IYAT : Behind Closed Doors - Kippei Ebihara
by fuyuharunatsuAki
Summary: First, he didn't notice my hair. Next, he didn't care my article was up for publishing. He lied to me, then I saw him finally with another woman one evening. I broke down in the restroom of the client Mr. Ebihara was working with, and I refused to come out looking like shit. He barged in, saw me in tears... then kissed me. That's how it started.. and it's still going on until now.
1. Chapter 1

_ I have been considered to make an article for one of the biggest awards in my industry. Needless to say, I have to write a winning article to boot to be able to qualify a nomination from the award-giving body. Believe me, it's a huge honor to be able to do something like this, but at the back of my mind, can I really do it?_

_I work for Roponggi Weekly, one of the highest selling newspapers in the area that is under my father's list of companies that he put up from the ground up. Don't tell anyone about that fact, okay? Anyway, I have worked here for several years already, doing meager articles like sales, company profiles, restaurant reviews and even focused on which funeral home gave the best cremation. It's a tough job and you need to deliver, but I get by through thorough research and well-planned appointments. My father has offered me a position, but i rejected it thinking about my own wants and goals to accomplish something for my own without his help. I adore my office a lot, and everyone has been so supportive of me ever since I was able to come through with last years best article within the company titled, "Where The Cheating Spouses Go". I managed to get some dirt from the cheating spouses who I hid in various names to conceal their identities and helped me identify where cheating grooms and brides go to do their philandering. I also have included the tell-tale signs of a philandering partner, what they usually say and how awkward things are... you know, the usual : hiding phones, deleting inboxes/emails, going out late at night and coming home in the wee hours of the morning, refusing to kiss you when before they do that.. stuff like that._

_It received a lot of recognition and made me excited to go on for my next venture..._

_...without me realizing the article I wrote was actually meant for me. _

* * *

"Aki, a little help? What could be another word for 'disappointed'?"

"Upset? Let-down?"

"Oh, thanks."

Aki propped her elbow on her desk, twiddling her pen between her fingers as she watched the busy atmosphere of the room. Everyone was hastily running here and there, shouts from bosses heard from different places of the office. She needed to come up with an article fast and was shooting blanks as she couldn't formulate a good subject to write about.

"Goddamn it, I can't write anything relevant to Tokyo if I focus on muscle cars and the Civil War," she grumbled, laying on her desk.

Her seatmate, Yahiko Kunori, who she calls 'Hiko' for short, frowned and hit her on the back of the head with a rolled magazine.

"Then stop looking at Vin Diesel and some American History magazine for inspiration. I mean, come on, you're far off from your deadline before the boss takes it into his reins and gives you the subject himself," he told her.

"Ow, thanks for hitting me, that really gave me inspiration, idiot." Akira tutted and agreed with a nod. "You're right, who knows what he has up his sleeve. I remember how he made you write about the mating habits of monkeys and relating them to bags of candy. I don't know how you pulled that off."

"Ah... '_When making love is as sweet as candy, one cannot help but be addicted; forsaking even the risks of cavities of the heart as one does not mind who he or she does it with'._" Yahiko wiggled his eyebrows, grinning widely. "That's art, Aki. I mean, I only got that from your article which got you in this position." Dreamily, Yahiko looked in the distance, beyond the walls of the office. "This line got me, _'Where cheating spouses go, the pain usually stays; corrupting the most pure of marriages, poisoning love that is sworn to eternity and destroys hearts that only love deeply.. Sometimes, it is better not to know, but where does the threshold for ignorance limit itself? They say ignorance is bliss... but to the loving heart, it is merely denial, a reason to keep on staying and not break the vow made before God. However, it's already broken... when that cheating spouse finds his/herself in another lover's arms...'_"

Aki wryly smiled as she recalled the glory she received from that article. It was her best and winning moment, her time to shine...

...but she found herself alone when her husband wasn't even interested in what she'd written.

She remembered that night so well and it hurt to think about it.

"Ah, shut up. Look at me now, barely having an idea on what to write about, Jesus Christ...", she sarcastically said, playing it off so as to not provoke Yahiko into quipping another line from her article.

Yahiko tutted, stretching his hands up as he yawned. "But really, I still can't believe your husband didn't show up for the party. He could've just left one night to go and bask in his wife's glory, you know. I don't understand why he-"

"He's got business to attend to, 'Hiko. And besides, his business really is that tedious and needs special attention."

"What business? Monkey business?", mused Yahiko. "You did great and that deserved his presence, Aki. Come on."

Aki stopped twiddling her pen between her fingers and froze in her seat.

"Monkey.. business?", she repeated.

"See, I don't know if wines and suppliers take that long in the evening to deal with. I dunno, maybe he is taking care of a monkey or has something on the side that he has to-"

"What do you mean 'something on the side'?", Akira asked sharply, her eyes glaring at him.

Yahiko thought for a moment and shrugged to pacify the situation. "Jeezus, why are you so defensive? I only meant that maybe other investors from different timezones, god."

"Oh...", Akira sighed and bit her lip. "I guess so..."

Yahiko gave her a gentle pat on the arm.

"If you say he had business to attend to... okay, Aki, I believe you.."

Aki looked at Yahiko, who returned her gaze with a look of concern.

"Thing is... do you believe it yourself?"

* * *

Aki was now cooking dinner, her mind occupied by the thoughts that traced back to her discussion with Yahiko.

"Monkey business..." she murmured to herself, staring into the pot of stew she simmered in the pot.

She stared at the ring on her finger, her engagement and wedding ring, and felt like it was fire on her skin.

Aki Gojo was now Aki Natsukawa, a businessman's wife. she met her husband Koichi through her parents who planned the arranged marriage along with his own mother and father. To Aki, everything was just out of business, preserving goods and contacts to just boost each other's performances in their own respective industries. She wasn't really up to it, to be honest; that she wasn't even interested in him, however, due to her parents insistence she succumbed to parental pressure and found herself going out with him several times. All Koichi did on their dates was... well, talk about his business ventures to which she couldn't relate with and by the time it was her turn to talk, he'd often say he had somewhere else to go and leave her on her own to end the night by herself. There were unconventional times he became kind. He'd call her up and offer to pick her up after work so they can spend dinner together to discuss wedding plans. Aki found herself growing interest for Koichi, even though he was at times uncaring and just aloof. In a way, she thought he'd make a good husband for her, and finally agreed to say yes when he proposed to her. He got her a diamond ring and popped the question in front of their parents.

"He didn't even kneel on one knee and..."

Aki sighed to herself. Even though she wasn't one to think about cinematic romance scenes and sweety-shit moments, she did want him to at least gaze up into her eyes and be sincere with it. All he did was take her hand, slid it on her finger and asked her. It was like she was asked to pass the ketchup. It's been almost a year now into their marriage, and Aki couldn't help but feel as if there's something wrong with their domestic arrangement.

Separate bedrooms.

Uncoordinated schedules and sleeping habits.

Koichi coming home late and going out at odd times in the day, but most often the evening.

The pointless fights which usually ended with Koichi slamming the door to her face or her walking out on him.

Unusual irritation once he was asked where he was or what time he's going to be home.

Among others, the most intriguing of all was they haven't lain in bed as husband in wife. It wasn't just about sex, but surely Koichi had 'needs'. He surely won't be getting them somewhere else since they're married, right? That's adultery and is indeed punishable by law.

Aki bit her lip and couldn't shake the feeling of dread. Looking at her reflection from the reflection of the stew she was simmering, Aki wondered why.

"I'm not ugly.. I know I do my best to keep up with my looks and even dress to impress when needed to...", she said loudly.

Turning off the stove, she let the pot cool a bit and got herself a drink of water. Truly, it is an odd set of circumstances but maybe Koichi must have a reason for their current living situation. Maybe he was also bothered, but didn't really want to open it up thinking Aki might get mad. Is that the case?

"I sure do hope so...", said Aki, as she placed the glass on the sink to do her work.

. . . . . .

Hours ticked by quickly and it was already almost midnight.

"Koichi's still not home," wondered Aki, taking a little breather from researching for a good article to submit to her boss as a draft.

What could Koichi be doing at this late hour when he just told her recently that the peak season for the wines he had to inspect for import was already over?

As if on cue, the door opened and in came Koichi looking serious as usual. Aki gave a smile which he didn't return.

"Welcome home," she greeted him. "Relax a little and I'll prepare some dinner."

Koichi just glanced at her and replied, "I don't need dinner. I already had dinner out with a colleague of mine and I am tired from working all day."

Aki was about to say something else when she heard the door to his office slam close as if telling her not to say more. Usually, women would just take it all in and cry about it; but Aki just scoffed, looking pretty riled at Koichi's attitude. She took a look at the dinner she prepared and put it in a container, muttering profanities under her breath as she kept the stew in the fridge to bring tomorrow for work. After all, all her husband's uneaten dinners are usually finished by Yahiko so it still won't go to waste. Sulking and just really angry, she washed the pot and the loud chinks of the silverware echoed all over the apartment.

"Will you keep it down? I'm trying to work,"

Aki looked to the direction of the voice and saw Koichi staring at her disinterestedly from the hallway to his room. She scowled at him and rolled her eyes.

"Oh sorry, Your Highness, I didn't mean to be a nuisance. Maybe if you ate here often and came home on time, I wouldn't be doing chores late in the evening, now won't I?", she sarcastically said.

Koichi didn't flinch. His eyes wandered over to the trash bin next to the sink.

"Take out the trash before you head to sleep."

Aki glared at him as he walked back to his room. The nerve of the man to not consider her efforts is direly alarming.

"Son of a bitch," she cussed to herself.

"Excuse me, what did you call me?"

'Oh, I didn't know you were still there," Aki hauled the trash bag and tied the label on it. She returned his annoyed gaze with a mockingly innocent one. "I didn't know you could also hear."

"I don't like the things coming out from that mouth of yours, Aki. You shouldn't talk to your husband that way," he told her imposingly.

Aki didn't like the thought of giving in so she placed a hand on her hip and shook her head, a bitter smile on her lips.

"Then start treating me like your goddamn wife. If you want a maid, go hire one. I don't fucking need to be treated like shit whenever you feel like it, Koichi. We're married and you're not doing your part in helping me out."

He scowled at her.

"Not doing my part? I'm working hard for the two of us and earning more than most men should so you can keep the lifestyle you're living now. You're not making things easier for me by nagging me and keeping me up late with your hormonal bullshit. You shouldn't even be working anymore. You should be preoccupied in thinking of a way to start a family," he answered her.

Aki couldn't believe what she just heard.

"_**I, **_should be thinking of a way to start a family? Koichi, I can't think of that on my own! I can't have a family if it's just me who wants it! Are you daft?", she retorted. "Listening to you talk to me like this makes me second-guess about my position in your life, do you know that? You treat me like a maid and don't even make any effort be a husband to me at all!"**  
**

Koichi took her roughly by the arm once she let out a frustrated breath and turned her back on him. He pushed her against the island counter and raised the skirt of her dress. Aki was struck speechless at how hurtful he was. She could feel the bulge of an erection beneath his slacks on her groin, making her uncomfortable at his touch. He pushed his erection onto her, making her push him away, but he was just too strong for her to move. Looking into his dark eyes, there was nothing in them that reminded her she was his wife, not even someone special to him.

"Is this your stupid way of provoking me into sleeping with you?", he asked bluntly.

Aki could smell alcohol on his breath, making her turn her head to the side. It wasn't even sleeping with him that was the problem. HE IS THE PROBLEM.

"Let go of me! You're hurting me!", she cried. "And what difference does it make? I wouldn't want to sleep with you if you're just going to do it out of spite."

"Then make yourself someone worthy of being wanted. If you're not getting what you want from me, get it somewhere else."

Koichi pushed himself off her and left her stunned at what he'd said. He didn't say anything more and went in his room, leaving her all alone in the kitchen completely paralyzed.

Aki sank to the floor looking completely angry at her hands were balled into fists and her teeth bared. Tears fell from her eyes on their own without her knowing.

"Bastard, bastard, bastard...", she muttered, hitting the floor again and again.

What an asshole.

Aki couldn't believe how cruel Koichi was tonight. To be so cold and heartless to his own wife was something she never expected, not even from him. How he spoke to her and ordered her like a slave, to even look at her with no hint of tenderness was beyond what she could ever come up with in the worst case scenarios in her mind. She waved it off as maybe he had a bad day, or a business transaction had gone wrong, but why was it there was something in her that was telling her that she was wrong? All this time, she thought she and him can develop feelings for each other, that they can be a real couple after starting to live together; but why was it it now felt like she was angrier at him whenever they'd talk or even see each other? There were so many things in her mind, but she discarded it upon seeing the trash bag on the floor. She wiped her continuously falling tears, took the alcohol on the counter and hauled it outside their apartment while sniffling in the empty hallway. Looking on ahead, she saw someone come from the trash chute by the fire exit and through the blur of her tears saw that it was a man wearing a tucked out dress shirt over slacks. She couldn't see his face clearly as the tears made everything murky.

"Uhm... let me get that for you," he said, taking the trash bag from her hands.

She felt warm fingers wrap around hers. The warmth was quick enough to make her feel a bit better, making her wipe her tears away as soon as she realized he was close by.

"Thank you," she managed to say.

Looking at him with his back turned to her, she saw he was fairly tall and watched him dispose of the trash bag into the chute.

"Good to see you started putting the segregation tags on the trash bags," he said. "It was time management started distributing these to tenants."

His voice was deep and calming, something similar to audible velvet to her ears. Aki looked down and sniffed, wiping her nose.

"Here,"

She saw a red handkerchief thrust to her, making her tear up more. Taking it, she dabbed it on her eyes delicately.

"Sorry... I've been cutting onions and teared up. How embarrassing," she lied. "Would you like some alcohol?"

"That would be nice, thanks."

She poured some on his hands and poured some on her too. The tears in her eyes still continued to fall and she just couldn't expel what had happened earlier on. At least she had a little distraction in the form of whoever the man was who still couldn't see. Even though it was just small-talk, she was thankful to calm herself in his presence so she can mellow out from her fight with Koichi.

"I'll hold onto this and return it to you washed."

The man gave a small laugh. "How thoughtful. You can drop it over at 2B. Anyway, I have to go."

"Thanks for the help."

"Anytime, but please, next time, ask your husband to do it for you instead. Good night."

Aki felt him pass her, and as she followed him with her gaze, she was already alone in the hallway. She wasn't able to see his face nor ask for his name.

* * *

"My, my... I am happy with this draft you made about the lost wilderness in Tokyo, but sweetie, I can't pass this as enough to make you win the award."

Aki's face fell as she heard the news straight from her boss. She spent three nights working on it to boot.

"What? But I stayed up all night writing that. I put all my best research into the article, boss. Come on, I think that's worth the lookover. You didn't even read after page seven."

Her boss, Goro Fukuda, a late-40's man with three sons, a beautiful wife and a perfect life, shook his head. "You did, but it lacks... it lacks passion. Your cheating spouses article, however, had a huge amount of it." He placed on his desk her draft and leaned closer to her, resting his chin on his hand. "Tell me child, what was the source of that passion from that article?"

Aki thought hard for a moment and bitterly said, "I was.. I was a newlywed, sir. I was too in love and wanted other single people to be more aware of their positions in their relationships. Being a newlywed opened my eyes to others and am thankful I am at a better place with my husband."

Goro raised his eyebrow. "Okay, so has the fire lost its' spark then?"

She didn't answer. Her boss tutted lightly, gazing at her with a look of fatherly concern.

"If there is anything wrong with your domestic life, I suggest you while it outside and enjoy your_ own_ life, Aki," he told her softly, emphasizing on the 'own' as if he knew what was going on. "You can't forever rely on your husband to do things with you. I am not saying you rush it with marriage counseling, but maybe you need to settle with your own personal issues too."

Aki clamped her lips shut and nodded, trying hard to control the tears that was climbing up to escape from her eyes. She couldn't tell her boss what was happening since it might look as if she's mixing work with her personal life. Sucking it up, she nodded with more affirmation as she cleared her throat. She then saw her boss's hand holding a tissue and a piece of paper in front of her. Curiously, she took it, examining the piece of paper as she dabbed her eyes with the tissue.

"What... what's this?" she asked.

Aki saw the scribble on the paper read 'Kippei Ebihara'.

"Kippei Ebihara..?", she questioned, looking up at her boss.

Goro nodded. "Yup, him."

"Isn't he the Best Designer for the Interior Design category for five years in a row?"

"Yeah."

"Is he my next article?"

"No, he's gonna be your subject for your award-winning article."


	2. Chapter 2

Weeks after meeting with Goro, Akira was up into the late hours researching about Kippei Ebihara and couldn't find a single article that deviated from 'award-winning designer for 5 years in a row'. It was beginning to be frustrating, and the fact that the submission for the articles to be nominated for the awards is already a month away. It's so close. After telling it to Yahiko, he was floored; looking completely dumbfounded.

"He asked you to write what? About who? And why?"

"About some dude named Kippei Ebihara. I don't know, you know how the boss is, Hiko."

Yahiko sighed as he continued to tap on his keyboard. "Well, actually I have heard of him. He's some designer within our area who's known for his memorable yet functional designs. Aside from winning awards, he's also nominated for best team and best solo space."

"How'd you know about him? You actually look like you don't know anything about design."

"My girlfriend's obsessing about him since she attended the awards weeks back. She said he was such a hottie. Also, my friend, Shohei Aiba works in the same company as Ebihara. And also, works in his team. This is actually a wonderful opportunity, I can ask Aiba later on."

Akira's eyes grew wide. "You... have a girlfriend? Is this the same one or a new one?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said? I tell you of a wonderful opportunity to meet with your subject and all you heard was 'girlfriend'. She's a new one. The art student before her found out I was ten years her senior and called me a dirty old man and threatened to report me to the police."

"Haha, with all good reason. You don't really look respectable with your goatee and that pervert gleam in your eye," teased Aki, a simpering grin on her face.

"Shut up. Come on, have a look at what you just managed to search."

Yahiko peered over Akira's shoulder as they both researched about the Ebihara guy she was to write about. After scrolling past his several pages of achievements and awards, they finally reached his bio.

"Damn. This man is a monster, listen to this :

_'Kippei Ebihara was won several awards for his innovative and phenomenal designs. Mixing sensual appeal, leisure, finance and utility; he makes it a point to deliver exquisitely executed proposals into realities for clients on a budget without breaking the bank. With a keen eye for style, color and comfort, he utilizes all aspects into a creation that rivals most designs; however, Kippei reigns supreme as he balances it out with the client's own identity, personality and image. He never leaves out a client in every little move he does, taking into consideration his clients' inputs and suggestions into every nook and cranny he transforms into a work of art in the modern world for his clients to marvel and enjoy. Kippei is goal-driven, will not stop to achieve the best for both ends and seals the deal, ready to move on to his next project; prepared, willing and most of all, determined to meet his future clients' expectations. His methods are a mix of the unorthodox and the methodological, making him a powerhouse in the design world as he never ceases to come up with brilliant masterpieces to showcase his passion in creating spaces that aim to please without even trying too hard. His first project was the 'Sunshine House', a therapy center dedicated to his late brother who stood as breadwinner and sent Kippei through school. Being the overachiever that Kippei is, older brother Kouhei can be proud seeing his brother live out the life he worked hard to provide from him, with Kippei making others happy with his beautiful works of art that not also preserve his clients' identities, but also their precious memories in every splash of color, furniture arrangement and light fixture.'_

How can a man like this not be overly, totally gay?", asked Yahiko, totally shaking his head from the bio he just read aloud. "And he's straight, AND HOT." He pointed at a photo of Kippei Ebihara shaking a man's hand at the recently held design awards. "Look at him! He's all,_ 'Hey, I'm such an amazing designer and I'll shake your hand because I'm smug and shit, oh and did I mention I won again this year for Best Designer? No? Well, look at this trophy I'm holding, it's made from swarovski. You don't have one? Oh, hahahaha, you're a sad little shit'_. I don't know if I'm impressed because he can be smug since he's hot, smart, straight and amazing as fuck, or if I'm mad because I'm not him and turning gay because he's hot, smart, straight and amazing as fuck! Look at his smile! He's belittling my person with it, indirectly telling me I'm as awesome as the pube on his thing! I bet even his pubes must be overachievers!"

"Goddamn it, Hiko, your analogies are completely out of this world. And stop giving me mental images, being seated next to you is a mental image I wish to forget everyday." Aki sighed as she gazed at his photo. "Sounds like he'll be difficult to write about," Aki said, looking at the other tabs on her monitor. "Damn it, I can't find any other bio of him online. I guess I better flip through the magazines. Hiko, can you get some from the break room? Just four would do from the design catalogue, you're gonna go there for coffee anyway."

"Okie. Can I have some coins? I'm out of coins as of the moment. You know how those blasted vending machines love to take my bills. I'm safeguarding my moolah from now on." Yahiko stood up and stretched his hands up to the ceiling, a big yawn escaping his mouth. "By the way, I'll be going off early tonight. Le girlfriend and I have a little movie night at her place," he said, a grin on his lips forming.

Aki scowled as she handed him coins from her purse. "That disgusting horny grin on your face is creeping me out. Go think your fantasies over there and keep me out of it."

"You sure don't want to go try hitting it off with me, Aki? I don't mind you being married and all," said Yahiko with a straight face.

"After hearing your Ebihara impersonation and marveling at his pubes, I don't want to be alone in a hallway with you; who knows what other rancid things you can do. Or even say."

Yahiko tutted. "You're such a prude."

"Not really, I'm just married."

"That too."

Aki waved off Yahiko, placing her chin on her hand as she propped her elbow on her desk. She stared at her subject's photo on her monitor, anxiously wondering how she's going to start her article with him. Judging from his bio and his reputation, he seems someone not really interested in trifles such as being interviewed and wouldn't care less unless it revolved around his job. With a sigh, she leaned back on her backrest, thinking what she could write about him. Aki looked at Kippei Ebihara's face and narrowed her eyes.

"You're pretty good-looking, aren't you?", she said under her breath. "And you won't make my job easier too, huh?"

She stared a little more as if expecting the photo to reply, however she simply sighed heavily as she massaged her temple.

"Hey Aki,"

Lifting her gaze, she saw one of the editors looking at her with a seemingly concerned look on his face.

"Oh, Watanabe, what's wrong?", she asked.

Choi Watanabe was one one of those bosses that really didn't talk much and was more acquainted with deadlines than with the people who worked beneath him, however, he was kind and always meant well for everyone, even to the ones he barely interact with. His parents were friends with hers and maintained good business with them by always including their breweries in their issues. From what Aki remembered, Choi came from a wealthy family of brewers and recalled that Koichi did business with his father once. He chose to work for the paper instead of working for his father; but also takes over from time to time when is father isn't around. Their wines have been major sellouts and the Watanabe brand has been Koichi's prime goal to set a contract for them to invest in his company. Koichi didn't seem to be aware that the son worked with Aki and she on the other hand didn't tell him since she didn't want to burden herself with work that is unrelated to hers. There were times she felt guilty, most especially when Koichi would complain on how the Watanabes are "too finicky and complicated to work with"; but she'd just stay quiet and not mention anything more. Doing so might just make things worse and besides, Koichi may be her husband, but he wasn't much of a husband anyway he has to do his business on his own.

"Uhm, has your husband talked to you about the party tonight to be held at Napa Hotel?", he asked cautiously, talking in a slightly lower tone to keep anyone from hearing.

Frowning, Aki simply shook her head.

Aki felt a little tightness in her chest. Well, what is there to expect, Koichi doesn't even talk to her. "He hasn't told me anything about it.. Why?"

Choi thought for a moment. "Well, just so you know, wives are welcome to come along. It will also be good for you to see what your husband does yourself."

Aki noticed that Choi put an emphasis on the word 'wives'. She met Choi's eyes. There was a gleam in them that seemed to hide something more and 'It will be good for you to see what your husband does himself'? Choi in fact looked like he actually had something more to say, and Aki could feel herself getting nervous. Judging from how awkward he looked and how uncomfortable the atmosphere became, there was no denying that Choi knew something. Aki straightened up to lean forward and ask, but from her peripheral saw a disgruntled looking Yahiko stomping back to his desk.

"I better go," said Choi, glancing at Yahiko. "Talk to you later. Or later tonight, if ever."

"Choi- wait-"

But, Choi went back to his office and closed the door behind him.

Yahiko saw Choi leave Aki's desk and eyed him suspiciously. "What did the hermit want with you?", he asked nonchalantly, plopping down the magazines on Aki's desk while he sipped his drink. "Here, got you some hojicha tea latte."

"You come at the worst possible moment."

Aki sighed heavily and took the latte Yahiko got for her. She was curious on what Choi seemed to know. Her heart couldn't stop throbbing in her chest. A part of her wanted to march to Choi's office and get the answer straight but the other half wanted to just have Koichi explain himself that night. A voice in her mind said that she's better off not knowing instead. Aki was now bothered, and she knew it was something big. It was worse because her husband seemed to be involved.

"What? I didn't know it was a particularly tender moment you two shared!" Yahiko sank down his seat and sulked. "Anyway, what's up? You look pale."

Aki sipped her tea and didn't say anything more. Her mind flitted over to what Choi had said.

Obviously, he knew something she didn't.

* * *

Aki came home around 6 that evening. Obviously drained from working all day and submitting side articles, she plopped on the sofa and huffed.

"Aki, is that you?"

Aki glanced at her left where Koichi's office was. She prickled her ears a bit more and heard movement in the room. What a strange surprise! Koichi's home! Her mind recalled what Choi had said about a dinner party at the ritzy Napa Hotel. Her heart gave a sudden leap. It was rare for Koichi to be home at such an early time, so maybe...

"Yes, it's me, Koichi," she answered. Aki felt torn but somehow a part of her was relieved that he was there early.

He came from his office and Aki saw he was wearing one of his nicer suits. She could see what a handsome man he is, and very well-mannered, but still, her heart still hasn't overlooked at how poorly he treated her recently. Koichi stared at Akira who was clearly exhausted on the sofa. A miffed look crossed his face as his eyebrows met together in the middle when he put on his necktie.

"What's this? It's only 6 in the evening and you're looking as if you swam from here to Okinawa," he expressionlessly said.

Aki was waiting for him to say something. She didn't bother say anything as she just gave him a wry smile. "Of course I have work, Koichi." She saw that he was struggling with his tie and stood up. "Let me help you put on your tie."

Koichi tutted first, but let it go and allowed her.

There was a little warmth radiating in her chest. In a way, she thought of him maybe recognizing her now as his wife and was making it up to her for treating her poorly. Aki properly tied his knot together and as she gently pulled the tie down, she glanced up at Koichi who was looking at her. Their stare lingered a little, with Aki feeling Koichi's hands gently landing on her hips. A little chill coursed through her, with her clearing her throat to break their little contact. It made her awkward since what happened in their kitchen was still fresh in her mind. She tugged firmly on his tie a little and patted it on his chest.

"There, it's fixed."

"What're you looking at?", he coldly asked.

"I just thought you looked pretty good tonight. Are you going somewhere?"

Koichi cleared his throat and looked away, a slight pink on his cheeks. "As a matter of fact, we are. I have business dinner with a partner and I don't know why, but you're allowed to come. They said wives can join in. I figured it'll be good to know the wives since you'll be needing female friends to be with when us guys play golf or have our meetings and parties."

Aki looked up at him, eyes slightly wide. "Are you... are you asking me to go with you?", she asked, somehow impressed.

Koichi scowled at her. "Yes. What else? Can you at least try to keep up tonight? I don't want to look like an embarrassment." He gave one last look at Aki and said, "Well, there is after all a purpose for having a pretty wife after all."

Aki lowered her gaze, a little blush on her cheeks. Why was he suddenly being nice?

"I'll give you thirty minutes. Wear something nice."

Before Koichi turned around, Aki stood up and took his hand.

"What are you doing wasting time for?", he asked looking irritated.

"Thank you...", said Aki, giving him a tender smile. "I appreciate you asking me to go with you."

Maybe it was just because he had a bad day and a business venture turned out wrong. Maybe he was trying to make it up to her now in his own way. Koichi may be a man of few words and completely combative at times, but Aki thought again and figured maybe he was now warming up to her.

Koichi scoffed lightly, a wicked glint in his eye appearing. He slapped her hand away from him.

"What're you talking about? This doesn't mean I actually want you to go. They've been asking me to bring you so I will just take you to make them shut up. Don't get silly things in your head, Aki. As my wife, you are obligated to keep your promise and fulfill my requests. I'm not doing this because I want to. Get ready, you are wasting my time."

He went on back in his room, leaving Aki to quietly nurse the new stab wound on her heart. Her chin trembled, her fists shaking; and she couldn't believe for a split-second that she was actually considering that MAYBE Koichi was changing.

How wrong she was for thinking he's actually warmed up to her.

* * *

"Mrs. Natsukawa, such a pleasure to see you finally. Your husband has kept you quite a mystery from all of us for quite a while; now I can see why."

"Ah, thank you. It is nice to meet you, Mr. Miyazawa. My husband has said many things about you."

"Oh? Like what? Like how I beat him in golf? Hahahaha!"

"Well, there is something about a nice swing, but left the part where you beat him out," said Aki, not knowing what she was talking about since Koichi didn't talk to her at all, but best tracked on golf to make small-talk.

"I adore your beautiful wife, Mr. Natsukawa, not unlike my wife and all the other wives here; she's funny and is so relaxing to talk to! You are indeed a lucky son of a bitch!"

Aki smiled genially and bowed. She was happy for choosing her white scoop neck sheath dress that was until her knee. It fit her like a glove, giving her a little confidence as Koichi's associates gathered around them once they came in. Feeling the stares on her, Aki felt timid, but she kept her best to smile at them and greet them all. Her mind still tracked back to their apartment, her insides still churning with hurt from her idiocy. Koichi was unkind and brazen, not even considering her feelings with regards to this request. Talking to one of Koichi's main bosses was nice, but it was heart-wrenching since they had to lie to him and pretend to have a good relationship as husband and wife. Aki wanted to leave so many times and wanted to just go home to no longer put up with the lie, but Koichi was right; she was his wife and she had to stand by his side even if it hurt.

"Mr. Miyazawa, such kind words from you. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. My wife is indeed the source of my drive to do better business," Koichi said, greasing over his words. "Our home is warm and full of love having her to go home to."

Aki inwardly raised her eyebrow. Hearing Koichi say the word 'love' was like nails on a chalkboard.

Mr. Miyazawa laughed. "Hearing sentiments from you is quite shocking, Mr. Natsukawa. Having such a beautiful and career-oriented wife is a man's dream; a mixture of strength and independence! Not to mention funny and witty too. Tell me, are there little Natsukawas following through anytime soon?"

Aki gave a side glance to Koichi.

"Considering my wife's hectic schedule and career goals, why, I have to wait up for her to come home and plan a family, but she always tells me she's too tired," said Koichi with no hint of remorse. "I do miss her at times, but I just understand and simply wish she'd come home more often.

Aki's eyes widened. What. HE was the one who always comes home late! HE was the one who says he's always tired! HE's the one who doesn't want to start a family! Aki sighed quietly and plastered on an apologetic smile, acting her best. Arguing won't do good after all and Aki just wanted the night to be over and done with.

"Mrs. Natsukawa, give your husband a little time and spend your evenings planning ahead for your bundles of joy!"

"I do need to get my priorities checked. I do hate the fact I am not being a good wife to my husband," she sarcastically said, making Koichi give her a little glare without his boss noticing. "My husband who's so caring and loving, preparing meals for me and helping me around the house. I am such a lucky woman to have him with me!"

"Now, now honey; such flattery is so heartwarming that I almost can't believe you mean it," said Koichi, a pointed smile forming on his lips.

Aki simply smiled sarcastically at him and told him, "Oh you know I mean that with every breath on my body. Sometimes, I actually wonder myself if I am deserving of such love coming from you."

"Such love! I am clearly envious!", marveled Mr. Miyazawa.

"My wife, indeed one of a kind. No wonder I love her and am thankful she married me."

Aki's smile faltered a bit hearing him lie to his boss. Koichi slipped a hand around her waist, keeping her close to him as they made the rounds and greeted their associates. It was the same thing for each, lie after lie piled up; with Aki looking more and more morose as they made their trips all over the place. As they were able to get to their table, Aki wasn't smiling anymore. She was angry and didn't show any glee in meeting Koichi's partners in business anymore. He was just using her to get a meal ticket to the best place he could possibly get in his business goals. She downed her glass of champagne, her features rigid and her breathing barely masking how furious she was.

"What's with that face? Smile. You're shaming me," hissed Koichi to her ear. "Mr. Yashida is one of the topguns in my company and I want him to meet you. If you look like that, it's going to be a major disaster on my part. Keep up, will you? He's coming this way."

Aki glanced at Koichi, a glare escaping from her amber eyes as she calmed herself. She didn't want to lie anymore. She no longer wanted to stay and pretend what isn't supposed to be. There was no point.

"I don't want to do this anymore! You're making me feel bad about lying to your bosses and you're just really pushing me down to the ground with this attempt of yours to get a better seat in the board room!", Aki hissed back through gritted teeth.

Koichi held her hand underneath the table tightly and squeezed hard. Aki winced a little and strained to yank her hand back.

"Listen, do you think it matters to me how you feel? If I don't make a move I can't really provide for you now, can I? Stop being so fucking emotional and don't give me your lectures and bullshit!", said Koichi to her ear, finally letting go of her hand. He then stood up and said, "Ah, Mr. Yashida, finally nice to see you along with your... wife."

Aki looked up and saw Mr. Yashida and his fairly younger wife, Ai Yashida. Ai Yashida's slut red lips curled into a smile that made Aki's skin crawl.

It was as if Ai knew her, and was eager to stab her in the face the moment their eyes met.


	3. Chapter 3

Aki didn't like Ai Yashida immediately upon seeing her. Something about her made her look like some evil femme fatale who's out to steal husbands and snatch babies from their cribs. Wearing a very plunging and ALMOST see-through dress, Aki couldn't believe she chose such a dress to wear in what was supposed to be a very formal gathering. The cut was too provocative, and men were craning their necks to have a see. Aki snuck a glance at Koichi. He had a smile on his lips that she's never seen before and her eyes could be deceiving her, but she couldn't resist thinking that was for Ai. She didn't know what to make out of it, but it seemed almost... seedy.

"Mr. Natsukawa, Mrs. Natsukawa, such a lucky time for you two to grace us with your presence. Glad to know you're here," said Mr. Yashida, shaking Koichi's hand.

"Likewise, Mr. Yashida, Mrs. Yashida. It is a pleasure to see you once more, Mrs. Yashida." Koichi said.

How he said 'pleasure' was entirely disturbing and Aki couldn't believe she was part of the conversation.

"Please to meet your acquaintance, Mr. and Mrs. Yashida," greeted Aki, but didn't really mean it as she gave a bow.

Ai looked at Aki as she straightened up and gave her a scanning gaze. "Mrs. Natsukawa... a pleasure to see you finally. Koichi here has kept you from all of us for a long time and seeing you in the flesh makes me understand why. A very pretty wife you have here, Koichi. You better make sure she isn't... snatched up by some other man." She had a rather flirtatious glance at Koichi.

Aki hid her displeasure at Ai eyeing Koichi in such a way; and where was her respect? Addressing her husband by his name before her own? AKi gave a little frown and managed a small smile but couldn't push on.

"Now, honey, seeing Mr. and Mrs. Natsukawa together makes me look back on the days when we were newlyweds. Great times, yes? Anyway, Mrs. Natsukawa, a pleasure to see you. Koichi here has been mum about you, but seeing you now, I take that you're quite the career-woman?", said Mr. Yashida. "Your maiden name is familiar to me. Is your family the owner of the publications company that leans towards the business sector?"

Aki nodded. 'Yes, sir. My father is currently the head and is helped along by mother. I, on the other hand, work for Roponggi Weekly that is also under my father's company, however, I am just a writer there. I wouldn't want my father's name to be defining me after all. Working my way up is what he taught me to go somewhere."

"How pitiful! You're still stuck in your father's shadow even at your age!", Ai proclaimed quite loudly making the other guests turn to them. "Can't you find another job that's apart from your father's? If it was me, I'd completely die from shame! How could you still live up to that, Mrs. Natsukawa? That's a big letdown for your Koichi, don't you think so?"

How uncouth. It was by her own choice to stay and Aki did like writing even if it was difficult at times. She loved writing as a means to make her imagination take over, her words to lay out what she felt and what she has gathered from her subject. Writing made her free, made her happy; and seeing Ai Yashida ridicule her for her choice to not deviate from her path was embarrassing. There was nothing wrong with staying true to your heart, at least Aki was doing something for a living and not squandering her husband's money to buy barely-there dresses and globs of makeup. Aki's amber eyes met with Ai's, and she saw the insult directed at her.

It made her wonder why is it she's such a bitch when it was her first time to meet her.

Aki, however, chose to be classy about it and gave her a genuine smile laced with a little pomp.

"Mrs. Yashida, I will overlook such a statement from you, however, let me correct you that I am not even in my father's shadow to be precise. Considering that I may be working under his name, I do plan on working my way up to be able to prove enough that I am worthy to take over his company when he does get tired from running it. No one in the publications know that I am the daughter of the founder and that is how I want it to be. I am not a housewife, that I admit, but even my husband can say that I do manage both chores and work at home very well." Aki then tilted her head and asked, "Well, my career is out and do tell me, Mrs. Yashida, my husband hasn't told me what you do for a living. Care to tell me to institute a fair trade?"

Aki had a simpering smile the moment she saw Ai's falter and turn sour.

"Very impressive, Koichi! This is why I chose you to be one of the board members! Your choices have done nothing but impress me in the boardroom, but your domestic choices have too! Your wife is a powerhouse! It almost scares me how you are able to keep up with each other considering you're both very competitive!" Mr. Yashida leaned in and chuckled. "I can almost imagine how adventurous it must be for the two of you in the bedroom!"

Aki laughed gaily, shaking her head. It was almost too amusing to hear someone else say their sex life was example of rough love with pulling on hair and biting, leaving lovemarks. It was such a joke to her considering they haven't even had sex or touched each other intimately.

"Oh Mr. Yashida, let me stop you there. Nothing of that sort ever happens," she replied.

"Oh, I believe that to be very true. From what I know, husbands don't like their women to be very accomplished. Makes them want to look for the passion and heat they want somewhere else. Women who can't be tied down lose their men to others willing to submit to them. "

Aki glanced at Ai Yashida, and saw the grin on her face. Something about it hid a very bad truth to which Aki will discover later on. A chill ran down her spine and though she plastered her smile on her face, there was a feeling in her that wanted to throw up. Aki couldn't help but feel that Ai was implying something, but without further proof on what it is, she's simply stuck with the idea that maybe she didn't like her that much.

Clearing her throat, Aki simply said, "With what you said Mrs. Yashida, you seemed to imply my husband doesn't deserve me at all and that you completely know how to spot men who are completely outranked by their wives. Maybe because doing nothing all day makes you an expert in doing so."

Mr. Yashida laughed with hearty mirth at the exchange. Aki and Ai's eyes never left each other, and Koichi seemed gray in the face.

"Mr. Natsukawa, your wife totally has given me a reason to consider you more for the position you are vying for!", he happily said, clapping Koichi on the shoulder. "I am happy that your wife is such a go-getter such as yourself! A woman who cannot bear be beaten is such a wonderful treasure to possess! Careful, if you're not that much of a good husband, another man will happily take her whether she is married or not."

"I am pleased to have your approval but please Mr. Yashida, I am sure Aki and we love each other very much. We plan to stay together for a very long time," Koichi replied looking completely stony-faced. Aki glanced at him and just rolled her eyes as she looked away. "I apologize Mrs. Yashida for my wife. She clearly didn't mean anything."

"Best keep that wife of yours on a leash. Who knows what forms of rabies she can spread," Ai retorted spitefully.

Aki was losing patience with Ai. It was obvious that she didn't like her, but on what grounds?

"Honey, stop it. It's a wonderful opportunity to meet Mrs. Natsukawa. Perhaps you can rethink of going to work soon so you don't spend your days just shopping and gambling in the casinos. I think Mrs. Natsukawa is the new breed of wives Japan will be seeing soon and to see someone young, beautiful and smart to spearhead it makes me happy to see that society is indeed improving."

Aki won this round, and she cannot help but swell inside with proud for wording out such an inbred woman. But really, what was her deal anyway? Why did she hate her so much to even try to create a scene?

"Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom," said Aki, dismissing herself.

As she passed by Ai, Aki felt her bump her shoulder. Looking bad at Aki, Ai had a knowing grin on her face that didn't seem friendly, apologetic nor nice.

"Watch your husband, Mrs. Natsukawa. A woman such as yourself doesn't really deserve someone like him," she said beneath her breath to keep their men from hearing them. "You act high and mighty, but come one day, you'll realize you were never really anything to him at all."

Aki didn't say anything more and went on her way. Her heart was pounding heavily and tears threatened to fall from her eyes. What did Ai mean? What did she know? Not only Choi, but now her? Where was Choi anyway? Looking at her watch, she saw it was still early and figured he might be a bit late. Deciding to calm her nerves in the bathroom, she made her way and barely got through the people crowding the buffet table. As she got through, Aki took a breath first, before moving on and bumping into a man by the doorway.

"S-Sorry...", she said. Looking up, she gasped a bit. "Mr. Kippei Ebihara."

Kippei Ebihara was standing before her. He raised an eyebrow, looking curiously at her. His voice sounded extremely familiar.

"Strange to see you in a business conference," he simply answered.

"E-Excuse me?", Aki asked dumbfounded. "Have we... have we met?"

Kippei curled one side of his lip. "Nice to see you not crying over onions."

He passed by Aki and it was when she realized he was the man in the hallway that night she took the trash to the chute.

"It was you!", she exclaimed timidly. "You were the man who helped me in the hallway! And you mean to tell me... we're neighbors?"

He looked over his shoulder and simply gave her a smile. "You're quick to pick up."

Aki finally remembered her article and went over to him, grabbing his wrist to stop him from leaving her. It was the perfect opportunity to ask him to give her the honor of an interview and to tag along to gather material for her entry. She was ecstatic despite the little exchange earlier, but who cares? Her subject was there, strangely in a business meeting.

"Uhm.. you're... a designer. What're you doing here?"

"I have a meeting with the Watanabes tonight."

"Are you perhaps meeting with Choi Watanabe?", asked Aki, not being able to get over her luck.

Kippei turned to face her and nodded. He placed a hand in his pocket and wiped the tip of his nose. "Yes. He's the one who contacted me with regards to the new restaurant they were opening that specialized in beers. Do you... know him?"

Aki nodded. "He's an officemate of mine in Roponggi Weekly. He's actually one of the bosses in my department. Judging from the look on your face, I can tell he's not really an easy client?"

Kippei gave a heavy sigh, to which Aki laughed. He glanced at her as she did so. "Well, I would hate to admit seeing you could rat me out."

"He's been always like that, but he's just a really meticulous guy, Mr. Ebihara."

Kippei seemed to have remembered something and said, "How rude. Uhm seems you already know me, I would want to ask for your name. Sorry, I'm not really good with meeting non-clients."

Aki extended her hand for a handshake. "Oh, I'm Aki..."

She thought for a moment and wondered if she should introduce herself as Aki Gojo or Aki there before Kippei, she couldn't help but want to hide the fact she was married. Maybe he won't agree if he to work with her if he finds out she was married. After all, there is a little awkwardness in dealing with married work partners and Aki didn't him to feel like he had to tread on eggshells with her IF EVER he decides to work with her.

"Aki, there you are."

Kippei and Aki turned to see Choi Watanabe approaching them. Aki smiled at Choi who returned it half-heartedly upon seeing Kippei. Choi looked different from his usual get-up. Tonight he was wearing a suit from his usual collared-shirt and jeans. Aki had to admit, Choi was good-looking but shook it off when she saw Koichi between the heads of Kippei and Choi staring at her while Mr. Yashida and his inbred of a wife talked to him. Aki didn't want to be there and deal with Ai so she told herself to stay with Choi and Kippei. After all, there was also work to consider. She was already there along with Kippei, might as well make the best of it.

"Oh, Choi, hey. This is Kippei Ebihara and he just told me you contacted him for your new venture in the brewery?"

Choi eyed Kippei and nodded. "Yup. Dad wants the new pub to be under his care anyway so just to indulge him, I immediately contacted him. So, Mr. Ebihara, how goes the design proposal?", he asked, extending his hand to shake Kippei's.

Kippei shook his hand firmly and said, "It's going well, though I need more specifications when it comes to the cellars. I have to admit you were a bit vague coming off with the design you wanted and couldn't keep in mind you need to consider the lighting fixtures. I also added modifications to the fermentation rooms, I will send it to you now, hold on."

Watching Kippei and Choi conduct business before her, Aki now wondered how to put in her own slice into their conversation. She didn't want to seem left out, but she also didn't want to seem pushy. Knowing Kippei was already evasive of interviews, she didn't want to be like the others who want to put him on the map. She watched him seriously tinker on his smartphone. He was too handsome to be a designer, she thought to herself. She was intimidated by his voice and how good his posture is, even his choice of a pinstriped suit topped off with a red tie. Kippei Ebihara was suave and sexy, and Aki felt almost guilty for admiring another man other than her husband. At least she now knew how the women felt who were within Kippei's proximity. She noticed them looking at him with lustful gazes and pointing at him.

"By the way Aki, since Kippei is here, I think this is a wonderful opportunity to put his brand out there too."

Aki looked surprised at Choi. "How sudden of you, Choi! I was about to excuse myself so you two can-"

"Nonsense." Choi pocketed his phone and said, "Kippei, Aki Gojo here is one of our extremely talented writers. She's nominated for the Writer's Quill Awards and has given the opportunity to make you her subject for her article."

Kippei pocketed his phone and looked at Aki with a calculating gaze. Aki stared back, raising her eyebrows a bit as if to say, "What?".

"Is she married to your company's founder or the son of the founder?", he asked. "I have heard that Roponggi Weekly is founded by the Gojo who also publishes one of our magazines and sponsors our annual events."

"Neither. She's the daughter of the boss, well, the real boss," Choi answered nonchalantly, generating a groan from Aki. "She doesn't really like people knowing that fact, but if it helps, why not. I do know you're having a hard time with this month's publication for Designs and Concepts issue no. 2 for this year. What do you say? I promise to be more cooperative with you this time and go along with your adventures to textile companies in Chiba to oversee fabrics for Dad's little project. It's the least I can do for your patience in our renovation. Maybe Aki here can squeeze in a good word or two to Daddy."

Kippei gave her an interested look and Aki smiled forcefully. Aki couldn't breathe as she hoped to God he would accept. It would at least make the hard part ease off from her so she can start and gather materials. She also needed to read up on designer terms so she won't be harassing him with asking what his own forms of jargon meant. Letting Choi speak was somehow a breath of fresh air to her, however, she wondered why he even brought up her relation to her boss. It was also a surprise knowing Design and Concepts Magazine was under Kippei's company and that it was put on hold for something. Seeing this could be a good opportunity to mutual compensation, Aki privately decided it was a good deal.

"Will her husband even be at peace with the idea of her working with me?", he asked all of a sudden.

"Her husband seems to be at peace knowing she's talking to two men while she's away from him," said Choi, but his words were laced with a hidden meaning.

That fact pierced Aki's heart. She slowly sneaked a glance and saw Koichi now talking to other partners with Ai now with him. Where did Mr. Yashida go?

Kippei sighed and said as he faced Aki, "Well, Ms. Gojo, I don't usually give interviews but I would gladly have you concentrate on my work and not my personal life."

"Oh don't worry. I don't really like delving into the nitty gritty. Exposing you and your wife's privacy is not part of my job."

Kippei took a while before answering. "I'm not married."

Aki couldn't help but not look away from Kippei as he said that. The way he stared at her was... intense.

Choi cleared his throat and was about to speak when his face showed distaste to someone behind Kippei.

"Oh, could it be Mr. Natsukawa has come to claim his beautiful wife after seeing her being surrounded by other men?"

Koichi was there standing behind Kippei. Aki just stared and let her wife duties take over as she walked over to him. There was an odd expression on Koichi's face as he took glances at Choi and Kippei, two very good-looking men who was talking to his wife. His business partners were also looking, anticipating a brawl. Aki, however, didn't feel anything, but the moment her eyes met Ai's, who was looking at her strangely, she couldn't help but get smug inside.

"Mr. Ebihara and Mr. Watanabe, this is my husband Koichi Natsukawa," she introduced. "Koichi, Choi Watanabe and Kippei Ebihara."

"A pleasure to meet you finally Mr. Choi Watanabe and Mr. Ebihara. To what pleasure does my wife owe you for taking her time from me?", said Koichi.

Kippei nonchalantly took a glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and handed it to Choi and Aki, but none for Koichi.

"Mr. Natsukawa, it is a pleasure to meet you. Your wife is currently managing a business arrangement between me and Mr. Watanabe here. From what I have heard, she is quite a good writer. Are you aware of that?", said Kippei. "Also, I live in the same apartment complex as you do. Isn't it a coincidence?"

"Really? I haven't been aware of that. Good to meet you then, Mr. Ebihara. What work do you do?"

"I am a designer and specialize in commercial spaces." Kippei shook Koichi's hand and handed him his calling card.

"He's been the five-year winner for best designer, Mr. Natsukawa. You could consider hiring him to renovate that drab and stiff office of yours. No wonder my father has complained on how unpleasant and suffocating the atmosphere and ambiance is in your building." Choi sipped his champagne and said, "Are you also the Mr. Natsukawa that does business with my father? I have heard so many... things about you. Like how you're completely familiar with the Yashidas."

Aki was now left out with their conversation completely. Here again with Choi's extremely mysterious insinuations. She noticed Koichi turn a bit gray under Choi's gleaming gaze that seemed to know a lot. Seeing that, she now knew she needed to talk to Choi soon. After all, he did open it up and now is best to know what was going on. Well, not that moment but once she gets Choi alone.

"Mr. Yashida has been a good business partner, Mr. Watanabe. I am sure that your father also knows that considering we are wooing him to invest with us." Koichi took Aki's champagne from her hands and downed it as if to lubricate the tension forming among the three men. "Your father has shown interest and I am the one personally handling his accounts with us. I see to it to take care of your father's assets meticulously. I show him reports off the performance of some of the stocks he's invested with us."

Choi grinned sarcastically. "So I've heard. I heard as well from some board members that you're also taking care of the assets of the Yashidas? Especially... Mrs. Yashida's? How often do you report to her with her stock performance? And also her assets?"

Kippei darted his eyes between Choi and Koichi. Aki did so too. There was an unspoken tension forming and it wasn't looking very good now. Aki listened to Choi and it was then she picked up on where Choi left off.

There was an insinuation of an affair.


	4. Chapter 4

"You enjoyed that, didn't you?"

"What are you prattling about? I don't know what's wrong with you. Leave me alone. I am tired from lying to everyone for tonight."

Aki walked to her room in her slippers, looking clearly unapologetic of what had occurred in the hotel. Koichi was unexpectedly affected by the fact Choi Watanabe and Kippei Ebihara know her. The little business venture Koichi had been chasing after ended up in shambles before it was even lit on fire. Even though Aki and Kippei weren't able to talk about the little interview, she managed to exchange her calling card with his when Koichi went to the bathroom. Choi had been mum about his heated discussion with Koichi, making Aki even more curious. She couldn't wait for Monday. Koichi on the other hand, was fuming and angry since Choi didn't close a deal with him. Something must have happened and Aki couldn't resist the urge in knowing what it was.

Koichi watched from the doorway of her room as she removed her jewelry.

"You enjoyed having those two men pay attention to you. You're so cheap; didn't you notice my other partners looking on?", he asked menacingly. "My wife enjoying the attention of men who isn't her husband. How could you be so shallow!"

Aki rolled her eyes as she put her earrings back in their case. She knew what Koichi meant and secretly admitted she was happy that happened. That was payback for Ai Yashida's shameless attitude towards her. He didn't even stand up for her from that woman, of course she'd want to get away from her. It was like she was fighting her battle on her own. It was like she didn't have a husband to begin with. Koichi acted as if he didn't have a wife. Now that Aki was aware of that, the feeling of dread caught on. Choi must really know something. However, she cannot point fingers and accuse anyone without seeing it for herself.

"Everyone in that room had eyes. And I do have work to discuss with Kippei considering my next article," she answered him nonchalantly as she zipped down the side of her dress. "And come on, my interaction is nothing compared to how friendly you and Ai Yashida were, Koichi. I wasn't touchy-feely with them unlike she was with you. And for someone who is married? Come on, have YOU no shame?"

Koichi scowled and looked as if Aki had hit a tender spot. Aki stopped and looked back at Koichi. Their eyes met and it was then Aki remember Choi's words.

"Come to think of it, the way she talks to you? It's as if you knew each other well before you and I got married. She was so familiar with you. Would you just be honest and just quit with the lies? That'll really be helpful between us."

Koichi didn't budge but looked completely disinterested. He avoided meeting her eyes, looking at the side instead.

"You don't know anything. You don't know what you are talking about. Coming up with such things... You're just unreasonably drunk," he said. "You're not only cheap and shallow, you're also an alcoholic. What else don't I know about you, Aki? What other bombs are you gonna drop on me next time?"

Koichi left her without even closing her door. Aki only stood in front of her dresser in her underwear, a single tear rolling down her cheek. Looking at her mirror, she bit her lip, the anger burning in her eyes raging as she thought of Koichi and Ai earlier on. Now she's being accused as cheap, shallow and alcoholic? What gall.

It was a night of lies, and even though that fact rested so well within her heart, she also couldn't bear believe to have met such a woman so shameless and brazen. Remembering Ai Yashida's knowing smile, Aki felt her skin break and goosebumps. Then, she was able to imagine her and Koichi with clothes off and legs intertwined, with him humping the daylights out of her. Aki closed her eyes and opened them once more to dispel the image. It only did little.

"I wasn't even drunk...", she muttered to herself as she changed into her pajamas.

Aki distracted herself by putting her dress in the hamper, closing her door and putting her purse on the dresser. It was then she saw Kippei's card between her makeup bag and her wallet. Taking it out she looked at his name and felt the smoothly detailed card between her fingers. There was a subtle trace of his cologne, making her sniff it a little and she can only think back to when they met in the hallway when she and Koichi fought.

She remembered how warm and comforting his hand was.

* * *

Aki was having her break with Yahiko by the lounge. She was still extremely upset about the whole dinner fiasco and her mind was just not letting go of what had happened. It's almost been a week, and still it was fresh within her, making her sigh all day. She told Yahiko the sequence of events that moment, and he can only grimace the more annoying the events got.

"He's got some balls to even say such crap to you. I don't understand, Aki.. But really, what the fuck," he said, slurping his ramen. "Seriously though, that man's got issues. I have to say, when he didn't kiss you on the lips during your wedding, I knew there was already something wrong. If it were me, I'd have indecently touched you on the spot."

Aki sighed heavily. True, even she had that notion. Not kissing your spouse on the lips even though you've already exchanged rings and said 'I Do' is just odd. Not to mention the one year dry spell that was abundant. Now it made her wonder how Koichi was holding up. Thinking back, Choi did insinuate an affair, but even though Aki was up to her neck with suspicion, there was no proof. It was simple to just allege someone, and she hasn't seen Koichi do something. But really, did she really want to see him do something she will never be prepared to see?

"Really, no decency in you, pervert Kunori."

Aki and Yahiko looked up to see Choi coming their way from the vendo machine. He was his usual stoic self and he seemed to just come from his office.

"Hey hermit crab," said Yahiko.

Choi just glanced at Yahiko and turned his gaze to Aki. "You seem pretty down. Is it because of your assignment with Ebihara?"

Aki gripped her tea in her cup and didn't say anything as she stared into the liquid. Even though she was also having problems in that aspect, her issue with her husband is more important. It was driving her nuts that she knew nothing and people around her do. Well, there's Yahiko who doesn't know anything as well so she's not alone.

"Choi, I hope you don't mind but Aki told me what happened during the hotel dinner. Frankly, I am not one to butt in but-"

Choi raised an eyebrow at Yahiko. "Not butting in, huh. What a strange proclamation, Kunori. Look, can I talk to Aki for five minutes alone? Well...", Choi glanced at Aki who looked unconcerned about the two of them. She was borderline grave. "Well, since she'll be telling you anyway, might as well have you here to be informed just in case."

"Tell me what?", asked Aki, looking up, a dreadful expression on her face, her color fading from her cheeks.

There were nerves and a bad case of sweaty palms unfolding now, with Aki's heart beating heavily in her chest. How Choi semi-softened his usually uncaring gaze made her even more anxious. With her stomach dropping and her head finally aching, it was a bad sign as it just was surely going to end up in devastation. Beside her, Yahiko placed his ramen down and took a deep breath. She did the same too.

"Choi, if you know something, please,"

Choi sipped his coffee and adjusted his glasses. He took a while before speaking until Aki placed her hand on his as assurance. He met her reassuring gaze adorned with a sad smile. With a deep breath, the bomb was dropped.

"Your husband has been having an affair."

"DUDE YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST SUGARCOATED IT A BIT!", cried Yahiko. "Damn it Choi you're just as heartless as a rock."

"Shouldn't you be by your desk now and doing what I asked you to do?"

"I'm here for moral support, hermit!"

Bowing her head, Aki closed her eyes. She tried to hide the tears that wanted to escape but she won; her hand shaking from the revelation. She took several deep breaths and lifted her head to face Choi while Yahiko rubbed her back gently. The silence among them was awkward and stifling.

"With... with that woman?", she asked in a weak voice.

Choi was poker-faced as he nodded. And the bomb is now detonated and blew up in Aki's face.

"I was in a business meeting with my father and before your husband came, he let slip to me that Ai Yashida has been making rounds with his business partners. From what I was told, my father saw them in the act during one event. He didn't say how or where but that's what he said and I didn't want to know." Choi glanced at Aki once more as if to check if she was okay. Seeing she still was alright and not close to breaking down, he continued. "I remember meeting your husband one evening during a cocktail event for our brewery and heard for myself what he and Mrs. Yashida were talking about. If he was out one weekend and didn't come home until Sunday, well, they were together in Kyoto, just so you know. Apparently, Ai Yashida is a real gold-digger and is having extra-marital affairs with men her age since her husband is taken fresh from the Cretaceous era. She married him for the money, but she's been seeing your husband even before you two got married."

Aki felt nauseous. The information was too much and her mind was just going haywire from trying to comprehend what she can. There was a weekend where in Kpichi didn't come home. He said it was a business trip but to a hot spring? No convention nor summit to host the trip? Aki felt so dumb, so stupid and so devastated. The clues were all in her face but she failed to see it. She sipped her tea calmly and her mind went blank. She was hurt and could possibly be suffering a heart attack without even knowing, but surprisingly, she was still mellow and not wailing out and cursing the living daylights out of Koichi.

Yahiko just stared at his ramen while Choi drank his drink. Both of them couldn't handle the situation since Aki wasn't reacting like they had predicted.

"Aki, if you want to drink, I'll drink with you," said Choi.

Yahiko nodded. He raised his hand and said, "I second the motion. We can't really be doing anything stupid now, can we? You have an ace, Aki."

"Yahiko is right. Keep that to your advantage and do what's best for you. I'll be off around 6 so I'll go ahead and reserve a table in the usual?"

Aki nodded. "That would be good, guys."

"But really Aki... What're you thinking? How're you feeling?", asked Choi, his voice softening as he placed a hand on Aki's. "Don't kill yourself in the restrooms or jump off the terrace. If you have to kill Koichi, call me up so we can help dispose of the body. We can dissolve Koichi's corpse in acid in your bathtub or we can just throw him by the bay."

"I'll come too to be the lookout and to be the driver for the getaway car," chimed Yahiko, patting her head. "I can drive pretty fast and did take that racing class with a side of drifting."

What was she feeling, really? Truth be told, nothing. There was too much pain to be comprehended that her brain couldn't push on and convert it to the form of pain that was proper for that situation. Aki was strangely complacent and serene, as if she was walking on air. She glanced at Choi and Yahiko, giving both of them a grin.

"You psychopaths... Drinks will be fine, okay?", she assured them. "But not tonight, I have to go home and do the laundry. Make it Friday night."

Maybe the fact that it was so painful hasn't really sunk in yet.

* * *

Aki looked up at the posh building she was supposed to go to and marveled how intricately designed it was. It was what you'd expect a design firm to be. Granite gray facade with a cream marble interior decorated with lively walls and furniture for that splash of color.

"Huh... so this is his office...", she muttered, holding Kippei's calling card in her hands. She saw her reflection on the glass swing doors. She just had a haircut and though it was shorter now, she liked having a sexy pixie-cut ala Ga In Son from Brown Eyed Girls in the 'Abracadabra' MV. It emphasized her neck and her cheekbones, making Aki feel sexier as she wore her black sleeveless chiffon top over cream cigarette pants and patent black pumps. With pearls to top the look off and a red blazer, she was confident and pretty happy with her ensemble. It was a change for her to forget the recent information Choi shared with her. Maybe Koichi would think twice once he sees her later on that evening. Who knows, looks can be quite changing too. "Looks pretty lax on a Friday.."

She had finished her side article before lunch and called him up to schedule their first interview and was surprised that he was actually free to accommodate her in his own time. Being the five-year winner of Best Designer award, she figured maybe he was too busy and would eventually let go of her arrangement to interview him. Somehow, the fact he said yes took her mind of things and Aki could only thank him in her mind as she went in his office. The receptionist glanced up as she came in and gaped as she saw her.

"Oh, good morning.. I'm here for Mr. Ebihara," Aki said, bowing a little to pay respect.

The receptionist smiled at her and said, "You must be Ms. Aki Gojo? You're quite popular here in our office since you've been photographed with Mr. Ebihara."

Aki was handed their magazine and as she turned to the page, saw herself, Choi and Kippei talking candidly in their shot. Her eyes went immediately to Kippei who was looking at her in the photo with a very sexy smile while she smiled at hi daintily too. It made her a little warm within, but immediately shook the feeling off when her eyes darted to Choi, who didn't seem happy to be there.

"Your haircut suits you Ms. Gojo," said the receptionist. She pushed on a button and lifted the receiver of her phone. "Yes, Mr. Ebihara, Ms. Gojo is here by the front desk. Uh huh, okay, I'll tell her." She put the phone down and smiled at Aki. "You may go in. It's a bit messy inside, but I guarantee you it's because it's Friday."

Aki thanked the receptionist and went into the interior offices where in she couldn't believe the mess that unveiled before her. The cubicles of the employees were messy, with schematics and presentations toppling on each other. People looked completely harassed and all seemed to be catching up on deadlines that they feared they couldn't meet. She passed by conference rooms and saw Shohei Aiba, Yahiko's friend conducting a presentation. When their eyes met, he sneaked a little wave then proceeded on. She turned into a hallway and bumped into someone, however, hot coffee spilled on her chest making her yelp. Wearing a chiffon button-down blouse wasn't really good to wear that day.

"You need to watch where you going! Really, you don't take the whole left side and just go along and- Ms. Gojo? Is that you?"

Aki looked up into the dark, mysterious eyes of Kippei Ebihara. Immediately she bowed to him.

"I'm so sorry for bumping into you! How careless of me!", she apologized. The hot coffee turned her skin red and she remembered she wasn't able to bring a handkerchief. "Ah great. Just great."

Kippei looked behind her and took her hand. "Follow me."

Inside, Akira didn't want to take off her jacket and her chiffon top. It will only leave her with her black tank top on. Good thing she paired it with her black chiffon blouse, at least the coffee stain isn't obvious.

Kippei put his coffee on his table and handed her his handkerchief as he sat down on his seat.

"I must be the one to apologize, Ms. Gojo. I can't really do much but let you borrow my handkerchief again," said Kippei as he gazed at Aki. "By the way, your hair looks very nice on you."

Aki looked up, meeting his eyes and felt herself grow warm in the face. "O-Oh... Thanks, Mr. Ebihara.. Getting bored with my hair, I guess," she answered him shyly, taking his handkerchief and started to wipe on where the coffee spilled on her. "Ow.. I must have been burned or something. My skin feels pretty hot."

Kippei stood up without saying a word and went out of his office. Aki wondered why but simply shrugged it off that maybe he noticed that she needed to fix herself. Her skin got pretty red from the coffee and it could be a minor burn. Aki took off her blazer and her chiffon blouse, leaving only her tank top on. She saw his bathroom and went over to run the spot on her jacket under the tap to wet it a bit and flush some of the coffee. She heard his office door and was about to go out of the bathroom in haste, when Kippei saw her looking quite frazzled, holding her jacket under the faucet. He was holding a canned drink in his hand which still had some ice on it.

Aki turned off the tap and went back to where she sat, pressing the handkerchief together with her jacket in between. "I'm so sorry, Mr. Ebihara. I just couldn't resist wetting my jacket a bit before the coffee dried on it. I'll be fine though so please-"

Kippei didn't say anything and sat on the chair before her and put the canned drink on her skin where the coffee spilled. Aki froze, her amber eyes lifting up slowly into Kippei's gaze. She felt the coldness of the can seep in her skin and make its' way to her heart. It soothed the burning sensation she felt and even the pain that was in her, but Aki couldn't contain herself. She took the can, placing her hand on Kippei's whilst not breaking their gaze.

"Let me be the one to hold that," she muttered feebly.

"Be my guest."

He stood up and went back to his seat across the table from her. Kippei then answered a phone call and signaled for her that he'll just be three minutes off. Aki nodded quietly as she held the can to her heart, her ears enjoying listening to the deep lull of his voice.

If only he didn't take that phone call, it'll be easier on Aki since her mind was now going back to what Choi had said. Really? Should she believe him? Was it easier vouching for the things other people say rather than seeing it with her own eyes? It wasn't easier and it won't be easier now considering it was so hard not being able to get it off her chest with Koichi currently under her suspicion for adultery. Aki didn't want to believe it, didn't want to accept it; but recalling the late night business meetings/dinners/trips/whatevers, the unplanned and mysterious excursions and Koichi's aloof and cruel attitude towards her make it seem so possible. Put in line Choi and his own father witnessing first hand the affair and Ai Yashida's googly-eyed stare at Koichi during the party added more to the allegation. Even though Aki was extremely angry and very hurt with that possibility, she held on to their vow of marriage, trust, fidelity and loyalty and that Koichi is still 'innocent until proven guilty'.

Aki's aura was pretty ominous, her amber eyes turning opaque at the thought of Koichi and Ai Yashida again in each other's arms, doing the things she no longer wanted to imagine but failed at it miserably as the images kept popping up, making her strangely nauseous.

"Aki?"

"Yes?", she answered quickly, looking back at Kippei who was now leaning on his table, an arm stretched to her. She felt his warm hand on her shoulder.

Aki then realized now that Kippei was no longer on the phone. Once Kippei noticed she was back to herself again, he retracted his arm and placed them professionally on the table.

"S-Sorry... I must have slipped in a daze," she apologized, giving him a wry smile. "Anyway, would you be kind enough to brief me on the things that I should and shouldn't ask you about before we conduct the interview proper?"

Kippei stared at her for a while and sighed.

"I don't really like being asked about personal things however, I should be the one asking you what are your limits?", Kippei had an unusual tone to him. Leaning back on his chair, put both arms on his armrest and tilted his head as he looked at her longer.

"Limits? My limits?" Aki didn't understand. She was inwardly wishing this wasn't some Fifty Shades of Gray shit. She did read that and it fried her brain with the hard limits and anal beads.

Kippei thought for a moment. With a mysterious, seductive gleam in his eye, he then asked Aki, "I mean how far would you go for your story?"


	5. Chapter 5

"I asked how far you'd go for your story."

Aki blinked several times and thought for a moment. It was a trick question that was to be answered intelligently or else she'd have botched her interview before it even began. She snuck a glance at Kippei and regretted it since his eyes were just locked on her as he waited for her answer.

"Well?", he asked again.

"I'd go through all the right lengths to get your story, sir. If I have to go tag along, I will, just as long as it's within work hours,", she answered, nonchalantly brushing it off. There was no reason to make a big deal out of this article, right? "On the other hand, I could just pester you since you're in 2B if I need more material."

Kippei's lip lazily curled to one side, a little scoff escaping his throat. "I'd gladly prefer it during work hours.. And I wouldn't want to disrupt you when you're at home."

Aki laughed a little as she sighed. "Hardly. I am all alone most of the time and doing my work there so it's like I never left the office," she replied.

Kippei didn't say anything and just typed something on his computer. All of the sudden, there was a buzzing sound near Akira which turned out to be the printer. He reached over and took the printed paper and handed it to Akira while another one was on the way. Looking at the paper, Akira saw it was from Excel which consisted of times, dates and places; even names of people she didn't know.

"Is this your schedule?", she asked Kippei as she looked it over.

Kippei took his own printed copy and nodded. "Yes. As you can see, I have lots of appointments, Ms. Gojo. If you do want to maximize your article, I would gladly have you see me do my job to get a better feel of what you are going to write about." His gaze turned steely and condescending. "Just as long as you don't get in my way. I don't want to bring along a nuisance. I'd like to also suggest you learn design jargon so you don't sound like an idiot in your article."

Aki simply nodded and didn't even feel a bit offended. She was already expecting that reaction from him. "Of course, Mr. Ebihara, I understand. I'll do what I can to not hinder you from your duties. I do however would want to remind you that being in my position entitles me to proofread facts and ask you if I don't feel satisfied with MY job."

Kippei nodded, although he looked a little uneasy with that. "Fine, but don't ask anything meager, redundant nor obvious," he said.

Aki shrugged her answer. "Of course.. as long as we understand each other, Mr. Ebihara," she answered him.

Kippei's stare softened. "How's the... well, your chest?"

"Still pretty sore but it's alright. Don't worry about it. I won't die from this," replied Aki. She put her finger on it and grimaced. "Your coffee must've been scalding hot, Mr. Ebihara. My skin's now raw from the little accident."

"I am so sorry about that.. really...", said Kippei, looking partly guilty. "Now that I remember, your husband might get pissed at me for this."

Aki glanced at Kippei. There was a sad smile on her lips as she patted his arm and shook her head as if to tell him it's okay.

"Mr. Ebihara... My husband.. He won't mind this at all."

"What? You mean, you'd lie to him about-"

"No...", Aki's eyes wandered lower to his desk. "He won't mind at all.. There's no other meaning to that," she answered him, a reassuring smile on her lips. "I'll bet you ten thousand yen he won't even care about my haircut. Don't worry, okay? There is nothing to worry about."

Kippei was quiet after what Aki told him. She, on the other hand, started to put back her chiffon blouse on. They didn't say a word to each other, but both were aware of what was the underlying meaning to that.

"Your husband... What did he say when he found out you and I will be working together?", asked Kippei.

Aki thought for a moment then said, "Well, I can only tell you he wasn't at all please, but I know that's just a front." She smiled at Kippei to mask the stress she was starting to feel now that Koichi was being taken into account. "And Mr. Ebihara, shouldn't we be out of our personal lives during work hours?"

She slipped Kippei's schedule in her file case.

"Are you sure you still want to do this? Your article with me, no matter how prestigious your award will be, is not worth the domestic dispute."

Kippei met Aki's eyes with a hard, curious stare that asked the same question. What else can she do anyway? If she doesn't busy herself up she might go ballistic from the fact her husband was having an affair. It's not that she wasn't thankful for Kippei thinking about Koichi's feelings but there is no need to do so when as his wife she minds him, but he doesn't care at all. Not even a sliver.

"Mr. Ebihara, my marital issues don't concern you, okay? Believe me when I say my husband doesn't need to know since he doesn't really mind. I would want to do this for the award since I am trusted hugely by my boss and all my other officemates to bag the award. If I wasn't serious in stressing that I want to pursue this, I would've given up on this and wallowed about my life while I am here talking to you."

"I understand but do you think you can perform your best and make a good article knowing you and your husband are not okay?"

Aki was having none of this talk anymore as it was thoroughly affecting her in ways she didn't like. Even with her article, Koichi controls it; his preferences and everything else rested on him. She felt so subdued and depressed that she cannot be given freedom to pursue this. She knew Kippei was just being considerate, but he could've at least trusted her with what she wanted to do.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Ebihara, but it seems you are uncomfortable with me doing your interview." Aki got up and slung her purse on her shoulder and she just held her jacket in one hand. "Maybe it's best I'll have another officemate of mine conduct the interview and I will just write it from there. Good day and sorry for the interruption," she said to Kippei irritatedly as she bowed to him and made her way to the door.

Seriously.

People can't just leave her alone. Everything she does has to always be considered by others and based on others? Can't they all just let her do what she can and just criticize and question her after? Koichi's parents, her bosses, her own colleagues and now Kippei? There was just too much hindrance and limitation around her that kept her from growing as a person and the information that her husband was having a delicious affair made Aki more and more agitated. She can't be free to do what she wanted, to flourish as an individual and be recognized apart from her husband. She has her own dreams and happiness to fulfill too, why can't anyone see that?

Aki felt a sharp tug on her wrist and found herself unable to take another step further.

"Aki, I don't frankly give a shit towards your husband."

Turning back, Aki looked at Kippei with her amber eyes going wide.

"You called me by my name..", she muttered.

Kippei's hand around her wrist felt warm yet firm. His eyes were locked on hers and she didn't even hear his seat scrape the floor nor any other sound that could tell her he wanted to stop her. Aki wished he did want to stop her from leaving. That was the only thing that could make her stop herself from breaking down. It was her only source of integrity; someone stopping her from leaving.

"And I will be calling you that from here on." He loosened his grip and sighed; the professional gleam in his eye returning once more. "Look, I'm more concerned about you doing this. I don't care what's going on in your life and your husband, but I am just sincere in having yourself be at your best."

Kippei let her wrist go, with Aki holding where he held her with her other hand; quite surprised at how kind Kippei was. He barely smiled and always talked so professionally that it made her wonder what else could he be capable of showing in terms of emotion.

Wait. Why was she curious?

"After talking to Choi Watanabe several times with regards to this matter, he told me to give your interview a shot. I am not one to do so since I hate journalists and your industry. No offense, but after having read some articles which you wrote, I thought you were pretty... articulate and genuine."

Aki didn't say anything but just let Kippei speak. Her eyes didn't leave his. How he spoke to her, it was as if he knew what was going on. Well, did he?

"I mean, you had me locked on word for word and how you described places, talked about moments and retold your experiences made me realize that maybe people need to understand what designing is from a layman's point of view. It's not just picking a color or finding the right furniture to put a space together; no. It's a journey... and of course, a chance to find out more about yourself along the way and the type of people around you."

Kippei's features softened, his handsome face somehow giving Aki a smile of determination.

"I want you to find yourself, and I do want the same thing for me. Not just because this is our job, but because as a person, you need to be stronger in dealing with obstacles that hinder you from being happy. Sometimes, you need to ask help and assistance."

Aki wasn't sure where Kippei was leading off to now, but somehow, something in her heart seemed to understand him. She nodded in silence, urging him to go on. She then realized that this isn't just some self-help mutual work thing. Kippei should have some form of ulterior motive behind agreeing to this. To her, he didn't look like someone who'd concede to anything nonsensical and trivial like interviews when he could be doing his job and not wasting time talking about sentiments.

"So, what form of help do you need me for?", she asked quite bluntly. Aki's eyes gave off a searching glint that bore into Kippei's. "Of course I am aware that this isn't only a one-way thing. Don't be cautious, I'm not offended and won't be offended regardless of whatever motive you have for agreeing to this interview."

Her tone was hard and pretty straightforward. Kippei, however, didn't budge. He was still... himself; looking particularly unfazed with what Aki has blatantly pointed out.

"Now isn't really the time to talk about what I actually want from you," he answered her nonchalantly. "I have no deadline in a month to meet unlike you do. You need me first before I need you, so I'll be cooperative with you and give you what you want and in return, you need to play by my rules and give me what I need when the time comes."

Aki and Kippei stared at each other for a minute.

"Suit yourself, Kippei. You don't mind if I call you that?"

Aki placed her hand on the doorknob and looked back at him, obviously annoyed but perfectly understood what their agreement was.

"After all, we're on first name basis now, right?", she asked. After giving him a glance, she left his office.

Along with the stinging pain of the semi-burn on her chest, was also the crumbling of her ego. At least now she knows that even though Kippei did want something from her, at least he stopped her from walking out on him.

However, did she really want something else, like another reason why he should stop her?

* * *

No 'Welcome home, honey', nor any warm greet to meet her as she stepped in the apartment. Aki took off her shoes and placed them in her shoe cabinet as she slipped on her bedroom slippers. She saw several more pairs of shoes below the rack and heard herself groan as she knew Koichi's parents were there. There was no mistaking his father's boat shoes and her mother's 'getas' which she always wore with a kimono. She sighed, closing her eyes for a while as she knew the night was headed her a titanic disaster.

"Aki, is that you?", came a shrill call from none other than Koichi's mother.

"Who the fucking else would it be, mother..", she grumbled to herself first before answering her. "Yes ma'am, it's me."

She came in the living room and saw the three of them seated on the sofa. Koichi stood up and surprisingly gave her a gentle peck on the cheek which Aki froze to. She knew it was just a ploy to establish the 'married bliss' but, who was going to believe it when the kiss lacked any form of love and affection? Koichi tutted under his breath and did it again, more forceful this time and Aki had no choice but to do the same. He led her to sit with them, with Koichi planting her beside him as they faced Sachie, his mother and Tetsuo, his father.

"What kind of woman comes home after her husband and does not even prepare any food for him to eat?", asked Sachie pointedly, her eyes lashing daggers at Aki. "It's already 9PM, Aki. You're no longer single, mind you. You're a married woman and you keep yourself irresponsibly busy."

Aki couldn't say anything against Koichi's mother. All she can do was just take in the blows and swallow her pride just so things can quicken their pace and go to the part where his parents can leave soon. With her head bowed, all she looked at was her own hands on her lap.

Sachie glared at her and said, "Your job has done nothing but impede your part as a wife to my son! Aren't you satisfied with the money he makes that you selfishly take a job and not think about raising a family?"

"Mom, please," Koichi placed a hand on Aki's. He wasn't even aware how bewilderedly Aki cast a side glance at him. "I respect her decision. If she wants to work, then it's fine with me."

Aki couldn't help but think that he did want her to work just so he can go on and cavort with whoever he wants or still prolong his affair with Ai Yashida. She wanted to move her hands away from Koichi's touch since it burned her from all the lies he was keeping. And come on, surely those hands has been on and in places that isn't Aki's body, right? She cringed at the heat of his skin, making her skin break out in goosebumps that made her nauseous.

Sachie glared at Koichi, while her husband, Tetsuo sighed genially.

"Sachie, honey, I know how much you want to have grandchildren, but really, you should take into consideration Aki's current situation! I had heard that she's nominated for a very prestigious award!", Tetsuo turned to Aki and smiled kindly. "So, what will it be this year, child?"

Aki cleared her throat feebly, as she tried to pry her hands away from Koichi's but he now held them, their fingers interlacing. She couldn't answer as she didn't want to hold his hand, the disgust of the images in her mind playing like a film without sound.

"Not only are you irresponsible, you're also so slow!"

Sachie crossed her arms on her chest, her disapproval evident on her wrinkled features. There was a severe disliking stare that was focused on Aki, and she can only look down at Koichi's hand that held hers.

"It's the Writer's Quill, sir. I am currently doing an article about some designer and-"

"Well, no one really will have time to read something that insipid and meaningless!", retorted Sachie. "Do you think this Japanese society in this day and age will want to read something so thoughtless and stupid? How wasteful of you, Aki. You delve in things that don't really mean anything and delay your duties in being a wife."

It was so painful. Not only was she being betrayed by her husband, she was also being questioned in terms of her responsibilities and person. The world was coming to full disaster and Aki was close to bursting as she tried not to cry in the presence of her in-laws. Since when were people wanting to dictate what they want on her? She has her own life and self to put first, right? Why is she now being limited and caged to suffer on her own and not even bother be given the chance to improve and flourish as an individual?

"You should be thankful my son is still staying with someone like you," said Sachie coldly.

Aki's common sense snapped. All she saw was red.

"Someone... like _me_? What do you mean by that?", she asked in a quiet voice.

There was a tortured look on her face that showed broken tolerance as she slowly lifted her gaze up to meet with Sachie's. Aki couldn't talk for a while, trying to control herself from saying anything that could possibly hurt her in-law, but she was too filled up to the brim with insults and criticism from her. Sachie looked down on her too much and expressed her disapproval of Aki keeping her job. Now she's just being too personal and insensitive about the whole thing. In Aki's mind she was already shrieking profanities at them, her heart not being able to control the hurried beating as she swallowed every bit of condescending remark thrown at her. Aki bit her lip and was about to speak her mind and there wasn't really anything good going to come out from it, when Koichi's hand held hers tighter all of a sudden.

"I don't mean to be disrespectful, mother, but I don't want you talking to my wife like that," he pointed out.

Aki turned her head to Koichi. He had a tiny scowl that she's never seen before and Aki was not sure how to feel. Sachie's eyes latched onto her son's and the two glared at each other for a moment until the mother sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes and laughing insultingly.

"How you can stomach such a woman, I don't know, Koichi. But be my guest. There is nothing really to talk about when my own son defies what his own mother is saying." Sachie stood up and beckoned for her husband to follow. "I'll see you next week and hope to hear something good and worthwhile to listen to."

Tetsuo sighed and pacified his wife by saying, "Honey, you are too harsh on Aki. Shouldn't you be on her side and helping her be better and prepare as a mother?"

"She's not worth the help if she's not even willing. Let's go. I am not sure I can last another minute here with the disappointment in the apartment."

After both the elder Natsukawas left, Aki stood up and proceeded to her room. Her mind was a blur and she just felt so angry that Koichi's mother AGAIN berated her for being her own person. Before she could even step inside her room, she felt herself get embraced tightly from behind, her eyes going wide as she saw Koichi's arms around her waist. Both were quiet, with Aki getting confused over everything that was happening.

"Sorry. Mother is just really a bitch at times," he whispered to her. "Don't mind what she said just as long as you are happy with what you are doing."

Aki couldn't look at the positive message in Koichi's sentence. She can only picture him saying it because it just meant she'll be distracted enough to keep her from confronting him about the alleged affair she's come to know. She sighed deeply and face Koichi, only to be met with a fiery kiss that sent her falling to her bed as Koichi forced himself on her. She tasted alcohol in his saliva and tasted it on his breath, making her look away as she felt him now feeling her body through her clothes. He was getting rough, and Aki secretly admitted she wanted him to fuck her, but it felt so wrong with the thought of an affair tarnishing the mood. Even though what he was doing felt so good and was making her want the sex more, Aki fought through it and didn't want to push on knowing there is indeed something going on which needed to be talked about.

"K-Koichi- wait-"

"I can't wait. I want you right now," was Koichi's answer as he now kissed her neck and squeezed her ass as he stroked her body.

She tried to push him off her, but Koichi was just too in-the-moment, bringing his hands up her thighs as his nails lightly grazed the fabric. His tongue forced open her mouth, finding hers and swirling within. Koichi was letting out breathy moans as he parted her thighs with his knee and slipped under her blouse his hand that palmed her breast wantingly. The lascivious start of what was supposedly a torrid session of sex ended with Aki gathering all her strength and pushing Koichi to the side when he moaned 'Ai' instead of her name. Koichi was bleary-eyed with a hangover paired with lust as he just stared at Aki confused. He reached for her again, but Aki just swatted his hand away.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?", asked Koichi angrily, sitting up on the edge of her bed. "I have a damn erection and you won't let me exercise my right as a man on you!"

Aki stood up and arranged her disheveled clothes. She looked at Koichi with disbelief and shook her head.

"What's wrong with me? Koichi- you moaned another woman's name in my mouth!", she cried, running a hand through her hair. "Do you... do you even notice ANYTHING new about me right now?"

She watched him eye her but her heart sank as he didn't say anything and just continued searching for anything new about her.

"Nothing?", she asked again.

Koichi shrugged, confusion in his eyes along with disappointment that he wasn't going to be lucky in bed tonight. Aki bit her lip and could still taste the wrongful lust in her mouth. She wiped her lips with the back on her hand and sighed.

"I had my haircut today...", she muttered. "Having you notice it... it actually matters to me because I was trying my best to look good for you..."

"Your condition for sex is if I noticed your stupid haircut?", Koichi stared bewilderedly at her and laughed coldly as he stood up. He looked at her loathingly and scoffed, walking past her as he headed to the door. "Having a haircut doesn't really need to be noticed and pointed out, Aki. What makes you think I'd even take my time noticing what you do to yourself? You're already married to me so whatever you do to yourself doesn't really concern me as long as you stay dutiful and mind your own business."

"Koichi... why? Why do you even act this way towards me?", Aki asked.

It wasn't a pleading question, but she just really wanted to know why Koichi was being such a tool. She didn't want to know the answer but she had no choice. Her sanity, her overall stability and heart are affected and it's already taking a bad toll on her. The sleepless nights, the aggravation... Aki was no saint to handle all of the coldness and horridness the world was showering on her. Her husband was being stupid, difficult and downright deceptive and it was just rightful to know why so she can cope and be strong enough to handle more just for the sake of their marriage. All the lies, the cruelty and brazenness has got to stop somewhere.

"Because I can and I want to." That was just Koichi's simple answer which made Aki pale. "It's that simple, really. I don't need to be emotionally attached to you to fuck you or anything. You think marriage is something so sacred? This is just a mere transaction to me. I'm just preserving my status as a man with a very credible reputation. I am used to getting what I want, Aki. Whether it's money, properties and even manipulation of people; I have the capacity and ability to monopolize everything around me just to get ahead."

Aki was speechless at her husband's candor.

"I don't care about your feelings. I just care about your last name and the benefits I will get marrying you. You have a luxurious apartment, can keep the lifestyle you like and go anywhere without having to worry about financial stability... what more can you ask more from me?", Koichi cockily said.

"Don't you love me?"

"Love? Love is something that doesn't really interest me. It won't get me anywhere ahead in my job, plus it's a messy piece of baggage most especially when it all comes to the downtime. I am with you for a reason, but love is not really that worth the priority. Loving someone means sacrificing and that I cannot do most especially when you want to be happy in your job."

"But we're married and we're supposed to love each other and be together no matter what... and we vowed to love each other."

Aki was now unsure of where she stood, but she knew in her heart that even though it hurt and even though it was difficult hearing Koichi say such ruthless words to her, she had to fight. If not for them, for herself. Koichi was a man she felt that she had to be sorry for, but she wanted to change him and show him that their vows under the eye of God was worth the upkeep. Even though the alleged affair was lingering between them, Aki felt it wasn't the time to bring it up even if she wanted to. No matter the anger, the sorrow and the frustration she had with him, she somehow loved him enough to try to make it work.

Koichi, however, was not really buying it.

"Heh, fuck. My erection's dead and you're just yapping about love and all the bullshit. I don't need this. Go grovel to your girlfriends or whoever you talk to about your haircut. I am not one to notice such stupid things when it wont help me in my job," said Koichi.

As soon as Aki heard the door to her bedroom close, that was when she felt hot tears run down her cheeks.

She might as well have married herself then, if that was the case.


	6. Chapter 6

Aki sat alone in the bar, her tears welling in her eyes as she swigged her beer. She was blankly looking at the display case of the alcohol, recalling what had happened a week earlier when her in-laws came to visit.

How they insulted her.

How her mother-in-law looked at her loathingly and didn't bother be proud of her for being an independent woman suitable for her blockhead of a son.

How Koichi forced himself on her, moaned another woman's name in her mouth as he groped her lasciviously.

She thought he was defending her, but in truth he just spoke against his mother to earn himself a ticket to her womanhood. It didn't make her heat up, but instead made her feel disgusted that she has become his toy just in case Ai Yashida wasn't available. So the affair was slowly coming to fruition, and Aki still couldn't accept it. In her heart, she was still hoping that maybe Koichi was a cold asshole, that maybe he was just really that much of a workaholic; but she knew in time she needed to see the reality. Aki only wondered if she was ready.

The day didn't go well and managed to screw her interview that day with Kippei by first arriving late at his client's workspace. Not only that, she wasn't able to study design jargon that she needed as she was too caught up in the moment of her gloom. She looked horrible, tired, had bags beneath her eyes and her skin was pallid. She looked almost sick and frail that Kippei, out of annoyance, told her to just go home and reschedule the interview since she wasn't at par with his momentum. Aki was just dragging him down. She understood this, and even though her ego was sent to its' knees, she no longer wanted to be a nuisance and ate her words as she gathered her things and left the book cafe Kippei was working on close to tears. Kippei did look concerned, and he did stop her since it was raining quite hard that hour; but she just went on, not bothering to turn back when she heard her name and felt his hand around her wrist. She only met his dark eyes that was quite taken aback, and Aki only smiled back to mask her aching heart and bruised ego. After she gave him a bow, all she did was go out into the rain, leaving her umbrella behind and let herself get soaked by the rain to hide her tears.

She felt so ashamed, so lost; that she wasn't sure if the award was now worth it for her when the one who should be by her side wasn't really supportive of her. Koichi was just someone she lived with, not her husband and she was just a lodger in their apartment. She was reduced to a maid, to a mere servant who kept the house clean and cooked food which was barely enjoyed. Her heart was in the right place, with her mind telling her to take it all in because Koichi can and might change someday, but Aki was running out of time and she was close to bursting. If he was really having an affair...

...why?

That was all she could ask herself.

Of all the things she could list about herself that was good and promising, she couldn't understand how Koichi made her feel so shitty and unwanted. If only she could slap to his face how she was being eyed at their dinner, how men stared and took double-takes at her when she passed by, how he was lucky to have such a woman of independence and self-reliance who didn't bother depend on him too much, that she was being nominated for a very prestigious award in all of Japan...

Aki was beautiful, smart, caring, independent and strong; even though at times she was complicated and insensitive, sometimes borderline too immersed in work, but she never once forgot about her duties as his wife and always made sure she was home to welcome him home and always made sure to let him know if she was going to be late.

She was considerate of him, careful and did her best to serve him, but what did she get in return?

It wasn't even nothing.

All she got was his indifference, his lies and his cruelty.

But the shitty part was she was still there to stomach his absurd behavior and absorb all the pain on her own without bothering to reach out since he was always to busy and not really interested in anything about her.

Aki married Koichi and she had to stick through it until the day she died. That was a long ass time unless she commits suicide, but that is not an option.

The saddest part about this was Aki actually learned to love him through it all even if he only saw through her and nothing more.

What else was there to do when Koichi himself didn't bother learn something about her, didn't care for her and didn't bother giving a shot in loving her?

He didn't love her the way she did.

He didn't bother need her the way she did.

Not even hurt the way she was.

Four beers down and the tears in her eyes now fell, her face scrunching up in a heartbreaking expression. Bowing her head, she quietly cried, not bothering to alarm the people around her as she tried to release what pain she kept in her, but it couldn't alleviate anything. In fact, it made everything worse. There was nothing else to do that moment but try to keep her frame of mind stable to prevent her from doing something radical.

But why was it she felt that maybe doing something so uncanny of her might make Koichi love her?

Aki wiped her tears away as she felt someone sit beside her and felt a hand land gently on top of her head. She heard a sigh which she knew belonged to none other than Choi.

"Idiot. You're not supposed to cry in a bar. People will think you've gone homeless or something."

Aki scoffed a little and replied, "That's better than facing the fact my husband is having an affair, Choi."

Looking up she saw Choi smiling wryly at her, his handsome face glowing kindly beneath the dim spotlight above their heads. He mussed her hair and both of them regained their normal statures, with Choi ordering a beer. As soon as he got his bottle, they clinked bottles and swigged, with Aki giving a heavy sigh afterwards.

"I am surprised to see you here without your idiot sidekick, Kunori. What brings you here aside from your shitty day and the taste of malt?", asked Choi nonchalantly as he eyed her sharply.

Aki blankly checked the contents of her beer bottle and said, "Oh just mulling over how my life has fucking turned for the worse and I am still in love with my husband who only sees me as a speck of dust on the coffee table. What brings YOU here? I know you're supposed to be out with the girl from the finance department, right?"

Choi cleared his throat and shook his head. "It didn't work out. Just found out she was a little too neurotic for my taste. I mean, she saw me talk to you earlier this morning and asked me questions that just made me lose it."

"Questions? Like what?"

"Oh if we were an item before, what I think of you and if ever we hooked up... if I like you, if I courted you before, blah blah blah..", Choi ran a hand through his hair and exasperatedly sighed.

Aki's teary-eyed and sore eyes slightly grow wide with her eyebrows shooting up. "Oh. And what did you say?"

She couldn't help but be curious. After all, Choi was a handsome man who always had a thing for her like Yahiko but due to the fact they worked in the same place, he couldn't even make a move on her even though their families were close. Aki wanted to know what she was to another man to wonder what Koichi could feel if ever he knew what Choi thought.

Choi looked down at the bar counter and smiled. "I told her... that you were beautiful and smart. That you were just too caught up in your parent's wish to marry someone good for you. She didn't like it, but I pressed on and told her how you're always insensitive, but underneath all your prickly layers, you're actually someone who had so much love to give." He gave her a serious stare and said, "I should've made a move on you but since I can't let work and us be in one go, I didn't. I didn't want to ruin my reputation by going after a married woman no matter how noble the reason may be."

Aki couldn't look away from Choi's stare. It was degrading hearing Choi say such wonderful things, only to face the fact she won't be able to be valued like that by her own husband. Hearing say Choi say such things didn't creep her out nor turn her off, but instead made her feel even more depressed.

"Aki, I like you, okay? Even though I think I should've kidnapped you when I found out Koichi was meddling with Ai Yashida's _assets-"_"

"Eww!", grimaced Aki, punching him on the arm. "Don't bring shit like that up, Choi!"

Choi tutted and slapped the top of her hand. "Shut up. As I was saying," His tone became serious once more. "I should've stolen you when I found out he was having an affair. After all, your parents did like me for you that time... it was just me who couldn't since I didn't want you to suffer. But if only I allowed myself and let my heart do what it wants... maybe you won't be crying like this and you'll be the one I am coming home to."

"Choi...", was all she could mutter. She watched him swig his beer and sighed as she did the same.

"But we're friends, just like you and Kunori. It did take time and willpower to accept that, most especially after you got married to that dirtbag. Shithead's completely bonkers for doing something this infuriating to you. But what can we do... I am not one who'd be man enough to handle you, anyway. Koichi certainly isn't a candidate too. Shame you're already tied to him. If you weren't, you'd be one hot commodity."

'What made you say so?"

"You're too strong-willed, gave her all even to those who didn't deserve it, and also you're someone that's too precious to let down. I am not the man for you even if I wanted to be. If I was in a relationship with you, it won't be as harmonious most of the time since I have to exert triple the effort to keep up with someone like you. I'd be reduced to competing with you out of resentment instead of loving you wholeheartedly." Choi nodded in agreeing with what he said. "Aside from that, I am not one who'd handle the fact other men want you badly. I'd rather have a woman throw herself at me than have myself go chase after her."

Aki kept silent as she processed all that Choi said. It felt nice to know Choi was there to shoulder the truth with her since he was the one who knew it before her and even saw it. Choi Watanabe was a man she could've gone for, but it was good they maintained being friends. He cared for her and watched out for her even though she knew of his feelings for her. That didn't get in the way and Aki was happy they were mature enough to handle situations like that without compromising their friendship. Choi's honesty was refreshing and she only patted his arm to thank him for his input on her situation.

"But Aki... I am curious though. Have you told your parents about this?"

Aki snapped her head to looked at Choi with her eyes wide. The thought of it didn't really come to register in her mind and now that it was come to make itself known, she wondered if that actually was a good idea.

"I... haven't.. I don't know, Choi. It will really be a bad turn of events if that happened. Too much business transactions have been made between our families and dropping something like that on my parents will be a cause for mayhem."

Choi tutted and swigged his beer. "Tch, what does it matter? It's Koichi's fault anyway. Tell them, Aki. You'd never know, maybe you could even divorce him for adultery."

The thought was powerful... but it had repercussions.

"Yeah... I'll never know... but I can't just give up on him just like that, Choi. I love him and I want to be there for him when it counts. I did vow before God and you all that I'll be there to love him and stay by his side until death do us part."

Choi slammed his fist on the bar counter and eyed her furiously. "_Love _him? Are you insane? Aki, where the fuck is he now? He's at another woman's side and you two are nowhere near death! What is a vow before God when it's only you who is living it? What makes you think you were in Koichi's mind when he said his vow monotonously and not some business venture he could see himself getting after finally tying you down to him? Until when, Aki? When?"

Aki sure felt stabbed in the heart.

It's been days but it only seemed just like yesterday and it kept replaying in her mind like a Youtube video on loop. Choi was right and she knew it, but it wasn't as easy as Choi imagined. She had to consider EVERYTHING. Her family, his family, their reputations, their futures. She was young and a divorcee already without even lasting two years. There was already so much proof for her to confront Koichi, but she couldn't for fear of hering say the truth and admit what she feared even though it was already there before her. So many times she asked herself what else she needed, if she needed to see Koichi and his woman in action; but Aki can only close her eyes and willed the thought and feeling away as she felt the tears rise to her eyes once more. She was now tipsy and depressed, and was now thinking of going home to an empty apartment.

_That's right... where is Koichi..?, _she asked herself.

Koichi did say he was going to Okinawa for a three-day business meet starting that night. He did pack several night's worth of clothes but when she got the chance to look in his luggage, it wasn't filled with suits and he didn't even bring his laptop. There was even a brochure of a well-known resort tucked inside his clothes with the room rates leaflet peeking out, the presidential suite encircled in red. Aki remembered going to work that morning barely feeling her feet touch the ground as she recalled watching him leave without letting her finish the word 'goodbye'. That alone made her imagine all sorts of rancid scenes with Koichi and Ai in bed, but she just willed it away by keeping herself busy with work until she sabotaged her interview with Kippei.

And so she was at the bar now with Choi and again brought her back to her question earlier.

"You didn't answer my question, Choi. What are you doing here? I know you don't like places like these since you're more of the stay-at-home type of guy who'd rather drink wine by your fireplace," she asked Choi.

Choi didn't bother look at her as he answered, "Kippei and I arranged to meet here tonight because he was pissed at you today for botching your interview." He gave her an annoyed glance and said, "It's chance that I saw you here, Aki. And as your senior in the company, I don't care if your father owns it, but doing a sloppy job when you're considered for a prestigious award is somewhat ungrateful of you. This is your chance to break free from your family name's shadow and you're just being too emotional over everything. Your husband doesn't seem to feel the same and probably now, he's having the time of his life. And you're what? Sulking, getting drunk and passing yourself off as a wreck when you shouldn't be."

Aki couldn't argue to what Choi said as she knew he spoke the awful truth. "I know, Choi. You don't have to rub it in my face.. I just want you to understand that-"

"Understand what? Aki, your own fucking bastard of a husband doesn't even understand what your situation is now. How do you expect the people outside your marriage to feel compassion towards you when he can't even be empathic enough to see how he's making you suffer? Look, I know what you're going through and as much as I hate seeing you like this, I can't also let my emotions take over when it's YOUR article that's up for recognition both here and maybe even, internationally. I can't wallow like you when you need the push to be in your best and peak performance to write something sensational."

Choi huffed and shook his head.

"Think of this instead: I believe in you, so you don't need to doubt me doubting you. The whole company is relying on you to bag the award and we all think you're the best woman for this," he said, but his gaze grew serious as he continued, "And even Kippei, who NEVER agrees to ANY form of interview agreed to do one for you. That in itself is a huge privilege. What else do you need? Your husband's love? Jesus, that will come next time, for now, love yourself first!"

Aki nodded her head and swigged her beer, her eyes locking on the blur of the bartender before them making their drinks. It was nice of Choi to talk some sense into her and she herself agreed to all that he said. She was up for a wonderful award, chosen for the very prestigious position of being nominated. If ever she won, her work about Kippei might be up for an international award too. It was a huge deal and it planted itself now in her heart deeper. There was a surge of determination keeping her from losing herself in a glass case of emotion. Now wasn't the time to bring on the pity party but to bring her balls out to make everyone see she deserved all the recognition tied to her award which she told herself she'll win by hook or by crook. There was a hidden hope for Koichi to see she was an amazing person with her current standing but it was outshadowed by her want to do it for herself. Choi was right, her mind was right and her heart seemed to agree too.

Nothing should stop her from getting that award; affair or no affair.

"You really trust me that much...", she mumbled in awe, placing a hand to her heart and nodding slowly. "And even Kippei?"

"And since when are you two in first-name basis?" asked Choi, a curious tone in his voice. "He doesn't allow people to call him that unless he's in good terms with them."

"Since that day she visited my office and provoked me to call her by her name to keep her from getting distracted."

A drunken Aki and Choi turned their heads and saw Kippei standing behind them, an unreadable expression on his face. Aki's eyes darted to the umbrella he was holding and immediately her eyes grew wide. She darted her eyes to Kippei and he coldly returned her gaze, making her look back at her beer and ordered another one. She finished her fourth bottle and as soon as her fifth one was placed before her, she reached for it, only to have Choi snag it from her.

"Hey, give it," she said, but Choi didn't answer her as all he did was take her wrist.

Choi simply just dragged her off her stool and followed Kippei to a booth located in the deeper part of the bar.

"You're in no condition to drink more, Aki. Look at you. You look like a mime with your makeup going Picasso on your face."

Aki scowled and fumed, but was close to losing it as she was forced in the booth's plush seat where Kippei was. Choi roughly pushed her and she hit Kippei as she sat down, with her muttering an angry apology as she glared at Choi when as he sat before them. After giving their orders to a bartender passing by, the real talk finally started.

"Now, since Aki is also here, Kippei, why don't you tell her how pissed you are at her."

Kippei gave her a sideways glance and sighed. "There are no words to describe, but surely, I am severely disappointed."

Aki couldn't look at Kippei and felt the words lash at her as she listened. She told herself she needed to even if it fucking hurt. It was for her anyway and she needed more motivation to keep her going for the article she needed to write about him. Somehow, Kippei has now become more of a client that a subject. Aki needed to meet his standards and her poorly emotional self wasn't giving a good impression. It wouldn't be a surprise if ever he no longer agreed to have her write about him.

"Should I go on?", Kippei asked emotionlessly. "That pretty much sums up everything, anyway. I do need to talk to you about your father's request for the cellars. Besides, I don't think she's capable enough of handling something like this in her current state."

Aki balled her fists on her lap. "Yes. I'm listening."

"Well, you did quite talk back to me and I am surprised at myself for not lashing back at you. There was a glint in your eye that wanted to prove so much but today, you just weren't your best. It was horrid watching you struggle with my client to ask him stuff to incorporate in your article and though he was ogling you too much, he did say you were sort of a ditz and looked like you didn't know what you were doing. You looked distracted and was quite slow in your responses. You didn't bother learn what I requested you to and you just weren't able to do anything right today. You've caused me embarrassment and became a huge ton for me to lug around. I didn't need to keep myself torn between you and my job since you're a grown woman and you do need to embody keeping work and private matters separate. I did have my initial doubts about you, but I didn't expect to be proven wrong this early. I don't understand how you could take this so lightly when it's not only you that's involved because I am thoroughly affected by your poor work ethic as well."

Aki didn't bother look at Kippei, but she only lifted her eyes and met Choi's serious stare as Kippei continued on.

"I don't need to know what exactly your problems are, Aki. But please, do not waste my time as you are dragging my own schedule down along with you. If I'd have known you're this sloppy and irresponsible in your work, I wouldn't have taken interest in actually helping you out. There is no need for you to ask this much of me when all you'll do is upset everyone around you, including me. I don't mind you being such a disappointment and a source of headaches outside of your job, but when you're on the field, do you have to bring it as well? That's a damn lack of professionalism and I don't see how you could be nominated for the Writer's Quill when you're completely not ready and not suitable for such. You're taking this opportunity for granted and you're just not really convincing anyone you can actually pull it off. I suggest you back out, Ms. Gojo, that is _if _you still have some shame and face to keep yourself from being the laughing stock of your industry because I sure don't want to be anywhere near you when that time comes."

Slow.

Irresponsible.

Those two words were reminiscent of what Koichi's mother has told her and it hurt her, cutting her from within as she listened to Kippei. Now she was sloppy, not suitable and a laughing stock. She didn't know if Kippei was getting personal or if he was just giving her some kind of a harsh pep talk, but it sure was getting on her nerves now. He could've just simply said his standards for the interview weren't met. Kippei didn't need to go the extra mile and add fuel to the fire.

"Are you actually insulting me right now?", Aki half-whispered. "You know, it's funny how my insides are agreeing with you but my ego isn't."

Choi raised an eyebrow and glanced at Kippei whi slightly turned his head to look at her as he took his Tom Collins from the waiter that gave them their orders. After a small sip, he placed down his drink on the table and leaned back on the backrest of the couch, tilting his head as he looked at Aki with a condescending and interested look on his face. He crossed his arms and legs elegantly, eager to know what she was going to say.

"Oh do go on," he said boringly. "What will you say to me now that will make me think otherwise of you."

Aki turned her head to look at him now, with a very determined look on her face that mixed with a little bit of anger.

"I am not slow nor irresponsible. My mother-in-law thinks of me that way and my own husband probably does too. I am not a little ant you can burn with a magnifying glass and enjoy while panic and I writhe in pain. I may be meek and usually would rather listen, but now I am just too fed up with people calling me 'slow', 'negligent', 'irresponsible' and what-have-you. I am not. I never was. I want to make something of my life for myself and no one else so I am going to do what i can but it never meant I won't have slumps along the way." She scowled at Kippei and gave him a glare. "I am eager to finish this, Kippei. This is just me being in a damn slump and I am just not really into taking shit from you too since you did say you did need me for something that had something to do with your job. Acting like some pompous, half-wit robot with no particular setting for other modes of emotion really is not making you seem any more cooler and important because you're just too secure in your little throne as your five-year award filled your head."

Kippei's eyebrow twitched. He straightened his posture and slightly his jaw jutted. Choi, on the other hand, raised both eyebrows is surprise and swigged Aki's beer. Aki, however, ranted on.

"You know how important this is to me and whatever you need me for is important to you too, but if you treat me like shit along with everyone else, you're fucking insane to think I still am going to help you. With what you said with how I write, I can do that to your article too. I haven't been cheated on when I made that winning article but I did do research and did extensive studying for that. I put all my hours and effort to pull of something like that because I didn't want it to seem one-sided that only catered to the scorned since these cheaters know great places to go. There's always a side to everything I write, and I know very well how to control my feelings. Even though I don't have enough of you to research on, I can simply just ask your co-workers and make a rosy article about you or make you look like some arrogant bastard who's got no one to win awards for. Talking to me the way you are now is not going to make you look any more appealing nor interesting. Truthfully, I don't even know why I am to write about you when staple wire and dust bunnies make for better subject than some insipid and thoughtless man with no regard for his own image in front of other people."

"What did you just say-"

"Shut the fuck up, I'm not finished."

Aki shut Kippei up with a sharp stare and on she went. She somewhat was enraged at Kippei's insensitive words and now, she wanted to return the favor to make him see that she wasn't one to be taken lightly. All she wanted was to do a good job. She knew she fucked up, but she didn't need the gasoline to ignite the fire of her slump.

"I don't know you, Kippei. I don't really care how many awards you've won and what places you've designed, but if this man before me; with his loathing stare and emotionless being created the places people rave about and frequently visit, I'd be highly disappointed as well."

Kippei tutted. "And why is that? You really have some nerve talking to me this way when you don't know me."

"Because you may have the mind of a design genius but you're just miserable and fucking alone. You're not doing this for anybody. Your achievements are meaningless and no one is there to appreciate them with you and feel your triumph. What a pitiful victory for you. If I can make an analogy, something compelled you to be this manic over-achiever when you were young and you just want to keep at it to make it seem that whatever you suffered through wouldn't seem such a waste. Either someone bullied you, a scorned girlfriend or you just wanted to prove that you're better than that well-loved brother or sister of yours. Separating yourself from their shadow.. you ailed through the painstaking road to be someone different and now that you've achieved your goal, you don't want anyone else doing the same as you. Well, Kippei, put yourself in my shoes now. I am doing all my best now and even the fucking-up part comes along with it, but I am doing this for myself because I want to forget the part where in my husband is making a huge fucking fool out of me."

There was uncomfortable silence that found its' way and covered all of them. Kippei was frozen in his seat and kept his eyes on Aki, who on the other hand, looked calmer now and again close to tears upon realizing she herself let slip Koichi was doing something and someone outside their marriage. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and not caring if her mascara smudged, she sighed heavily and swallowed her nerves.

"Alright guys, knock this off," said Choi firmly, looking quite awkward as well and tried to maintain order between them. "No need to to go personal."

Aki eyed Kippei who looked obviously miffed. Kippei exchanged glances with her and before he could say anything more, she stood up and slung her bag on her shoulder. She took a bill out and placed it on the table.

"I don't really mind now what I write about and Mr. Fukuda can yell at me all he wants. I don't want to do an article about this man. No one deserves to read such a Sally-sob story just to make them feel better about themselves. What poor reading material," she harshly slurred. "And _you _don't know _me. _Talking to me the way you did was nothing short of appalling, Mr. Ebihara. I thought we did mean well to stay clear of each other's personal issues and here you are stressing on how worthless and sorry I am when I do have much of that to deal from my husband and my in-laws along with everyone else. Don't worry, I am barely scarred so you do not need to feel bad about hurting my feelings since I am too numbed out now to even feel anything else that could be comprehended as pain. I bet you do that all the time to your subordinates and whatever, just don't do it to people who don't work beneath you."

Aki glanced at Choi and softened her expression, smiling wryly.

"Choi... I'm sorry. I need to go home and I just can't let this man berate me outside work hours. I will gladly excuse myself now and just leave you two to talk about me behind my back. See you tomorrow..." she told him, looking composed now despite the fact her vision was doubling.

The alcohol was strong enough to make her emotionally impaired, with her heart on overdrive from lashing out at Kippei. Aki somehow knew she will regret what she'd said later on by the time the alcohol has worn off. She made her leave and walked out the cold city street, the smell of rain lingering in the air as the breeze blew and ruffled her hair. The city lights were sparkling before her and the laughter and candid conversations around her filled her ears with noise, but all she could hear was her strong heartbeat and only felt the tears run down her face. Aki walked aimlessly, looking like a total mess as she wiped her tears away from time to time as she neared her apartment.

"I am such an idiot...", she told herself as she approached the playground near her home.

In the darkness, she only had the loud crickets for company, along with the subtle noise of the city that was muffled by the looming trees. The only light near her was the vendo machine near the public restroom. Looking up at the stars, she saw them get covered by thick rain clouds as thunder rolled nearby, signaling the onslaught of rain soon. She sat down on a bench facing the vendo machine and stared at it for a while, allowing it to blur into a bright glowing white light to lull her into a momentary trance. It wasn't helping. Bowing her head as she looked down at her ring, Aki could no longer cry. Instead she just looked at the gem on her finger and watched it sadly twinkle from whatever light source it could get. She felt like the ring didn't belong on her finger. Where it rested, it burned her and made her feel as if she didn't deserve it. With an reprise of emotion and tears from her drunken insides, she removed the ring and raised her hand to throw it as the clouds covered the city in a curtain of rain. She held it a bit above her head, a pained grimace on her face as she tried hard to stop the tears, only she couldn't throw it. With a frustrated cry, she slowly lowered her hand. The rain pelted her back as she sobbed, but she didn't care.

All she knew was there was nothing else to do but cry that moment. It hurt so much to keep it in, and the more she cried, the more the pain intensified.

"This isn't real... all of this...", she murmured to herself, choking the words out as she covered her face with her hands.

Her husband wasn't anywhere near to comfort her. He was never there to understand her and now that everyone seemed to think ill of her, there was so much going on that Aki couldn't find the first thing to solve. She knew what she had to do first, and it was her job; but it was difficult having something drag her down and rub her face on the ground.

Was she really that irresponsible? Slow? Negligent and selfish?

How can that be when she was still always considerate of the people around her and did her best all the time?

Aki heard footsteps stop beside her, along with the rain no longer drenching her. Looking up beside her as she lowered her hands and peered through her fingers, she saw the last person she least expected who will be there in the playground with her during that time of night.

"...Kippei...", she muttered, lost for words as her mind exploded with questions asking why he was there.

Kippei had a somber look on his face, but his eyes were kind. He was holding up umbrella, covering both of them beneath its shade.

"Let's go home," he said quietly, extending his hand to her.

Aki looked at his proffered hand before her. "But I... I can't-"

"You deserve company tonight. If that lasts until the next client I have tomorrow afternoon, you'll be botching the interview again," he answered her softly.

Aki's eyes wavered and she looked down on the ground. The ground was being soaked and she could only bite her lip but couldn't come close to thinking of anything.

"Come on. Let's go home, Aki. I don't take 'no' for an answer and you can't stay here to sulk."

Aki felt Kippei take her cold hand gently in his. With a gentle tug, she was on her feet and both of them walked in silence back to the apartment. The rain was the only thing they heard and the umbrella the only thing hiding them from the world outside the shade that looked for somewhere to stay until the rain stopped.

As they were about to reach the playground exit that led to their apartment complex, Aki loosened her grip on Kippei to let go of his hand as she realized she held onto his hand for quite sometime. She couldn't help it; his hand was warm and how he firmly held her hand was comforting and protective. The moment her fingers slipped from his grasp, he tightened his hold on her hand once more. Her amber eyes grew wide as she realized they were nearing the apartment lobby. Kippei seemed to notice it too since he let go of her nonchalantly as if their little contact didn't really happen at all.

"Good evening, Mr. Ebihara and Mrs. Natsukawa; sharing umbrellas?" asked the doorman as she opened the door for them.

Kippei nodded without any hint of emotion, and Aki caught on as she lied. "Mr. Ebihara happened to pass by and saw me waiting outside my building. We thought better to share the umbrella so my husband wouldn't worry about me getting sick."

The doorman nodded and said, "Well, Mr. Natsukawa will be happy hearing Mr. Ebihara was kind enough to safely guide you home. Good night."

The two of them made their way to the elevator and rode it in silence. Apparently, that little moment of holding hands was still fresh in their minds. As both of them sneaked glances on the mirrored walls of the cabin, their expressions were of confusion, disorientation and in Aki's case, intoxication.

Both from the alcohol and the warmth of Kippei's hand.

She just wished they stayed a little longer under the umbrella. She hated to admit she needed the little warmth to ease the cold of Koichi's absence killing her slowly from within. Since Kippei was nice enough to escort her home, she knew it was time to apologize. She eyed the level indicator and saw they were almost on their floor. Aki didn't want to sleep knowing she and Kippei were in bad terms. Judging from how Kippei slightly fidgeted by biting his own lip, it was a clear sign he wanted to talk as well. It doesn't matter now who takes the first step; someone had to do it, and it was Aki who put herself first.

"Kippei... about earlier-"

The elevator pinged on their floor and Kippei got out first, with Aki following next. He handed her the umbrella quietly and proceeded to his unit. However, he stopped a few steps away from her and spoke.

"You need to rest up and get a good night's rest. And also, stop leaving your things during emotional drawbacks," he said, not bothering to turn around and face her. "Next time don't let yourself be swayed by your emotions. Since you said your job meant a lot to you; prove it. Life will kick you on your ass, Aki, and what is important is how you will be able to adapt. You can't always cry and mope around when someone tells you harshly that you need to do more. I am one of those people, and I don't sugarcoat because it only damages more in the long run. If you still want to do the article, I am still willing to cooperate with you, but this is your last chance to do well. You can do it, okay? And I am not doing this for the favor I want to ask of you. I am doing this because like I said, you need this more than I do."

Kippei didn't bother look at her as he continued to walk to his apartment. Aki reached the door of her own apartment and just watched Kippei take out his keys and open the door to his unit. He didn't go in yet, instead, he slowly looked back at her, his expression guilty and softer from the professional face he usually wore. Aki returned his gaze, her mind formulating a question that wasn't yet to be recognized, but which her heart was already acknowledging. How Kippei was looking at her that second, it was making her whole body not want to go in her place. But really, what the hell was she thinking? Kippei Ebihara just shut her down and now she's looking at him googly-eyed. Even with the pep talk minutes ago, he was still firm and stiff, but there was a hard-laced kindness to him that made her heart beat oddly. Aki took in Kippei's features as their little gaze still went on, with her admiring his hair combed back in a very sexy coif, her amber eyes admiring the sleek lines of his pinstriped suit that was contrasted by a complimenting red necktie. In her mind replayed his voice, his well-modulated voice that she now noticed made her unconsciously bite her lip. Kippei was tall and imposing, his aura intimidating and breath-taking all at the same time. Aki was finally brought back to earth when she realized she was looking at another man other than her husband. She couldn't help it after all. Kippei was handsome, smart and very put together; he knew what he wants and how he will get it. Even with his professional strictness, there was a well-meaning side to every criticism and reprimand he belted out. Kippei was responsible, caring, considerate and mindful. Aki couldn't help but partially marvel at him even at that weirdly awkward moment.

_Fucking beer goggles_, thought Aki, but it was uncanny how her insides seemed to be so focused on him that particular moment.

Kippei's gaze wavered a bit.

"And... I'm sorry about your husband," he told her shyly, lifting his eyes as he scratched the back of his head. Tufts of his bangs fell above his eyes which outlined his dark eyes even more. "Good night, Aki."

After giving her a small, incomprehensible smile, he went inside and left her alone in the hallway.

Aki looked at the umbrella in her hand. It was then she realized it was the umbrella she did leave in Kippei's client's workplace. Looking back at Kippei's apartment thoughtfully, she smiled feebly.

"Thanks Kippei...", she quietly said, and went inside her apartment to retire for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Aki only looked down at her dinner. She felt so out of place, so lost and her appetite just flew out the window upon seeing Ai Yashida at the other side of the hotel restaurant. Ai didn't see her, but Aki was shaking as she saw her husband with her and several of his colleagues including Mr. Yashida.

"Sweetheart, you haven't started on dinner."

Aki glanced up, looking blankly at her father, Ringo Gojo. "Oh, sorry dad.. I was just tired from today...", she said with a smile.

"You know... you're not exactly a pretty good liar." Ringo sipped his wine and sighed, setting aside his plate of beans and veal. Ringo Gojo was a man in his 60's, tall and very intelligent. A good-looking man even in his old age, he still maintained his sprightly vigor and still treated Aki like his little baby girl. He was very opinionated and smart, and always had time to set aside for his daughter. "Spill it, kiddo. Lest you want me to force it out of you by taking away your inheritance."

Aki looked to her side and clamped her lips shut as she took a deep breath.

Should she tell her father?

There was an uncomfortable warmth that consumed her, her palms feeling hot as she balled them into fists on her lap. Aki was torn from telling it all to her father and from having to shoulder it all without bothering to rupture any form of relationship they had with Koichi's family. She slowly lifted her eyes once more to her father and pleaded through her eyes not to make her say it. Her eyes started to prickle with tears, her chest tightening as she tried her best to still look composed.

"...does it have to do with Koichi?", asked Ringo.

And that sealed the deal, but Aki didn't crumble. The mention of Koichi sobered her, making her flare up as she looked more aware about her husband being somewhere else away from her. It was disgusting how Koichi could lie to her that night, telling her that he had somewhere to be for 'business'. He didn't even bother saying what it was, and now she had to see for herself. If he just had said that he had a dinner, or had time to spare with his colleagues, she wouldn't bother anymore.

But really? Can Aki really allow herself to just let what Koichi do what she wanted?

_... I don't need to be emotionally attached to you to fuck you or anything. You think marriage is something so sacred? This is just a mere transaction to me. I'm just preserving my status as a man with a very credible reputation. I am used to getting what I want, Aki. Whether it's money, properties and even manipulation of people; I have the capacity and ability to monopolize everything around me just to get ahead._

So Koichi was just using her. She was just some transaction to him to get him ahead in the game.

_"I don't care about your feelings. I just care about your last name and the benefits I will get marrying you. You have a luxurious apartment, can keep the lifestyle you like and go anywhere without having to worry about financial stability... what more can you ask more from me?_

The perks of marrying her was just a peg for him to be included in the elite circles of Roponggi. Even though she tried hard to hide her reputation, fate had to bring them together but wasn't really bent on having good intentions as she was now hell-bent in wanting to escape their arrangement since there was nothing to look forward to ever since it began. Her feelings were neglected, and she was the only one trying to reach out and be a partner to him, but he didn't bother look at her as his wife. However, she had to admit, Koichi did a good job in providing for them, having a very comfortable lifestyle and their finances have always managed well. He did have a point, what else could she want from him?

_Love? Love is something that doesn't really interest me. It won't get me anywhere ahead in my job, plus it's a messy piece of baggage most especially when it all comes to the downtime. I am with you for a reason, but love is not really that worth the priority. Loving someone means sacrificing and that I cannot do most especially when you want to be happy in your job._

Aki could hear his cold voice running in her head along with those stabbing words that made her want to throw up and throw her wedding ring. Then how was Koichi formed if love wasn't in his mix? Remembering his parents Tetsuo and Sachie, she realized there was no affection between them, not even any form of warmth to resemble what love could be between husband and wife. They were so cold and stiff, always talking about business and ways to make money. No wonder their son can only absorb their loveless union and turn into an emotionless robot who only cared about money, finance opportunities and reputation.

"No... Koichi and I are... doing fine."

'Doing fine'. Aki privately cringed at the thought.

Ringo looks speculatively at his daughter but only nodded his head. As a father, he knew there was something going on with his daughter, but he only trusted her judgement and waited for her to tell him herself. He only wished she'd hurry soon before they make the biggest transactions in their lives.

"Well, good to hear then, Aki." Ringo sips his wine and continues eating as he watches his daughter eat as well. "By the way, I heard of your current assignment on a certain Kippei Ebihara."

Aki raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Wow, Dad. News travels pretty fast. Yes, he's currently my subject for the Writer's Quill."

Ringo snickered. "You... you must be pretty tough-skinned to work with a wall like that," he chuckled. "I have heard so many people have such a difficult time prodding him in terms of interviews and similar anecdotes. How is it working with him?"

Aki though for a moment and found herself slowly smiling. She couldn't help but think of Kippei as this little boy who only acted tough to get what he wanted. for her, even though he had such a shell, he was still considerate and thoughtful despite the fact his words are always laced with condescending remarks and insults.

"He's quite a character, I have to say, Dad."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well, he's an outright perfectionist. He always thinks of others and though he's always out for a tongue-lashing, there is always a good motive and intention behind it. Kippei Ebihara is a hard worker but never forgets the people who helped him and even gives advice to others who need it. He's a wonderful man, Dad. Maybe most don't really know how to see through his snappy facade."

She remembered how he half-praised her, and then reverted to insulting her, but he came through by letting her know she was someone who can get by and be someone great if only her heart was in the right place. Kippei was strong, and didn't bother with all the bad things people said to him as he carried out his own life in his own way. He was free to be someone, free to do what he wanted and accomplish so much and have people to always be proud of him.

"That's... different," remarked Ringo, looking pretty impressed.

Aki was surprised at what her own father said. The reflective smile on her face disappeared, only to be replaced with a look of curiosity.

"Different? What do you mean different?", she asked.

Ringo only smiled at her daughter and said, "It's almost as if you're like his girlfriend the way you talk about him. It's nothing bad though. I just didn't expect something very eye-opening coming from my own daughter. I always thought you'd be the one to rat him out for his seemingly too stiff attitude about things since you are exposed to him several times a week."

Aki didn't say anything more and sipped her wine quietly. She hated to admit there was a quickening of pace in her heartbeat and the air around her became warm.

"I do believe you knew I have been holding the release of their magazines, right? I am doing that because I think Kippei needs to open his eyes a bit more widely and stop himself from bringing him and his own team to ruin," said Ringo and motioned to the waiter to get the cheque.

"Ruin? What do you mean?", Aki asked. She was surprised even more at her father's revelation. "How could that be, Dad, when he's barely close to failing unlike I am."

"He needs to let go of what's holding him back. His designs have been good and functional, but to someone who is really free from all worries and doubts, he's barely revealed his full potential. It's as if he's reliving something over and over again."

Aki sat dumbfounded.

Is there anything more to what Kippei is?

How can that be when he's already perfect to begin with?

_A little too perfect if you ask me, _whispered Aki's subconscious and her own heart couldn't help but agree.

Maybe there was more to Kippei that met the eye. The strange this was, why was she now curious in finding out?

* * *

Kippei sauntered into the cafe where Aki and his client waited, his eyes growing a bit wide as he saw her already there. Aki feebly greeted him with a smile accompanied with a small bow. They arranged to meet with one of his clients who she knew to further discuss the basis of his designs for her interview. It's been quite a while since they saw each other again, and after the blowover at the pub and after they went home together, ending the night with words unspoken, it was still pretty awkward as both of them had to start all over again. His dark eyes met with Aki's amber ones, seeing her look quite paler and thinner as compared to how she was before. Aki, on the other hand, was quiet about her sleepless nights and lousy appetite as she mulled over her husband who she hasn't spoken to since that night he forced himself on her. There were small words here and there, updates on their schedules, but nothing that signified any form of reconciliation between them. Aki didn't bother open up whenever they'd cross their hallway in their apartment since he didn't seem to mind her. She no longer wanted to be clingy and needy for any attention to her feelings; all she wanted was to do her job first then break out in hysterics after. At least, one of her priorities will be done and she can focus on other things.

Besides, if she broke down now, what'll Kippei say?

"Good... morning. I didn't expect you'd be here this early, Miss Gojo," he greeted her, and gave a bow to his client.

His client, an old man named Mr. Hirai, grinned at Kippei and shook his hand.

"Truth be told, Mr. Ebihara, she's been here since 7AM. She's one of my favorite patrons. I didn't imagine you two knew each other."

"Oh, she's just fulfilling an interview she has been tasked to do and has been tagging with me during my excursions. Miss Gojo, I do believe you have time today to join me in assisting with Mr. Hirai's cafe?" Kippei asked Aki, his dark eyes going to her.

Aki nodded calmly, but couldn't shake off a certain little tingle in her chest from the way he looked at her. There was a scanning gleam in his eye and she wondered what he was thinking while he looked calculatingly at her. "I'd be glad to. Mr. Hirai did tell me of your plans when I arrived and was thrilled knowing I was working with you," she said. "Please do not mind me, I'll gladly just listen and respond if I am to be needed."

Kippei nodded and assisted Mr. Hirai in discussing the plans for the ceiling of his cafe. Standing there, she listened to him speak, his voice a lullaby as the surroundings blurred and all she saw was him. Aki couldn't help but notice how article and detailed he was, how his hands gracefully outlined the possible places of shelves and the ceiling fans that he proposed to his client. She noticed how his suit fit him nicely and how his charcoal gray suit complimented his combed back hair and mysterious eyes. Aki met his eyes once more, and eyed his lips as they moved lusciously and was able to read what they said.

"Aki...", she mumbled quietly.

She looked at his eyes once more and again, his lips said her name once more.

"Aki,"

"What?"

Aki snapped out and approached Kippei and Mr. Hirai. Kippei's hand was reaching out to her and as she stepped in between the two men, felt his palm land at the small of her back. Her eyes grew slightly wide and she immediately stopped breathing. Her body carefully adjusted to this new form of interaction between them, finding herself relaxing to his gentle touch.

"I told Mr. Hirai that ceiling fans and their sockets can be put where the light fixtures are now. I have plans to make his cafe more into a lounge and dim the place a bit come dusk. He said he wanted a more intimate feel and put landing lights on the floors leading to the tables and low hanging halogens for each table for two, and three for more. What do you think? Any ideas on how to enrich the color motif", asked Kippei nonchalantly and professionally. "He did say you were always a patron here and I think asking you would be good since you are once of his customers."

Aki looked at Kippei, the surprise barely hidden as the reality of his palm on the small of her back hit her like a brick to the head when he stepped closer to her, his cologne wafting in her nose. Lost for words, she tried to think of an answer, but only focused on how handsome he was and how close their proximity was to each other. She looked away and cleared her throat, but stopped herself from stepping away from his touch. Doing so, she thought, might be too obvious.

"Uhm.. since the walls are already cream-colored, I would gladly recommend rich colored hues and tones with regards to the curtains, tablecloth and linen. I'd gladly suggest some architectural designs with angles and pops of color on the pillow cases, maybe even some artwork to highlight the high ceilings and add some life to the walls."

Mr. Hirai was happily nodding and visualizing his cafe. "I am liking Aki's vision, Mr. Ebihara. i agree with the rich tones and hues. Some royal blues and sienna, maybe even eggplant colors in contrast to golden yellows. She's on the right track."

Kippei's gaze didn't leave her as he still stared at her. "Okay, go on."

Aki looked down at the floor and said, "And I know I am not the only one who likes his earth-toned marble floors. Putting a carpet on it would conceal the abstract patterns and make the place a bit bland contrary to the additions of the hues and tones. Maybe a change in furniture?", said Aki, looking wryly at Kippei. With a shrug, she added, "I am not really sure, but that is what I see for this cafe. I really would suggest maximizing the potential of the floors and not cover it up."

Mr. Hirai nodded and crossed his arms on his chest. "I like it. These marbled floors after all is the highlight of my cafe. Not too many cafes here in Roponggi have this which makes me pretty happy that Aki took into consideration this artwork beneath our feet," he said, puffing his chest proudly. "Anyway, is there anything you two would like? It's on the house as thanks for taking in such a worthless project like mine. I can't pay for much while the repairs and renovations are on going, but do accept my token of appreciation on the form of free meals each time you come by. " Seeing there was a waiter motioning for him to go to the kitchens, he grinned. "I'll just be gone for a few minutes. Please feel at home while I see to your breakfast."

Aki looked happy and thanked Mr. Hirai with a bow. "As usual, you outdo yourself again, Mr. Hirai. These freebies have really got to be toned down."

"Nonsense. You're a regular and remind me of my daughter. After all, you did put my place on the map with that article of yours before," Mr. Hirai said enthusiastically. "Least I could do is be a good host when you come over. And also, Mr. Ebihara after all deserves it. With all the plans he submitted, there wasn't a time I was not impressed! And, looks to me he skipped even his morning coffee to be here. Say, Mr. Ebihara, would you like some sausages and an omelet or the usual Japanese breakfast?"

"Breakfast?", Kippei looked awkward as he scratched his head. "Well... that is mighty kind of you, Mr. Hirai."

"I am working with the best designer so I might as well treat you to what my cafe has to offer! If Aki here didn't tell me, I'll just be serving you brewed coffee, hahahaha! Anyway, please take the table near the stairs and I'll be back with your meals," Mr. Hirai laughed as he left Aki and Kippei alone.

Kippei turned to Aki and she lifted her eyes to meet his. She could still feel his hand on her back. Seeing the deadly serious look on his face, she figured he must be pissed for telling the old man that he won Best Designer for 5 years in a row without his consent. Immediately feeling guilty, she bit her lip first before apologizing.

"Sorry... I just can't help saying to Mr. Hirai that-"

"Thank you," was what he said as he cut her off.

Kippei's voice was unusually gentle and soft, with Aki weakening within as his eyes pierced through her own.

"For... for what?", she slowly muttered, her eyes looking at every feature of his face.

On the small of her back, she could feel a gentle stroking coming from his palm and thumb. It was a small gesture, it was barely noticed; but she felt it, the warmth of it spreading within her. Her face flared with an unnecessary blush and she can only try to keep herself from letting out too much that she was relaxing at his strangely affectionate gesture towards her. Wasn't it weeks ago he was just telling her to grow up, stop with the tears and prioritize what she had to do, and now, this?

A small, shy smile played on his lips as he said, "Well, it is true I haven't had breakfast, so I guess I owe you this one.." Kippei lowered his hand from her back and placed it in his pocket. He tore his gaze from her and surveyed the area, as if to keep their interaction normal.

Aki, however, couldn't help but notice the red tips of his ears.

"I guess there is some benefit to being the best for now after all...", he followed through with a whisper to himself.

"What? Did you say something?", Aki asked, but was sure she heard what he'd said.

"Nothing... Anyway, let's go to that table. We can resume your interview there."

Kippei went ahead and Aki was let standing alone, wondering what his words could possibly mean.

**. . .hours later. . .**

The day went on unperturbed, with Kippei and Aki cooperating in the design project for Mr. Hirai as they also included the interview. It was smooth-sailing, with a little argument here and there, only to be resolved by little bouts of laughter as they talked about new plans that seemed to pile up. Customers have come and gone, but they were still there, talking and sometimes walking to the accent pieces of the cafe and sometimes even moving furnitures. Kippei did some measuring from time to time, with Aki helping along to jot down numbers as they both compromised in making their jobs easier. Both of them worked in harmony, and even though there were moments of disagreements, they always met in the middle just to come through for Mr. Hirai.

The sun was setting and the moon can be seen in the horizon, slowly crawling up into the sky as the sun's fading rays bathed the city in an orange glow. Aki and Kippei took a break as they went out on the terrace while they sipped coffee, leaning on the railings of the balcony. The wind blew a cool breeze and blew Aki's hair while Kippei's face was colored orange by the setting sun.

"I wish everyday was this peaceful...", Aki sighed.

She didn't notice Kippei give her a sideways glance. He simply stayed quiet as he drank his coffee.

Aki felt everything was too ironic. There was a sinking feeling in her heart that prevailed, with her mind silently agreeing as she brought herself to accept the fact that her life was far from what she had envisioned. It was odd to be married, but have a more mutual understanding with some man outside her marriage. Thinking of how Koichi differed from Kippei was unavoidable for her, and she wished badly that her husband would one day give her something similar what she and Kippei just experienced. Aki felt guilty, but it couldn't be helped.

Koichi wasn't being a husband to her after all, but she had to stay due to constraints that held her down from being happy.

It was sad how she had to stay and stomach everything. It was sadder that she couldn't complain.

Looking at her ring finger, she told herself that it was a huge lie that she conformed to. It was even stupid since she actually allowed it to happen, thinking she could learn to love Koichi and vice-versa without bothering to have get-to-know moments, dates and exchange of emails or texts. The ring glistened sadly as if to apologize to her her, telling her that it agrees that she didn't deserve to be held down and treated like shit. Remembering the nights where in they fought, it always ended with him telling her that it was a waste to try and work it out, that he was tired, had work, or just wasn't really interested. Aki hated herself for forcing him to talk to her, for standing up and telling him that she was his wife. It obviously didn't look like he cared enough to work on it unless it would make him earn thousands of yen.

Aki laughed to herself as she watched the shadows of the birds in the sky fly with their flocks to their homes.

_For Koichi, I am nothing but a business opportunity... I wonder what Ai Yashida is to him?, _she asked herself.

And there was also Ai Yashida, her husband's lover, to consider.

There was a blank history that she needed to fill up. She needed to know who she was and why Koichi was cavorting with her. Aki no longer felt the need to see if the affair was real since all the pieces of Koichi's coldness added up to the fact that he didn't see her as worthy enough to sleep with. All she wanted to know was what Ai had that she didn't possess to make her own husband desire another woman outside their marriage.

_And so if I knew, then what? Would I actually work on it and slutify myself to make Koichi sleep with me, knowing he's fucking someone who's probably fucked the whole of Roponggi? Am I really that desperate to have my husband love me?_

Aki laughed again, a little scoff of sarcasm escaping her. She ran a hand through her hair, demurely shaking her head as she took a sip of her coffee. Realizing that she was on the edge now, she found herself half-laughing and half-angry. There were so many solutions that were possible, but there were also so many things to consider.

Their families' relationship.

Koichi's reputation.

Her reputation.

Her family's name.

Aki found herself at the crossroads of going insane if she still stayed and fleeing her current situation, but all decisions always had pros and cons. Sadly, her choices always led her to the point where all would suffer beyond reason.

She felt a gentle touch on her, breaking her from her reverie. Looking back, she saw Kippei put on his suit jacket on her shoulders, the cold breeze now replaced by a calming heat which made her sigh quietly. Kippei went back to leaning on the ledge, and both of them continued to look at the view of the now sparkling city lights in front of their eyes.

"If it was, then you wouldn't call that exactly as living."

Aki's eyes went to Kippei, but only saw his profile being bathed in what's left of the faint glows of the sun. Kippei was handsome no matter what angle she looked at him from and felt a slight jealousy thinking of what he could be towards his girlfriend or wife; however, she remembered he was single and it became even more enticing to know why. It was weird how she saw him differently unlike everyone else. She wondered what actually brought her to think of him in a different light.

"If it was this peaceful, I'd be stuck thinking of my own problems and dilemmas... Then again I understand you for wanting peace since you're like everyone else who wants to relax in the quiet and have no issues to deal with in their downtime,"

"Me? Like everyone else?" Aki looked down at her coffee and wondered if what Kippei said was true. "I wish I was like everyone else. Personally, I just want to be peaceful on my own.."

Kippei looked back at her surprised. "Oh? How so?"

Aki leaned on the ledge too. "Whether I am with people or on my own, I am still far from the type of peace that I want. You see, I am in a situation where in having freedom over my own decisions, plans and ambitions will only cause devastation for everyone around me. Truth be told, even working with you on this interview is making my life a living hell now."

"Why didn't you tell me? You should have-"

"Because you told me to suck it up and prioritize myself. Knowing I am doing this for myself and no one else is the only thing that's making me still sane enough to go home without having thoughts of disappearing forever..."

Kippei looked furiously shocked at Aki. She, on the other hand, smiled sadly.

"I envy you, Kippei... You lived your dreams and became someone without having anyone to tell you what you need to be and what to do. You're free to dream, plan, work and accomplish anything you want. You have bragging rights and have enough in you to back it up." Aki looked down at her coffee and sighed heavily. "I, on the other hand, am not even free to have a love that I want for myself... Something so foolishly simple as that cannot even be given to me no matter how amazing I am or accomplished I can be."

"You're married, Aki. How can you say something like that? Your husband is someone who you will be spending the rest of your life with. You can't seriously tell me that he's not interested in you. He married you and I do believe there's something holding you two together."

Sarcastically, Aki laughed a little. Hearing Kippei say something like that felt so unreal.

"I mean, I don't know the deal between you two but you got married after all," he said. Kippei, however, did look uncomfortable as if he didn't believe it himself. "I am not really into believing marriage, but I do hold a certain respect for the people who do tie the knot."

"My marriage is nothing more to him than a business venture.. and I am the reward brought upon by that walk down the aisle. Since he already had me tucked under his belt, I guess now, he's looking somewhere else to fulfill himself and his greed," she muttered spitefully.

Aki closed her eyes and prayed not to cry. The anger and frustration of it all was now beating on her tear ducts.

Something so foolishly simple like falling in love... she can't even have that privilege. Aki just wanted to be loved and to love sincerely. She was willing to accept the complications and the pain of it, and was more than willing to work and love more just to keep it and nurture it. Love was fundamental for her, and is supposed to be an foundation for every human interaction there is. Was she really that desperate to be loved that she allowed herself to be whisked in an arranged marriage because she was scared of dying alone?

No, it wasn't even that.

Loving one's self and choosing happiness is the most important part before aiming your heart to love someone else.

Aki loved herself and allowed herself to love someone she barely knew because she thought that MAYBE he'd see through the affection and they'll be able to live happily until they're in their 90's and still be able to wake up just to say 'Good morning' to each other. But that wasn't going to happen. It was far from a possibility when her own husband cannot even show her a sliver of affection, let alone something as simple like saying 'Honey, I'm home!', or even just sitting down to eat dinner together and talk about their day.

Something foolishly simply like falling in love was a liability to Koichi... and maybe it was time Aki also thought the same, but she couldn't.

Tears fell on her cheeks and into her cup of coffee.

As she opened them again, she looked at Kippei weakly and smiled, wiping her eyes delicately as to not smudge her makeup.

"A crap. Sorry... Here I go rambling again like a fucked up CD." Aki finished her coffee and looked at her watch. "We should go back inside."

Kippei grabbed hold of her hand to stop her from going. He looked rattled despite his face being devoid of emotion. The little furrow on his brow was already a lot to read from, and Aki can only smile back to ease him.

"Aki... if it is that fucked up... Why don't you leave?", he asked her,his eyes glimmering in disbelief. "You can't just go and have yourself shoulder something that you and him and are supposed to endure together. Look at you! You're pale and thinner than the last time I saw you! Even Choi or your friends would've noticed, Aki. I just don't see the point of you making this work in your favor when obviously, it's not going to last and may even be at the cost of our health, or worse, your life."

Aki looked down and remembered the concerned stares she got in the office. Choi and Yahiko were pestering her nonstop to spill out what had been going on. Even her own boss was worried that she might pass out any moment. All that ever happened was Aki and Koichi fighting in the apartment, with Aki swallowing the fact he still saw her as scum that needed to be erased even until now. No matter how hard she tried to state her case, he wouldn't be kind enough to even just listen. He's often walk back into his room and close the door on her. She barely slept a wink and always broke down in a cold sweat, nightmares of Koichi fucking Ai torturing her as she simply watched from a distance and only to burn in the puddle of her own tears. Kippei was right. She wasn't sleeping properly, wasn't eating well and she was close to being delusional that she even had thoughts of Ai Yashida being in his room since he was always in there. She was paranoid and deteriorating, and only worried about what her father would say if ever he saw his daughter in such a state. All boiled down to Aki, but as of the moment, the wrongs seemed so easy to accept and do, but the rights were deemed taboo since it has the ability to ruin them all.

Where was she to turn to? What was she to do when she doesn't even know where she stood now?

"I wish I knew the answer myself... but really, I'm sorry..."

"For what?"

Kippei had the look of immense distress as he firmly held her hand in his to stop her from going. Aki looked so sullen and defeated. She gently pulled her hand from his and gave his jacket back to him.

"For being out of line with you with regards to professionalism. Shame on me for breaking rules about discussing personal matters with you when in fact I should maintain distance..", she muttered. "This, after all, is an interview, not a Dr. Phil episode."

With a heavy sigh, Aki put on her best smile and patted him on the arm.

"Aki, wait,", he said, again making another move to stop her. "You can't go back inside and work looking and feeling completely off. We still have five minutes. You need to get that off before resuming work. I'll listen. I am here, aren't I?"

"Come on, break's over. We can't have Mr. Hirai waiting. He's nice and all, but gets pretty pissed when left to wander on his own. Well, you actually; I'm done with my material for now. Anyway, see you. I'll let you know when I'm available for the next part of the interview."

She turned her back to him and walked off. From the reflection on the glass sliding doors, she saw that he was putting on his jacket in a slightly hurried manner. Aki, however, no longer wanted to wait for him. Inside, she rushed to get her things and said a hastened goodbye to Mr. Hirai who was about to look for Kippei and said that he was just by the terrace. As luck might have had it, the old man delayed Kippei's advances to stop her.

"Ahh, Mr. Ebihara! What luck! The painters are finally here to discuss the colors you have proposed. They have their catalogues ready and we need you to come along to the office," said the old man cheerfully.

"Ah, Mr. Hirai, I- I need to talk to Miss Gojo and-"

"She's in a hurry to welcome her husband home, Mr. Ebihara. A married woman's duties knows no end! Come, come! Like you said, we need to meet a deadline and this needs no haggling!"

Kippei was pushed by the old man and met Aki's eyes as he passed her by. He wanted to stop and talk to her, but he simply walked by her, eyeing her as if to say they're not done talking yet.

"I know he's not yet coming home, Aki. You're such a bad liar," he said under his breath as he passed her by the receiving area.

"Sorry...", she mouthed to him, and Aki walked out the cafe as she headed home.

* * *

Aki was surprised Koichi was at home that lunchtime to coming week. She was given a half-day off since her office was being fumigated as a mandatory procedure to ensure their department was free from disease-carrying insects. It was strange and Aki found it weird he wasn't in his suit the moment she met him by the dining area. He was simply wearing his shirt and sweatpants, his hair messy and looked as if he just woke up. This was the first time it happened, and Aki couldn't help but wonder and at the same time be curious.

"Good... morning...", Aki greeted cautiously as she prepared her tea.

She didn't need her and Koichi fighting midday. Plus, she didn't have time to spare as she needed to be somewhere in a few hour's time.

Koichi acknowledged her with a glance and didn't say anything more.

Both of them moved around quietly in the kitchen and took their own separate meals without bothering to settle it on the dining table. The table had already developed a thin blanket of dust which Aki quickly wiped before Koichi could even notice. Aki looked at the clock and remembered to meet up with Choi and Yahiko at Mr. Hirai's cafe for her article evaluation. Choi needed to approve it first before rising up to Goro Fukuda. After that, she was to meet with Kippei after to continue on gathering materials for her interview with him. Even though it was all work, she was happy that she was busy and not able to think about how failing marriage and her philandering husband for a change. She only prayed it won't be too difficult to do though and won't pile on her head like a Jenga tower.

"Hey,"

Aki looked at Koichi and thrust a piece of paper at her. "What's this?"

"Things I need you to buy for me. I woke up late today and will be heading to Mom and Dad's before I go to my meeting this afternoon."

Stranger and stranger things are now.

"Koichi, didn't they say they'll be out of the country this week?", Aki asked. She did remember her father mentioning to her during one phone call that his parents will be attending a business summit in Macau and won't be back until the weekend. "Dad told me something like that when he called me the other day regarding your business application with his friend's company."

Koichi looked unfazed. "And what about that application? Did your father say it's a go?", he asked.

Aki sighed to herself. "It's still under deliberation since there have been recent developments with your boss and his wife."

"What kind?"

Aki saw a little shift in emotion on Koichi's face. His eyes grew a bit wider and he seemed to be quite aware now. His gaze at her was intense as if to prod her more on what she knew.

Days ago...

Aki was already cooking her own dinner when her phone rang. Seeing it was a call from her father, she happily took the call. It was nice to have her father break the quiet of the apartment. Koichi wasn't going to obviously eat dinner at home so she only made a portion for her. If he's hungry, he can just go for takeout or have a banana instead. Aki wiped her hands on the towel hanging by oven's handle and pressed the 'Answer' icon on her phone.

"Hey kiddo,"

"Hey Dad, what's up? I thought you're in a meeting now. Your secretary told me to just call you at 8 tonight once you're home."

"Well, that meeting was cut short."

Ringo sounded pretty uncertain at the moment. The usual cheerfulness in his voice was overlapped by a tone of doubt.

"What do you mean?"

"I had a little gathering with your Uncle Kaito of Rikumori Holdings the other day. He seemed to be pretty hesitant in striking a deal with Koichi's company and he told me of a little rumor that has been going on considering your husband's boss."

"Mr. Yashida? I met him. He's particularly very nice and jolly... has a, well, has a quite young wife too."

Remembering that encounter in the Napa Hotel made Aki's teeth itch and imagining Ai Yashida brought her a headache.

"...well, okay.. Anyway, Mr. Yashida is a pretty competitive and trustworthy ally in business, I have to say. I mean, I am not into his shares and stocks and all, plus I don't really like his company to begin with; but I have heard he is quite the boss. Generous, understanding and very trusting. Kaito and Koichi met during one summit and discussed a future business transaction, however, your uncle said he'll think about it."

"Okay... so?"

"Kaito is a man who'll not waver in the gray area and leave you waiting. Most especially in business."

Aki turned off the stove and sat down on the countertop. She did remember her uncle being like that. No-nonsense and always gave an answer most especially with regards to business transactions. Not the haggler and delayer, Aki now grew curious.

"And then?"

"So, upon asking him why he hesitated, it's because... well, it's because Yashida's wife was seen with another man who wasn't her husband in a resort hotel one weekend. The one who saw it happened to be Kaito's own wife who went there to take their grandkids for a vacation. She even managed to see the man's face and managed to capture a photo of them together acting quite loosely on the beach. Blasted pair couldn't even wait to just hold it until they got to their rooms! Considering that fact, she advised Kaito not to strike the deal."

"Why? Because once that scandal breaks out, they'll be involved as well?"

"Exactly. You know how it is in Roponggi business world; be careful with who you affiliate yourself with. Tsk, see, even simple affiliation and affairs like that have the potential to bankrupt and ruin you. Stocks, assets and finances will take a turn for the worse and if you think that's harmless, well, you're wrong. You think small things like that can be hidden and can be done without slipping up? Well, whoever the man Mrs. Yashida was with will be facing demotion and possible exile from the business world. Mr. Yashida after all is one of the most influential men in this business industry, well, not as popular as the Gojo name, but still. Imagine what happens to their families? Oh dear. Quite frankly, I have heard that the woman is quite the baller having been passed around from businessman to businessman. I don't know how any man could handle such a woman after many have already tasted her. Yuck."

Aki was silent on the end other of the line. She was exactly thinking the same thing. It was even more alarming considering Koichi's face came to her mind and immediately felt her heart drop. It seemed though that she's not the only wife suffering, but hell, if Koichi got caught...

"Well, anywho, if you're free this weekend, come by and let's have lunch together. And if it's alright, I arranged to meet with a future business opportunity. I'd like you to be there when I decide. Is that alright?"

"Sure, Dad. I'll let you know if Koichi and I are available."

"Okay. Be safe and I love you!"

"I love you too, Dad. Don't forget your meds and stop obsessing on tennis and golf."

"Bah, at least I have a legal obsession and not some hidden, tucked away vice! Anyway, I have to go. I have to do a lecture regarding the newly opened competitor of my company. From what I heard, they had one of their personnel disguised as an employee here."

"What. Dad, stop being outrageous."

"Shh. I'll just be scaring my employees a bit. Don't be like your mother. Anyway, bye kiddo. See you in the weekend."

Aki ended the call and stared blankly at the stove before her. With emotions and thoughts all jumbled, there was a nagging feeling within her that insinuated that Koichi was really a part of all this. Affair or no affair, whatever bullshit he was saying and sin he was committing, it was bound to ruin them all if he wasn't brought to the light of things.

**. . . . .**

"What did your father tell you?"

"Well, about some dude who was cheating with your boss's wife and was caught in a hotel. Even managed to catch a photo of the man, said Dad."

Aki's amber gaze didn't leave Koichi's face. She was trying to find a varied expression and saw nothing, but did notice his Adam's apple bob up and down his neck.

Koichi cleared his throat and asked, "And my transaction is being delayed because of this because?"

Shrugging, Aki played it off nonchalantly and answered innocently, "Maybe Uncle Kaito wanted to be sure that your boss will be free from any unnecessary intrigue before he makes his decision. You should now how it is the Roponggi business world; be careful who you affialiate yourself with and have affairs with."

"Excuse me, what did you say?'

"What? I just said what Dad told me. What are you getting mad at me for?"

Koichi eyed her for a minute and shook his head.

"You're useless," he muttered. "Not only are you disobedient, you can't even provide good news."

Aki didn't retaliate but just looked back at him.

"Don't you have somewhere else to go? If you are, go and leave now. I'm just going to stay at home and finish my work here then leave for Mom and Dad."

Aki no longer forced the argument. However, she felt that Koichi was just saying such and is actually going somewhere else. It hurt, but hell, she needed to accept it. Having to prioritize her paper was the best thing she could focus herself with. If she had no distraction, she could be breaking down in tears at any given second.

"Well, if you are going to do that, I advice you not to bring it here," she said.

"Bring what here?", growled Koichi. "Look, do you want to tell me something? You've been backsassing me when you know you can't just do something as uncouth as that to your husband."

"Sorry. I just meant don't bring your work home so you can rest and relax. It is not my fault if you're getting mixed messages about it."

Aki turned her back to Koichi and was about to walk away when she felt herself get pulled back. Her eyes met Koichi's cold ones.

"You're- you're hurting me!" Aki pushed Koichi on the chest and struggled to get herself free from his grasp. "Koichi- LET GO OF ME!"

Koichi grabbed her chin with one hand and roughly tilted it up to meet his glare.

"You're completely out of your mind disrespecting me in my own house, Aki. If it were any normal man, you'd be black and blue by now for even talking that way," he said through gritted teeth. "You're not only my wife but someone who is required to respect her husband who works hard and pays the bills. You don't want me to fuck you and don't want to follow my mother. You're completely useless to me, to be honest. A woman like you who cannot submit is a waste of time. If it weren't for your face, body, achievement and family name, I wouldn't bother consider you. In fact, no man would."

Aki wasn't fighting him anymore and pushing off. His words and how he said them with relish was enough to subdue her. A pathetic and weak mess she was at that second, and Koichi was once again relieving her of her might and principle.

"Heh, you're disgusting. Fighting a war you'd never win... you're a Natsukawa now, Aki. And since you're my wife, you must obey me and be thankful I haven't hurt you yet."

Koichi let her go and looked at Aki who was shaking like a leaf, her eyes wide with shock. He didn't say anything more and just left her alone to sink to the floor and went back to his room.

"I didn't even say I'd obey him when I said my vows...", she said, her chin trembling.

She stared at her wrist which was still sore and had a red imprint of Koichi's hand. Aki only sighed and closed her eyes, only thinking back to the part where Kippei held her wrist and stopped her from leaving him that day on the balcony.

Will there ever come a time when Koichi will be the one who'll do that to her?

If yes, when and why?

"No... he won't do such a thing..." she whispered to herself, laughing at herself mockingly.

For a man whose handprint is still on her skin like a angry red tattoo, he still had the gall to say he hasn't hurt Aki yet.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry if the story is going quite slow! I happen to be used to slow build-ups of the stories I write. Well, I will be improving on that now. I appreciate your reviews a lot so please, don't hesitate to give constructive ones. I apologize though for some wrong grammar. I write the stories during midnight and tend to type haphazardly and the result is a chaos of Grammar Nazi-worthy sentences. Anyway, thanks a lot for reading this. It really makes me happy to get reviews. Happy reading.

* * *

_I wasn't prepared for what happened._

_It was all a rush..._

_All I saw was that kiss and after finding myself in the work area of the cafe, I pushed Kippei out of the way. I headed straight to the bathroom and out of nowhere my tears weakened my stand, and I was just uncontrollable. To see Koichi do such a thing and I knew there was already something going on... Why did I even have to fucking wait for it to happen before my eyes before I did something? Was I really that naive?_

_And there was Kippei outside the door, asking me to open it and let him in, but I didn't. _

_I didn't want to see anyone that moment. I just wanted to be alone._

_Kippei's demands became rougher and he became angrier as the seconds ticked on and the tears on my cheeks carried on my mascara down my face. I heard the doorknob turning but it wouldn't open. I didn't want him to meddle with me. I don't want to do this anymore. I just want to disappear._

_There's no one out there who would take this from me.._

_I have to endure this. I am Koichi's wife._

_Before I could accept that, the door flung open and Kippei was there. I saw him standing by door frame from the reflection of the mirror before me. Through the tears I saw he was furious, and I told him to get out, but he told me he didn't want to... not unless I come with him. He closed the door, sealing us from the world outside._

_Defiant as I was, I didn't face him. _

_It was then I felt him turn me around, grab my face..._

_...and kissed me._

_And that was when my affair with Kippei started and not once was I even regretful for it._

* * *

Choi sighed as he continued to read through the draft of Aki's article, looking pensive as his eyes scanned the document in his hand. Aki looked nervous, her eyes not leaving Choi as he quietly read on. Minutes ticked by, and finally, he looked up and settled the paper on the desk.

"Well..."

"Well?"

Choi broke into a smile and told her, "You'll be pretty tough to beat with this one. How you made Kippei actually human enough to understand by the normal Japanese individual is beyond me. You nailed it, woman."

A sigh of relief escaped Aki, with her whole body relaxing on the backrest of the chair she sat on.

"Jesus... Thank God you approve. I only have Mr. Fukuda and the rest of Japan to read this and from there on we'll know who'll win this one," said Aki, stretching her arms up her head. "At least, I can still improve on my other draft for the final one until you give me a go to start on it."

"You'll still be gathering material?", asked Choi, placing his chin on his hand as his other wrote a referral on the draft. "Boy, you must be pretty adamant in getting this award."

Aki nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, if I accomplish this, MAYBE things will be... different."

There was an unspoken understanding between them as the silence that hovered wasn't as awkward as it used to be. Choi and Aki didn't really discuss her problem head on but the bits and pieces were thrown around whenever they had the chance to talk. She didn't tell him much but the usual 'I'm fine', 'I'm dealing with it', and 'I'm not really focused on that now'. It was true, somehow. Ever since she broke down before Kippei in the cafe, she made it a point to no longer think of it nor be affected by it. It was difficult, it was a struggle; but she had no choice. She and Kippei haven't been in contact, except for when he'd ask her schedule and text her changes in their plans. Other than that, there was nothing else mentioned. Aki wondered at times if Kippei still remembered or thought about what they had talked about on the balcony; sometimes even fighting the urge to call him and ask if he's angry at her for just fleeing. But she'd often come to the question, WHY?

WHY was she concerned with Kippei?

WHY did she have the need to explain and ask him?

WHY is she even thinking of him?

Days went on by and Aki was just floating by day by day with barely any single thought in her head. She walked the city streets with Yahiko and talked animatedly, but she has hollow inside, as if something was missing within her as she strolled the metro and doing her best to seem unaffected with the affair of her husband. It was like a tumor she neglected, and it grew and grew, only to make its presence known during the wee hours of the morning when she'd wake in a cold sweat from a nightmare involving Koichi. She'd cry it all out and fall asleep again, only to wake up the next day once more immune to the agony of his philandering. It could be said as Aki was running away from facing that fact, but what could she do?

If she faced it now, there'll be hell to pay.

However, if she didn't, she'll suffer on her own.

Aki hated to admit that whenever she'd find herself laying alone in her bed, she'd pull out Kippei's business card and sniff whatever faint fragrance was left. She recalled all the times she felt warm whenever he was there and how his voice made her feel gooey especially when he'd say her name. Often times she'd try to reenact how firmly he held her hand, but she'd feel stupid afterwards as she saw the sad gleam of her wedding finger. She'd then sigh heavily and roll over, and wish she had something to do with Kippei to at least make her sane enough to fall asleep without having to wake in a cold sweat. Aki found it strange as well to think of him, a man who is not her husband, in a way she never expected. Her body could feel the effects of Kippei on her, and she would only slap herself to be brought back to the reality that she's married and that she can't be allowed to think of such things, most especially since he's not Koichi. Of all the days that passed by, she secretly compared them and sized them up, but she shriveled as she shun away the thoughts and stopped herself before she got borderline unreasonable. She married for God's sake and she's thinking of another man! What kind of a woman would do something so irresponsible? No one can blame her though. Koichi wasn't being good to her and even though he provided well and gave her a good life, he wasn't a husband nor a good partner for her. He was cold, cruel, uncaring and selfish; not to mention a sadist and a pig. To be fucking another woman while he treated his wife like vermin was beyond any human gesture. He acted like a dog, acted single and as if he had no responsibilities. He was such a lucky man to have it all; a beautiful wife, a salacious lover, money and power. To Aki, she was just a reward of his transaction and he's enjoying all the perks since all she will be doing until they die and be the trophy wife that he bragged her to be, but behind all that were lies, deceit and an affair that he was nurturing. He didn't care about her, he just wanted to get ahead. Days were blank and nights were shrouded in sheer agitation for Aki, and she wished there was someway out that didn't involve killing him, ruining all reputations and destroying their family relations.

Was there any way for her to at least still be happy even in the current purgatory she was living in?

Aki was confused, torn, suffering and in denial.

But not for long.

* * *

The renovations of the cafe owned by Mr. Hirai had already started long ago but was close to being finished. The cafe was repainted with its old cream base but the accent of siennas, cobalt blues and merlots made the angles of the establishment appear to be more luxurious and at the same time, homey. Aki marveled at the Mediterranean ceiling fans that hung where the old lights were, giving a little flair and variety in the cafe that has always basked in the European feel and the marble floors were polished to a luster that reflected everything on it pristinely. Amidst the structural angles of the banisters, wall mounts and shelves, bookcases and couches, the tables and chairs where the customers sat stood on curved legs of chairs, balancing it all out and giving the overall base a feminine touch. Add the rich reds, yellows and greens and everything was perfect, the throw pillows and linen adding a pop of elegant color on everything. The cafe was still under renovation, and there were still things that needed to be done, but to continue the flow of profit he renovated by area to still allow customers to enjoy without compromising the work needed to be finished.

Aki was speechless as she stared at the photos Kippei sent to her in her email. She stared at the intricate details on the pillowcases and linen and marveled at how it made the whole area seem alive just by having small details to accentuate it. The focal point of the cafe was the spiral staircase that stood in the middle of the establishment and having Kippei retain the weathered look and feel of it gave the place more history and nostalgia. It was amazing to see it on photos and she wanted to leave the office to go and see it for herself.

"So, what do you think?"

"Kippei... it's so beautiful... and you really did this under your proposed budget?"

"Yes. I did take into consideration in keeping the marbled floors uncovered and the colors you proposed to make the room seem homier. It saved a lot of money was used the little excess to buy some printed linen. Mr. Hirai seemed pretty happy to see the cafe looking close to what we talked about."

Aki shifted in her seat as she adjusted the telephone between her ear and her shoulder. She made a folder for the files of the cafe and included it in her other folder titled 'Ebihara'. She needed the photos of the current project to add to her article about him and she was relieved he didn't have any problems about it. Kippei called her up to let her know the photos were already in her email and Aki was surprised he'd take the actual initiative.

"He should be! Even I would be very speechless when I see this for myself!", Aki said looking at the photos again.

Kippei was silent for a while at the other end of the line before he asked, "Well, do you want to see it tonight?"

Aki felt her heart blooming in her chest. There was the deep and hard throb and her mind spun from the excitement of seeing it.

"Can I, really?"

"Of course. You had something to do with this anyway and having your own personal opinion would matter as a customer."

Aki, however, felt the hype deflate as she saw her phone light up and saw a message from Koichi.

**_'Don't bother in preparing dinner.'_**

"Aki?"

"Oh, sorry. I just received a text."

"...oh. Anyway, you still want to see it? I'll be by the cafe at 8 tonight since I am coming from Kyoto."

Aki frowned a little and asked, "Kyoto? What's in Kyoto?"

Before Kippei answered, Aki heard a woman's voice call his name from his line and frowned. She felt a little pang in her heart and shrugged it off, but she couldn't hide the fact she was curious.

"I..uh, visited someone. Doesn't matter. Let me know when you will be passing by so I can let the foreman know," he said quite stiffly, as if he sensed what Aki was thinking.

Aki bit her lip, thinking of something to say. Who was she? "Well, I'll be off by 7 so it'll be just fine if we just met there instead of going together from the station."

"Alright. Anyway, I'll be boarding the train now. I'll text the foreman and Mr. Hirai to let them know you're coming. Is that okay?"

Aki put her hand over her eyes and felt an ache. Why the hell was Kippei so caring? To even ask if it was okay despite the fact he looked always ready to commit genocide on anything that moved; it gave Aki a little flutter of giddiness within to have him inquire something as simple as that.

"That's very nice of you. I appreciate that, thank you very much. Anyway, take care on your trip back, Kippei. See you tonight," she told him tenderly on the phone and realized how she said it, making her gasp a bit when Kippei sighed on the other end of the line.

"Aki...", he half-sighed and half-whispered. To her it sounded as if it was borderline affectionate, but it was Kippei. The man seemed hardly aware of what that is... but how he said her name... Kippei quietly cleared his throat and said, "Well... okay. Thank you. I have to get going now. I'll be seeing you tonight. Text me if there is anything going on."

"Once I get there if i arrive earlier than you?"

"No. Just anything. Be there in a few hours. See you."

The phone call ended and Aki put the receiver down on its cradle as she leaned back on her seat, looking clearly torn between being happy she's going to see him after so long, and being guilty about being happy about seeing him once more.

Aki looked up at her wall clock and saw that she still had time to spare and do her revisions for her draft. As she was soon thrust into work mode, she barely had time to read the first sentence of her paper when the door to her office widely opened with a bang and in came Yahiko and her other officemates.

"What the fuck-"

"Aki! Your first article about Ebihara is being considered for publishing in this month's issue!", cried Yahiko, looking ecstatic.

Aki's mouth fell open and she covered her gaping mouth with her hands. "Are you serious?!"

Yahiko went to her and pulled her into a hug.

"YES! Mr. Fukuda will call it, 'The Prelude To The Quill'," said Yahiko dreamily. He turned to look at Aki once more after his little monologue and grinned widely. "You're a natural at this, Gojo! You should be proud! Mr. Fukuda called up your old man's secretary and even though he's at a meeting, he'll be informed of it! Time to pick out a dress to hit the town with, woman!"

The recognition was overflowing, with people she hasn't spoken to approached her and shook her hand, congratulating her as she basked in the awe of her initial victory. Having her article published meant more readers and a chance to put Ebihara at the top once more and advertise one of his projects. It was a win-win situation for all.

"Congratulations, Aki!"

"You'll be bagging the Quill this year!"

"Good job! I hope to work with you someday!"

Good words flew from every direction and every face beamed with support for her. Aki was drowning in awe, only to be brought back shortly.

"Mr. Natsukawa will have to be home early tonight to treat his wife to a fancy dinner!"

That's right.

There was still Koichi to consider even in this celebration. As she she watched her officemates enjoy the blowout of pizza and champagne in their department, Aki had to sneak away to the fire escape stairwell and dialed Koichi's number on her mobile. His phone just rang and rang, without any hint of being answered. Aki sighed. She already expected this. As she was about to put it down, Koichi suddenly answered.

"What do you want?", came his cold greet.

Aki smiled feebly and prayed that he was in a good mood. She figured maybe this event will change something between them since this wasn't something to be taken lightly.

Gripping her phone, she said, "Hey.. uhm, I just wanted to call to let you know my article about Ebihara will be published in the magazine for this month,"

Koichi was silent at the other end of the line.

"..and it's a really big deal for me so.. I was wondering if you were free tonight to have dinner in town to celebrate this with me. My treat and I promise that you get to pick where we will go. It really means a lot to me and-"

The door to the stairwell opened and she was yanked back inside the party. Aki prickled her ears amidst the cheers and whoops. The noise, despite the fact it was an ongoing, blaring commotion around her, died down all of a sudden when Koichi started to speak.

"You're telling me this during work? I had to step out of a meeting just to hear your bullshit? I am not interested in your little happenings."

"But, Koichi, you don't understand. It means A LOT to me and-"

"No, YOU don't understand. The meeting I stepped out from means everything to me. Are you stupid? Go party or get drunk with your friends. I don't want you disturbing me in work. You're wasting my time and I am not really interested in the fact your article is getting published. I don't even read the magazines your father owns. If it will be beneficial in my business, I would take a look, but an article about design? I don't give a rat's ass."

Aki felt herself grow cold. "So... you're not... you're not free tonight?", she asked blankly.

"I'm working late. And can you please just take it that I am not really interested?"

"Even if it was me who wrote the article?"

"I don't really give a shit."

"Well... fine.. I thought I could celebrate with you but... anyway, i'll be coming home late..."

"I don't care."

He ended the call and Aki only stood in her place, the busy tone in his line beeping in her ear. She now accepted the fact she was stupid for believing that it was a chance for them to end up finally starting like husband in wife. She thought this accomplishment would make him see her differently, but it didn't do anything. Aki looked around and felt like as if she didn't deserve the smiles and the praises she was told earlier.

She was in the middle of a party, however, she felt like she was in a damn funeral.

**. . . . . . . . . . .**

"So, any comments?"

It was already quarter to 9PM.

Aki stood beside Kippei, looking completely stupefied at the cafe. It was better seeing it with her own eyes and was better to be in the place itself to fully appreciate the beautiful interior. Everything looked so posh and expensive, with the linens complimenting the colors all around and bringing all eyes to the staircase that brought all the designs, colors and furniture together. It was an artwork in its own caliber.

"This is... this is just really beautiful...", Aki muttered, feeling herself sighing once more as she took in the allure of the newly renovated cafe.

Even the customers were taking photos, posing and smiling and possibly Instagramming it immediately. Everyone was all praises for the cafe and even though it was still being redone in some areas, the people couldn't help but stop and go in to see the masterpiece being completed before their very eyes. The place gave off an elegant yet homey atmosphere that everyone of all social classes seemed to enjoy and be comfortable with.

"I am glad you approve and that I asked you," said Kippei.

Aki turned to look at him and saw his profile surveying the area with a very serious gaze. She couldn't help but be relieved to see him after a long time. He was still handsome and suave, his dark eyes still gave off a seductive and mysterious gleam, and his voice still made her feel a rush that she hasn't felt in a long time. Having his scent waft around her made her calm and mellow, but it only did little as the newly inflicted scar of Koichi's brutish words was still fresh in her heart. Kippei being there minimized the pain, but Aki knew better than to let it affect her so easily. Koichi had been successful in making her feel like shit earlier on, but Aki wasn't going to surrender the glee of knowing she had a part in creating the masterpiece before her.

"I should thank you two for making this possible!"

Aki and Kippei turned back to see Mr. Hirai holding a camera to his eye.

"Smile!", he cheered. "This is needed to go on the best spot on my wall of memories here in my cafe!"

Aki broke into a smile and wasn't able to see if Kippei did so too, but she somehow felt him get closer to her by bridging their gap and putting his hand on her shoulder. The flash blinded her a bit and heard Mr. Hirai's happy chuckle resonate.

"I actually wish you two would end up together, but I guess I can only live that dream here in this photo I have. I'll be giving you two copies once I have this framed. Anyway, I'll be back in a few, kids. I have certain guests to attend to and they're called VIP customers! I ordered you the special plate for tonight so please take your seats by the terrace!"

Aki heard Mr. Hirai leave and continued to blink her eyes to regain her vision.

"Damned flash," muttered Kippei. "Can you see now?"

Aki turned to him and only saw the blur of his face and physique. Her vision was slowly coming back.

"A little... I hate those DSLRs. You go momentarily blind from those flashes," complained Aki as she rubbed her eyes. "And my eyes are now watery too..."

Rubbing harder, Aki tutted along as she continued to do so. As the itch was subsiding, Kippei stopped her by holding her by the wrist.

"Stop. You're just going to make it worse," he firmly told her. "Just close your eyes for a while and-"

Seeing clearer now, Aki stopped rubbing her eyes as she saw the look on Kippei's face before her. He looked like he'd seen someone get run over by a bus. The longer he kept quiet, the angrier he looked as the seconds ticked by.

"What's wrong?", she asked. She was about to turn around when Kippei tugged at her arm roughly to make her face him again. "Ow! What gives!?"

Kippei was now looking grim. He didn't give her any answer but just shook his head and was about to pull her away from where they stood.

Aki wasn't used to this behavior he was displaying and only pulled back her hand, then turned around to look.

"No! Don't!", growled Kippei, but it was too late.

At twelve o'clock before her was a scenic tragedy that unfolded. Her husband Koichi and Ai Yashida were standing by the receiving area, waiting to be seated. They were the VIP customers that Mr. Hirai was talking to since he was happily welcoming them and taking their orders himself. Ai Yashida was clinging onto Koichi's arm like a lifeline, and he seemed pretty happy. If Aki didn't know them, she'd actually be happy and swoon at how perfect they looked together. Time seemed to slow down, and Aki had to watch as Ai stood on her tiptoes, wrapped her arms around her husband's neck, only to be met halfway by Koichi who pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply as soon as the old man left them alone.

Aki felt everything break into shards within her, the tears that she kept subdued burst out like a damn without needing a cry of agony to be released.

"Don't look."

Kippei covered her eyes from behind her and gently walked backward to let her follow. Aki could barely breathe from trying to stop her tears as he led her blindly into the area that was still being renovated.

The sounds of the cafe dwindled as they entered the safety of the area, the curtains made of sack cloth separating them from the lively energy beyond it. The strong smell of paint and construction replaced the aromas of the food being served and the invigorating scent of coffee that permeated the dining area of the cafe. Though the people and the employees were talking happily, there was a devastating gloom in where Kippei and Aki were.

"Don't open your eyes until I tell you too," said Kippei.

Aki was unsure and didn't know what to do. She just stood there with her eyes closed. She was trembling, and she felt so cold from what she'd seen. There was a fiery anger within her that raged, but she couldn't blast it out since she wasn't expecting it to happen in a place where she was conducting work. Aki felt strong arms wrap around her tightly, the smell of Kippei embracing her as well and she had no choice but to begin to cry quietly the moment she felt him heavily sigh as he put his head on hers.

And so finally there was the proof she needed.

In quiet, ragged sobs, Aki now realized the pain of adultery. Seeing her husband with another woman and having them several feet from her was equal to having a knife thrust into her heart, piercing into her very soul and poisoning her mind with images of scenes she didn't want to see. Even with her eyes closed, the scene itself was plastered in her mind, and she wanted to just die that very second.

"It hurts... It hurts so much...", she choked. "I don't want to be here anymore... I don't want to feel anything nor see anything anymore... Make it stop.."

Kippei held her tighter, and faintly whispered her name to her hair.

Aki gritted her teeth, pushing Kippei gently away from her as she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him.

How pathetic she looked before him.

Someone so perfect like him seeing a complete mess.

The shame of it all. The adultery now unfolding before her, only to be also seen by someone like Kippei. It must be tragically funny. There was no more room to hold her composure. She was cornered by fate's cruel joke and Aki had to admit defeat.

"I'm.. I'm so sorry-"

Aki pushed past him and went into the bathroom of the area they were in. Knowing no one was going to use it as they area was off-limits, she wanted to lock herself for a while and only come out when they leave. She locked the door and walked to the sink, looked at her reflection on the mirror and felt the onslaught of tears burst from her eyes as she now saw that the realization of the affair has finally manifested itself before her like a ghost she didn't want to face.

Why now?

Did fate really wait for her to be so unguarded to show her what her husband is doing behind her back?

"Aki, open the door. There's no reason for you to lock yourself in there. Let me in," said Kippei on the other side, fumbling with the knob.

Aki sniffled and looked at the door. "Kippei, please... Please just go and leave me alone," she pleaded.

The rattle of the doorknob continued.

Aki paid no attention to it as she cried, leaning on the sink with her head on her arms. It was a futile attempt, she thought, to drink the pain away. It was no use for her to beg her own body to stop crying. She was helpless and close to breaking down once more.

From the outside, she heard Kippei now pounding on the door.

"Aki, please, open the goddamn door and let me in!", he told her loudly.

Analyzing the sounds she heard aside from Kippei's voice, it seemed everyone was unaware of what mess was happening where they are. Aki now wondered where Koichi and Ai sat and what they ordered from the menu. Aki liked their lambchops and Chilean bass. Did they order that too?

"GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!", cried Aki.

There was no use seeing Kippei. She was a useless mess and she wasn't going to listen to him. She just wanted to be alone and cry until her tear ducts can't produce any tears. She'll just stay there until they leave. But where would they go next? Her place or their apartment? Aki now regretted telling Koichi that she was going to be late. What a dumb move. Aki was Koichi's wife, but she was treated like a maid, and Ai was treated like a queen. Is this the type of married life koichi wants for both of them? It certainly was another interpretation of hell on earth and Aki was already burning in it ever since she said 'I Do'. She was Aki Natsukawa now, and all the freedom she used to have was now in his control. She has no right to complain nor make a big deal out of it. She was his wife, and that will only end once she dies.

How wonderful to disappear right that moment.

The doorknob was suddenly being pounded from the outside several times. It stopped for a while and she heard something metallic thrown to the floor, followed by the persistent turning of the knob.

Aki didn't bother turn around but she heard the door open from behind her. She raised her head and saw Kippei from the reflection of the mirror above the sink. He stood framed on the doorway, looking slightly tired. He was panting quietly, looking at her with an intense gaze.

"Get out, Kippei. I don't want you here," Aki croaked.

Kippei closed the door behind him, and the lock clicked in place.

"No, Aki. I won't go... not unless you come with me," he retorted rather calmly.

Aki closed her eyes and pounded her fist on the edge of the sink.

"I said get out! I don't want you here and I just want to be left alone! Don't you understand what the fuck I'm trying to tell you?!", she sobbed, putting her face in her hands. "I just want to stay here and I don't need you or anyone to mind me! Please just get out, Kippei! Leave me alone and just don't look at me! Get out! Please, get out now!"

Her ragged sobs echoed through the tiles of the bathroom and Aki can only weep her heart out. She didn't care if Kippei was there to watch. What shame was left to feel when the fact her husband was involved in adultery was already a shameful act in itself? Aki had no idea it was blowing up on her soon. She didn't imagine it to be now. By now, they could be having their soup. Aki always liked their pumpkin soup and croutons.

"No, Aki. I'm not going to leave you."

Aki was then spun around and in a blink of an eye, felt warm palms on the sides of her face and tender lips on her own.

Kippei's kiss was forceful and very strong, with his whole body trapping her between him and the sink. Aki couldn't help but gasp, but Kippei only deepened the kiss by bringing her body closer to him, his arms snaking around her waist with her torso leaning back. Slowly, Kippei broke the kiss, but gave little kisses more as he made his way to her cheeks, kissing her tears and finally returning to her lips that was salty with her tears. Aki placed her hands on his chest and grasped the fabric of his dress shirt with her fingers, realizing that she was being kissed by another man who isn't Koichi. Kippei's lips proved to be delicious, with her own lips fighting the urge to welcome his tongue that tried to pry her mouth open, but her consent wasn't needed. He imposed. Aki felt his tongue in her mouth now, and her own tongue allowed to be searched and soon, both tongues swirled on a frenzied attempt to resist the sin that they were both diving in.

Aki felt herself giving way, and she knew it was wrong, but her feelings and emotions didn't waver in allowing Kippei to possess her bit by bit in the bathroom that shun them away from the pain that was enjoying their meal outside. As she felt the heat rise up her chest, she allowed Kippei to impose himself more on her.

Only the two of them would know anyway.

But that was Koichi's mindframe, right?

This is actually something he's doing!

But Aki was no longer paying heed to that. All she felt was Kippei's lips, her heart beating wildly in her chest and the want to be shown attention and touched the way a man should touch a woman.

Kippei broke away, but gave a little bite on her lower lip as he separated his lips from hers. Tufts of his hair now fell before his eyes, a hungry gleam in his dark orbs as his lips swelled red from kissing. The vision of him looking like that before Aki awoke her womanly senses that made her own body react to how seductive he currently looked.

"Is it still him you're thinking of?", he asked rather hotly in a husky tone.

Aki was panting, and didn't answer, and Kippei leaned in once more and kissed her again.

His hands propped her up on the counter beside the sink now, palms pushing up her skirt to her waist as they exchanged severely heated kisses laced with salty tears from Aki. He positioned himself between her thighs and removed his jacket then let it drop to the floor, with Aki now removing his belt and unzipping his slacks without needing to remove his whole pants. Feeling his bulging manhood straining to break free, Aki unsheathed it and felt the veins throbbing with desire in her grip. The smooth head of his manhood leaked his passion a little, and Aki grew hotter from the feel of his girth in her hand. Kippei's fingers dragged down her panties, with her hips raising up in the proper time for easy removal. When Aki saw her underwear discarded on top his jacket on the floor, she turned to look at Kippei and saw he was staring at her with desire and with an unfamiliar tenderness. Kippei leaned in and kissed her gently now, bringing himself closer to her and pulling on Aki gently as she shifted in her place to welcome him to her entrance. As soon as Aki felt Kippei enter an inch in her, she had to bite on her lip to keep herself from moaning. Closing her eyes, the pleasure was surreal; and he hasn't even fully penetrated her yet.

"Aki... I'm sorry... We can't do it here... We just can't."

Aki opened her eyes and saw Kippei bowing his head down.

Fuck. Maybe Kippei got to his senses and saw her wedding ring. Maybe he realized what they were doing was wrong. Well, Aki now felt ashamed of herself even more. Aki let go of Kippei and slowly straightened herself up, but Kippei held her in place by putting his hands on hers which gripped the edge of the counter.

"Kippei...? You said we can't... and I understand that I'm married and it was just a momentary lapse of-"

Kippei's right hand covered her left and his fingers delicately removed her wedding ring from her finger. Aki gasped a little and watched Kippei put it inside his dress shirt's breast pocket. Aki no longer saw the sparkle of the gems and the gleam of her vow. His eyes looked up at her, and in one swift move as he held both of her hips, thrust his whole girth inside of her, with Aki having to hold onto him by wrapping her arms around his neck.

"If you remember what I said, you'd recall I told you I don't care about your husband," he whispered to her ear, holding her closer to him as he slowly thrust in and out of her.

Aki was lost in the pleasure she felt, her body writhing in being impaled by a man's tool that was meant only for a woman. She grew wetter and she became more wanting, closing her eyes as she felt all of his length and girth create that delicious and disarming friction within her that only brought about the fire of pleasure that ruled out all form of logic and conscience. She wanted more of it and felt more of a woman and felt wanted.

"I- I- don't understand... What were you apologizing for?", she breathlessly asked, well, managed.

Kippei stopped a bit and looked at her, tilting her chin up to give her another deep kiss. Aki only opened her eyes the moment she felt his lips separated from hers.

"Because we had to do this in this place," he told her, looking around. "Shit, this really does need renovating.. I need to ask Mr. Hirai how long these tiles are already here and when he last renovated this bathroom."

Aki was struck dumb and sort of giggled at what Kippei just said. Even in their little preempt in sex, he still thinks about work. What a mood killer.

"You're still thinking about work while you're fucking me?", she asked, quite and slightly amused.

Even though she was crying her eyes out awhile ago, Kippei's sudden shift threw her off balance. What made it even funnier was he was INSIDE of her that moment.

Kippei shook his head and kissed her again and mumbled as they kissed, "Not fucking you... I'm making love to you... Well, trying, since this place isn't really lovemaking-worthy."

Aki's eyes grew wide and Kippei broke their kiss. They stared at each other for a while.

"And since I am not really comfortable doing you here, I want you to come home with me. Not in your house, but mine." Kippei put his lips on hers and brushed his lips on her cherry ones. "Sleep with me in my bed, make love to me too, Aki. I'll gladly remove every pain and every staining memory he has on you and caused you.. Show me what you can't show him, be shameless and broken if you need to be.. Cry, be angry and do what you want. I'll never leave you and stay until you're willing to be held by me once more."

Kippei embraced her tight and kissed her ear.

"I'll accept you.. I'll gladly show you how you are meant to be treated..", he whispered. "He's not man enough to appreciate you... I am the only man who can do that."

Even his breath on her ear had disarming abilities.

Aki's conscience was now going into hysterics, but she pushed it aside. How Kippei said he'll treat her and accept her made her believe him and she can only pick up the sincerity in his tone. But really...?

Was she really going with him and continue their rendezvous in his bed?

Was she really going to allow him to penetrate her when she's married?

_Well, your husband is penetrating someone else after all, Aki.. _said her subconscious. And she couldn't help but agree.

"Kippei... this is wrong," she muttered. She tried to push him away, but he only entered deeper in her, making her weaken at the attack of pleasure.

Kippei shook his head. "You want me and you want this, Aki.. If you didn't, you wouldn't have helped me unzip my pants. If you didn't want me, you wouldn't be in this position now, with me still within you," he told her. "I know this is wrong and I don't need you to tell me that, but my heart tells me this is what I need and want to do. I am a grown man and so is your husband. I will take responsibility for this and he should take responsibility for his shit."

"What do you mean?"

"By the time all this bubbles up in the open, I'll gladly steal you from him. I'll give you this everyday, I'll show you what it truly is to be a woman."

Kippei pulled out of her slowly and fixed himself. Aki took her panties and shoved it in her bag. He didn't bother put back on his jacket and she didn't bother wear her underwear that was on by the floor for several minutes now. That alone meant that the decision was made.

"How... how fast can you drive back to the condo?", asked Aki.

Looking at her watch, she saw it was almost 9:30.

"Fast enough to have you a couple of times and still have time for you to welcome your idiot of a husband home."

Aki was no longer willing to wait. As soon as they opened the door of the bathroom and left the cafe, the ride back to the condo was quick. They made sure that Koichi and Ai didn't see them. in fact they were seated by the terrace that wasn't able to view the patrons inside. It was an obvious choice for them. At the basement parking of the condo, Kippei parked in his usual spot and they rode the elevator separately to avoid being noticed. In the hallways of their floor, they were relieved to know that the CCTVs weren't facing their units as its line of vision only focused until the front of the elevator. As soon as Aki was able to freshen up in her apartment, she nervously went to Kippei's. She entered his unit and soon as she heard the door lock behind her, she knew there was no turning back. After their torrid exchange of kisses and gropes on their way to his room, Kippei locked his bedroom door behind him, with Aki anticipating bouts with her conscience but it sounded so far away. She felt Kippei embrace her, his hands wandering her body once more and touching her wantonly, making reason and rationality weaken in her wake. In Kippei's bedroom, the world she once knew seemed to be galaxies away.

As soon as she fell into his bed with him, she finally gave Kippei permission to have her behind closed doors.

And for their first night, she only had three hours left before the half of her marriage came home.

She can feel guilt later on... IF she ever will feel it.


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey,"

Aki looked up from her desk. Yahiko was staring at her intently, his brows meeting together. She blinked several times, not understanding what his glare was for.

"What?"

Yahiko leaned in closer and scanned her face, making Aki retreat to her backrest. "You look... different."

There was a plummeting sensation in Aki's gut. She didn't respond, but only stared back at Yahiko looking clearly pale. Yahiko suddenly broke out laughing, jeering at Aki as he sat back in his chair.

"You look funny! You look like a kid who's keeping a secret!", he chuckled.

"You're clearly out of your mind, Hiko! Bothering me when I'm working on my article!", barked Aki, throwing a paper ball at him.

Yahiko caught it and sighed, throwing it in the bin. "Sorry, sorry... I just can't help it. But you really look different, though." He stared at her once more and thought for a moment. "I know! You got a new haircut."

Aki shook her head.

Yahiko squinted and snapped his fingers with a grin on is face. "Ah! A new hair color?", he asked.

"Not even close...", she replied as she typed her article. "Why don't you just go and start on your column? You know Choi is still upset with you after submitting it late last time."

Yahiko groaned, leaning back in his chair. "Fine, fine... but really, what's new with you? You look more... concentrated, more focused, prettier and healthier now. I assume that things are going well between you and Koichi?"

Aki lifted her gaze from her computer and smiled at Yahiko. "Nothing's going on. It's still pretty much the same. Nothing's changed. You're just imagining things, Hiko. Get back to work. I have to work on my article too since my next draft is up for submission tonight. Kippei needs to review this first though and you know how much of a monster he is."

"Yeah, yeah. Hope you're holding up with him though. Heard from Choi you two had a blow up recently and things really didn't end well. Good to know you're professional about it. Anyway, speaking of the hermit, you're right, I need to be at his every beck and call with this column I have to finish in an hour." Yahiko waved her off and turned back to his desk, finally immersed in typing as she was left alone to savor her thoughts.

Aki swallowed the lump in her throat, breathing deeply as she eyed the people in her office. Everything still seemed to be normal, with everyone doing their own articles, walking to copy machines here and there, getting scolded by the bosses and just technically doing their work. An uneasiness crept within her, but she was sure she was keeping all things secret between her and Kippei; but she felt that maybe she was letting off bits and pieces. After all, it's been a month into their affair and so far, things have been quiet. No bumps along the way and Koichi hasn't noticed a thing since he was also being distracted by his own affair. Aki balled her hands into fists, trying not to look completely nervous all of a sudden.

_...am I really that obvious..? Have I been giving out clues that I'm having an affair..? Is this... is this what guilt feels like? Is this what adultery is?_

Aki was broken out of her trance when her phone rang. Looking at her screen, she saw it was Kippei.

"Hello..?"

"Aki, you shouldn't look too glum. It's a nice day and you look very beautiful."

Aki suddenly straightened up, looking around and saw Kippei standing outside their department with her father, Ringo. Her eyes grew round and wide, with all her other officemates pointing to their direction and some bowing to the boss outside.

"What- what are you doing here?!", she screamed into the phone. "And with my dad too!"

Kippei stifled a little smile and covered the mouthpiece of his phone with his hand. "I visited him in his office to have him lift the suspension from the magazine Design and Concepts. He told me he'll talk it over with you as well during lunch. Well, are you-"

Aki's dad, Ringo, took his phone and his voice came blaring through the earpiece.

"Well, kiddo, it's almost lunch and I see you working hard over there. Care to join your ol' pops and your subject for some pasta by the Roponggi Hotel?", he said.

Aki met his father's grin and saw Kippei looking gray-faced. She gave her father a thumb's up and left her desk, ensuring all was fixed and turned off at first. She took her bag and joined her father by the lobby and maintained quite a healthy distance from Kippei to keep from giving away anything that insinuated their affair. Her father clapped her shoulder and was about to tell her something when three of them stopped in their tracks as someone was standing by the door of the building.

"Oh, Koichi! You finally decided to join us?", asked Ringo casually.

Aki was stunned. It was strange to see her husband there. He didn't text her nor call her to let her know he was coming over.

"I asked him to join us since he did seem troubled about his transaction with you Uncle Kaito. I thought talking to him about it will give a little boost and not have the deal be stagnant."

Aki met Kippei's eyes. He certainly seemed like he didn't care, but there was indeed a subtle crinkle between his eyes.

Koichi approached them and bowed to Ringo, then turned to shake Kippei's hand. Aki noticed how their handshake was quite brusque and shrugged it off as maybe it was a guy thing to do. Koichi turned to Aki and kissed her on the cheek, snaking his arms around her and the four of them made their way to the hotel.

_In the hotel restaurant..._

"Kaito is someone who's into reputation, Koichi. Knowing that you're working beneath Yashida who has a certain flurry of rumors tucked in his belt is an ultimate deterrent for him since he doesn't want to deal with anyone related to the source. He's purely superstitious. Thinks it brings bad luck."

"Yes, I understand, father, but this deal has a shelf-life of another week left and it can't just be easily thrown out without giving me any confirmation."

Aki watched Koichi and her father talk about business while she and Kippei kept a light conversation about their article. It was weird having Koichi and Kippei there. Kippei sat beside her father while the two men sat beside each other. She wondered if Kippei felt awkward as well. She stared into his face and he gave her a knowing smile which meant he was also feeling the same.

"Koichi, my daughter has been nominated for the Writer's Quill award. I talked to this over your parents since I am very proud of her, but your mother is still adamant in pushing her to be just a dowdy housewife. What can you say to that?"

The table took a turn for the worse and Aki had to stop herself from saying something. She glanced at Koichi who simply smiled.

"I told mother to leave our marital life alone and that I want Aki to do what she wants. After all, she doesn't leave me neglected," he answered Ringo. "The fact that she's nominated for such a prestigious award actually makes me proud to be married to her."

Aki almost choked on her spit. She still cannot accept whenever Koichi would say things like that since he never really showed her what her value is. How can he come up with such things when he can't even tell her those himself?

Ringo smiled and nodded. "You see, even though I could have my daughter be CEO of my company, she chose to work her way up to prove herself. That is a very noble deed from her, you know. I personally can't see my daughter trapped in a house all day. She deserves to be on the floor working and maximizing her potential."

Koichi formally agreed. "Aki is a competent and skilled woman who can multitask and do things efficiently. She's considered for an award and has shown incredible resilience to my mother's nagging. Not once has she complained and is always there when I need her... I can't imagine being with someone else."

Lies. More and more lies. And this time, to her own father's face. Has he no shame? Aki balled her hands into fists under the table and tried her best not to lash out and break it all down that Koichi was a philandering dog.

Kippei settled his wine glass down and joined the conversation. "At first I thought she wasn't really going to do well since she botched in interview with me initially due to personal constraints, but I am impressed since she's breaking down walls and passing her drafts for review to me before I could even ask a copy," he said. "Furthermore, may I say that Aki has been very generous in providing me with her time and following me around just to get her interview done? Such work ethic superbly reflects that she is a capable wife and strong individual so I don't understand how she's to be reduced to some businessman's housewife."

"Kippei has a point and that is coming from a man who barely knows her inside and out. My daughter isn't to be sheltered that way, Koichi. Would you mind tossing a good word for me to your mother? Your father is proud of her, but Sachie can't just meddle in your marriage," Ringo sighed and patted Aki's head.

Koichi bowed his head and said, "It would be my pleasure to let them know of this, father. I apologize for my mother's arrogance."

"Don't you think your mother is right, Koichi?"

The three men suddenly looked at Aki. Aki's mouth was in a tight smile and seemed to be twitching from time to time.

"She did tell me I wasn't really being a good wife to you, and I am thinking that maybe she's right. I am confused with my priorities now. Would you kindly tell me what you really and honestly think?", she muttered sarcastically, letting him know that she's boiling it down to his cruel treatment of her.

A pensive expression crossed Koichi's face. "All that I said is... true of my feelings. You deserve the best and I am happy to be married to you, honey. What's wrong with you? Is there something you want to talk about?"

Aki wanted to throw a brick at Koichi's face. Lie after lie after lie.

Ringo laughed. "Ah married life! Such obstacles are needed to grow and flourish! How about you, Kippei, my boy? Are you marrying anytime soon? A good-looking and very successful man like you isn't going to be on the market for far too long. Is there anyone you're currently dating?"

Aki stood up and excused herself to go to the bathroom. She didn't need to hear what he was going to say and she no longer wanted to be part of the conversation. She walked briskly to the ladies' room and sighed as she entered, placing herself before the sink and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Fucking idiot...", she whispered to herself.

How dare Koichi lie to her father? To even be so think-faced in not even flinching from telling a lie. Aki couldn't fathom how arrogant and thick her husband is, however she knew there was more to his vileness that met the eye. If only she didn't care enough about Koichi, right then and there she'd broken him down for being the dog that he is. She'd burst Koichi's protective bubble around his dirty little secret and show him that he messed with the wrong woman. Koichi was having an affair and was destroying their marriage with him not even caring. Imagining the smug look on Ai Yashida's face made her riled up and she felt like wanting to punch the mirror before her. Dogs, that's what they are. Cheating, philandering and fornicating dogs that use sex as a tool to keep their loins from rotting, basking in lust to keep the thrill of their lives afloat. Both of them had dreary lives that others wouldn't want to live in so they kept their affair in order to make themselves happy. They were shallow and selfish, not even thinking of the people they are hurting indirectly.

Aki was a victim, she was the one who was suffering...

...and in return she joined Kippei in an illicit affair to get at her cheating husband.

But wasn't she becoming like him too?

Not once did she fail falling into bed with Kippei, having him take her and used him to make her into a woman. She allowed him to want her, possess her and own her in his world; but where are they headed when she's already belonged to someone else before they even met? Their sex was amazing, how Kippei touched her and kissed her was heaven, and how he filled her with all of him and more satisfied her to the point that she'd fall asleep in his arms without needing to worry because she knew he'll keep her safe.

Not once did Kippei fail her.

Aki splashed some cold water on her face. Looking back at her reflection, she saw that she was decided on her private affairs with Kippei.

Koichi couldn't love her that way a man should and the way a husband should. To him, he said she was just a transaction gone smoothly. Aki didn't want to endure that, she didn't want to suffer.

"So be it," she said, and stepped out of the bathroom to see Koichi waiting there. "What're you doing here?"

Koichi didn't look pleased. "I don't know what Ebihara is doing here but I pity him to trying to get your father to release his magazine's suspension," he said coldly. "Imposing himself and trying to seem like he belongs is completely desperate... and you have some nerve trying to insinuate what really goes on between us."

Aki looked away and felt Koichi grab her wrist.

"If this deal with Kaito goes south for me, it's all your fault. You can't be a good wife and goad your father into helping his son-in-law get ahead in business. You're a disappointment, just like what my mother always knew you'd be."

"How thick can you get? You really have no idea how this makes me feel? You, treating me like shit when you are supposed to love me and be loyal to me?", retorted Aki. "Aren't you ashamed of how this will look once this all leaks out? You can't continue being irresponsible and still be happy treating me like this!"

"Why? Are you going to tell everyone what's going on?"

"We're not kids anymore! All I am asking is just for you to try and see me as someone human enough for you to love!"

"Didn't I tell you I don't care shit about you?" Koichi sneered, letting her wrist go. "Even if you tell everyone else, no one will believe you. You have nothing to back you up and even if there is indeed something going on which you suspect, I'll make sure it all falls on your shoulders instead," he threatened. "I'll be coming home late tonight and maybe won't be home until morning. I am going out of town after this stupid lunch with you and your retarded father is over."

"Don't you dare call my father that!", she cried, pounding on Koichi's chest. "You can treat me however you want, just don't drag my father into your shit!"

Koichi pushed her away from him and scowled as he fixed his tie. "Well, be a good wife and tell your father to convince Kaito. That deal is worth several millions and I need to get that in order to be promoted into Yashida's right wing man. I deserve that place after all for all my good... work."

Aki felt sick, her lunch and wine rising up to her throat. "You... you're crazy..."

"You'll be thanking me for the millions I'll earn in the bank, Aki. Stop it with this useless talk. Get back to the table since I need to leave now."

Aki watched Koichi's retreating back, her whole body shaking as his tasteless words echoed in her mind.

Kippei heard it too, and he couldn't believe it. He was about to enter the bathroom lobby when he heard their exchange. He never imagined he had to control himself from pouncing onto Koichi's back and punch him again and again for what he's said to Aki.

This only sealed the deal that the affair he and Aki were doing was the right thing to do.

* * *

"Kippei..."

"He's not going to have you like this... I'll own you over and over again..."

Kippei kissed Aki's neck, his hand roaming her body as his palms groped her breast. She was straddling him on his bed, his manhood buried deep within her, and she embraced him closer to her chest as he held her close to him as well. He moved his hips, pulsing slowly within her as he placed his hands on her hips now, rocking her to have her body grind on his erection. Her tightness welcomed him, wrapped around him tightly, and the pleasure was too much for him to endure. Both of them wanted more, their bodies writhing as both now fell on his bed, with Kippei making love to her passionately. Naked, hot and covered with a sheen of sweat, Aki lost herself in Kippei's love, moaning and calling out his name in breathless sighs as she held onto him.

It was madness.

It was a sinister and delicious form of pleasure that was only given by a sin so hard to turn away from. Only the moronically brave, the addicted, the self-centered, and the beaten enjoyed this and lost themselves, not wanting to live a day in their lives or used it to escape what their life has been showering them. It was a temporary high, a momentous release from what their bodies and souls were burdened with; only to want more of it after when the high has sobered them up completely. Aki clung onto Kippei as he brought her to euphoria, with Kippei whispering her name again and again as his embrace around her grew tighter since he felt himself close to his own release. He bit her shoulder, making her cry out as she felt her orgasm consume her, with him following suit as he released himself in her, shuddering in pleasure. Panting and sweaty from their passion, Aki buried herself in Kippei's warmth, his arms automatically enveloping her.

"That was... that was beyond my wildest dreams...", she said breathlessly.

"I forgot what 'enough' means since we started this...", Kippei replied to her.

He tilted her face up and kissed her tenderly, snuggling her as they stayed in each other's arms.

A peaceful quiet followed, their breathing overlapping each other as they basked in the afterglow of their deed.

"I still can't believe your dirtbag husband."

Aki looked up at Kippei. "What do you mean..?"

"I overheard you two talking at the bathroom lobby when we were at the hotel the other week. I didn't expect your father to agree in seeing me to be honest."

Aki sat up and propped her elbow on the bed, placing her head on her hand.

"He did say you went to him to have him lift the suspension on your magazine.."

"Yes. He did tell me to have lunch with you and him, but I never thought he'd also invite your husband," said Kippei stroking AKi's waist. "I'm sorry... I just didn't expect your husband was such a monster for doing something like this to you."

"You mean having an affair?"

What else could it be? The start and end of this was the affair and there was nothing else to bring up but that. At times Aki wished she didn't find out about the affair, but now that she's having one with Kippei, she now somehow understood why Koichi couldn't just stop it. The temptation was too much. It was a delicious and thrilling experience, that the concept of being caught was an adrenaline rush.

But it was a different thing for her.

Aki was left to endure her husband's philandering, and was left to deny herself of the truth. It wasn't easy and it made her cry, made her question her worth and value to him as a wife and as a human being. She had believed that he'll change, but each time he opened his mouth only proved that he wasn't really aware of how hurtful he was and how he made Aki suffer. She didn't really know who else to turn to, what to do and if her feelings were right, that if she had the right to be hurt and demand for the pain to stop. She had her limits, had her full of everything; and Kippei just happened to be there to show her that she didn't need to endure it alone.

That she was worth it.

Wanted.

And valuable.

"Are you... feeling guilty about us?", Kippei asked, kissing her heart and pulling her closer to him.

Staring down at Kippei, she couldn't help but ask why it couldn't have been him she was married to. She placed her palm on his cheek and lowered her head to kiss him, shaking her head no to answer him.

"Really..?", he asked her again.

Aki nodded and said, "This could practically be the best thing that has ever happened to me.."

She may be torn, but it was. It was the truth. Kippei took away away her sadness and loneliness, and replaced it with some warmth she was looking for in a partner. She adored him now, and of all the times they made love and never left each other's arms after was magic. They not only made love, but embodied it; texting and calling each other frequently, seeing each other when they can in places where no one would see and only to separate when their lives were catching up with them begrudgingly. There was a growing balloon inside her that failed to deflate and she questioned if she already loved him. However, how can that be?

She loves Koichi. He's her husband. Kippei is just a lover.

Why is it her heart won't accept that order?

Why was it all so confusing?

Kippei pinned her back on the bed, looking at her intently as his hand gripped her wrist firmly, but not hurting her unlike Koichi did.

"Aki... I know you're still thinking about him...", he muttered as he kissed her gently on the lips, tugging her lower lip after.

"Well, it's not easy to not think of him... I'm sorry...", she apologized, willing herself to think of Kippei alone. She knew it was difficult, and she hoped her conscience wasn't going to spoil this for them.

"I understand... but... can I ask you a favor..?"

Aki looked up at Kippei. There was a pleading glint in his eyes. With his usually combed-back hair down and his body exposed before her, she realized she was showing her his weakness and his everything. There was this side of Kippei that he didn't bother show everyone, but he was willing to let her see him for herself. The quiet and always professional Kippei Ebihara was putty in her hands. How could she say no?

"What is it...?", she asked, affectionately stroking his chest.

"Come with me to Kyoto this weekend... stay with me until Sunday. Let's leave on Friday. I do have work there and it would be a good idea to bring along some of my subordinates so it won't be obvious on my part."

Aki then asked herself how many levels did she still need to go before she can level with her own husband, but there was no turning back now. Even logic, reasoning and conscience coincided with her own thoughts and emotions. Everything was permitting her to commit this, and she needed to know where she was standing.

She needed to know who she currently was.

If Koichi wouldn't show her, she'd have to see it through Kippei herself.

"What time do we leave?", she asked.

"Morning, but we'll go ahead before my subs. We won't be staying in a hotel.. we'll stay at our house there."

"Are you... won't your family be ashamed you have a married woman-"

"There's no one who will judge us there. That house is mine now since my family are gone... You don't need to worry about anything else. He and the rest of the world will not find you there.. I'll protect you."

Aki looked to her side and saw her wedding ring.

Her wedding ring on Kippei's bedside table seemed to have lost its' luster, the diamond sadly sparkling as if dying along with her vows made before God during her wedding. The clouds in the sky floated eerily above the sky outside Kippei's window, covering the moon and shielding them from their indiscretion, as well as covering the wedding ring she always used to wear in a cloak of shadow that momentarily eliminated its existence until for a few more hours. The ring was now in Kippei's world, and it didn't have any form of role nor any purpose until it is brought out of his apartment. It wasn't really welcome there and will not be acknowledged by him. It was reduced to a mere accessory, its value devoid and worthless, but it wouldn't be this way if the giver of the ring didn't break his vows to begin with, and now, the owner of the ring is committing the same sin as he was but on a different stand. The ring simply became a bind to Aki's suffering, and with Kippei taking it off her finger signalled her liberation from Koichi's tyrannical view of their marriage.

Aki knew it was wrong, but ever since Kippei was brought to her by fate...

...everything about it started to feel so right that she didn't want to go back to her own life and face another day of misery with Koichi.

As Kippei gripped both her wrists beside her head and loved her physically once more for another hour until Koichi came home, Aki accepted that she no longer couldn't bear to part with the firm hold Kippei had on her wrist.

She didn't want to part with the security and warmth he brought with him.

She didn't want to be apart from him.

As tight as his hold on her wrist, was the acceptance of the feelings he gave her were also holding tightly around her heart.


	10. Chapter 10

_Kippei... _

_He told me he loved me..._

_I didn't know how to answer. Now that I am being shown who he really is and now that he is giving me all of him each time I see him, I now see that this affair is becoming more and more irresistible to turn from. With Kippei is where I get what I want from my husband, and i find myself needing Koichi's approval less and less now. Though at times I try hard not to bother myself with the pain he has caused me, it still is difficult since he is someone I am married to. The vow of marriage never ceases to exist until he dies or I die. It isn't something I can simply get out from considering there are so many people involved in this._

_Why is it Koichi can't see me the way Kippei does? Am I really that disgusting for him...?_

_Each time I see myself in the mirror, I barely recognize who I am. All the secrets, the lies..._

_They molded me into this someone I never saw myself to be._

_This affair.._

_The pain.._

_The tears.._

_And now the guilt..._

_Is my time to choose soon approaching?_

_My heart is torn between Koichi and Kippei..._

_Should I stay with the one I am married to or go with the one my heart is learning to love..?_

* * *

"Where are you?"

"I'm... I'm in Kyoto. I told you about this the other night that I am here for work to cover a project for my article. I guess you weren't listening when I told you of this."

Silence.

"Koichi, why did you call me?"

"I am not... I'm not used to you not being here when I get home. I actually didn't expect you'd leave so early."

Silence.

"When will you get back?"

"Probably on Sunday evening."

"Okay. I'll be going out of town too to visit Dad. Will be back earlier on Sunday though."

"Oh. Okay. Sure."

Silence.

"...do you like the watermelons from their garden? I can bring home if you-"

"You don't need to. Anyway, I have to go. I have an early day tomorrow. Good night, Koichi."

Kippei embraced Aki from behind as she ended the call on her husband. It was strengthening and liberating having to end the call before her. She felt sort of guilty and bad after, but feeling Kippei's body envelope her erased it all away. She placed her phone on the table, basking herself in Kippei's warmth and placing her hands on his arms.

"I don't like to see you talking to him..." cooed Kippei as he placed his chin on her shoulder. "Or even hear you say his name when you're with me."

Aki sighed and faced Kippei. "I have no choice. I am still his wife after all.. I'm sorry."

Kippei kissed her tenderly and both of them laid down on the bed. Looking up at the ceiling of Kippei's room in his house, Aki smiled.

"I never imagined this would happen to me.. being married young to a cheating businessman husband and having an affair.. At times I think I am a dirty woman for committing this, but looking back, this is probably the most sane I have gotten ever since I said 'I Do'," she said reflectively. "It's true what they say, that each and every individual has their own story to tell after all."

Kippei smiled too. "You have no idea how it took so much restraint from me not to kiss you... but I guess despite my facade, I am too weak to even resist you.. From the day you lectured me at the bar before Choi and found out that your husband was hurting you, I couldn't believe how that could be when looking at you, you're a woman any man would fight for."

"...even you..?"

"Would you believe I have been fighting for you since the day we walked together under the rain after I saw you in the park?"

Both of them quietly stared up at the ceiling, clasping hands and not even bothering to strip off their clothes to make love until the morning. It seems that both of them had finally realized that the affair they have was real and that it was a powerful secret that could destroy everything they held on to if they weren't careful. It wasn't easy to swallow the fact that it's a huge risk, but both of them were happy. Aki felt the happy flutters in her stomach knowing Kippei was beside her, and having his large hand hold her tiny one was comforting. It sent her a relief that their little secret wasn't something they took lightly. It was in fact very serious, and they somehow cherished it. To them, it wasn't just sex and a way to find satisfaction for their loins. It was a hidden relationship that benefited from each other, that made them happy just by seeing each other's names on their phones, and the mere thought of each other brought a different kind of warmth that they never imagined.

Most especially, on Aki's part.

But until when?

Sooner or later they had to face the truth, right?

Aki was married and Kippei is her lover, reading that is simple yet it brings upon so many scenarios and presumptions on how it got there. An affair isn't something to be taken lightly. It's not even something you just think of doing just for the hell of it. So many things have to be taken into consideration and being naive or careless will make it all in vain. Unfortunately, one has to ask, why need to have one in the first place? Is it the lack of communication? The distance of emotion or even the coldness in between two individuals who cannot face the fact their relationship is a trainwreck?

Why?

Is the affair an escape from a life that one doesn't want to face? A form of recreation from the drab and boring life that one has already jumped in? Or maybe an excuse to have what one really wants since its already in the possession of someone else?

Miles away from Tokyo, Aki and Kippei are in their own world, living their affair and acting like lovers when they shouldn't be. She should be at home waiting for her husband and he should be in his doing what he usually does. As they lay in bed together, that fact seemed to non-existent and there was only themselves to acknowledge.

"Kippei, why did you want to be a designer?"

Aki remembered that very question that she always wanted to ask. It was a basic one for her article, but judging from the look on Kippei's face when she asked that, she knew it didn't just come from some simple childhood dream nor a request from his parents. Kippei looked thoughtfully pensive, a peaceful yet somber expression on his face. Aki bit her lip and felt ashamed for asking something so personal, and retracted it, hoping he wouldn't be angry.

_I remember asking Koichi on our first and only date why he wanted to be a businessman... All he told me was, 'It's a basic need to earn money and live comfortably, could there be any other reason?'. Koichi... He lacks passion and even a dream to hold onto... I remember barely sleeping that night and asking myself why I am considering marrying someone as bland and hopeless as him. And Kippei... what a fool am I to even ask... we don't even need to force ourselves.. He doesn't need to force himself just to see me content.. I'm so sorry.._

"If you don't want to answer it, it's okay, Kippei... I can't force you.. and I don't want to.."

He took time before he answered, but after a deep breath said, "It's because of my brother.. that I became a designer."

Kippei sat up and propped his elbows on the mattress, looking blankly before him. Aki just laid down and looked up at him curiously but with concern. There was a nostalgic gloom that loomed around Kippei, and seeing him recall memories seemed to torture him. Aki felt almost guilty for asking and placed a hand on his. Feeling his fingers gently hold her hand, she was glad to know he still hasn't left her yet. There was a relief that washed her clean from the anxiety that built up thinking Kippei might be angry with her.

"My older brother Kouhei... he was a man who I greatly looked up to ever since I realized what he's done for me while I grew up. Our parents died when I was little, and he has always been the one who put me up, fed me, clothed me and sent me to school on his own. He was someone I idolized and hoped to be like. At times I wondered how he was able to do the things he did just to give me a good life, and I wish to return all that he's done for me.."

Aki noticed Kippei's voice trailing away, and as he laid back down on the bed with an arm over his eyes, she knew this is something Kippei rarely told anyone. It made her feel special knowing he trusted her with such a secret, but tore her apart having to look at him in such a state. Listening to him deeply breathe was disarming, as it was different from how he usually was. It sounded as if he was trying not to cry.

"Kouhei and I had big dreams.. He worked hard to be where I am now, but he... never got to live through to see me accept my first award as Best Designer.. All those awards... they mean nothing to me since he's not here to be proud of me. He left me and all that he loved before his own dreams even came true... but he was never resentful about it, and he didn't even tell me it was my fault. Kouhei created a life for me and sacrificed his so I can be in a better place than him. He sacrificed his dreams, ambitions, let alone the love of his life and marriage just to see me through and give me something to live for."

Kippei bit his lower lip, his chin trembling. Aki laid down on the crook of his neck and placed an arm around him, a sorry expression on her face as she felt him trying hard not to break down. She hugged him tighter, feeling him return her embrace by wrapping his arms around her body as he buried his face in her hair. Aki felt him cower as he held her, and a single, congested sniff from him told her that he was now reduced to some little boy who's yearning for his brother to be there to be proud of him. Tears escaped her eyes as she latched onto Kippei, her heart reaching out to him, hoping that he'd understand she's there for him that weakening moment.

Kippei Ebihara.

The name alone struck a different form of respect and recognition when heard and said. He commanded attention with just a mere clearing of his throat, demanded concentration with just a glance from his dark eyes and always imparted a lesson with each word that came out his mouth. He was intelligent, articulate, concise and never said too much nor skimped out on detail. He was always proper and well-meaning, that even his insults need to be taken constructively to avoid bruised egos. He knew what he wanted and knew how to get it, but one would never imagine there was an overflowing emptiness that he was burdened with all this time.

He was young and his brother has never lived long to see him succeed. Kippei Ebihara knew what loneliness was so well, knew what a debt was and how big of a debt he owed his brother for standing as both parents and elder sibling to him. Kippei wanted so much to be accepted, to be told he did well, and to make their plans of putting up a construction company together a reality, but it was all gone.

It was taken from them before they could even start.

Life was as cunning and cruel as can be, taking apart Kippei's only option of being whole. His brother meant everything to him, meant the whole world as he showed the young Kippei that they cannot give up on their dreams and aspirations. Now that Kippei is a man, he still shouldered that and it was what he recalled and tortured himself with.

Until when can he do this to himself? Is this what Ringo, Aki's father, meant as 'bringing himself to ruin'? Was Kippei blaming himself for Kouhei's death? Has Kippei forgiven himself for what has happened to his brother?

Aki couldn't imagine him suffering inside since he hid it so well, and it made her feel for him immensely. She didn't know how to make Kippei feel better, and she hoped that just by being there, he knew that there was at least someone who cared.

Even if that someone already belonged to someone else.

"Even though I have to accept that he and I can never live our dreams together in the construction company that we had planned, I know that he will be happy seeing me happy right now...", Kippei tilted Aki's face up and peered into her eyes. "Why did I meet you just now? Why couldn't it have been sooner?"

Aki herself didn't know the answer. _Why couldn't it have been us? _she thought. _Maybe... it would have been different. Maybe... we didn't need to have this affair._

"It.. it would've been easier to deal if you were brought to me sooner... But I don't care.. I have you in my arms right now.. All the loneliness doesn't matter when you're with me.." Kippei tenderly embraced Aki. "I'm happiest now... when I am with you."

Aki felt her heart sink in her chest as she heard those touching words. _But Kippei... this is wrong... yet I feel the same way.., _she said in her mind. _This is wrong... isn't it?_

Oh how her body and soul defied her.

His palm gently tilted her chin up to meet his face. Aki saw a tender glimmer in his dark eyes, a hypnotizing warmth emanating from his body that seemed to lull her into not wanting to be apart. A small smile slowly crawled on his lip, and even if it looked sad and lonely. As he leaned in to kiss her, Aki felt his soft lips descend upon hers with a loving tenderness that took her breath away. It was loving, sweet, romantic and affectionate, and she felt her eyes water as she knew it wasn't supposed to be her he's kissing since her everything already belonged to another man. Kippei belongs to someone else and he hasn't met her yet. Aki couldn't contain her emotions and her thoughts, she just wanted to shut everything down. Before she could do so, she just had to hear Kippei say the words that will finalize everything the affair was about.

"I love you, Aki..."

Tears were released and it only cemented the forbidden love that was never meant to happen.

Aki clung onto Kippei tightly, burying herself in his warmth and body as she tried her best not to cry. She felt Kippei stroke her head and nuzzle her gently, making her wonder what could he be feeling and thinking. Her tiny body was trembling in his embrace, yet he kept her secure and safe in his arms as if protecting her from anything that was out to get her. The world was unkind to her, unkind to Kippei; and she asked herself if it could get any worse.

"I love you... but you don't have to say you love me back... I don't want you feeling bad and I am happy anyway, so it doesn't matter..", whispered Kippei.

Aki got her answer, the universe was such a bitch.

Hearing Kippei say it was alright for her not to say that she loved him back and that she didn't need to feel bad was the ice cream.

Having to know what unrequited love feels like was the cherry on top.

_How can I not love you... How can I not feel bad... How is it I am so far from where we really ought to be?, _she thought.

_But.. this is where you WANT to be, right? _

Sometimes, Aki just wished her subconscious wasn't such a smart-ass.

* * *

"Did you see those teacups? Don't you think they go well with Mr. Hirai's bento boxes?"

"I like them. Should we get them as a gift for his formal reopening in the coming week?"

"I think they're a wonderful compliment to the earthy colors of the place and perfectly matches the lacquerware of his Asian tableware."

"It's as if you talk like a designer yourself. I think I just fell in love with you all over again."

Kippei and Aki were in bliss. Strolling along the temples of Kyoto the next day and just looking at native handicrafts while eating takoyaki was a typical thing to do between people in relationships. Both of them were inseparable, making sure to check the local sights before heading out to the place where Kippei first practiced his profession. Aki was surprised that Kippei was in fact a sweet and loving man, that his facade of strictness and seriousness was a complete 180 from who he was with her. Of course during work they had to maintain distance, professionalism reigning first, but Kippei and Aki would shower each other with affection come time they were all alone afterwards. It was a relationship that grew and was nourished from a lie which was Aki's marriage. Both of them knew what they were, and both understood that there were risks involved which could prove disastrous if they were too ignorant of their surroundings.

Kippei and Aki were in one of the temples, and they headed to the altar to pray. Before they had their turn, they let the people in the altar clear first before moving in to have their chance to make a wish and thank God for their blessings. Maybe even pray that they be led to a better direction which didn't involve hiding from the world and doing something unchaste.

"What are you going to pray about?", asked Kippei, handing over incense sticks to her.

Aki smiled and answered, "We can't talk about that. I'm not going to tell you."

Kippei smiled at her and kissed her gently on the cheek. Both of them lit their incense and clasped their hands, closing their eyes as the aroma of the incense wafted around them.

Aki's mind was unsure of what she was to exactly pray for. Her mind's eye can only process images of what had recently happened, the knowledge of the affair and how everything dried her up within, only to find solace in Kippei's arms.

_God... I know this isn't how I usually pray to You but hear me out even here, okay? _

_I know what I recently got myself into is wrong... but this makes me happy and I feel at peace when I am with him... _

_Kippei... he makes me happy and I feel more worthy of the smiles I have on my lips which he brings me. He shows me things about me that I never knew and makes me see my value... but, shouldn't Koichi be the one doing that for me?_

_And Koichi... since I married him, he's done nothing but hurt me and shame me into thinking I am not meant to be loved nor adored, even treated humanely like everyone else. I know You're watching when he told me all those hurtful things and saw how ill he treats me. For this little slice of liberation from that, will I pay dearly and will it cost me the love of which I have always wanted? Will my father disown me once he finds out his daughter is having an affair because her husband doesn't see her as anything and is having one too? Will my colleagues treat me unfairly and shun me away? Will business be good and will we all be able to get back on our feet if we are to face to truth?_

_God... _

_Please..._

_I have barely asked You for anything, except for the time I asked for a Swan Lake Barbie when I was seven and for the time I prayed that Yahiko be spared from an STD after hooking up with five women in one night; all I ask is a little time for me to at least be happy with Kippei.._

_Just a little pocket of paradise for a short period of time.._

_You wouldn't send Kippei to me if You didn't want me to see where I truly need to be, right?_

_If that isn't Your plan, what's Kippei's role in my life then?_

Aki slightly opened her eyes and sighed quietly. She put the incense down in the stand and looked blankly at the swirls of smoke rising up.

"If I can't have that... I pray for everyone's happiness instead.. and thank you God... for still making me see what happiness is through Kippei..", she whispered inaudibly. She turned to Kippei, holding him by the arm. "I'm done now and-"

Kippei was still praying. His hands were still clasped, a solemn expression on his face. Aki let go of Kippei and stepped away from him as she walked over to where the open area laid out. There were people feeding birds with bread crumbs and children running about down the steps as they made their way to the stalls below the temple grounds. Aki looked around the sights surrounding her, smiling within as she realized that somehow, life was still normal for people who didn't know her situation.

"Excuse me, would you like to feed the birds?"

Aki turned around and saw a beautiful woman wearing a suit handing over a small bag of bread crumbs to her. There was a basket of flowers that stood by her feet and contained huge white lilies. Surprised, Aki blinked a couple of times and nodded. Her eyes darted to Kippei and saw he was still praying.

"Thanks... how much is a bag?", she asked. "It's pretty kind of you to be this thoughtful and give one to a stranger. May I, at least, pay you for the trouble?"

The woman, with her kind face and long hair, shook her head. "No need. I had an extra and saw you standing there without anything to do. You're pretty close to the birds too and figured they might swarm around you if they got close. Thought you needed to do something until Kippei finishes praying as well," she said, throwing bread crumbs to the birds that flooded near their feet.

Aki nonchalantly did the same and watched the birds crowd where she threw the bread and heard them coo as if to say 'thank you'. "He is taking long and- wait, did you just say 'Kippei'?"

Aki stared at the woman and felt her insides freeze up. For a moment, she couldn't breathe. The woman seemed to not mind the graying features Aki had on her face and simply continued feeding the birds.

Who was this woman?

The woman glanced at Aki and saw her now pallid face and laughed. "Don't be too alarmed, I'm not anyone special to Kippei. I'm neither a wife or girlfriend."

"But then... who- who are you?", asked Aki. The woman's voice sounded familiar and Aki racked her brain for anything that could ring a bell on where she heard the woman's voice. "I'm so sorry, but how do you know him?"

"My name is Sumire. And I am pleased to finally meet you, Aki." Sumire extended a hand to Aki. "You're more beautiful than what Kippei has told me and if Kouhei were alive, he'd be really happy his younger brother has not shamed him in getting a lovely woman such as yourself."

There was a kindness yet gloomy disposition to Sumire. She wore a smile that seemed to conceal so much and it reminded Aki of Kippei's own version of his smile too. It seemed as if they were too similar, that Sumire was Kippei's woman self in terms of smile and demeanor. Aki studied Sumire's face and smile, her heart immediately deflating from the shock of having her know who Kippei was.

"Thank you... but..."

Aki couldn't say anything more. If Kippei told Sumire about her, surely she'd know that she was married and that Kippei and her were having an affair. Looking at Sumire's smile, it was a knowing smile to boot and it was odd how she wasn't hostile at all for involving Kippei in her mess. Aki looked down at the flowers by her feet and bit her lip. Just how much was Kippei able to tell her?

"Sumire, what are you doing here? I thought you were in the US until tomorrow."

Kippei stopped by them and placed an arm around Aki's waist. Sumire's face then went from a casual smile to a truly happy smile.

"Seeing you this protective is clearly refreshing, Kippei. I am very impressed someone has finally gotten through to you," said Sumire.

"Well, it doesn't take just 'anyone' to do that." Kippei affectionately drew Aki closer to him. "I see you've finally met Aki."

Sumire nodded and looked kindly at Aki. "Yes, I am actually shocked to see her in the flesh and just had to take to opportunity to meet her. And I can't believe you made her wait. As a big sister to you, you're completely out of your mind for doing so, most especially to someone you love!"

Aki smiled as she saw Kippei scratch his head. "Does he do that to you often?", she asked Sumire.

Sumire dramatically sighed and nodded. "All the time. Even when Kouhei and I were still dating, Kippei took too long in praying and I always get stuck feeding the birds with his brother," she told Aki, but smiled nostalgically as she looked down at the lily in the basket by her feet. "Kouhei didn't mind at all. He'd always bring me bread crumbs and we'd finish our paper bags and that's when Kippei'd finish. Kouhei'd always tell Kippei, 'Bro, you can't do that to your future wife! If ever, you need one who's really patient and extremely understanding of you!'"

Aki looked into her bag and saw she still had some. "Guess Kippei beat me to it, then. His prayers are now being deliberated by God and I still have a bag with crumbs in it."

"My, that is a first!", laughed Sumire as she clapped her hands.

Kippei tutted. "Geez, Sumire... You didn't have to be so.. enthusiastic..", he mumbled. He cleared his throat to expel the atmosphere and to ignore the two women laughing at him. "Anyway, what made you come back so fast? You're supposed to be in New York planning a wedding right?"

Sumire brushed her bangs away with her left hand and Aki saw she had a ring on her finger.

"It's Kouhei's birthday, Kippei. You know I can't just simply miss the birthday of someone dear to me. I had to work out my plans for the coming month, but you know this is my yearly pilgrimage no matter where I am. The wedding can wait, I'm almost done with the finishing touches anyway."

Aki now felt the air grow thick with a history of tumultuous emotion and feelings that were still being kept from long ago. Seeing the ring on her finger made Aki sigh quietly with a hint of tragic romance as she thought of Sumire as a woman who hasn't moved on from her darling and dearly departed Kouhei. She watched Sumire smile sadly as she twiddled with the ring on her finger delicately.

At least, love like that still existed... even after death.

"You're a wedding planner? I think that's pretty romantic having to fly here from planning a wedding," said Aki thoughtfully. "I take pride in having met such a wonderful woman like you, Miss Sumire, to still visit the love of her life and set aside her work. Makes me a believer that such love still exists. Oh, and nice ring by the way."

"Sumire is in the same business as I am, Aki.. And she's not just planning some random wedding," said Kippei. He affectionately pulled her closer and took her hand in his. "And Kouhei, my brother, didn't give Sumire that ring on her finger."

Sumire turned pink and said, "I'm... actually engaged to my business partner. We've been engaged for three years now. I'm getting married next month. I just flew here to visit Kouhei to ask for his blessing."

Aki was floored. Sumire was getting married and all this time she thought it was Kouhei she couldn't bear to part from! Seeing her happy and blushing like a bride should be, Aki felt a pang of envy. She didn't look that beautiful when she was about to be married to Koichi.

In fact, she treated like it was just another day in the office.

Lost for words, Aki asked, "But Kouhei is... isn't he the one you were supposed to marry?" Realizing that she'd said what Kippei had told her the other night, she immediately covered her mouth, looking apologetic. "I'm- I'm so sorry... Pardon my ignorance, I didn't mean to.."

Sumire shook her head and took Aki's hand in hers. The ring on her finger sparkled under the sun, just like the way her own eyes shone with earnestness.

"Life didn't work out that way, Aki.. We loved each other so much but due to things we couldn't control, Kouhei and I had to duke it out with life in order to still stay together. It was difficult, most especially when we had different lives to live while we remained in our relationship."

Her eyes wandered over to Kippei, whose own eyes wavered to the side.

"Kouhei... he got sick and I didn't leave him, promising him that I'd stay no matter what. The sicker he got, the more i got close to understanding that Kouhei and I can never be together. It hurt me a lot... and I did cry a lot too, but life just has this way of making you see that sometimes, the things that you have planned and have gotten yourself into don't always mean well in the end or won't work out that way you wanted it to be even with the sufficient amount of sacrifice and patience."

Sumire sighed and continued on, the wind blowing their hair and carrying the noise of the tourists and temple visitors.

"You get to see life in a different light and suddenly the wrongs seem right and the rights seem so limiting... With my place in life now, Aki, even though I still think of Kouhei from time to time, my heart can only reach out to him the best way I know how since he and I can never be in the same place anymore. I pray to him and ask help, even talk to him when the wind blows and when the rain pours because I know he's watching me and rooting for me. Even though we were never meant to be in this lifetime, I know he's still watching out for my happiness. Kouhei and I didn't end up marrying each other, but I found another reason to move on and live."

Sumire lovingly looked at her ring, her eyes turning misty as she told Aki her story.

"Actually... I never really thought I'd be happy again, Aki. There were so many times I wanted to die and join Kouhei but I figured he'd tell me I was becoming stupid again if I think such things. You know, my fiancee is wonderful and very understanding... and I know Kouhei sent him to me to make me happy since he wasn't able to do so until we both turned old and gray. For whatever Kouhei and I haven't become, I have decided to move on and no longer hold on to the past because I believe Kouhei didn't want that for me too. I finally opened myself to the world and searched for my happiness and the source of my smiles. Personally, for what has happened between me and him and what never came to be, I don't blame anything nor anyone. I shouldn't after all because life is a mystery. It takes us all by surprise and when we least expect it."

Aki couldn't help but think it was Sumire's way of telling Kippei something judging from how she kept glancing at him. How she said she didn't blame anything nor anyone seemed to carry so much meaning that was directed to Kippei that it made him clamp his lips shut and look that other direction. Somehow, Aki now understood what she meant and looked at Kippei too. There was a resentful gleam in his eye as he focused on the people around him and Aki couldn't help but latch onto what Sumire's words meant as well. It's as if Sumire was speaking to her too.

Sumire's hold on her hand grew tighter, making Aki look back at her. With a knowing tone, she gave Aki a smile.

"And that's what Kippei should do as well so he can find his own happiness..", she sadly told her.

Aki then finally understood what her father meant about Kippei 'bringing himself to his ruin'.

Kippei still hasn't forgiven himself for Kouhei's death.

No wonder he was too perfect on the outside...

...he was silently cutting himself deeply for a fault that was never his to begin with. He was just covering it up with a facade that masked his guilt to keep anyone from using it against him.

Aki has never felt closer to him.

She smiled feebly and didn't say a word, but felt Sumire's hand squeeze her hand gently, making her look back at her.

"And you... I think... you should find your own happiness too, Aki," she said. "Despite what everyone around you tells you and whatever people may think, you have the right to be happy and move on. Happiness doesn't always come from the straights of life and the allowed norms of society... Sometimes, happiness comes from the simplest, and even in the most complicated of things."

Kippei now turned to look at Sumire, a look of awe on his face.

"Happiness is a choice... it just depends if you want the temporary kind or the long-lasting one," she told them. "However, all choices are never easy and you need to do things that could end up practically changing your lives drastically. The thrill is in the risk after all, and sometimes, those risks prove to be the ones that will lead you to happiness you never exactly imagined."


	11. Chapter 11

It has been a week since the return from Kyoto and Aki was just in the archives in the office just tending to her usual duties in filing her articles in her separate drawer. In the quiet of the archives, she couldn't help but smile to her as her mind backtracked to the weekend in Kyoto. There was so much in her that wanted to stay there and not leave, but reality had to call back in the form of her husband who was already home by the time she got to the station. She and Kippei had to take separate trains so it wouldn't be obvious that they had something going on, only to meet at the lobby of their unit once more when Koichi forced her to go with him to a business dinner with his company and their investment partners. She was relieved to see Choi there as well and got to talk to him about work and the article she writing, but was short-lived once she saw Ai Yashida once more and Aki simply lost her appetite in staying longer. When she told Koichi she wanted to go, all he did was tell her that she can go ahead without even bothering to ask where she was headed or if she felt unwell. Aki felt hurt by his usual uncaring answer, but only to feel a little hidden joy as she texted Kippei that she can leave. Kippei said he will pick her up, and he did, but they didn't leave without someone watching them.

**...****_at the condominium parking lot..._**

Kippei can only wipe the sweat off his brow as he finished, with Aki beneath him panting as she arranged her clothes and wiped her sweat as well.

"Isn't the basement parking lot equipped with a CCTV?", asked Aki as she fixed herself.

Kippei adjusted his belt and went back to the driver's seat, turning on the aircon to let the fog the built up on the windows clear. "Nope. I managed to time when the roving guard was on his break. I was about to complain to management about that flaw, but turns out I don't need to since car sex actually is such a thrill," he answered, looking back at her through the rearview mirror.

Aki smiled at Kippei knowingly and pinched his cheek before clambering back on the passenger seat. "Aren't you some hot-blooded teenager," she told him teasingly.

Kippei smiled, leaning to her for a kiss, only to stop midway when Aki's phone rang. Checking it, Aki saw it was Koichi. With a look at Kippei, Aki asked if she can answer it, and he can only nod as he leaned on the carseat.

"Hello, Koichi?"

"Are you at home?"

"No...", Aki looked at Kippei and he mouthed 'Work' to her. "No, I'm at work doing overtime.. I'll be home probably..." Glancing at Kippei, he raised two fingers. "In two hours." That could buy time for her to look fresh again and not smell of Kippei.

Koichi was silent on the other line and then said, "Ah, good. I'll be coming home now. Don't bother coming in to check up on me. I'll be working overtime tonight as well and I wouldn't want to be disturbed." He sounded rather drunk and the other line sounded as if he was driving.

"Koichi, are you driving and drunk?", Aki asked worriedly. "You know that's dangerous and-"

"What is it to you?", he chided. "You've always been so nosy. No wonder I wouldn't want to touch you."

Aki was about to say something when she heard a woman's voice giggling in the background. she froze in her seat and listened more. She heard a clatter the seemed to sound like the phone fell.

"Ah shit, my phone. Baby, can you get it?", said Koichi, and hearing say it sounded so dirty and raunchy that Aki grimaced.

"Okay babe. What did she say?", said the woman.

Aki felt herself turn cold. It was Ai Yashida and Koichi together in his car. She felt the disgust rid her senseless. She did sit in that car seat and now wondered if she needed to screen herself for an STD. A honk sounded from his line and Aki heard it too in the area they are in and Aki simply ended the call. There was nothing else to think about, Koichi was obviously taking Ai Yashida home with him. She leaned back in the car seat and looked at Kippei who leaning on the steering wheel, smiling at her sympathetically. It seems Kippei heard it too. Headlights appeared near them and Aki remembered that Koichi's parking slot was parallel to Kippei's own unit parking slot. Great, now Aki had to see it for herself. She wasn't sure what to say, but all she can do was sit back and wait for something to happen. Koichi's car indeed came into view, with Kippei finally moving from his seat by taking out his own phone.

"What are you doing?" asked Aki blankly, but she knew what he was going to do.

Kippei didn't answer her but instead, he simply opened his camera app.

Koichi's car parked in his slot and moments later, he and Ai emerged from the vehicle. They looked trashed, completely drunk and exchanging lewd kisses. He pinned Ai on the car and groped her, with Ai's own hand disappearing in Koichi's slacks.

"You don't have to watch this, turn away, Aki. Close your eyes and cover your ears." Kippei took photos and recorded what he can.

Aki didn't say anything more but still kept her eyes on the philandering couple, tears streaming down her face. It was depressing seeing her husband fornicate with another woman and want the bitch instead. She fought the urge to get out and catch them in the act, but knew if she did, Kippei would get in trouble as well. Ai and Koichi's muffled moans echoed outside the car, with Aki's disgust filling to the brim as she couldn't believe they weren't even discreet enough to just wait to jump on each other in his room.

But that was far worse.

Koichi was taking Ai to their home, the place they shared as husband and wife. The only place where in the reality of their affairs hasn't tainted yet.

"They're leaving," said Kippei.

Aki looked at the surroundings and can only sigh. She turned to Kippei to watch him scan what he'd taken. "I think I feel so sick to my stomach now..", she said weakly. "I don't even know how I'd be able to look at the apartment later on."

"You can stay in my apartment until she leaves." Kippei sighed and embraced her tenderly. "To others who don't know our story, we're just like them if anyone else found out..." He grew silent, then asked, "...are you ashamed?"

Was she?

Aki was ashamed, but more ashamed on her husband's part since he was the one who actually got caught and not her. There was a shallow joy in her, but it was more on terror and loss that ruled her that moment. She just had to witness it AGAIN. How much more can she take from her husband.? How much more can she handle in being a martyr? The fact is, Kippei had enough evidence to nullify Aki's marriage to Koichi, but how come she couldn't let go? There was a shred of denial in her and she can only think of her father's face, Koichi's parents, Choi and even the other business partners Koichi worked with whose name she didn't even remember. If this was brought out in the open, it would mean devastation, with lives and business opportunities collapsing because of this scandalous circumstance.

"I am going to keep these until you finally decide to use them..."

Aki pushed Kippei away from her gently and looked up at him in surprise. "But... but you can actually steal me away with those photos and videos you got, Kippei."

Kippei smiled sadly at her. There was a gloomy disposition in him that Aki wanted to take away, but she knew she was the one causing it. "I know... but I want you to be ready and sure when I use these to help you." His eyes wavered away. "Honestly, I think you still have this... hope that everything will change and your husband will change too."

Aki didn't say anything more. In fact, what Kippei said was true. She was hoping Koichi would somehow change... but she was also said that weeks ago, a month ago, after they got married. Until when will she hope?

"You... you have no idea how much I want to use them now since it hurts me knowing you're suffering so much, but seeing you so lost and uncertain of what to do, I wouldn't want to act on this alone without your permission," Kippei told her weakly. "I can't take hold of your life for my own benefit without your consent, Aki. I love you too much to even do something so selfish."

"_Oh Kippei... even until this situation you're still thinking of me..._", she thought as she leaned in and kissed Kippei on the lips. "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry, Kippei.. I don't deserve you or anyone... I am just a mess and-"

"Shut up, don't say anything more.. You know that's not true.. I wouldn't care for you like this if what you said was true." Kippei held her close now and breathed her in while he stroked her hair. "If only I didn't love you and just wanted you, I would've destroyed all our lives now... but you... I know how it feels to be unsure, unwanted, not be enough and to carry such a heavy burden. I'll be here until you decide when it's time to finally move on. I won't leave you... and I promise you, we will move on together."

Aki clung onto Kippei and closed her eyes as she let her tears flow.

How Kippei made that promise...

...it felt so real.

* * *

Aki was struck numb.

Her eyes wandered over to the piercing eyes of Choi who had a very somber expression on his face. It was tiring having to gauge what he was going to say next. She wondered if she can take the blows of his words.

"So, I am not wrong then. It was you."

It was Choi who saw her slip out of the dinner that evening and to his shock, saw her climb in Kippei's car.

Aki nodded. "There's no use hiding it from you then if you did see me."

Choi sighed heavily. He glanced at the open door of his office and closed his himself. He sat back down on his chair and crossed his legs, leaning back on the heavy, leather chair he sat in. "Aki, you can't be serious with this?", he asked her.

She didn't reply.

"Aki... having an affair isn't something you do to escape from your own husband's affair. Any logical person can vouch for that solution."

"But what if I am not logical? What if I just want the easy way out?"

"Aki, the easy way out doesn't usually end up in happy endings and growing old while reflecting on your lives on the porch while watching grandkids."

She knew that fact well, but the present wasn't that kind enough to have her be a happy woman. She was selfish enough to have her own form of happiness even if it was in the wrong form. After all, her husband wasn't man enough to give it to her. He was also selfish and didn't see anyone else but his own happiness and his own satisfaction. He did what men who weren't married did and did it well, leaving Aki to suffer for her own sake.

Choi leaned forward, placing his head on his hand which was propped on the table. "And Aki.. Kippei being fine with this... You're just going to destroy yourselves in the process. You know affairs don't usually end up well for women, most of all. Think about yourself, Aki. Think about your family, your name. Think of how it'll ravage all the ones who are involved. You don't see it yet since you're too high on the awesome sex and the emotional upkeep, but until when will you keep this under the wraps? Someone's bound to realize this is happening and expose you.."

Aki looked up at Choi. "And you're going to do that?", she asked him blankly. "You're going to tell everyone what a whore I am?"

Choi frowned and shook his head. "No... I'm not going to do that... but I want you to stop this once and for all. I am saving you from a hell that is waiting to be unleashed. Aki, Koichi is the one having the affair. You were not meant to counter it to make him feel the pain of his own doing. The very sword you use may be the one that could kill you," he told her. "Kippei can't indulge you like this. You're not a kid anymore."

"And I am not anyone's doormat!", cried Aki, making Choi recoil.

The people outside his office grew quiet.

"Choi, you have no idea how it is for me. The very fact that I know my husband is fucking another woman is torturing me, and having him treat me like shit is a fate worse than death. You are not aware of how cruel he is to me, and how he looks at me, Choi? He looks at me as if I am scum or some weakened animal ready to be killed with a shotgun.." Aki felt herself close to tears. "He doesn't tell me he loves me, doesn't even hold my hand when I am sad nor eats the food I make. He doesn't allow me to talk to him, to embrace him, let alone have me ask what's his current venture in business..."

Oh the irony of her marriage to Koichi Natsukawa. Aki was chagrin beyond reason and seeing Choi weaken in his resolve only brought her more reason to tell him more. She was embarrassed, humiliated; but that was her fate. She had so much to think about with regards to her situation and the current solution was to have an affair herself. It kept her balanced, kept her sane; but she knew it had to end sometime and Choi just had to remind her that.

Why can't she just have a normal life with a husband who treasures her and loves her that she needed to find another man to do that for her outside her marriage?

"Choi, you know how good of a daughter I have always been... a good employee and a patient wife... but I am not someone who was born half-woman and half-sponge to absorb all that is being thrown at me. Just a little happiness is what I want and will ask, and if it is indeed that hard to be given, I'm sorry for taking matters into my own hands and finding it myself."

Aki stood up and went to the door, only to have Choi grab her by the arm.

"I understand what you're going through and know how horrible it is for Koichi to be some heartless dick to his own wife, but you can't prolong this without thinking of a solution that is going to help everyone, and most of all, including you." Choi sighed and shook his head in sympathy. "I am sorry if I can't personally mediate in this and help, but please, Aki, I wouldn't want you destroying your life for something and someone you can always have without having to destroy lives in the process."

Aki knew Choi was referring about Kippei and their affair.

"I am not one to consent this, but please, Aki. Have some common sense. Your father will be enraged to hear his daughter suffering under the roof of a maniac and being indulged by a man who isn't her husband. I can only go so far as that thought, but imagine how it'll be when he finds out. What about Kippei? Have you ever thought of that? Kippei has a career that he loves and would fight for. If this broke out, it could destroy him too and what if he in turn resents you and leaves you? Where will that put you? What else will you hold on to?" he protested. "Aki, we can find a way to keep your husband from cheating and to keep you and Kippei free from destroying your lives. Think of yourself."

"I understand, Choi...", she yanked her arm from him and turned a gloomy eye to him. "But why is it it's always me that has to give up and sacrifice...? Can't the world empathize that I need my own form of happiness as well? If this is selfishness on my part, then so be it; but I can't hide the fact that at least I was happy even for a little while. I can't live like this, Choi. It will kill me."

She opened the door to his office and saw her father standing there, his usual cheery smile gone from his face.

"Dad...", was all she could mutter. The shock of seeing her father there was too much to bear in one go. Her eyes wandered over to the person behind him, her eyes growing wide. "What're you... what're you doing here?"

Kippei just stared at her, his face devoid of any emotion, but his eyes were dark orbs of what seemed to be fear.

Ringo Gojo spoke in a low voice that only meant one thing. He heard it all. Aki moved out of his way as he went in after gesturing for Kippei to follow.

"Choi, please leave us be for a moment," he said in a very low voice. "And tell everyone in the department not to pass by here until we come out."

Choi glanced at Aki and Kippei apologetically and closed the door behind him. His voice echoed in the cubicles for the other staff not to go to where his office was until the CEO comes out. Once Choi's voice was far away and silence returned, Ringo's pensive stare went to Aki and Kippei who were standing side by side before him.

"Is it true?", he asked them.

Neither spoke a word.

Aki, however, felt her soul wanting to leave her body. She couldn't believe Choi's words came to fruition. It was comical in a macabre way. After her happiness, her world now was starting to fall apart.

"I will ask again, is is true?", asked Ringo one more time.

Aki tried to find the courage to speak, but there was no voice that came out. She was shaking badly in her place, her heart frantically palpitating in her chest. With her vision blurring, she tried to speak despite the fact her chin was trembling. As she mouth her answer, it wasn't her voice that spoke.

"Yes."

Kippei's voice wasn't firm as his answer came out half a whisper, yet it was audible enough to be heard.


	12. Chapter 12

Ringo's eyes never left Kippei's face. There was a pensive gleam in his wizened, old eyes that both Aki and Kippei couldn't comprehend. The room's atmosphere wasn't even full of tension, but it was bordering on melancholic, suffocating and even deadly. The air was heavy with anticipation from all sides, but there was an obvious element of pain lingering as well. No one expected this to happen, but like it has been said, "it was bound to happen some time". It just happened to be NOW.

"Why?", asked Ringo in a murderous tone. "Why would you opt for this?"

The very tone of voice he used cut Aki deeply. She was standing before her father, and even at her current age, she was reduced to when she was 7; shaking and trembling beneath her father's serious and obviously disappointed gaze. She couldn't even look up at him.

"Sir, I... have no words left to say, but my intentions for Aki have always been pure." Kippei, who stood beside Aki, raised his head up and Aki did the same thing. "My feelings for her have been sincere, yet I admit now, I have been a weak man for still keeping this up."

"Pure? You undergo an affair with a married woman and you call yourself pure?" Ringo frowned at Kippei. "Is this some ploy of yours for me to release the hold on Designs and Concepts, Ebihara? Seducing my daughter and corrupting the vows she's made before God and her family just to make your own selfishness work by you? And weak? You're not weak, you're an opportunist to get yourself ahead in work! Did you think by seducing my daughter, you can have her and the job opportunity in Nagoya?"

"_Nagoya...? What is happening in Nagoya? Kippei, what's in Nagoya?_", Aki thought, her eyes growing wide.

"No, sir. This is a completely separate case and my feelings towards Aki are not driven by any selfish intent for a promotion or company benefit." Kippei kept his eyes on Aki's father and said, "I would never hurt her and am prepared for the worst, but I wouldn't hurt her nor the very family she has. This is wrong, I know. This is unforgivable, but sir, please listen to her." He lowered his head and bowed low before Ringo. "Please... listen to Aki."

"Listen? How could I listen to a lie that has been happening behind my back? You betrayed me! How could I trust someone like you, Ebihara?!" Ringo was about to lunge at Ebihara, but Aki stepped in the middle to keep her father from harming him. "Aki, get out of the way! This man is soiling my-!"

"Dad, let me explain, it's my fault! I am the one who started this and allowed myself for this to happen! It's not Kippei's fault! Dad, please!" Aki grabbed onto her father's sleeves, only to stagger back after a strong, crisp slap on her cheek.

Kippei kept himself still, yet his hand flinched, stopping just in time from shielding Aki before another slap crashed onto her face. He was still bowing, but the carpet didn't hide the tear drops that fell from his eyes. Aki stood in shock, the sting of the slap getting more and more painful as the seconds passed. She didn't imagine honesty was so painful and it hurt her to see Kippei dragged into her own mess. Tears escaped as she brought her head to face her father once more, only to be slapped stronger this time that tears were forced from her eyes. Aki couldn't break down nor sob; the pain of the slap containing her father's heartbreak at her indiscretion numbed her within from doing so, but she knew it hurt so much. She faced her father once more, this time looking remorseful and pitiful as she stood there trying to find the words to say.

Ringo looked very upset. His usually smiling face was ridden with disappointment and betrayal that he couldn't accept. "Aki, I couldn't understand how you could do this...", he told her. His eyes wavered to the side, his own body slumping at how unbelievable the current events are. "To even think I brought you up with love and showered you with affection... now even our family's dirtied with rumors of affairs like my peers... I did all to keep our family from falling prey to that, but you just had to...", Ringo couldn't even continue anymore as he put a hand to his face.

"Dad, you can't understand anything because you don't know anything!" Aki's resolve crumbled as she looked up at her father's face. She couldn't hide the feelings trapped within, the trapped emotions of pain and loneliness Koichi has caused ever since she said 'I Do'. Even though her cheek stung, her heart ached and her whole body shook; there was still a small ounce of courage left in her to tell her own father of the truth that she has kept hidden. "Dad... remember when we had lunch and you asked me if Koichi and I were okay..? I couldn't answer you then..." Aki swallowed her nerves. There was nothing else to hide. "Ai Yashida... you told me about her making rounds with your business partners husbands. Koichi... he..."

Ringo waited for her daughter to continue, but he beat her to the punch as his face clearly showed a lightbulb moment. He lowered his hand, looking shocked at what his mind was able to put together. He sat down on the chair near him and after seconds of silence, lifted his eyes to his daughter who was close to falling to her knees. "...he's one of them?", he asked in disbelief.

Aki simply nodded. "I didn't want to believe it as well, but Dad... the evidences were all over my face and I blinded myself on purpose because I thought... I thought that Koichi really cared at some point."

"And you, Ebihara... are you aware of this?", asked Ringo, turning to Kippei. "Straighten up, boy."

Kippei did as he was told. "I was aware of this, sir. Even before any romantic feelings were involved," he said.

Ringo looked up at Aki and Kippei helplessly, the shock of the whole affair on both parties becoming hard to accept and process.

Aki looked down at her shoes, her whole body feeling heavy as if weighed down by lead. She couldn't believe the unraveling of the affair was such an unexpected turn of events that she almost came close to cursing the skies outside Choi's office. It was a sunny day outside, with the sun's beams shining in his office, but the people inside were bluer than blue. There were no words exchanged, but at least the truth was out. No one wanted it to happen but it had to so that everything could be set right again, but how?

How can things go back to how they were supposed to be when there were so many wrongs that broke it all apart?

"Sir, I am also at fault in this, and I would like to ask for your forgiveness for causing you this immense heartache and disappointment, but I..."

Aki couldn't bare face Kippei as the goosebumps on her skin seemed to know what he was going to say next. "_Please... Please, no, Kippei... No..._", she prayed, the tears now large orbs streaming down her face. Her insides were churning.

"... I love your daughter more than anything in the world and more than my job. She didn't deserve all the cruelty and sadness she had to endure. And you sir, didn't deserve this from me, both of us." Kippei kept his voice firm, but there was an unusual thickness that shadowed the fact he wanted to sob and Aki knew of this so well. It was the same voice he spoke in when he told her of Kouhei, his brother. "I love Aki, Mr. Gojo, and will always care for her with my all.."

Aki grabbed hold of Kippei's hand without thinking, and she was right. Her insides were right. The way Kippei held her hand tightly said it all however, she couldn't shake the feeling of dread that came along with it.

"..but I came to your office today to pursue the job opportunity that was opened for me in Nagoya. I submitted the papers already even before your approval because I thought this could be good for me and the company."

"What?", said Aki and Ringo together.

Kippei slowly let go of Aki's hand and turned to face her. Aki wasn't expecting the events that were following one after another.

"Kippei... you're... you're going to..." She couldn't continue what she wanted to say, but she could see the answer in his eyes already.

Kippei shook his head, a sad and tragic smile on his face. With a gentle hand to her cheek, he kissed her forehead boldly and said, "You made almost all my dreams come true, Aki... Thank you.. You have always been the love that I always prayed ever since Kouhei passed away.. however, we need to stop this." Kippei stared into her eyes, his eyes gleaming the stern resolve that his heart wants to take back. "Even if we made each other happy, it's wrong. No matter how happy we are and how beautiful this dream we made is... you and I can't really be. You and I... we both need to go back to our realities now."

Imagine a wall falling on you, crushing you beneath its' weight. Aki could feel the walls of her heart crumbling and being destroyed by Kippei's words, crushing her spirit the longer she stared at his face. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, never to bring her back again to the land of the living as the graveness and seriousness on his face was too sure to contest. Weakly, with trembling hands, she tried to hold him, only to be met with a coldness that was similar to the one she felt even before they involved themselves in the affair. Tears couldn't be controlled, couldn't be held back anymore, yet Aki drained herself dry just to keep herself still standing. The warmth of his hand on her cheek now burned her, and she can only turn away to escape the pain. She stepped back from Kippei, her face contorting from the cut in her soul and she no longer wanted to be in the same room with him and her father. She suffocated. The spotlight now shone on her, and even though Kippei called on her name several times, he sounded so far away. It was such a deafening defeat, with her whole body numbing itself so she won't lose herself in the horridly sobering fact that everything was now in the open.

The honesty of the affair brought upon Kippei's separation from her.

In that simple sentence contained the most sobering form of common sense... but Aki wasn't one to recognize such a thing.

She wasn't sure how it came to be, but with all her strength she pushed Kippei aside and ran from Choi's office without making a sigh, sob nor anything else. People moved out of her way, and there was no one who could hold her back.

"Aki!", called Choi's and Yahiko's voice as she passed them by her desk.

She ignored all of them, the world around her was a lie and they were all trying to make her stay, but she didn't want to. Grabbing her things hastily, she quickly made her way to where her car was parked as fast as her feet could carry her. She drove out of her slot, almost running over Choi and Yahiko who chased after her, and as Aki sped by, managed to catch a glimpse of Aki and her father. The sun's rays betrayed her, her veins now containing the coldness of her shame and suffering; all the memories that had transpired making her head throb and she just wanted all to stop so she can breath through the sobs.

Why?

Why did it have to be now?

Why did it all have to end just when she was just reclaiming the happiness that Koichi stole from her?

How could the world be so mean to her?

Aki didn't know where she was going or how fast she was, but all she knew was she wanted to drive away to where she can be alone and lose all traces of Kippei and Koichi, her father, her friends... she just wanted to leave and vanish, never to be remembered and just be at peace. She didn't want to be found, and even if her phone now blared with calls from whoever, she turned a deaf ear and continued on to find where she can be alone.

* * *

Why is an affair wrong?

Is it because it is done out of a whim? Is it done to escape the foulness of a marriage gone stale? Is it done out of lack of love for your spouse? Is it done for the thrill and the excitement of being caught?

Why do people see it wrongly if it makes them happy?

What if you have an affair because you didn't feel love in your marriage and you were treated poorly, is that wrong? What if you were unwanted and your own spouse didn't want you and then you had an affair to validate your worth, is that wrong? What if your spouse only sees you not even his equal and your spouse leaves you to find your own happiness and belonging without him/her doing his/her part, is that wrong too?

If someone chooses to have an affair, are they called evil even without knowing what their reasons are? If someone chooses to do an affair just for recreation and to escape boredom, people usually say that's wrong, right? If someone involved themselves in an affair and the other half isn't by all means affected at all, who is wrong in that situation?

If you had an affair and you fell in love with him/her, who are you going to choose? You have to choose soon, right?

Is this form of momentary happiness worth the paralyzing pain afterwards? Is happiness really what you want? What form of happiness do you really want?

Why do you want to be happy? Why do you love? Why do you seek love? Why do you want to want to be loved?

Do you deserve to give and receive it?

In this affair, which love should prevail? In this affair, who is deserving of love?

If an affair brings sadness, why do people do it to seek happiness?

Is happiness wrong?

* * *

Aki opened her eyes and looked at the clock. It was just 2 in the morning.

She didn't move from the bed, her limbs phantomly weighed down. In the middle of the bed, she's curled up in a ball, the blanket covering her neck down as she blankly stared at the wall of the room. Her eyes made out the intricate designs of the wallpaper, but her mind just fizzled out from thinking of a proper compliment to think. The darkness of the room seemed like an ominous form of security to her, the moon outside the window shining its' silvery beams through the curtains. To her, everything lacked color.

It's been a week since she walked out on her life and trapped herself in the hotel room where she and Koichi were supposed to have their honeymoon. Instead, he just told her to sleep since he had work to do. A lazy, self-deprecating smile formed on her lips as she remembered that memory.

What a joke.

Aki heard her phone vibrate on the table but ignored it as she focused on her overnight bag resting at the chair by the dresser. She remembered going home from her office after it all broke out, took clothes and was in time to catch Koichi who was unexpectedly home. Shocked seeing Aki with a bag, he stopped her, only it earned him a fall on the floor once Aki pushed him away to keep him from blocking the door. She didn't bother bringing her car and commuted to the hotel, making sure she wasn't traced. There goes the buzzing sound again. Every hour it was always that, buzz, buzz, buzz and it drove her crazy; yet it brought her to reality too. That's right, there was no use living a dream anymore.

She looked at the bedside table as her phone vibrated again. She hasn't checked it since she checked in, not even bothering to answer the calls the came through. She just stared at it for a few moments, letting the buzzing sound echo all over the room and the lights from her screen flash. She sat up and reached over once the vibrating stopped.

Thirty plus messages from Choi, Yahiko, Kippei and her father all asked and said the same thing.

She scanned them all until she accidentally pressed on her screen just in time when a call came and the gesture answered it.

It was strange, very, very strange as she stared at the name. Unfamiliar feelings just pushed within her. It took several seconds before the person on the other line spoke and Aki just stared at her phone, trying to rattle her brain if she was seeing clearly.

"Aki... where are you?"

That voice. Usually it sounded so cold and made her feel unwanted, but now... it was soft and had a tinge of worry.

Aki held her phone tighter in her hands, staring at her screen. It was the only illumination in the room, but it showed the person's name clearly. Crystal clear.

To her, it highlighted what she'd been hurting within for. She was empty and she was caught off-guard with this call. She wanted to put the phone down, but she couldn't. There was something in her that held her hands in place. The call disarmed her from the defenses she had, but she knew she had to answer it at some point in time, even if the call came from..

"...Koichi...", she whispered weakly.

The voice on the other line mustered a small sigh of relief. It was the first time Aki heard him sigh like that.

"Where are you...?", he asked in a voice so quiet and gentle.

Aki didn't say anything but just let herself tear up. She felt like she was floating as she sat there with her back hunched and head bowed. Questions of unimaginable amount raced through her mind, but instead of asking, kept her quiet instead. He sounded so gentle, so delicate that it made her insides ache within intensely as her mind replayed his gentle voice again and again.

But another voice overlapped in her brain. Kippei's own gentle voice pacified her easier than Koichi's. Why now? Why was he haunting her like a ghost that fails to move on to the light? Aki willed Kippei's voice away and somehow and strangely she won, but until how long will the victory stay?

_"No... that's a dream.. This is my reality..."_, thought Aki as she closed her eyes.

The seconds that passed by seemed like an eternity with Aki still not answering. She still didn't answer him but simply sighed.

"When will you come home?"

Heart dropped and soul scorched within. Aki couldn't believe her ears as she heard Koichi sigh a little weakly into the phone once more. An uprise of emotions overwhelmed Aki and slowly, her own body moved. Legs were off the bed and walked over to where her bag was.

"Please... Aki, please come home to me..."

Closing her eyes, it seemed the be the kindest thing Koichi actually said to her. The reality she woke up to seemed to be easing a little to her heart, forgiving her for what has transpiring and wants to make amends for hurting her. She welcomed it, hearing Koichi something like that gave her a little joy that grew from the barren wasteland that was her spirit. She never expected he could give her that in a million years. Before she can say anything more, there was a noise at the end of the line that sounded like a door opening.

Koichi whispered to the phone. "Aki... I want you to come back home me... Aki, please just-"

"Koichi, what're you doing outside the bedroom? Come back to bed, I'm lonely without you there, plus your wife's photos on your desk bother me. You never had them like that on your table before."

"Can't you see I'm on the phone?", came Koichi's snappy reply. "Shouldn't you be going home now?"

Aki wasn't sure what else was said, but she did hear Koichi apologize to her, tell her that he was going to go where she was no matter what it takes.

And that her photos were on his desk.

He didn't have those before and Ai Yashida herself confirmed it. It no longer mattered she was Koichi, but her everything was now focused on what Koichi had told her.

Aki sat back down on the bed, clutching her head in her hands. She wasn't sure of what she was currently feeling, but she knew of a small happiness that came from when Koichi asked her to come home to him.

But why was it it felt so shallow compared to when Kippei said the same thing on the night they started their affair?

"Kippei...", she mumbled to herself, her eyes landing on her phone's screen, exactly on Kippei's message that told her it was indeed all over.

- Aki... I don't know where you are now or what you're doing, but I hope you are alright and safe. I  
know so many things have happened.. but please do not think all of this is your fault. I have my fair share  
of mistakes too, but never think I didn't love you. I still do, so much, in fact.  
I don't know if we will ever see each other again since I am going to Nagoya tomorrow morning. I just want  
to say I am sorry for all this, but not once did I regret..  
I love you, Aki... I always will love you. Please have a happy life. Goodbye.

Kippei -

Aki closed her eyes and put her face in her hands, little sobs escaping her.

Now, why is the pain of Kippei's last message overruling out the tiny happiness Koichi caused for the first time?

With the strength she had left, Aki took her phone and typed the words she dreaded to tell him. There was no choice.

Their dreams were over after all.

- Goodbye, Kippei. I hope you find your happiness. -

No lengthy replies. There was nothing else to be said from Aki's part. Her tears said it all and his message said it all too. She wanted to type more, but she had to stop herself. He was the one who told her it was done.

Their dreams were over.

. . . . .

- You too, Aki. -

And so there goes Aki and Kippei, their dreams left behind in exchange for the righteousness of their realities.

In the dreary, dark and cold hotel room, Aki laid back down on the bed the moment her tears dried up and saw herself staring up at the ceiling. With the grim facts of his departure already in effect, she can't finish her story on Kippei anymore. What else can she do regarding him as her subject for her article when he's now gone? There was no point, she felt, in continuing it. With a breath, she finally decided not to continue to finish her final draft for her submission. She'll leave it as is and let the whole of Japan and its reader's decide. What else was there to finish? What else was there to write?

She seemed so hollow now, as if part of her evaporated into thin air. There was no use in wallowing in something she'd have botched even before she started it. From the interview to the end of their affair; it was never meant to work out. She was never meant to submit her article and work a solution to her marriage.

It all made sense to her now.

It was her own reality and even though it ailed her to accept, she had to accept the fact she still had to grin and bear it.

Kippei did say after all they were going to move on together, and move on they shall.

Separately.


	13. Chapter 13

_It's been a month._

_Life is back to normal once more... but it doesn't feel the same._

_At times I still wake up in the middle of the night, Kippei's lingering touch and kisses opening my eyes to the bitter thought that he's no longer here with me. Everything is colorless... tasteless.._

_I have no reason left to think of him, sadly. The dream is over even before it began... I wish I could still keep on dreaming but no. Life isn't that simple._

_Koichi and I are trying, but it all falls flat. I came home to him and even if he demanded an explanation from me on why I left, I didn't answer. There is nothing to explain to him when in fact he knows why. He embraced me and told me he was glad I was home. I thought of it as some kind gesture from him... _

_Like a pat on the head from a master to a pet._

_Koichi and I have been spending more time together, carefully melding our lives as husband and wife and I can say we're getting somewhere, however, I can't put on my finger why it seems so wrong. He's home usually now, eats what I cook and asks how I am, but it's so... uncomfortable. Everytime our eyes meet, I am always the one to look away and though we have started laying in bed together as husband and wife, I can't seem to feel like I am wanted enough by him. I try, we try..._

_That's it, TRY. Not DO._

_The news of my affair have been kept a secret among me, my father, Choi and Kippei; but I have no qualms about shame or discretion if ever it all goes out in the open. It's like my body has taught itself to self-medicate and numb itself as days pass by. I get more and more unenthusiastic about things around me; the news of my article dropping out of the competition a huge wound in my company's pride. My father couldn't believe it, and I still have no reason to speak to him about why I did what I did._

_I am the only one who knows the truth..._

_...but who will listen?_

_My body knows the truth.._

_My soul knows the truth.._

_My heart knows it too.._

_What is the truth?_

_It lies deep within me._

* * *

"Aki, you look really pale..."

Yahiko grimaced at Aki who was drinking her tea quietly at her desk. She simply glanced at Yahiko and lowered her drink, a sigh escaping her as she gave him a smile.

"Well, I have been working too hard lately to compensate for my dropping out of the competition...", she told Yahiko. "Besides, the subject is miles away and I have no reason to go all the way to observe what he does."

Yahiko looked sympathetically at her, reaching over her desk and patted her head. "There, there, little one. At least the monster is gone now. You don't have to cram all night and write stuff about Ebihara anymore."

_That's right... Yahiko still doesn't_ _know..._ Aki thought, looking at Yahiko kindly. Yahiko has always been her bestfriend at work, the only one who didn't care about who she was in the company. There was a certain guilt that built in her that he still didn't know, considering the amount of shit he's already told her about himself. She stared at Yahiko who now started regaling her bits and pieces of his sexual exploits with his girlfriend at the beach, making her smile at how simple things were for him. _Ignorance is bliss, they say..._ she told herself, nodding as he now reached the part where in he was almost caught with his pants down by the lifeguards.

"You have no idea how I shocked myself running naked waist-down with my tallywhacker waving to the drunken crowd like a flag! It's hilarious now, but that time, I was just absolutely drugged on adrenaline so i wouldn't get caught!", Yahiko said with awe. "People were whistling at my package indecently and I got sand on it too!"

"Well, I hope you didn't attract crabs too, the REAL ones," Aki joked, a grin on her lips as she teasingly eyed Yahiko.

Yahiko pouted at Aki and sighed, tutting. "You're really nasty to me, you know that? And the fact that you're even laughing at me now makes it even worse...", he muttered, exaggeratedly sighing as he leaned back in his chair and stretched. "Will there ever be a level lower for me to stoop?"

"Why, yes, Kunori, lots more and it won't be a surprise,"

Aki and Yahiko turned their heads and saw Choi standing by their desk.

"Ah, you again. You always have to catch me at some extremely weird moment with Aki then you go making those stupid, witty quips of yours," grumbled Yahiko, shooing him away. "Go away, your presence is making me feel more horrible about myself. Let me wallow here in peace before I recopy my article for submission."

"Shut up. You get into those situations by yourself so don't even act all meek and pure. We all know what you really are," countered Choi as he sat down on the edge of Aki's desk.

Yahiko raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, what's that?"

"Half-man, half-dick," Choi simply answered. "Or half-idiot, half-potato."

"Fuck you, man. Whatever, geez, I'll head onto the copier," Yahiko rolled his eyes and got up from his desk and proceeded to the copier.

Aki laughed at Yahiko's inconvenience and turned to Choi once he was out of earshot. "What's up? You seem pretty bothered.. Are you still mad at me for fazing out of the competition?", she asked guiltily.

Choi shook his head no. "Not really, but I was wondering..." He looked around and seeing that everyone is busy, he leaned in and said, "How're you holding up?"

Aki knew this was coming. After that incident, she and Choi weren't really able to talk about it. There were lots to be talked about, but she wasn't sure where to start. She looked up at Choi and saw the concern in his eyes, making her feel relieved that he hasn't turned his back on her. "I'm... I'm alright... Just taking it day by day and I have nothing else to do but move on from it anyway."

Choi nodded, silent and taking in what she said. "Well... that is to be expected after all. Uhm, are you going to talk to your father soon?", he asked.

Aki didn't look at Choi and focused on her monitor instead, the question ringing bells in her head. "I don't know when's the right time."

"Bullshit, Aki, we're at this situation again." Choi sighed heavily. "When are you going to take matters into your own hands?"

Aki couldn't help but notice a certain tone in Choi's voice that felt wrong. She was about to ask him when Yahiko came back, plopped on his chair and looked at them shrewdly.

"You know what, you two have been seriously keeping something from me."

Aki and Choi just stared at Yahiko.

Yahiko looked serious now. "Look, I understand if it's serious, but do understand I am not immune when people are acting different."

Aki kept her eyes on Yahiko. Choi got off Aki's desk and clapped Yahiko on the shoulder before he passed by.

"Then maybe you should join me and Aki tonight for a drink."

* * *

Yahiko was drunk, but his eyes were wide open.

"YOU AND EBIHARA?!", he exclaimed under his breath, looking ghastly as he stared at Aki and Choi with wide eyes.

From day one until the end, Aki told Yahiko everything and didn't bother skimp on details. There was no point hiding it all from him since he was her bestfriend and didn't want him to feel left out. Aki looked down at her drink and watched the cherry bob up and down in the pink liquid, her whole body aching once more upon remembering the memories she's had with Kippei.

"I knew it! I was right!", Yahiko raised his hands and placed it at the back of his head. "I am surprised, Aki! But..."

He mellowed a little and smiled sadly.

"I think you and him were perfect for each other... I mean, if it's not me nor Choi, Mr. Ebihara seems to really have the best criteria in terms of being the man for you..." he said kindly.

Choi scoffed after drinking his beer. "Obviously, it's never gonna be you, Kunori. And may I ask, why haven't you ask us if you already knew the truth?"

"I didn't want to pry and I am one who doesn't push on unless I am told," Yahiko said, sipping his beer.

Choi's eyes grew wide. "That's... that's very unexpected coming from someone like you, man. Of all the years we've worked together, this is the first time I grew respect for you."

"I know, right? I am- HEY! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?!"

Aki giggled to herself as she watched and listened to Choi and Yahiko bicker. It was relieving her of the stress and loneliness she was feeling ever since she and Kippei said goodbye. The blur of Choi and Yahiko's insults grew softer, her mind trekking back to the time when she and Kippei were still together.

Back when they still had an affair.

Strange.

It wasn't as painful now as it was before, however, the memories wouldn't fail to bring her eyes a wetness that she's shunned for a long time. She tried to fight it, but at times she'd still crumble and find herself thinking of him at the most inconvenient of moments. Usually, when she's with Koichi. Now that she and Koichi were acting their parts at man and wife, Aki did her very best to suppress the questions and emotions that weren't able to be addressed to Kippei. Somehow, Aki thought, maybe it was for the best that she never got to talk to him anymore. Life had its way of having her move on, much to her dismay, but she wasn't one to resist since the reality of it was : she was married. She cannot just simply wave off her feelings for Kippei, but she also needed to love Koichi more for the sake of their vows and everyone's happiness.

What are her feelings for Kippei?

It was a question that struck her to sobriety now. Not once was she ever even able to address that.

"Is not!"

"Are too!"

"Damn it, Choi! Why can't you be nice to me for once?!"

"Why should I when you make it hard for me to be nice to you?!"

"You're such a-"

Yahiko stopped suddenly, not bothering to continue the insult he was about to hurl to Choi. His eyes were wide with mouth agape. To Aki, that same look was all too familiar to her. Scenes of Kippei looking the same at the cafe he worked on the night they decided to pursue the affair came to mind and Aki can only hold her breath.

"Shit," cussed Choi, who put an arm around Aki to keep her from turning around. "Don't bother, it's just going to ruin your night."

Aki felt herself turn weak and the blood flowing in her veins to turn cold. She waited until Choi's arm around her tensed, but she couldn't help but feel it was already too long. She stood up and turned around, the worst confirmed. Of all the places, it just had to be at the bar where they are. Oh well, Aki was bound to see it again and confront it, might as well be soon. Better yet, NOW.

"My, my, I guess there's no hiding it from your nosy wife, Koichi."

Aki found herself face to face with Koichi and Ai Yashida.

Koichi looked gray once he saw Aki, his eyes moving on to Choi who stood up from the table. Choi's face contorted to a scowl, with Yahiko stepping to his side, the same expression on his face too. Ai Yashida turned pale and her earlier smug face disappeared once her eyes darted to Choi.

"Why are you with that woman, Choi?", asked Ai to Choi, looking abashed and red.

For a split-second, AKi was surprised ai had the gall to address Choi by his name. The mere mention of his name brought about a hidden mystery she was sure to pressure Choi for to spill.

"Aki and this man beside me belong to my department at work. We are discussing the articles they passed for this month's issue," Choi answered Ai, looking very stern. "And you? Why are _you_ with that man who _isn't _your husband, _Mrs. _Yashida?"

The people around them grew quiet and people looked at their direction.

Koichi couldn't say anything but looked like a mouse caught in a trap.

"Aki, let's get out of here," said Choi, who motioned for Yahiko to follow. Before he could pass by Koichi, he stopped and said, "By this, I am pulling out the Watanabe investments from your company. Handling assets that do not pertain to product growth and company incentives are certainly _not _the assets you are praised for."

The tension was so thick that a chainsaw was needed to cut through it. Aki wasn't sure what she was feeling and what she wanted to say, but within her was a bubbling outburst that was waiting to be provoked. Ai Yashida just had to be there, snaking herself around Koichi and there he was, not even doing anything.

"Choi, you are forgetting, my husband's money is the mere fund that keeps your father's company still alive," Ai smugly said, a smile on her lips. "And what right do you have to talk to me that way? You're just an illegitimate son born from an affair yourself. You should be more sympathetic and understand this is normal."

Aki looked at Choi and saw he was fuming. She couldn't understand and comprehend the vileness of the woman clad in red before her.

"Before mouthing off, be sure to know who you're up against. If this goes out, you're bound to be preparing for a funeral, rather than an opening for your father's retarded restaurant in the coming week. Your father is quite old and doesn't need any more heartaches, have some respect for his health." Ai now turned to Aki, an evil glint in her eye that was magnified by her smoky eyeshadow. "No one's bound to believe you and Choi. You're all but pawns in the business. The very wrong move can send all your hard work and your families' names to oblivion. Remember that. And don't be too disappointed," Ai placed a hand on Aki's cheek, leaned in and said, "This is all part of business. You're a businessman's wife, Aki, right? Don't worry, you can get your own taste of this too. Swapping husbands will be a normal thing for you. You'll soon know that not all things are sacred and that you just have to submit when it counts." She tapped Aki's face twice and clung around Koichi's arm again. "Come, Koichi."

Aki watched Koichi go with Ai with no hint of resistance nor hesitation. She couldn't believe he didn't even say anything.

"That bitch should be murdered," muttered Choi under his breath.

Aki wasn't sure what to say. She finally saw the affair for herself once more. What hurts now is that it just had to happen when she and Koichi were TRYING to be husband and wife, but it's now reduced to nothing once more. She clenched her fists, shaking like a leaf at the candor of the mistress who had them all by the tip of her finger. She couldn't do anything.

How Aki hated herself, but she had to let it slip.

Hearing her revelations towards Choi and the gruesome facts of the business world, Aki couldn't believe that Koichi was okay with it. He did nothing but just stand there and look surprised that finally his own wife saw it with her very own eyes. How would he feel if he was told Aki knew of it even before?

How would he feel if he knew that Aki and Kippei were also doing what he was doing behind his back?

Aki felt herself close to laughing darkly. The whole situation was comical and ironic.

The mistress had the upper hand of things and she controlled everyone like pieces in chess.

"So... are we going to kill her too?"

Aki and Choi looked behind them and saw Yahiko looking bleary-eyed.

"Dude, for a hot chick, she's fucking Satan," he said regretfully. "I'm sorry man... Bitches like that have to be doused with holy water and condemned back to where they're from." He clapped Choi on the shoulder sympathetically. "I still love you even if that woman said shit 'bout you, but know this, she won't be talking big later on."

"Is what she said true?", asked Aki feebly. She patted Choi on the back despite the fact she needed her own support to keep standing. After all, what Ai said to Choi to his face wasn't really something you blurt out in a public space and just leave without anyone feeling degraded.

Choi nodded. "My father... he had an affair and had me outside his marriage." He looked at the blur of the people before him and continued on. "His first wife was so devastated that she divorced him... I met his children from his first marriage and they're not exactly pleased to acknowledge me as their brother from another mother. Dad got into gambling so much after the divorce, leaving him almost betting his company and stocks until he became friends with Yashida." The very thought seemed to torture Choi. "Bit by bit, he was loaned money to regain what he's lost and we were finally able to get back on track, but not without agreements and contracts done under the table."

"But why is it you know that woman?", asked Yahiko. "Was she already married to the old dude when the transactions were happening?"

Choi shook his head. "No. She was still single when we met. I just got news that she was already married to the the old man when we saw each other at a business meeting. I was with my dad and that was the time I saw your husband for the first time. I was introduced to him, but I had to leave immediately. If you remember what I told you before when I confirmed the affair to you, that was the night my father saw them in the act. I confirmed it that it was Koichi that she was seeing on the side prior to getting married to the fossil."

Aki remembered that day well.

Yahiko shook his head and swigged his room temperature beer. "Still, I think you should've sugarcoated that revelation a bit."

"I should've let Aki stay a fool all throughout this ordeal, is that what you're saying?", Choi sarcastically asked after sipping his own drink.

Aki tutted and gestured for them to sit once more. "Okay, and then? Before moving on to me, you can go and finish your story first."

"Ai Yashida was supposed to be married to another businessman her age, but her parents wanted the older Yashida because her supposed-betrothed's family was having a business crisis that time and Ai's family needed the money badly to keep their lifestyle afloat. It was unclear how it came to be, but thing is, she cut off the engagement for the older Yashida, but has also been seeing another businessman aside from the man she was formerly engaged to." Choi looked unsurely at Aki.

Aki urged for Choi to go on by looking eagerly at him. "Go on, I've heard worse."

"I was the one she was engaged to since there was no son left for Father to give away, however, she and Koichi have already been seeing each other while our engagement was still legit."

"WHAT?!", Aki and Yahiko exclaimed together.

Aki wasn't sure how to take the information. She watched Yahiko order another round of beers for them, her mind processing how everything turned out.

No wonder Choi looked like he's always had some secret to divulge to her all this time. No wonder he was so affected by her husband and wasn't pleased to see him. It was no longer a mystery why Choi knew so much. He was caught in the middle. Aki pitied Choi for the choices and decisions his father made, let alone the cancelled engagement and having his fiancee see someone on the side. Ai Yashida was a snake and opportunist who took all she can and was greedy enough to get more even if it was wrong. Aki couldn't believe someone like her was alive. Looking back, everything now made sense. She was destroying lives and she was destroying more if she continues to breathe.

"Choi... why then, are you helping me?", asked Aki.

Choi smiled bitterly. "Mind you, I don't have any feelings for Ai in any way. I haven't even met her when I was told I was arranged for her. All she has on me is her husband's money, other than that, she doesn't know we've almost paid it all back. See, she's causing a huge amount of strife to form and if that continues, YOUR family will be affected, Aki. And it won't be pretty. You'll be stuck in that rut for the rest of your life."

"The Gojos?" Yahiko looked perplexed. "That's impossible, her Pops is an independent figure in business and is not in all that hullabaloo with affairs and shit."

"Not yet, but I did hear Yashida is interested in your father's stocks and assets." Choi leaned back on his chair and looked reflectively at his beer. "There is a real reason why Koichi married you, Aki, and it's not what you think."

Aki always knew that Koichi married her for business, but she never imagined there was more reason for him to still keep her but not love her.

_ You think marriage is something so sacred? This is just a mere transaction to me. I'm just preserving my status as a man with a very credible reputation. I am used to getting what I want, Aki. Whether it's money, properties and even manipulation of people; I have the capacity and ability to monopolize everything around me just to get ahead._

Those words strangely echoed in her mind. The thought of it brought upon a severe feeling of dread and her father's face came flashing into her mind's eye. There was worry that came now and she can only sip her drink as she racked her brain harder.

_Very impressive, Koichi! This is why I chose you to be one of the board members! Your choices have done nothing but impress me in the boardroom, but your domestic choices have too! _

_Mr. Natsukawa, your wife totally has given me a reason to consider you more for the position you are vying for!_

Aki stopped from bringing the martini glass to her mouth. Slowly, she looked at Choi with shock as she finally understood everything that has been happening.

"So, are you going to talk to your father now?", asked Choi.

There was no time to answer. She took a gulp of her drink and laid down a bill to pay for their drinks. She bolted out of the bar and hailed a cab to the direction of her father's office.

Aki needed to see her father.

Now.


	14. Chapter 14

Ringo looked surprised at the sight of her daughter looking disheveled and sweaty at his door.

"Kiddo, you mean to tell me you ran from that bar to here?", he asked in disbelief, handing her a glass of water and offering her a seat on the couch of his office.

Aki gratefully took the glass and glugged down the contents in three large gulps. "Yes, Dad. We need to talk," she wheezed, wiping her brow on her sleeve.

She was thankful that she was able to catch her father before the meeting he was going to have, but was now pressured to tell him of what she just found out. There was no telling how her father would take it, but if there was one thing she learned, the truth just had to come out soon. This time she was taking it in her own hands.

"Let's talk later, your Uncle Kaito is in the other room and he brought along his wife to tell me more about the land Yashida has been offering us. I also need Koichi here too so if you could please call him, I'll treat you both to dinner after."

Aki looked up at her father pleadingly as she grabbed on his sleeve. "No Dad, it has to be now, and he's already eating some place that isn't a restaurant, I assure you."

"But kiddo, I-"

The door to Ringo's office opened. A stout man accompanied by a fairly stout woman emerged all bedecked in expensive glory.

"Ah, Aki," said her uncle, a happy grin on his face.

"Uncle Kaito..", she panted.

"Dear, you look so tired! Did you run?" asked the wife.

Aki wasn't sure how to start but upon seeing her Uncle's wife, she suddenly remembered something.

_ ...it's because Yashida's wife was seen with another man who wasn't her husband in a resort hotel one weekend. The one who saw it happened to be Kaito's own wife who went there to take their grandkids for a vacation. She even managed to see the man's face and managed to capture a photo of them together acting quite loosely on the beach. Blasted pair couldn't even wait to just hold it until they got to their rooms! Considering that fact, she advised Kaito not to strike the deal._

Koichi couldn't strike a deal with her Uncle Kaito's company. He told her that after Ringo called her one evening.

Hastily, she took out her phone and searched her photos app for her wedding picture with Koichi, but all she saw was photos of her and Kippei in various stages of love and affection while their affair was still alive.

"Kippei...", she mumbled, feeling herself weaken once more upon seeing Kippei's handsome, smiling face. It was as if he was still smiling at her from the photo.

A month has come and gone and they haven't talked; with her whole being trying hard not to text him and contact him. She was trying her best to be a dutiful wife to her husband since she told herself that she and Koichi will try to save their marriage; but it was difficult having to have all of Kippei's mementos to remind her of the sincere happiness she knew with him. Kippei's business card in her wallet still faintly smelled of him, and at times Aki actually sniffed a little, only to end up confused as she tortured herself with memories that will never come to be again. She scanned the photos in her phone one by one, her heart dropping within her as she understood and realized that she needed to indeed move on. Kippei after all hasn't contacted her and presumably must be doing well, why can't she be the same?

He was the one who said goodbye so there was no point in wanting what was over now.

The whole situation she was in now proved to be extremely tortuous that she was torn in saving her marriage or thinking of Kippei. Morals and law were too powerful to contradict and there was no telling what went after if ever she started dreaming again. Aki, though bound still to Kippei through the photos, made it a mental note to erase them once all of it was over.

For now, she needed to save her family name.

"Ah, here," Aki handed her phone over to her uncle's wife. "Dad told me Uncle Kaito couldn't strike a deal with Yashida's company was because of a rumor surrounding his wife."

The woman peered at her phone and laughed a little as she rummaged in her bag. "Dear me, yes, I do remember that very well. Pardon, I need to get my glasses for a moment."

Her uncle took her phone and looked at the photo. "Yes, this is the man who kept visiting my office and asking to open an investment with Yashida's company."

"That's Aki's husband, Koichi Natsukawa. I believe you're that senile already, or you just didn't remember much except for the food at my daughter's wedding reception," teased Ringo.

Aki smiled at her father. It was calming to see her father joke around even at that time when businesses can be destroyed.

The woman finally had her spectacles on and peered at Aki's phone. "Oh my! This man!", she exclaimed.

Ringo's smile disappeared and Aki can only look eager.

"This was the man Yashida's wife was with at the resort! I still have the photo at home!"

Aki looked at her father. "Dad, if you're meeting up with Yashida, don't bother go into business with him. Don't," she said hurriedly.

Her body was shaking and her veins were pumping adrenaline. The rush was too much to contain. She felt light-headed all of a sudden and her father's voice seemed to be so far away.

"What's he got to do with Koichi aside from the fact he's his boss? Aki, I haven't gone into meeting with him and have no plans in doing business like Kaito," Ringo reassured her. "Kiddo, if there is something you need to tell me, tell me now."

"Yes, so we can protect ourselves and our companies. The Yashida Group has been too adamant in expanding their businesses that even small-scale ones cannot start and flourish. That alone can damage the economy if only one economic powerhouse will compete in the stock market," said her uncle, urging her on.

Aki was now sure she was close to feeling faint. There was no doubt about it and it's not caused by the alcohol.

"Dad... Koichi's vying for right-hand man position in Yashida's company. Gojo Group and Rikumori Holdings belongs to Koichi's account and you're the only two left who hasn't invested in them or sold them your stocks and assets. That's why he married me, Dad, so Yashida can buy your company bit by bit. Once he gets you two to sign, he gets the promotion and your companies will be gone."

There was a stifling silence in the room.

Ringo let out a quick huff and laughed shallowly. "And it all makes sense now. It just makes too much sense." He looked down at his daughter kindly and closed his eyes for a bit. "No wonder Koichi was always there when I was to meet with Yashida and he always brought up the company whenever we get a chance to be together."

"From what I remember, his wife is the one handling the companies in Koichi's account and they all easily become bankrupt with no reimbursement statements, nor stock updates to let the owners know how their group is performing in the market. Nothing, it all goes bankrupt," said her uncle, a frown on his brow. "Aside from a, what they call a' calamity fund', there is no even known nest egg as provision to the owners who signed with them."

"In simple terms, you get nothing once the money is gone," Ringo muttered. "How despicable... we get bankrupt and hardworking people lose their jobs... What kind of a monster is Yashida turning into?"

Aki sighed, feeling content that all was finally in the open.

Aside from the business dilemmas...

...is there any room for her to be able to redeem herself and her own life that was shattered by her own husband's philandering?

...is there any room to be able to start anew amidst all these new controversies and truths that have surfaced?

She's finally managed to prevent her father's economic demise, but what about her? What has she gained from all this?

"Dad, I don't know what else to say, but if it's alright, I'd want to go home and talk to you tomorrow..." she sighed heavily.

Ringo nodded his head. "I understand. I'll visit you tomorrow at your home. This is just among us for now. We need to get more evidence that this is the truth, and Aki," He patted her head tenderly just like a father should. "Thank you... for helping us."

A tired smile spread on her lips and she can only nod and embrace her father. "Dad, you always know I have to watch over you," she teased lightly. "Anyway, I have to go home. Koichi might beat me to the door. I wouldn't want him escaping this."

Aki's vision was blurring and there was a strange weakening in her limbs. Maybe it was the fatigue from overworking herself to forget Kippei.

"AKI!"

In a heavy slump, she fainted when she stood up to leave.

Fatigue?

Maybe.

* * *

"_Oh god what the hell is that smell...?_"

A savory scent wafted around Aki, but it made her feel sick to her stomach. Aki slowly opened her eyes and looked for the source of the smell. She still couldn't make out where she was, but she felt someone holding her hand. Looking to her left, she saw a man whose head was on the mattress of the bed she was laying on, his hand holding hers deftly in his grasp, and beside him was a try of food with the plates covered in cling wrap. Everything was white and smelled too clean. Her eyes wandered to the man once more and Aki realized he was wearing a suit.

"Nnngh.."

Aki didn't say anything more and just watched the man straighten up slowly and rub his eyes.

"Koichi..", she croaked, seeing her husband groggily rub his eyes before her without letting go of her hand. She wondered why he was there.

"Aki, you're awake," he said softly to her. He leaned in closer to have a good look at her. "How are you feeling?"

Aki didn't answer him but just stared back at Koichi, mentally asking him what he was doing there with her when he should be with the other woman. She looked around and saw everything in the room looked sterile. Now that her surroundings became clearer, Aki now realized she was in a hospital room.

"What am I doing here?", she asked blankly as she sat up. "And can you please put the tray at the other end of the room, Koichi? The smell is making me sick."

Her head still ached and she was weak all over.

"You... fainted. Your father called me up when he was already on the way here with you," Koichi told her. "I immediately went here as fast as I could." He stood up and wheeled the tray to the makeshift table and chair near the television set a few feet from the bed. He checked the tray and went back to Aki, taking her hand in his once more. "You don't like beef stew?"

Aki turned her head to look at him, analyzing his features. He had a neutral expression, his eyes just looking at their hands which remain clasped. It was odd. His hand around hers didn't seem natural, not like...

"What did the doctor say?"

"The doctor said you were overworked and fatigued from working. Aside from that, you need to come back tomorrow for a check-up. Seems like the doctor wanted to ask you personally about your lifestyle and diet."

Odd. Really odd.

Aki nodded and once Koichi told her she can now go home with him, she gladly wore her shoes and left with him to go back home.

Inside the car, Aki felt disgusted she was sitting at the car seat where Ai Yashida once sat; the memory of the night as fresh as a newly slaughtered pig. Aki felt her insides rise up her throat and she stopped herself just in time to keep herself from gagging. She looked back at the street and buildings zooming past their car, her mind in confusion as to why Koichi was with her that moment.

"Aki... what you saw earlier..."

She didn't face him. She recalled how Ai Yashida was cruel enough to humiliate Choi and tell her that her marriage is nothing but a business sham. That alone didn't register to Aki well, and now the Koichi wants to talk about it, she didn't feel like building the enthusiasm to discuss it.

"There's no need. She's right after all," she plainly told him. "There's no point talking about it. You didn't bother tell her off for mouthing that way to me; that in itself is understandable."

Koichi didn't say another word.

Once they were settled once more in their apartment, Aki finished taking a bath then went to the kitchen feeling particularly thirsty. It was weird since she remembered drinking a lot of water before they left the hospital, now she was thirsty even more. She went to the fridge and got a bottled water. As she was drinking it, she felt arms wrap around her from behind, making her almost spill her drink.

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking back at Koichi, who didn't answer her and kissed her instead.

Aki was surprised, but the seconds wore on and she found herself relaxing as Koichi touched her wantonly. Koichi eased her up on the counter, placing himself between her thighs as he slid a hand under her pajama top. Searching hands wandered on her skin, touching her sensitive peaks and Aki was surprised again since she was receptive to it, but her mind and heart was telling her it was... strange.

"Will you let me take you tonight?", whispered Koichi to her ear, a palm on her breast with his thumb brushing her sensitive peak.

Her body reacted in a way Aki's never felt before, with his touch sending a jolt of pleasure through her, but she was aware that her very being was at odds with it. Aki looked down and saw Koichi's protrusion from his sweatpants, her very own entrance turning moist at the poke. She felt there was something different about her now, and even if her body was agreeing to Koichi's initiative, she couldn't bring herself to get in the mood.

"Sorry, Koichi, my body still feels weak..." Aki hopped off the counter and without saying anything else, went into her room and left him alone.

As she laid in her bed, her mind processed the recent events that have unfolded. Now that she has admitted what she knew to her father and told him of Koichi's real intentions, she wondered how everything was going to be. She knew everything was bound to be a mess, but thing is, on her part, Kippei was no longer a problem since he was already in Nagoya living his own life. They no longer had any contact, with Aki doing her best to move on and be a dutiful wife to Koichi, but it was now back to square one since she's seen Koichi with Ai once more. Aki implanted in her mind that his lies and infidelity weren't going to end like she wanted. Maybe Ai was right, being a businessman's wife, she had to endure it to save her name. Like Ai, Yashida said, she just has to accept it that way. Her heart couldn't control the ache, her whole body anxiously rolling in bed as if searching for something she couldn't grasp again. Aki knew what that was. Memories of Kyoto entered her mind, with Kippei telling her everything about him, how they laid in each other's arms basking in the fact that they have indeed become closer and that Aki knew him a little better than anyone else. She recalled how happy she was with him, strolling at the temples and just basically being themselves without having to think of anyone else. Both of them that what they were enjoying was something illicitly taboo to everyone else, but it made them happy and introduced them to things they never saw before. Aki has never felt so happy, so wanted and womanly in her entire life until she met Kippei and started the affair with him. Koichi couldn't even give her those feelings since he was too busy cavorting with his mistress who apparently has gone through his other colleagues. How Koichi can stomach that was just a mystery to Aki, but she only hoped each and everyday that he would change. Aki will forgive him and take him back anytime since she was his wife after all.

A wife must be a picture of beauty and grace, that even in the face of adversity and struggle she'd still maintain face and take everything with no complaints but still come out smelling like a rose.

Aki didn't like that. She had complaints and wasn't one to take all in stride. Even if she hoped for Koichi's redemption and change, she was thrown deeper into her pit of self-pity since he was too insensitive to actually feel the guilt of making her feel like shit. The pain and challenge of it all made her commit such a crime that she never thought she'd do, but it was all thanks to Koichi's own hand and doing. Truth be told, Aki was guilty at some point, but the more she thought of Koichi mistreating her even if she loved him so much made her resilient to the fact that committing adultery was wrong.

Adultery IS wrong... IF you get caught.

That was Koichi's creed even without telling Aki. It made sense to her that he was still doing what he was doing since he wasn't caught, but when Aki finally saw him with her very eyes, everything changed.

She now understood why he couldn't resist.

Each secret moment she and Kippei shared was bliss, however, one thing Aki was sure of was that it wasn't as carnal and primal as compared to Koichi and Ai's. There were their souls that shared their pains and sorrows, their hearts carefully accepted each other's harsh realities and always was there to understand, with their minds always still thinking of what lay beyond closed doors if ever they were caught. They weren't careless, they weren't reckless; in fact they cared too much about the people about them even if they lay in each others' arms and kissed even if they shouldn't. They cared about each other to the point that they can only stop dreaming for both their sakes so their lives wouldn't be destroyed. The affair was beautiful and full of wonderful things Aki never experienced in her marriage. Even if they were separated by miles and her marriage, Aki knew Kippei will always have a place in her being and that their affair will always be the best memories she's ever had. The emotions and thoughts she had back then may have been somewhat selfish, but she couldn't regret at all; most especially when she was sincere about everything. She was free to give and receive without any hesitations as she knew that Kippei will always take her as is.

The part she actually missed about it was... the affair actually made her feel she was free.

The smiles of Kippei filled her head, his voice phantomly whispering words of affection in her ears and the warmth of his embrace wrapped around her that moment, and she can only close her eyes to savor what she will never experience again. Aki was brought once more to the part where in she had to cast away such thoughts of him...

She has Koichi and they're trying to save their marriage, but Aki felt she was the only one doing her part..

..and that Koichi seemed to still think of everything as a joke.

Aki looked at her hand and remembered how Koichi's hand holding hers felt. The awkwardness won over the heartwarming sentiment that was supposed to be attached to his gesture. It wasn't something familiar to her...

Not unlike Kippei's warm hand around hers. From the night he accidentally held her hand when he took the garbage from her in the hallway, his own brand of warmth stayed with her ever since.

"Kippei...", she mumbled to herself, her body suddenly feeling hot at the mere thought of his face, voice, body and everything.

She remembered their passionate sex, but only to retract the word as she remembered him say it was more on 'lovemaking'. She recalled all those steamy nights and how his touch lingered on her skin, his lips claiming every part of her and his very own manhood showing her that he was absolutely enthralled in taking her again and again. Aki remembered the sensations of the kisses, the touch and the very act itself.

A sudden idea came into her mind, and she hoped Koichi was still in the mood to let that idea be real. If she cannot have Kippei to satisfy her that night, might as well have the next best thing. Koichi can even indulge himself if he wanted. Aki might even allow him to do whatever he wanted to her. But why? Why the sudden thought? Why the sudden surge of emotion? There was a rage that was building in Aki and she knew whatever she was feeling now was part of it. The disgust and the humiliation she had to endure and face because of Koichi's infidelity was making her do it. She wanted Koichi to make love to her the way he takes it out on Ai. They already laid in bed as husband and wife, but it wasn't what she had hoped nor expected. Now that she was desperate for Koichi to stop what he was doing, Aki wanted to know how he fornicates with Ai just so she can size herself if she was a good lover. She wanted to taste how delicious her husband was in bed if she allowed him to treat her like a whore. Aki will purposefully and intentionally degrade herself tonight, hoping that after Koichi finishes inside her, she can finally understand what she lacked and realize what made Koichi be unfaithful to her. She didn't want to do it, but she had to.

Either way, she may win her husband back and even forget about Kippei.

Was it that easy when Kippei was the only one who claimed her in such a way that her body couldn't resist?

Aki got up from her bed, her mind only thinking of Kippei and her body reacting to the very thought of him and him alone. What she was going to do was something she never saw herself doing, but that was the price she had to pay for accepting things the way they are. Aki was torn between morals and wishes, what else can she do but choose what was best and choose the one that will still make the others around her smile. She was willing enough to sacrifice once more, that even if it scarred her deeply, she'd be humble enough to take it all in.

She was Koichi Natsukawa's wife.

She was Aki Natsukawa.

She married him a year ago and swore to be his until they died.

Even if she was torn inside, she was willing to let her duties as a good wife and daughter be prioritized. She can set herself aside. she can still continue to do that. She has no choice but to do that and she will.

She wanted to be happy... and she will be once everyone around her is.

That very same admission panged her, but Aki was determined to win her husband back.

She will fight for what was hers.

Maybe Koichi will fight for her too.

The only question is : Marriage is sacred and so is her love... but did Koichi really deserve to have it?

Blankly, she went out of her room and went to Koichi's. Before she can manage to knock, she heard him talking to someone on the phone.

"No. I can't."

Aki's ear prickled. Who was he talking to?

"Aki.. she needs me. I can't leave her alone most especially after she fainted. Yes, I had to fetch her from the hospital and I am sorry for leaving you in the hotel room. I promise I'll come back in a few. She's sleeping anyway so she won't know but I need to be back after three hours. Now? She's resting in her room..."

Aki's eyes grew wide and her chest started to constrict. _Please come back home to me... What the fuck was that about?_, she thought, her hands balling into fists.

"Of course... of course I have been thinking about you. I can't just easily get out since she might've told her father about it and she did see us. I am worried and- of course I know you won't let me take the fall on this one. She won't be able to do something since she lacks evidence after all." A little laugh escaped from Koichi. "No... no, I haven't closed the deal with her father and Rikumori yet. But I have to lay low for a while so I won't be able to see you yet."

Something in her gut rose up to her throat and Aki felt the need to vomit upon hearing Koichi's own intentions from his own mouth. Aki covered her mouth and closed her eyes, trying hard to compose herself as she still stood outside his room to listen to her husband talk to his mistress.

Just how longer can she endure Koichi's maltreatment? Until when will she allow herself to take all this?

Her father...

Her father's company..

The Gojo family name..

Koichi's family..

Koichi's reputation..

His job..

Their reputation..

Their married life..

She had to think of all this.

But the thing is...

..was Koichi thinking of all those too?

There was no time to waste. Despite the tears falling down her face, Aki stood defiantly and wiped them away. She's finally confirmed her worst fears, but there was no space to be the one tortured and the one who was going to lose. She was the wife, the other is just a mistress.

"Koichi?", she quietly called out.

Koichi was silent for a moment. "Aki?" His footsteps thudded and hurriedly went to the door. He opened the door and saw Aki looking up at him. "What're you doing here? Are you okay?" he asked her. "Do you need any-"

Aki unbuttoned her pajama top, letting it fall to the floor. She stared at Koichi and took one step closer to him, her eyes not leaving his as she gave him a look of lust that was mixed with an anger that burned within her.

Koichi eyed her up and down, obviously taken off-guard by his wife's own aggressive approach. Hi eyes grew slightly wide, but his body couldn't betray what he felt seeing her naked before him. "Aki... what... what're you-"

Aki wasn't fazed at all by her husband's surprise. "Fuck me," she told him.

"What?" Koichi was lost for words a bit. "Why?"

"Because I am your wife... and because I want you to."

Koichi stared at Aki, his face lacking emotion but he was thinking deeply for an answer.

Aki felt a little triumph in her. Obviously he wasn't expecting such a gesture from her, but she didn't want to stop just there.

"Are you having second thoughts in touching me?" she asked boldly. "Or is it because I am not a whore enough for you to do so?"

Koichi's brow twitched and Aki knew she'd hit a sore spot. Her face didn't show any other emotion but imposition.

"No... I just thought you didn't want me to," he told her.

Aki scoffed inside. Lie after lie again.

"I want you now, does it matter?"

Koichi's erection was alive in his sweat pants. Aki took another step closer and took his face in her hands, kissing him deeply with an aggression that fueled her from the inside. Torridly, she traded angry kisses with him, with Koichi having barely enough time to react but allowed her to do what she wanted. He closed the door of his room, took Aki in his arms and claimed her on his bed. His clothes lay discarded on the floor, the sounds of their lust all over the room and Aki was laughing inside pitifully as Koichi seemed so eager to lay with her.

"Fuck me, Koichi," Aki urged him as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Koichi looked down at her, completely engrossed in lust.

He entered her and pulsed inside her over and over, with Aki just looking at him beneath his weight. The bed rocked, with Koichi's moans and pants echoing in his room. Aki watched her husband pleasure himself using her and to her own little surprise hasn't seen him sweat so much, nor be so rough about it. It felt good, it felt delicious, but having the same manhood impale her which impaled the very mistress of the manhood's owner made her writhe. The anger dwindled as the minutes passed, and Aki's own body now understood Koichi at some point. He took her now because she offered him her body, and he was there to take. Aki finally understood. Koichi was still self-centered as ever.

Aki closed her eyes now.

As Koichi lowered himself and continued to take her repeatedly, tears released themselves from Aki's eyes. How she took Koichi wasn't something she imagined herself, but she wanted to know why he couldn't want her. She's already realized it now; she wasn't as bold and aggressive as Ai Yashida, she wasn't comfortable with her body and sexuality. Aki now saw that Koichi wouldn't touch her because she wasn't that cheap and easy to manipulate. He may have altered their marriage to his liking, even lied to everyone about a blissful union, but he wasn't able to have her all, per se. She still was her own person even if it hurt her. Having to act like a whore for Koichi that moment hurt her pride immensely; and laying there as Koichi fucked her like one hurt her more. Aki controlled herself, that even the pleasure of Koichi's manhood wasn't enough to divert her from the fact that Aki had to degrade herself for Koichi to lay with her. She didn't feel like his wife that very moment. From Koichi putting her in different positions to him telling her to be the one on top to do him, Aki felt herself reduced to a one-night stand.

What was Koichi going to do to her after? Tip her?

With Kippei, he loved her and made love to her with a fiery passion that burned from his very soul.

With Kippei, he loved her with a respect she's never received from Koichi and Kippei showed her what it was to be a woman.

With Kippei, he relentlessly put her first and treated her like a gentleman treats a lady.

Aki now felt herself close to release as Koichi's pulses were getting more and more vigorous. Tightly, she held onto Koichi, looking up at the ceiling and seeing Kippei's face in her mind's eye. Her body reacted defiantly to Koichi's pursuit, her body recalling those passionate moments with Kippei to keep her still wet for Koichi's pleasure. The mood has died, and Aki felt herself losing the will to continue on, but she had to.

It was her only form of revenge from the night Koichi whispered Ai's name in her ear, but was it enough?

"Kippei..." she mouthed, and finally felt Koichi filling her inside.

But he wasn't able to do it like Kippei.

Strangely for the first time, Koichi's own scent on her skin repulsed her. The smell of his passion made her sick. Koichi's sweat made her insides rise to her throat and her body broke into goosebumps from the discomfort. She still laid there, however, to wanting Koichi to notice anything. Aki held him a little more until his post-orgasm shivers subsided, and once he laid back down beside her, she kept quiet as she wondered why she was having these feelings and anomalies with regards to her husband at present.

Aki only laid there wondering if it was because of what was happening or there was really something else she needed to be aware of. Brushing it off once Koichi wrapped his arms around her, Aki herself sighed and closed her eyes.

For now, at least she can sleep a little in Koichi's arms...

The thought of him holding her through the night pacifying the nausea she currently felt, but still...

Koichi wasn't able to do it like Kippei.


	15. Chapter 15

"What's wrong?"

Aki held onto Choi's arm, grimacing as she clutched her stomach. Carefully, Choi tended to Aki by sitting her down in one of the chairs of the coffee shop near them. They were on their way to a meeting with a potential client whose cafe is making rounds in Roponggi for being the best upcoming restaurant for the year. Aki and Choi weren't given details on who it was, but the address was with Choi and all Aki had to do was follow him.

"I think I'm hungry or I'm getting my period," said Aki, leaning back on the chair she sat on.

Choi sighed, shaking his head as he looked down at Aki with his arms crossed on his chest. "Would you want me to get you some water? I do need some coffee too, to be honest. I haven't had anything to eat for breakfast since I needed to be at the office early for an online meeting."

"No, I'm okay. Let's get going. We have thirty minutes to get there before opening time."

Aki stood up, slinging her bag bag on her shoulder once more. She gave Choi a smile to tell him she was alright, only to feel the cramp again.

"Aki, you're not okay. I can tell," Choi told her plainly. "I may not be Koichi nor Kippei-"

The mention of Kippei's name made the cramp even more painful, making her grimace a little. Aki looked down at her stomach and found it odd that her body was reacting weirdly every time Kippei was brought up.

"-but I am not really that naive."

"Choi, you're not really helping. I bet this is just me losing sleep and I'll make sure to sleep throughout the weekend so I'll be much better," Aki persuaded, shaking her head. "Come on, we need to go to the client. Where did you say the address was?"

Choi took out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to her. "Here, it's just on the other street so no rush. Let's have coffee for a while. We'll be there before you can complain about your womanly strangeness again."

Aki took the paper and read the address, her whole body going numb as she looked up blankly at Choi. "Are you sure?", she asked weakly, her eyes wide and turning watery.

Choi nodded with no hint of hesitation. He wasn't even aware of what was happening to Aki from the inside out.

"Yep. I brought you along because the client, Mr. Hirai, wants you to do the story," he answered her.

. . . . . . . . . .

Staring up at the cafe, Aki felt herself go weak in the knees but wasn't given time to go so when Choi, without warning, dragged her inside. The cafe/restaurant was more beautiful compared to the last time she was there. Everything seemed to be so put together and the marble floors had a pristine shine to it. She looked around, awe taking over her as she took in the splendor that was all around her.

"This... this really transformed since the last time I was here, Mr. Hirai..." said Aki, obviously lost for words. "Everything is so beautiful.."

The owner nodded happily. "I am happy this still takes your breath away, Aki. It's all really thanks to you and Mr. Ebihara that this place finally prospered and is now making the top fifteen for Roponggi's best restaurants."

"You... you never told me you and Ebihara went here, Aki," Choi looked around, seemingly impressed at the whole interior of the restaurant. "This is amazing. I never really saw Kippei's works firsthand, but I am very awestruck at this place..." He turned to Aki, looking at her thoughtfully. "I understand now why you looked the way you did when I gave you address.. I'm sorry... I didn't know."

Aki smiled wryly, a lingering sadness present on her lips as she turned away. Her eyes were immediately caught by a photo on the wall. Slowly, she walked towards it, her heart pounding heavily as the photo brought upon memories that she kept tucked away in the deepest recesses of her soul.

It was the photo Mr. Hirai took of her and Kippei on the night she saw Koichi and Ai in the flesh..

..the night she succumbed to her affair.

Painful nostalgia embraced her as she looked at the photo and took it off its hinge; her eyes taking it all in. Her smile paired with Kippei's was a perfect combination, his arm around her felt so in place. She recalled the warmth of his body near her when the photo was taken and the gentleness of his hand around her shoulder.

She never thought looking at a photo could be so torturing.

"Aki..?"

A woman's voice called her gently, making her turn around.

"Sumire..."

Aki was surprised to see Sumire there. Sumire still looked still as beautiful as she did from the last time, her eyes still emanating a love so powerful that she couldn't veer away to hide her brimming tears. There was a knowing gleam in her eye that told her she knew what had happened to her and Kippei that it made her choke a sob out, but she still stopped herself as she tried her best to maintain her composure. She smiled at Sumire who went to her then wrapped her arms around her; her whole body breaking down as the floodgates were released. She remembered that day at the temple when she met Sumire for the first time. Both of them talked about Kippei and his brother, Kouhei, fondly, both of them were like wives to men who were on their own paths in achieving dreams, only to struck by fate's cruel hand as they both were torn apart by death and the failure of making their dreams a reality. Aki remembered Sumire's words; having Kippei search for his own happiness, and of course, her own. It didn't take much time for Aki to realize once more that Kippei was gone, and the happiness she was searching for all this time left along with him to somewhere far. The dream had turned to reality finally and she just wished she didn't wake up.

Tears escaped her eyes with no hint of stopping, with her ending up clinging onto the photo of her and Kippei as she let Sumire pat her back as she cried.

"There, there..." whispered Sumire to her kindly. "I'm so sorry, Aki..."

Choi looked on sympathetically and felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking to his side, he saw Mr. Hirai looking at Aki sadly, his milky eyes forming tears on their own.

"Like what I said before when they still worked together for this project, they were so perfect together.. that's why I wanted to immortalize both of them as thanks for making my own dreams come true.." he muttered weakly. "If it weren't for them, my dreams would still be just in the process of getting my hopes up... And I am an old man already.. but they pushed on and went through so much for me."

Choi looked down and felt the same. He lifted his gaze at Aki once more, hoping to say something, only to be taken to the back room by the owner for the article they were to write. Choi didn't protest and allowed himself to leave Aki with Sumire, leaving her to confront something she needed to be able to get on with her life.

That was what he wanted for her after all... and of course, her happiness.

Aki couldn't imagine herself crying once more during office hours, but there she was; sobbing and crying on Sumire's shoulder as she clutched her photo with Kippei close to her heart. She felt the world closing up on her once more, her heart being wrenched out of her chest as she felt the distance keeping her away from Kippei.

The world was unfair.

Her husband is making a fool out of her even after she'd already seen him, and the only happiness she ever knew left her.

Why?

Why did this have to happen to her?

She was always a good daughter, a good friend; did all her duties as a wife dutifully and kept her head up every time her husband made her feel like shit. She complained and took in the ache of her husband's infidelity, yet she faced it head on and still looked forward to loving him more and more each day... but why wasn't it enough for him to keep her heart bound to him that she needed to veer out of their marriage to find happiness and belonging? The affair was wrong in all aspects, but to Aki, it was the only right she saw in her apocryphal marriage. It was the only source of her sanity and smiles, that even though she knew all the repercussions attached to it, she clung on to Kippei because it was the only thing that showed her what it was to live with purpose, with love and with a smile. Even if guilt was present each time she accepted Kippei's kisses and felt the warmth of his embrace, she pushed it away for the sake of understanding that with her husband, she will feel none of it. There was no regret within her, but there was more emptiness as she knew that she wouldn't be able to experience Kippei's own brand of affection, respect and passion once fate intervened and took away the bliss she had with him.

Koichi treated her as a commodity ; Kippei treated her as his very own life.

"Sumire... it hurts so much..." she managed to choke out, clinging onto Sumire tighter.

"Aki... I just... I am so sorry..." Sumire sighed and continued to pat her head. "I came here from Kyoto to see Kippei, but I was told he was already assigned to Nagoya when I went to his office. I was hoping to give him an invitation to my wedding personally and of course, I wanted to see you too." Breaking away from Aki, she looked at her kindly with her thumbs wiping her tears. "He didn't tell me that he was moved away already."

"But... but how did you know of this place?"

"Kippei always told me of this place.. that this was the only assignment he had that he felt sure and whole." Sumire tucked Aki's hair behind her ear. "And that this was where he decided to take the leap and do something he knew will make him happy even just for a little while."

Aki's sobs dwindled, but the amount of tears seemed to be infinite.

"He and I still talked, but didn't mention how you two separated and that he was being assigned to Nagoya.. I just knew of it when I asked him how you were and he just told me that he separated from you because he wanted to move on to less complicated matters and new job opportunities." Sumire shook her head. "But, Aki... I know Kippei too well and I can tell he's suffering and lonely... Also, seeing you right now? I think there's nothing else that you want but to see him."

That was a hard pill to swallow and yes, she did want to see him, but that can't be. She was adamant in winning her husband back. She was going to fight for her marriage. She was going to work harder for her marriage. She was married and she can't chase another man for the sake of temporary happiness that will only be replaced by a need to jump the gun once more and have her do things that will only cause more strife and pain on her part.

She is Aki Natsukawa, Koichi Natsukawa's wife and they got married last year. She entered an affair because of her own husband's doing and she's now doing her best to be the good wife that she is, not wanting to smear any more secrets in their union. Aki Natsukawa promised before God to be there for Koichi in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, 'til death do they part. She had her family to think of, Koichi's family too, their family relationship and the good business opportunities that opened for both of them ever since they got married. She had to think of their own separate reputations, that a divorcee at her age was a huge shame to deal with and Koichi may incur losses and a demotion if his own reputation be stained with such a scandal. It was strange having such thoughts when her heart was screaming at her to just listen to it instead and let her mind take the backseat for now. Her heart was telling her to focus all her energy on Kippei for now, that she shouldn't think of anything else but him.

What Aki told her heart was she wanted to, but it hurt so much ; but her heart prevailed for that moment.

Kippei Ebihara...

He was a man who she loathed at the start for being so smug about himself; for being so 'high and mighty' that he had the audacity to look down at Aki and tell her off like how her in-laws did for botching her job and coming to work looking a disaster. Looking back, she recalled those ill feelings towards him, only to change once she saw that he actually cared enough not to let herself be a mess in the face of her job considering she was at a very crucial part of her career. Kippei cared enough to impart in her words of advice that Koichi wasn't able to give, and Kippei was man enough to apologize to her for all that he's said during the early stages of their developing relationship. Aki remembered the warmth of his hand, the jolt of electricity he'd often give her once his skin brushes hers and the feeling of losing her breath each time he'd look at her with his mysterious eyes. Each time they lay as man and woman in bed, the passion was just there, that every kiss and embrace was heaven and sin at the same time, but no one was telling them no and there was no place left to go but in each others' arms and stay there longer. Koichi was unaware of how happy she was with Kippei and Aki swore to herself that she won't say anything and will keep that secret to bring to her grave. There was freedom in the affair, in Kippei's words, his smiles and knowing stares that Aki saw herself being free and respected for her dreams and given a chance to be herself. Kippei, in return for her trust in him, shared parts of himself that Aki was sure he wasn't able to show anyone else. She was sure that she was the only one who he showed his pain to regarding his brother who he loved dearly. Beneath the facade of a man who's sternness won over the respect of his peers, was a boy longing to find the place where he belonged; who longed to find direction to move on from the emptiness he felt when the world took his brother away. Within him was the Kippei who was a hollow of a man searching for the path to forgive himself for not being strong enough to accept that he was too late in realizing his brother's dream; the Kippei who gave his all in his work, his life and to himself that he couldn't leave some for his own sake, however, he didn't care at all.

Kippei had her.

He made her feel that she was someone he can rely on, someone who can break him down and build him back into once piece once more, someone strong enough to accept him for his weaknesses and show him that it's okay to suffer and cry in order to be able to find peace. He made her feel needed, wanted and appreciated; and not once did he fail in showing her that she was someone valuable and worthy of his everything.

Aki felt whole and not once felt inadequate with Kippei..

There was a feeling within her that longed for those feelings again, to have herself be swept away in another world that didn't make her look like a fool; another world that was kind enough to show her that she was part of something and was accepted for who she was, flaws and all.

But now?

She wasn't sure at all where she belonged and what and who she was.

Sumire quietly sighed. "I'll gladly be with you in Nagoya if you want to see him... even if it's for closure."

Aki looked back up at Sumire. "You... you'd do that for me?", she asked. "You hardly even know me... except for the fact that I'm married and that he and I involved ourselves in an affair." She looked away, embarrassed, not wanting to meet Sumire's gaze. "It was wrong.. I cannot do that again.. But it hurts so much because that was the time I knew and was sure I was happy. It's wrong of me to think of Kippei and want to even see him, but I can't seem to come to terms with myself and end up crying when I shouldn't."

Sumire smiled kindly at Aki and shook her head. "That doesn't matter to me, Aki. I know how you are feeling." She looked to the side as if reminiscing something from long ago. "The tears you shed will always be the honest truth you won't say. Sometimes, Aki, when you can't say what you want, your body will make ways to release the pain you have. Through tears you will understand that even if you deny yourself what you feel inside, there will always be a way to see it in one way or another. Even if you wipe them away, there will always be more that will come and until you face that truth, you will always have these tears to remind you that you're lying to yourself," she said. Sumire took the photo from Aki's hand and looked at it with eyes that were starting to water. "Marriage is something sacred, but I highly doubt the sacredness of it is still valid if you cannot share your happiness and pain with the one you stood in front of the altar with. How can you be happy in dealing with everything alone most especially after you've taken your vows? I believe in marriage, that is why even if Kouhei has already passed on, I am willing to share my pain and everything to the one I want to be happy with. Kouhei would want that for me, to be happy and to search for my own place in someone's life."

"Do you... Do you still love Kouhei?"

It was a question Aki has been dying to know. The look on Sumire's face was something Aki wasn't sure of, but she was sure Sumire was at peace with herself judging from the calmness on her features.

"Love is eternal and love will always be there no matter where you go, what you are and who you choose. You don't just stop loving somebody immediately... you can love them a little bit more, maybe even a little less; but you just don't stop loving them since they had a part of you that you willingly chose to share when you were still together." Sumire sighed, her eyes misty. "Kouhei is someone I have loved for so long, but since he can no longer love me the way I hoped, the love I have for him now transcended into something I know that he will appreciate and that I know is at peace with my own heart."

Aki understood now and having Sumire there with her brought her comfort she never thought possible for that particular moment.

"The man you're with now... do you love him even after Kouhei?"

Sumire nodded. "I cannot compare my fiancee to Kouhei, but I am sure in his own right, he's someone I know who can show me that even if I came from a period of long, enduring grief, I can still always choose happiness. He's a wonderful man, Aki. And he knows all about me and Kouhei. To even think that he wanted to pay respects to Kouhei's grave and asked my hand in front of him, this man... This man I know was sent to me by Kouhei to love me since he couldn't be the one to do so. My fiancee is someone who accepted me, all of me, Aki. Love lost only rekindles with more love. You cannot love alone and you cannot receive any without someone willing to share it. Even after Kouhei, I know I can love more and again because there is someone there brave enough to whether the life I have chosen for myself with me."

Aki felt herself overwhelmed with Sumire's words that she can only cry once more and bury her face in her hands. Sumire and Kouhei's love story was tragically beautiful; the idea of love transcending into something more than what the normal person is accustomed to is something inspiring and at the same time humbling. Compared to Sumire, Aki realized she still had her choices and can still make changes in the present; all she needed was to be brave. The truth has been cast out so many times in the form of her tears that she denied herself that for so long, and she can only endure more of the pain her marriage has given her. Sumire was right, she cannot love alone. It was either Koichi returns her feelings or she has to fight mroe for him to see that she was the one for him.

But what about Kippei?

"Aki... do you love Kippei?"

Aki was whisked away from her thoughts as she lifted her gaze at Sumire.

"Love...?", she repeated unsurely. "Do I love him?"

_..You don't have to say you love me back.._

Those words echoed in her head and remembered how it felt. It was constricting and painful to hear Kippei say something so beautiful, but she couldn't give him the same beauty since she was tied to something that was supposed to endure for the rest of her life to someone who, not even once, said something like that to her. There was a pang in her that cut her deeply, her tears once more released from her eyes as she couldn't tell him because of her circumstance.

Sumire embraced her once more and softly said, "Very much, in fact..."

Aki felt the heat of her tears, tasted the saltiness and felt the sorrow the came with it.

It was the other truth that she had to recognize. The other was her marriage.

"You don't need to say it... because I'm sure you feel it. But, Aki, what will you do now?"

Honestly, she didn't know, but all she knew was she wanted to see Kippei.

"I... want to see him..", she managed to choke out. "Like you said, even if it's for closure..."

The choices were now crystal clear and there was nothing else left to do but accept the two truths that she had to choose from.

Sumire smiled eagerly at Aki and held her hands, looking at her tenderly like an older sister. Aki saw the support Sumire had for her and with a hug, thanked her for making it all the way to the restaurant to be clarified of her emotions and thoughts. If Sumire managed to brave through Kouhei's loss, she will also brave her loneliness to find where she truly belonged.

Even if it is for closure.

_But is that what you really want?_, her heart and mind both asked her.

Sumire stared at Aki quietly, observing her. Once she met her gaze, Sumire smiled at Aki benignly. "Sorry... you're just more beautiful now than the last time I saw you, Aki.." she said. "I think something good's happening in you. I guess I have Kippei to thank for this."

The way Sumire smiled at her seemed to know something she didn't know. Aki just stared at Sumire, curious. She noticed Sumire eyeing a particular part of her body but wasn't sure if it was her hand or chest. Maybe it was her stomach, she wasn't sure.

"What do you mean?", she asked. "Thank you, but I don't know what's Kippei-"

"You just have the glow of a woman in love, I guess.. I actually envy you, in fact," shrugged Sumire smilingly. "It's like... a part of Kippei is still inside you and you're taking care of it despite your situation. I am happy you still have a part of Kippei to cherish even if he's not here, and for that," She tilted her head to the side, giving Aki a sincere smile. "Congratulations!"

Aki's eyes grew wide. "Cong... gra... tulations?"

On what?

* * *

"I have been assigned to Nagoya for a couple of days. i bet you heard of the recent uprising in the city's labor sector, right?"

"So?" Koichi looked up from his morning paper. "When will you be back?", he asked with no hint of interest.

Aki shrugged it casually, pouring herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. "In three days. I'll text you if I'm going to stay longer or arrive earlier." She sat down on the stool on the counter and drank her coffee in peace. She turned her head to Koichi and saw him staring at her. "What is it?", she asked.

How odd. How Koichi stared at her was different. It seemed... _interested._

Koichi stood up from his seat at the dining table and went to her, embracing her from behind. His head landed on her shoulder and felt his breath tickle her skin.

What's going on?

"Uhm.. what're you doing?" Aki couldn't move as his embrace locked down her arms to her sides. "I can't drink my coffee and I need to prepare for my trip to Nagoya in two hours."

"Nothing... is there anything wrong with embracing my wife?", he asked her. "You look... different. Well, you've been looking different lately."

Wife?

Embracing _his wife_? What the hell was in Koichi's coffee?

"Hey... can we?"

The look on Koichi's face was priceless. Aki wanted to take a photo of it. He looked wantonly at her and felt his touch getting more and more... primal. Aki sort of wanted to, but didn't want to since she had to get ready; but before she can make up her mind, Koichi kissed her deeply with his arms around her. Aki was taken by surprise at his initiative, but her mind recalled all the times she'd seen him with Ai. The night at the parking lot was the one that took the cake, and she could feel herself getting disgusted again at the thought of indirectly kissing Ai each time Koichi kissed her. Eew. Aki tried hard not to imagine what she tasted like. On the other hand, she willed herself to taste something else. She can taste the coffee he drank, the taste of the toast he prepared himself, the ham and eggs. Different aromas wafted all around her now, making her more aware that she was indeed more sensitive to her surroundings. She grasped the lapels of his suit gently without wrinkling the fabric, her mind wondering what Ai could possibly smell like. Oh, she could possibly smell like a cross between sex and whore, her mind answered her. Again, feeling the disgust, she grimaced and focused on other things. Aki could smell his perfume and after-shave, the lingering smell of his take-home last night, the smell of his suit and his shampoo. All of it became one nauseating combination which brought her close to almost throwing up in his mouth. Add to it the conversation she heard, it was a mess too much for her to keep within her. Maybe it was her body rejecting those facts for now until she was strong enough to move on. Really, how could she still want Koichi after confirming to herself that he doesn't see her as anything more?

First she was just a business transaction gone well since he had a leg up in his career, second, a sponge for his tasteless words and his carelessness, next a commodity to show his fellow businessmen what a trophy wife he has; now, a blow-up doll to satiate his needs when his mistress couldn't do so?

"Aki, what's wrong?"

Aki had pushed Koichi away and dashed to the comfort room, feeling the nausea rise up her throat. Just in time (and she even managed to close the door), she knelt before the toilet bowl and gagged. She regurgitated her breakfast, her head aching with her eyes tearing up. Koichi was outside the door, pounding in it to be let in, but Aki only stared blankly at the U-bend as she leaned back on the wall, tired from vomiting with tears in her eyes. Panting, she rose up to her feet and washed her face, thinking hard on why she suddenly had an attack like that when she's never had it before. She had been losing sleep due to work and had been doing overtime. She also had been unaware of the fact she was skipping meals. Aki sighed again, looking angry at herself through her pale reflection in the mirror and shook her head.

"Aki?"

"I'm alright, Koichi. I'm going to get ready now." Aki peeled her clothes off and flushed the toilet. She looked at the door and wondered how Koichi looked like outside. There was indeed something different happening and she wasn't sure how it became to be and what it was but she sure noticed it. "Please lock the door when you leave."

Koichi was quiet for a moment outside and heard him sigh. "Well... alright. Call me if you need anything."

Aki heard his footsteps get further away and the sound of the door closing.

As she felt the cool water hit her skin, Aki found herself thinking of her trip to Nagoya with Sumire.

Was she really ready to face whatever was going to happen there?

Will she be brave enough to listen to the words they've left unsaid?

Aki closed her eyes for a moment and lost herself in her thoughts, hoping that Kippei looked forward to seeing her too.


	16. Chapter 16

Aki found herself in Chubu Airport with her whole body close to a seizure as she took in the fact that she was now standing where Kippei once stood. Looking around at the interior of the airport, she bet Kippei already made comments about it, even judged it for the interior. With a small smile, Aki wheeled her luggage to where Sumire was.

"It's feels so good to stand around after a flight!" Sumire hauled off her luggage from the baggage belt and grinned at Aki. "What do you say? How about a late lunch in our hotel then we can go around for a while?"

"That sounds good." Aki sighed. "I do need a bath and I am really tired..."

_More on I'm nervous as hell.. _Aki bit her lip as she stifled a yawn. Looking around her, everyone seemed to be on the go. It was thoughtful of Choi to allow her to go even if her purpose was not really work-related, but she promised to make it up to him and Yahiko by passing her article about Mr. Hirai's cafe later on that evening. It meant having to postpone seeing Kippei, but it was alright. She owed Choi so much for not ratting her out and for still understanding her even after all this time. Going back to Kippei, Aki gripped the handle of her luggage as his name entered her mind. There was anticipation building in her, yet also a longing to see him.

Was she really ready to face Kippei again after not seeing him for almost two months?

Aki knew that Kippei will be surprised to see her there in Nagoya, but what else was he going say?

Was he going to be happy?

"Are you nervous, Aki?"

Sumire peered in Aki's face, making her take a step back and smile awkwardly.

"Well.. I am not really used to these types of situations.. but I'll manage. I just need to rest a bit so I can have the strength to confront whatever there is I need to face..", she told Sumire.

Sumire smiled at Aki and took her hand, both of them setting off to check in at their hotel.

_Even if it is for closure..._ she thought.

* * *

_What is the point of all this?_

_Am I ready to look into the face of happiness once more and find myself languishing for it once I decide?_

_Is this the truth I have to face and deal with, then leave to return to the other truth that is my marriage?_

_Sumire talked me into this and honestly, I don't know why and how I was able to go with her, but I am happy to know that she's with me to support me no matter what I decide. Being here in Nagoya brings me to the present, that I need to see Kippei once more so I know where I stand._

_Will he be happy to see me?_

_Will he kiss me once he sees me?_

_Will he stay with me until I leave?_

_There is a tiny hope in my heart that hopes desperately for him to do the things that made me smile and tell me things that made me feel safe, but there is also that hope that he doesn't so my decisions will be clearer once I leave._

_But why is it that my heart is just telling me something else?_

_Kippei..._

_Do you still love me?_

_Are you still thinking of me?_

_Do you miss me?_

_These questions.. I ignored them for so long._

_So, what's the point of all this?_

_Where am I standing now?_

_I am sailing between two rivers and headed to drown in the consequences of my own choices._

_The truth is that I am not prepared to accept whatever the outcome, but I know have to soon because I cannot hold on to things that will only take me back to memories I know I will never experience again. I cannot hide the truth anymore._

_The truth is not meant to be hidden._

_I need the truth to set me free._

* * *

"Aki?"

With a groan, Aki opened her eyes and saw sunlight permeate the curtains of her hotel room. Groggily, she got off the bed and wiped her eyes as she walked to the door and opened it. There was a smiling Sumire who greeted her, wheeling the breakfast tray inside her room. Seeing the laptop propped on the desk with the room's printer attached to it, Aki simply grinned at Sumire sleepily, who grimaced upon seeing her work splayed out messily.

"Aki... what have you been doing?"

"I sort of had to do work until late in the evening. I had a deadline," she explained guiltily. "I know you told me to rest... but I just couldn't leave it at that."

Sumire shook her head, sat her down on the bed and handed her a glass of water. "No, no, no. You should be taking care of yourself now since it's a pretty crucial time for you," she told her, tutting.

There goes Sumire again. Aki drank her water and all of a sudden felt the urge to throw up. Without saying a word, she handed the glass of water back to Sumire then dashed to the bathroom to vomit. She was racking up her insides and her dinner last night, Aki holding on for dear life as she threw up that morning. Tears fell from her eyes and she felt weak.

What the hell was happening?

Aki emerged from the bathroom after freshening up. The look on Sumire's face showed great worry as she went out.

"Aki... you shouldn't work so hard.." muttered Sumire.

Aki looked down at her feet. "I have to, Sumire... or else it will drive me crazy."

Silence overcame both of them, with Aki now bursting into tears.

Aki found it odd to be crying early in the day, but she just couldn't help it. Sumire took her back to bed and patted her as she laid down and wept into her pillow.

"No one understands me. I have been placed in an arranged marriage with a man I thought I could spend the rest of my life with, but he's not really interested in making that work since he's out with his mistress. I have to think about everything related to me that even divorcing him could cost me my reputation and my sanity. I can't and don't want to disappoint my family anymore, Sumire... My affair with Kippei came at the most convenient time and showed me what it was like to be happy and wanted.." Aki gritted her teeth and went on. "I felt like I had a partner with me, who accepted me and weathered it out with me, but it all fell apart because I was that stupid to put both of us in a place where we shouldn't be..."

"No, Aki... You can't blame yourself for all the fault.. Kippei decided it for himself too, and he knew the risks it took.."

Aki remembered Kippei telling her he didn't care about Koichi, but if he didn't, why did he have to leave?

"Kippei left because he didn't want to be a burden to you anymore... not because his feelings for you died.." Sumire sat up and looked outside the window. "In fact, he loves you very much.. but he just didn't want to hurt you and destroy your life."

Aki sniffled, sitting up as well, looking blankly at the sheets of her bed.

"Will seeing him now change anything? Will that make me feel better?"

"That's something you decide for yourself, Aki. As far as I know, life is how you take it... and love will be what you make of it."

The was distressingly simply put, but Aki knew the simplicity had to arise from the complications that was brought upon her own emotions and expectations. True she was scared of the outcome, but she deserved to be free from whatever ailed her. Thinking of Kippei in the most inconvenient of times proved to be a struggle as it brought upon mood swings that varied from nostalgia to complete depression. She wasn't even sure if she can function normally if she continued on without knowing what else Kippei had to say to her.

She was in Nagoya now. There is no point in turning back.

"But... Sumire... I don't know where to go to see him," she said. That being obvious, she felt stupid for not even knowing where to go. It was basic. "We haven't talked for months and I have no idea where to start."

Now she was sure that she needed to see him. She no longer wanted anything to cloud her mind.

"He's usually by the train station at 6PM. I told him I was meeting him there tonight, but I'm not going."

Sumire looked behind her, a determined, yet soft gaze directed to Aki who sat on the bed looking nervous.

"My flight back to America is at 6PM tonight. By the time you two see each other, I'd have already boarded the plane." Seeing Aki's eyes grow wide, she smiled and said, "Don't worry, Aki... You're in safe hands.. you've always been safe... with him."

. . . . . . . . . .

It was particularly cold that afternoon and Aki wore her coat as she walked to the train station where Sumire said Kippei usually came from as a route to his way home. Aki wasn't sure of herself, but all she knew was she wanted to see Kippei. Looking at her watch, she still had time to spare for a drink to calm her nerves.

"Ah, just my luck," she thought as she saw a pub located conveniently near the station.

It was a classic and heavily traditional Japanese pub. There were men in suits drinking beer to celebrate the end of the day, with a particularly noisy group where in a blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy was already drunk and singing some weird song. She watched as his officemates held him down and covered his mouth, but he was just rowdy and was soon drinking another shot to silence him. Aki thought of Choi and Yahiko, sure of another heated exchange that was full of insults if ever she drank with them again. With a smile, she promised herself to go with them once she got back from Nagoya. She went to the bar and sat down, an old woman walking over to her with the menu in her old, bony hands.

The old woman handed her the menu and said, "We have the yakitori and some tonkatsu for you to try. Highly recommended!" She gazed at Aki thoughtfully, eyeing her from where she stood. "Or maybe some nutricious sukiyaki, perfect for a woman like you. I promise to add in more beef and vegetables!"

Aki waved her hands, politely declining as she looked through the bar list. "I am actually pretty nervous right now and I'd like to have a cocktail or a mug of beer," she said, handing over the menu.

The old woman's kind face turned dark, a furrow on her brow as she took the menu from her. "No, I can't serve you anything like that. It's unhealthy especially at your time."

"But I'm already of legal age!", Aki protested. She took out her IDs and her license. "Here, look."

The woman shook her head stubbornly. "No. Call me again when you are to order something good for you."

Aki watched in shock as the woman walked away and disappeared at the back of the bar, mouthing off as heard the old woman refer to her as 'irresponsible' and 'reckless'. That struck a nerve with her as she remembered Koichi's mother, Sachie, saying the same words in such a very degrading tone. With a huff, Aki lost her appetite for some alcohol, leaving embarrassed she wasn't served anything.

She was of legal age and wasn't driving. Why the hell won't the old woman give her what she wanted?

The cold air blew around her as she made her way to the station. Even if she wasn't given the alcohol she had wanted, the nervousness she felt was now replaced by irritation. At least she didn't have to spend money. Aki hastily made her way inside, rushing past people who were going the opposite direction. Swarms of people in business suits passed by, no one showing remorse for bumping into her, but Aki pursued to get away from the crowd and into a pocket of air where she can breathe and regain her breath. As soon as she found an opening, she crashed into a someone and sent her on her ass.

"Watch where you're going, idiot!"

Aki looked up to see a woman looking down at her angrily. She was a beautiful woman with long hair and wore an expensive ensemble. Aki got to her feet then bowed to her sincerely.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to and-"

"Shut up. You scuffed my shoes." The woman sighed melodramatically. "My boyfriend bought this and we're supposed to go on a date, but you ruined it all!"

Aki thought the woman was acting a little bit too melodramatic over a scuff on her shoe. Looking at it, she couldn't even see any smudge or damage on the shoe she was wearing. Now, Aki was one to just let it slide and ignore trifles like this, but on an unexpected turn of events, she just couldn't. The woman was acting spoiled and clearly way over her head about this.

"What do you want me to do, pay for it?", she asked sarcastically. "I already apologized and you're making a big deal out of this."

The woman glared at her and put a hand on her hip. "Cheeky, are you? You're already the one who bumped into me and destroyed a possible date tonight and you're the one who's angry? I spent hours getting ready, but someone like you just happens to throw all that in vain!"

Aki scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I highly doubt that your boyfriend would mind a scuff on your shoe. If he was a real man, he wouldn't really care what you wore and would just focus on being with you. But seeing how clearly decked out you are," Aki eyed the woman from head to foot, a smug smirk forming on her lips. "You're pretty desperate to actually have him notice you."

"What did you say?!", the woman cried in a prissy tone.

Aki didn't say anything more and glared back at the woman. The woman suddenly looked curious at her, peering closer as she took a step forward.

"You look... familiar.." said the woman skeptically. "I know I've seen you before..."

_What... not only is she a ditz, she's hallucinating now, _Aki thought, backing away slightly.

"I think I saw you in a magazine in my office," said the heavily made-up woman. "Yeah, I think that's you. My boyfriend framed that issue since he was in it. I can't believe with someone dumb as you."

Aki grimaced. She didn't like where this conversation was going and decided it was best to leave her alone. She didn't even pay attention to the woman's words but simply let out a frustrated huff as she pushed the woman aside. "I don't have time for any of this bullshit," she muttered to herself, passing by the woman and left her a glare.

After a few steps, she found herself crashing into someone again, only this time whoever it was didn't react foully to her. All she saw was a broad chest.

And a red necktie.

"Damn it, not again," she said beneath her breath and looked up to apologize..

..to Kippei.

Time stopped and everyone around them was now out of focus. All Aki saw was Kippei's face and felt his warmth as he held her arms to keep her from falling. His eyes grew slightly wider, only to scowl once he realized it was her.

What?

What's with the scowl?

Aki felt Kippei let her go and lowered his hands. She studied the features of his face and understood that his eyes showed an unfamiliar disdain in seeing her there. It was... unearthly. She thought of something to say to him, but his face didn't show any interest. His body language didn't even show any familiarity to her. It was as if to him, she was a stranger.

"What are you doing here?", he asked her coldly.

There wasn't even any mention of her name, nor any greet; let alone a 'Hi' or 'How have you been with your scumbag husband'. How Kippei looked at her made her feel like shit, and it was then she realized that was how Koichi looked at her.

Aki tried her best to talk, but the wind was knocked out of her by the monotonous tone of his voice and the steely glint in his eyes.

"You know her, Kippei?"

Aki forgot the woman was still there. She didn't bother turn to look at her, but the woman's earlier statement sent a chill down her spine.

Kippei must be her boyfriend then.

Kippei didn't answer the woman but just kept his gaze down at Aki. In a much quieter voice, he asked again, "What are you are doing here?"

"I was assigned here for an article about the labor strikes and... and..."

Aki couldn't continue anymore. She couldn't even look at him in the eye. There were now the tears that she feared would come. There she was, now standing before Kippei, but how come he was like this? And with his girlfriend? _HER_? That's got to be a joke. Aki knew Kippei wouldn't settle for a woman that tacky, let alone that ditzy.

_But he settled for you at some point... so what does that make you?_ asked her subconscious.

"_That's right... what does that make me then?_", she asked herself.

An adulteress.

A sad case of a married woman who is not loved by her husband.

A cheap woman who involves herself in an affair just to be happy.

Some individual whose own heritage brought upon benefits that could definitely improve one's standing.

Aki cleared her throat and looked up at Kippei. There was still nothing on his face and in his eyes that reminded both of them of what they once shared and hid from the world. It was devastating, but Aki was still there braving it, however, until when? She's already close to breaking down now.

"You're wasting our time,"

She bit back the tears and the shrinking feeling in her heart.

Kippei walked past her as he took the other woman's hand in his. She recalled how it felt to have his hand around hers. It hurt her seeing him do that to someone else.

"Kippei,"

Aki couldn't bear have him leave her without him listening to her. Kippei stopped but didn't bother turn around, except for the woman who was now looking shocked as the seconds ticked on. Aki walked over to them, stood by his side without having to look at his face. She took a small breath and one by one, tears fell down her cheeks.

"I came here to see you... I didn't imagine I would board a plane and chase you all the way here," she started.

"Since you made it here, say what you need to say," was all he replied to her.

Aki sensed no warmth in Kippei. She finally accepted that through the months that they weren't able to talk, maybe he was finally able to move on for his own sake. After all, she couldn't keep him, right? What else should she expect? She was married and it now dawned on her that even if it hurt to say goodbye, there was no other choice for them.

"I... have thought of you and cried because I know my situation brought you pain too. I didn't want to hurt you... and I didn't want to still be hurting until now.." Aki closed her eyes and balled her fists, trembling beside Kippei. "I never really imagined that even in my circumstance, I could actually find happiness in the complication we both dreamed.. I wanted that so much. I wanted it to go on. I wanted it to never end. I never wanted to wake up... I never wanted to return to Tokyo. I wanted to be in Kyoto with you.. I never wanted that old life to keep on making me suffer... but in every dream, there is a time where in you need to wake up."

Beside her, Kippei's hand twitched as if controlling itself from holding on to her hand.

"It took me all this time to realize that my heart was aching because you're not there to make it better... And I remember what you told me in your house.. you told me that I don't need to say it back because you knew it will hurt me. But Kippei, I.."

Aki shook her head and smiled sadly as her tears stained the floor of the station.

"I guess it is indeed time to wake up from this dream and accept reality as is. Seeing you have already accepted yours, I can no longer be bound to what I experienced because you were the one who let go."

"I had no choice but to do so. And please, don't make it sound as if something really sentimental happened."

Aki looked up at Kippei, not believing what she'd heard.

Kippei's gave her a rivetingly cold glance. "You are the daughter of Ringo Gojo, who happens to be the owner of the company I work for,"

The woman beside him gasped. "Kippei, you never told me that she- she's Mr. Gojo's own daughter!"

"Shut up." He told his companion. He continued on. "And you're just someone I needed to release the hold on our department's issues because we needed the profit to pay back the ones who worked hard to produce the magazine." Kippei faced her now, his face bearing no sliver of emotion but a stoic expression laced with an iciness that Aki never knew he could possess. "I did what I had to do, I just didn't imagine it would actually be so consuming."

_This... this isn't Kippei... _Aki told herself as she absorbed his words.

Aki trembled as she listened to Kippei. Her body was getting weaker and her heart was failing her. She wished Sumire was there, but there was no other way to face it. This is what she prepped herself for. She needed this and it now sobered her definitely.

"Kippei... what're you saying? Your brother- Sumire- and we-"

"I did what I had to do to monopolize my position. It's nothing personal, really. This is just work. The magazines are now being published, what else will I need you for?"

Who was this man who stood before her?

Aki took a step back and covered her mouth, the shock value of his words ridding her of any feeling left in her body. She wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole. This was not what she expected, but hell, she was there taking it all in since she no longer had any other option. She stared at Kippei as the tears from her eyes flowed, taking her very breath away as his words coursed through her. There was nothing on him to point out, and she could see the woman behind him looking terrified of her now as she herself took a step and left both of them. Now that they were alone, Aki was sure Kippei won't hold back.

"What? You think I would be serious with you?", Kippei asked her.

Aki lowered her hand and shook her head. "You... you texted me.. You told me things... You showed me things and gave me what I-"

"Human beings will only see what they what to see, feel what they want to feel and hear what they want to hear. I merely indulged you so I can have what I want for my own benefit."

"You... you don't mean that, do you? You don't, right?"

"Stop denying yourself that this is how things are. No form of sentiment is enough to bring you back to those times I gave you. I just hope that through at all, I really did hope I did satisfy you at some point."

Aki didn't know what else to say and who he was anymore. The more he spoke, the more she felt closer to dying.

"You denied yourself of what your life is and how things really are. I just merely became someone who you used to ease through your painful marriage. That's how it has always been. You just used me to escape your pitiful situation. I don't mind anyway. I just did what my job required me to accomplish in the end."

"You... you're cruel, Kippei..." Aki choked out. "Please stop saying these things and be honest.. Please..."

Aki pleaded with her eyes. Everything hurt; even crying and breathing hurt. Kippei was making no sense, but Aki sobered quickly at the reality of his words. Even though it took all her might, she managed to laugh a little at her predicament as she looked to the side and shook her head.

"Honest? What form of honesty do you want? I am sorry, I can't help you on that one," he simply told her.

"You're cruel and heartless, Kippei.. I can't believe you'd beat Koichi in being the vilest man alive...", she managed to say through the sob rising in her throat.

Kippei scoffed. "That may be so, but you have got to stop it with all this. Go back to where you came from and just live your life the way it is. You have to understand, don't compare me to your husband; you don't know anything about me."

"All I know is... all I is the Kippei who loves his brother... who worked hard to make their dreams come true.. Who blamed himself for his brother's death and is still searching forgiveness.. the Kippei who was kind enough to advice me regarding my work and was careful enough to walk me home in the rain.." Aki swallowed the next onslaught of tears, everything becoming clearer now. She didn't bother look up at him now and simply stared at the teardrops at her feet. "All I know is the Kippei who showed me what it was like to be wanted, to be appreciated and to be accepted for whatever I am.. The Kippei who tenderly held me and told me that he didn't care about others just as long as he had me.. The Kippei I knew was thoughtful and kind.. strong and weak at the same time.."

A small smile escaped her lips, the bitterness of it all coming to full circle.

This is where it all ends.

"I guess he died..."

"And you're mourning for him?" Kippei asked her. "How daft could you be."

Aki shook her head, now wiping her tears. She can cry more at her hotel if she needed to tonight. Now, all she wanted was to leave the station and be far away from the new Kippei in front of her.

"In time, I'll get over him... After all, he's gone some place better, I think, but now, I guess I must say..."

Aki raised her head up and looked at Kippei with a subtle professional smile on her face. She stuck her hand out to him for a handshake.

"Thank you for the time. Congratulations on your new job venture. It has been a pleasure working with you, Kippei Ebihara."

Kippei's expression turned a little more severe, his eyes going slightly wide at how Aki was quick enough to recover. His eyes darted down to her outstretched hand, but didn't take it nor do anything. His hands, however, balled into fists as he controlled themselves from doing something.

Aki's spirit faltered, with her lowering her seeing Kippei didn't want to shake it.

"Pardon for the intrusion on your... date.. and I'm sorry. I wish you well, Mr. Ebihara."

She didn't wait for him to say anything more. Her eyes fell to the lapel of his suit instead and saw what she could make out as a wet stain in the form of teardrops. There was no point looking into his eyes. She might beg him if she saw able to see them. Aki tore herself from where she stood, turned her heel and walked away.

How cruel and cold of Kippei to tell her things that didn't really make sense to her, but were as clear as crystal. So, in that sense, was she still denying herself of the truth? Kippei's truth was bitter and uncaring, that Aki felt a cramp subdue her for a moment as she had passed by the pub earlier on as she headed back to her hotel. Clutching her stomach, she endured the pain as she continued to walk, not bothering to look behind her for fear of what she might see. She no longer wanted to come face to face with the man who showed her happiness before and talked to her now like she was nothing. Enough. With each step, she wondered if Sumire stuck by to watch, what would she say? Aki wrapped her coat around her as she walked the lonely path back to her own life, her everything saying goodbye to Kippei Ebihara and all this memories.

She no longer saw the reason for staying longer.

_Aki..._

_Aki...!_

_AKI!_

She gained speed and ran as fast as her feet could carry her, pushing aside people as he heard Kippei's voice calling her name. She wanted to get away from the ghost of his smiles and his tenderness. She no longer wanted him to chase her.

She didn't want to feel the same thing she felt for him yesterday and several minutes ago.

She wanted to forget him now.

He was no different from Koichi and everyone else. There was no point looking back anymore since Kippei after all was the one who left, why did she even bother go all the way to Nagoya just to humiliate herself like that? To endure another new version of what she just wanted to spare her... how stupid was she? Aki thought that she can manage to make a new realization for herself, that she can do something braver since having Kippei there never failed to assure her that she can hold her ground, but he was now gone and was left with that Kippei who was far from what she's known.

She shunned his face from her mind, the sound of his voice and the ache that she bore for him.

Aki focused ahead and mentally reminded herself to book a flight back to Tokyo once she got back to her hotel. She told herself that she had to be dutiful once more to Koichi, love him more and forget what she's been through with Kippei. She brought her left hand at eye level and saw the lackluster gleam of her ring. The gem sparkled but it wasn't as bright as her wedding day. It didn't feel right on her finger. It felt... constricting, like it did on her wedding day.

Is this the life she was going to have with Koichi?

Aki sighed as she entered the lobby of her hotel, understanding that it wasn't too bad having to be shunned away by Kippei. At least the part of her vows where in she said, "Until death do us part', now established its meaning.

She looked forward to her newly beginning future with Koichi; through the fire, the pain and the tears, she promised herself to never have herself look somewhere else. She has him and he has her.

Kippei shouldn't be anywhere in the picture.

There was nothing to look back to.

But what's this?

Even the thought of seeing the teardrops staining the lapel Kippei's suit earlier on seemed to hold her back, but Aki wanted nothing to do with it anymore. Even though her body reacted differently to it, all she can do was walk away from his memories and move on.

The dream is over, with Kippei's stinging words sobering her to reality.

That was the whole truth. That was Kippei's version of the truth.

..and she's ready to leave it all behind her once she leaves Nagoya.

* * *

Aki barely slept a wink.

She got up several times at night just to go to the bathroom and at the same time, ordered room service at around 2 in the morning for some sukiyaki, nachos, and strangely, mochi ice cream. An unusual order in the dead of night, making her wonder if this was now caused by those sleepless nights and not eating at the proper time. She was watching late night television, crying as she stood by an episode of a Korean soap drama and finished her entire order before 3AM. She fell asleep at around 4, tossing and turning, tying to find the perfect place; but all she could think of was what had transpired in the station. The last resort she could do was cry a little more to induce sleep... and it worked.

It was already 10AM when she woke up.

Aki was able to book for a flight back to Tokyo at around 1PM. She was relieved her hotel was a bus ride away from the airport since she can get ready in time before the gates close. After a quick bath, she packed her things, triple-checked her valuables and upon seeing all is well, headed out of her room to check out. At the lobby, she was surprised Sumire had already paid for her room that it even extended her stay until tomorrow. Aki felt guilty and made it a mental promise to pay Sumire for the extra night she wasn't able to use. After returning her keys and settling her fees, she greeted the staff goodbye and walked to the entrance.

"Also, Mrs. Natsukawa,"

Aki returned to the receptionist's desk. Calling her by her married name made her swallow her distaste. With a plastic smile, she said, "Is there anything else I may have forgotten?"

The receptionist looked around for anyone within proximity of them. Seeing there was no one free to listen to them, she leaned in and said the strangest thing. "No, ma'am... I was just wondering if your G in your maiden name stood for Gojo,"

Aki found it odd. "Why, is there anything wrong?"

The receptionist shook her head, but looked to the side as she thought hard. "There was a man that came here earlier today asking if an Aki Gojo stayed here. I wasn't in yet when he arrived and just heard it from the others. They said the man looked pretty distressed.. He was pretty insistent to see the list of guests we have. We feel pretty sure he's looking for someone special to him judging from the fact his eyes looked pretty red, they said."

"Oh, my maiden name doesn't stand for Gojo," Aki smiled, but there was a WTF echoing in her. She felt the urge to lie since it seemed to be the safest thing to do. Besides, she no longer wanted anymore confrontations.

This was for the best.

The receptionist smiled at Aki and bowed to her. "Oh, well, have a safe flight then, Mrs. Natsukawa and we hope you return to stay with us,"

Aki returned the bow the receptionist gave her. She walked to the drop-off where the hotel's shuttle was waiting and before she knew it, she was on her way to the airport.

Her thoughts lingered at what the receptionist told her. Seriously, why? There was no other person she can think of but Kippei. It was an obvious choice. Aki couldn't understand why he would have the gall to look for her especially after he said all those things to her last night. Something in her, however, was in high hopes, hoping to be found by him. Looking at the city zoom past her, Aki blankly stared outside as she tried her best to look for a reason why he'd want to talk to her.

Wasn't she wasting his time? That was what he told her.

Sunlight passed through the clouds, the sunbeams hitting the gem on her ring. It glittered beautifully with a shine that she never saw it give off.

Maybe it was a good sign after all.

Maybe it was a sign that choosing Koichi was for the best.

The shuttle finally arrived at the airport, with Aki breathing in the air as she willingly said goodbye to Nagoya. She told herself she was never going back. There was no reason to, plus there were more things to think about.

What to cook for dinner tonight.

What to buy in the grocery.

Her work and articles that needed to be submitted.

Bills.

The laundry.

Aki went inside the airport, checking in electronically and proceeding to the waiting area until her flight was already boarding. Walking to the terminal's lounge, she took a deep breath as she walked, implanting in her mind that she was going back... to Tokyo. Her mind couldn't side with 'going home'. It hasn't felt like that yet ever since she said 'I Do'. It was going to take more than just her, Koichi and their shared apartment to call it a home.

She was about to pass the gates when someone tugged at her wrist.

Aki was lost for words.

Kippei was holding her tightly, his hand around her wrist not letting go anytime soon. His hair was down and looked like he lost sleep. There was a tiredness to him present at how his shoulders slumped. His eyes looked puffy, looked as if he cried for hours. He took a step closer to her, partially opening his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

They stared at each other for several seconds before Aki felt her heart constrict within her chest. Seeing him looking at her that way, she instantly looked away from him. She ached within having him there after everything he's told her the other night. She was angry, she was hurt ; she felt humiliated. What was Kippei's intention now for stopping her? Aki still couldn't look at him, her eyes looking to the side. She tried to yank her hand away, but Kippei just held on tighter. Having him touch her burned.

"You... what is the meaning of this..?", she asked him quietly.

"Aki... I..." Kippei's own hand trembled, but he still couldn't let go. "I can't let you go yet without you hearing me out.."

"You've got some nerve...", growled Aki through gritted teeth.

"Aki, let me explain. Last night..."

Aki looked at Kippei with a glare and yanked her hand away. She was torn, her whole body resisting to rest herself in his arms with her lips denying herself his kisses; yet she was angry, disgusted and hurt for what he's said to her. Tears again plagued to torment her that moment.

"Last night... You made everything clear to me that you never saw me as anything but an advantage to your work.. You told me that I wasn't someone worth to be taken seriously, that you just used me for the sake of your job.." Aki recalled word by word, but felt herself weakening as the pain of last night consumed her, her hands balling into fists. "What right do you have to stop me..." She looked up at him, her eyes glaring in anger. "..**.when you were the one who told me to get on with my life**?!"

Kippei shook his head. "No... No, Aki.. Please don't-"

"'Please don't', what?!" Aki said through gritted teeth. Even if she wasn't shouting, that anger of it all took over and it was evident through the tears and her words. "What right do you have to ask of me anything?! You don't seem to get it do you?! Do you even recall all the things you told me?! Everything makes so much sense, Kippei! You don't need to be here to make things better just to save yourself the guilt!"

"I am not here to save myself!" Kippei looked near tears seeing her reject him. "I am here to tell you that what I told you last night was the only way for me to resist not holding you and kissing you when I realized it was you standing before me!" His face showed pain and regret, but he pushed on. "Aki... you have no idea how much it hurt me to know you actually chose your husband over me... and I had nowhere else to go but leave because I know I'll only indulge myself in our secret if I remain in Tokyo. Not only will we both suffer, you will be pulled deeper in the wrongness of what we've created.."

Aki defiantly shook her head. "Today I return to Tokyo, but I leave all my thoughts and feelings for you here in Nagoya where they rightfully belong. I don't want to hear anymore of bullshit that will only be the source of my guilt and misery. You're right, what we did was wrong, but I held onto you because I thought you meant all your words... How stupid of me to think you were actually different.. You're just the same as him. If that is so, then I should've just let myself suffer with his hands and words rather than have myself bear two heartbreaks! I didn't choose him. I merely had a conscience but was always with you because I wanted to... but now,, it doesn't mean anything to me anymore," she said angrily, her eyes turning glassy as her tears rose to the brim. "Gladly, I'll be in that plane and live my life once I get back to Tokyo. That's what _you _told me last night. Don't you remember? I have no point to be here and discuss things with you! I'm done!"

Aki turned her heel and went on her way to the gate, but Kippei grabbed her hand once more. His warmth was still there and she felt herself giving in, but she stopped herself.

Not anymore.

Not again.

"Let go of me. There is nothing to say anymore," she firmly said.

"You don't mean that..." Kippei muttered weakly. "Where will I go from here if you don't listen to what I have to say..?"

"You're not someone who has that privilege anymore... You're nothing to me."

Kippei's face softened into a defeated grimace, his eyes simply pleading mercy into hers.

Even if her heart broke at the mere sight of Kippei's brokenness. She wanted to reach out, but kept herself at bay. She wasn't going to give in. The anger that coursed through Aki was doubled by the pain of his stinging words from last night. There she stood feeling no remorse for her emotions, not bothering to give him any chances. Why should she when he was the one who told her to leave? Kippei can't just have himself be spoiled by her kindness and ear after saying all those monstrous things to her. There was a fire that burned in her that told her to shun Kippei away, but there was also a dying sensation she felt; however there was nothing Aki can make out but the fact his words scarred her deeply.

It hurt so much...

It devastated her to the point that what was left of her heart crumbled into dust.

Only resentment, anger and bitterness was left towards Kippei.

That was all that was left of her after Kippei told her those things. She couldn't believe how he'd hurt her.

But she couldn't believe that she was hurting him more with her rage. She wanted to soothe his pain, hold him; but her own restraint took effect now when she remembered the steely glint in his eyes that night.

"I clung onto you... I gave you my body... I shared my heart and soul with you.. but all you did was break my heart just because you were not man enough to admit that you couldn't move on even after you left," Aki said with relish. The fact of it all seemed so clear that it was almost comical to her that Kippei was like a child holding onto his pride so he won't admit surrender. "I felt dirty, I felt impure, but you made me feel like I was someone wanted and loved... had I known that you would come cutting me into pieces like my husband did, I shouldn't have allowed myself to-" _Almost... Just almost..._, her mind groaned, her eyes growing wide. "...shouldn't have allowed myself to..."

"To what, Aki?" Kippei grabbed her by the shoulders now, bridging the gap. "Tell me, 'to what'?", he repeated more insistently this time, his dark eyes latching onto her amber ones.

Aki managed to struggle an arm free and slapped him in the face with a sharp slap.

"What right have you to ask me? What right have you to demand from me when you are the one who wants me away?"

Kippei's cheek stung red, but all he did was just stand there and face her once more, bridging the gap again

How he held her was firm and Aki knew that he was demanding an answer from her. There was the Kippei she knew. There was the man who wanted to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling and what she was going to say. Why now? Why not last night? People in the airport were now noticing their little confrontation, double-taking as Aki and Kippei stood there by the gates in their own world. Both of them seemed unaware of their surroundings. Kippei, despite being himself now, seemed to be out of his element at present. His usually controlled facade was now thrown out as he was forceful on Aki, holding her by her arms to keep her from turning away from him. Aki only felt herself drop lower in her pit of despair seeing that passionate stare Kippei always had for her and realized his feelings for her have not died as time passed them by.

Again, why not last night?

It could've been easier.

She may not have to leave... but Aki knew this was for the best.

Not anymore.

Not again.

"Let- me- go-!", she winced, pushing him away. "I'm going back to Tokyo! The gates might close!"

Aki struggled, but Kippei didn't listen and shook her a little stronger, making her look at him with angrier now compared to several minutes ago.

"NO!", Kippei told her. "I'm not letting you go!"

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, burying his face in her neck. Aki did her best to struggle more, but her heart was tired and it wanted his comfort.

"Kippei.. please let me go. I am a married woman and you're not making the situation better for us..", she muttered weakly, resisting the call to wrap her arms around him. "Let me go and please, let's forget all of this.. We deserve to be at peace with our own lives separately ahead of us."

"It's impossible to be at peace, Aki. I thought... I thought it was the best to end everything between us because I know at some point I'll lose to your husband... and I did."

Aki's eyes grew wide. Is that the truth why he had to leave?

Kippei simply clung onto her. His breath a shaky exhale.

"Holding you like this.. You have no idea how much I dreamed of this every night... You have no idea how I forced myself to just continue the way I did, but how can I when I am not whole enough? You have my other half, Aki...You ARE my other half. What makes you think I can move on so easily..?"

_Resist, Aki..., _she said to herself, closing her eyes and trying her best not to cry. "Please stop lying to me anymore, Kippei... My heart will not bear it..."

"Last night was the second night I most regret.. I hurt you and I can see it so clearly.. I'm so sorry, Aki... You don't deserve that.. You didn't deserve that, not from me..." Kippei apologized tenderly to her as he stroked her hair. "I wasn't sure what provoked me to do such a thing but when I saw you, my heart leaped for joy, but it was short-lived. I knew I had to stop myself because I didn't want to be a burden for you.. I knew thinking about me and your husband at the same time causes you confusion beyond your wildest dreams. I thought that since I was the more expendable one, I should be the one to leave." He embraced her tighter. "But Aki, last night I can only shield myself from you because I know that if I let myself go, once you leave, I'll never be back to normal and the weeks that I worked for in moving on will be reduced to nothing.."

Aki now understood, but it still wasn't enough to disguise her aching heart. "You... you hurt me, Kippei..."

"I know... and if I can, I'll make it up to you again and again if you let me.."

"I... can't. Please... forget about me.. Please stop loving me.."

Kippei stiffened, and Aki could tell that it was him stifling a sob.

"I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to.. I couldn't stop thinking of you even if I told myself to... Everyday I tried my best, but I lack the courage and strength to do so more each day because I found a home in you... I searched for that for so long, and I never thought that even our darkest secrets, I can find some place I can be safe with. I wasn't prepared to find the happiness that was going to rebuild me. I didn't expect that at all... Even if what we did was wrong, you're the only right I see in this world. What makes this all so painful is that you belong to someone else, yet it was so obvious that you weren't sure where you needed to be.." Kippei pulled away from Aki and gently cupped a hand on the side of her face. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met and laid eyes on, yet no one was man enough to show you that.. Your husband couldn't prize you like I do.. and because of that fact, I knew from the day you met me at the restaurant I worked on, no doubt in my mind where you belong."

Aki could feel herself close to tears once more, her insides giving way to Kippei gentleness and kindness now. Whoever the Kippei was last night was a nightmare. The Kippei she knew and adored was there holding her once more.

"And that's with me... You belong with me, Aki... Is it really that hard to see that?"

Tears fell from Kippei's eyes, the display of his affection and love for her for everyone to see. Aki wasn't aware of the tears that fell from her own eyes. She just stood there before him, her hand holding the handle of her luggage trembling.

"I was powerless to refuse my feelings for you most especially after I shared with you my brother and my search for forgiveness.. I thought that by working harder I could make all my dreams come true. I didn't imagine all of them would come true with you... Let alone the forgiveness I sought to find was finally attained when I am was you."

Kippei looked down and took her left hand, the ring on her finger still sparkling. Aki looked at her hand and realized that Koichi was waiting for her back in Tokyo.

But was he, really?

"I don't know what else I can say... but I love you, Aki.." Kippei looked sadly at the ring on her finger, looking defeated once more. "I have always loved you and I will not stop loving you because aside from my job; loving you is the next best thing I know that I could do well without having to hide my feelings."

His thumb stroked the gem on the ring she wore, and Aki could feel herself being broken again.

"Kippei... I..."

_Air Japan Flight 0768 to Narita is now boarding.  
All passengers please proceed to your gate immediately.  
Gates closed in exactly fifteen minutes.  
Thank you._

__Didn't she swear that she was going to move on and leave all her memories with Kippei behind?

Why isn't she moving her ass to her gate which was only twenty feet away from her?

Aki looked up at Kippei and wiped her tears away, no longer surrendering to Kippei's affection. Even if her body couldn't move and her heart was cursing her in several languages for leaving his embrace, she had no choice but to return to the life she initially chose. Seeing the ring on her finger sobered her brutally, that she can only sigh in defeat as her choice has finally led her to the crossroad once more. Looking back on the times she spent with Kippei, her own body refused to move; that something inside her was reaching out to Kippei for him to hold on to and stop her once she leaves. Aki didn't know how to separate herself from him, but it started with one step backward, followed by another.

"Aki... please..." Kippei begged softly, holding onto her left hand.

She didn't bother look up at him but instead looked blankly at the floor and widened the distance between them, but still allowed him to hold her hand.

It was her last time to experience the warmth that sheltered her from the bitter cold of her marriage and the life she lived.

"Please don't..." urged Kippei, tightening his grasp on her hand. "Aki, please..."

Should she still explain herself to him?

Should she tell him that she was choosing Koichi again over him? But this time... for good?

Aki couldn't bear say it.

Step after agonizing step, she lost her voice to tell him what she felt, let alone the courage to look up at him.

Kippei finally let out a subtle sob and asked in the most heartwrenching voice, "Don't you... love me?"

She stopped.

Did she?

Without looking at him, she braved taking that last step and their hands let go.

"I... have no right to tell you what I feel...", she weakly managed to choke out. "Even if I... even if I..."

She still couldn't say it.

It was the choice she made.

She chose to stand up on the choice she made... even if her whole being died that very moment.

"I have no right to say it to you... and you will never hear me say it. Our realities are different. My marriage is also important to me, even if it makes me suffer. I have to make other people happy and I can do so by sticking by my choice of returning. I do not mind suffering my entire life because the memories I had with you will make me strong through it all.. and those memories.. they make me happy."

Aki raised her head, tears running down her face as she slowly made her way to the gates. There was nothing to look back to, but whatever she left behind couldn't bear to part with her.

Not now, not ever.

Tightly, Kippei hugged her from behind, his body trembling as he kept her close.

"You don't have to just rely on the memories... You have me! You've always had me!" He turned her around to face him, begging for her to stay. "Choose me, Aki! Please, just for once, choose your happiness! Choose what you really want! I know you want to be with me, so why is it you can't find it in you to choose me instead?!"

There was no use in arguing and fighting.

Aki gave up on herself even before she can try to find the courage to find her courage.

Her life was different from his.

Aki Natsukawa married Koichi Natsukawa.

Marriage is sacred for her.

"Wants are different from needs, and sometimes... the needs outweigh wants because they serve a higher purpose..."

"What if I tell you I need you too, will you choose me then?"

If only she can...

If only her life could go her way..

If only divorcing Koichi was that easy..

Thoughts raced through her mind, but there was nothing else to discuss. If she had to cover her heart with ice just to be free from Kippei's persuasions, she will. Despite the fact her feelings gave in to him, her will and restraint have not.

"Kippei... you don't deserve to cling onto something you will never have for yourself. Aside from that... you're not the man I married," she told him monotonously.

"Then... marry me. Divorce your husband and marry me instead."

Slowly, Aki's eyes grew wide and she looked up at Kippei, shocked. She could see the determined and sure glint in his eye. She could make out the intensity of his words and the sincerity laced within them. Her heart raced and she could feel her fingers once more as she looked deep in his eyes. There was a seriousness that magnified more when Kippei cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Slowly, Aki closed her eyes and lost herself in his tenderness, her hands finding their way to his lapel and holding on for dear life as just this once, she's willing to sin again this last time. It was wonderful but emptying at the same time. She can't have another choice to make, but...

Marry Kippei...?

The speaker blared once more and called on for the passengers to enter the gates since they only have five minutes left.

Kippei's lips gently left Aki's, both of them still holding on to each other. "I love you, Aki... I don't mind you not saying it back... but I'll make sure you will one day..", he told her, letting her go. "I swear I will no matter what."

Aki looked up at Kippei. It burned her heart to see him smiling a sad smile as he gazed down at her. With an equally sad smile, she turned away from Kippei, but he no longer stopped her. As she passed the gates, she stopped and looked back. Kippei was still standing there, looking on as she went on to return to her life.

Even with Kippei's words, she can't rely on her heart to jumpstart the feeling she's had back then for him. Silently, she swore to herself that she can no longer include him in her thoughts once her plane lands in Tokyo. If she cannot get over him in one day, she'll drift away and take it day by day so she can focus on what really matters.

What matters?

She wasn't even sure where to start with that.

Aki disappeared as she turned the corner to go to her plane, carrying with her her luggage and the promise of forgetting Kippei Ebihara.

Her affair with him.

The smiles they shared.

The kisses they showered each other with.

The nights they spent passionately.

The pain they didn't hide and showed to each other with no hesitation.

She was willing to forget everything.

Koichi's face flashed in her mind and thinking of him now brought upon a guilt that she's never encountered before. Maybe it was for the best that she forget Kippei after all. She didn't want to be that woman everyone caught cheating with another man. She didn't want to cause shame and disappoint her father. She couldn't stain her family's name along with Koichi's. Aki made her choice. She was on her way back to Tokyo. The plane was now taxing and as soon as it took off, Aki closed her eyes.

She will forget Kippei Ebihara.

Strange... there went her body again, reacting to her decision.

. . . . .

Kippei walked back to his apartment, hollow and empty as he blankly stared ahead. He wasn't aware how long it took for him to get home, but as soon as he plopped on his bed, he looked up at the ceiling with a face that showed he was decided on the plan he had in his mind. He didn't bother call his office to let them know he wasn't going to come in that day. He wasn't sure if he wanted to come in for work anymore. All he knew was Tokyo was where his life was headed, and being close to dying emotionally and spiritually, he was sure to follow it and bring it back. Kippei sat up, closed his eyes and sighed.

"I will get her back."

He rose to his feet to start packing his things.

The only two things watching him do so was God...

...and a tiny black box that he couldn't give to Aki earlier on.

He wasn't going to lose to anyone, not even to Aki's own choice.


	17. Chapter 17

Until when will the sorrow of making choices end?

Would it be possible to not choose at all?

Why do you have to make choices anyway?

Ever since Aki came back Tokyo, she's come back more hollow as compared to when she left. Nagoya knocked the wind out of her, leaving her a wreck as she couldn't forget Kippei. She tried hard, willed herself and prayed to be visited by the right decisions, yet her body wasn't going to along with her heart. Days went by with her drifting aimlessly as she continued her work and worked hard to not have Kippei enter her thoughts, but it was difficult; so difficult in fact that each time she'd think of him, her whole being would shut down making her look blankly at her computer. Her domestic life was as still bland as ever, with Koichi just weaving in and out of their apartment but the only difference was he came home and ate dinner with her and rarely left for 'business meetings'. He was often shut in his room, and Aki noticed that he looked more tired than ever whenever she'd call him for dinner or bring him coffee.

Something about Koichi was different and Aki couldn't go on without asking him what it is.

Maybe if she started asking him and showing him concern, that could jumpstart their marital relationship to be smooth-sailing.

It was worth a shot.

* * *

Aki was cooking dinner that evening, walking to and fro in the kitchen as she prepared her meal. She was making tonkatsu and some gindara, hoping Koichi would like it. She didn't know why she amped up another level to impress him, but she knew it was to let go of what she'd left in Nagoya. Staring at the frying tonkatsu, she sighed heavily, her mind going blank.

"I'm home,"

Aki snapped out and turned her head to see Koichi enter the apartment. She noticed the unusual, weak tone in his voice. Upon seeing his face, she noticed her was looking particularly pale. There was a sliver of worry that chilled her spine, making her neglect the tonkatsu frying for a moment.

"Oh, welcome home. You can go ahead and freshen up. I'm not yet done with dinner anyway," she told him.

"Alright..." muttered Koichi, shuffling to the his room.

That was the usual. Hearing Koichi's footsteps meant normalcy to her. She can only sigh as it felt oddly in place, but she was thinking of another person instead of him. Aki shook her head, forcing the thoughts from her mind. She can't think of Kippei at a time like this. Turning back to the fryer, she turned the tonkatsu over and heard a heavy thud after several footsteps. It was then she stopped and turned off the stove.

Koichi's door didn't open.

"Koichi?", she called out. No answer. "Koichi?" Aki rounded from the kitchen counter and saw Koichi on the floor unconscious.

Her blood turned cold as she saw him on the floor not moving, her body almost giving way. She rushed to him, kneeling down as she turned him over and placed a palm to his face after raising his head on her lap. Worry consumed her once she felt him burning up. He was shivering too, his jaw chattering as his face only showed his weakness.

"Koichi! Hey!", she called out, gently urging him to wake up. ''You have a fever!"

Koichi's face showed discomfort and he looked really sick. Despite the fever, he looked pale too. He opened his eyes and held Aki's hand on his face, a small sigh escaping him.

"Sorry.. I'll go to my room.. Is dinner ready?", he croaked.

Aki felt her insides drop. "In a few.. Can you stand up? I'll help you-"

"Stop. Don't bother."

Koichi tried to stand up, but thing is Aki didn't listen to him. She still helped him up and he unexpectedly didn't protest, except for a little huff that escaped him. Both of them carefully made their way to his room, with Aki gently easing him down on his bed after removing his blazer and loosening his necktie. Her mind was a mess, her feelings in an uproar seeing Koichi in this state. He looked so fragile and helpless as she took glances at him while she put his clothes in the hamper and gave him his pajamas. Aki felt guilt, wondering if her secret has been the cause of this, but no. How could he know?

No one else knew this except for Choi, Yahiko and her father, but she also knew that they won't betray her.

Aki turned to look at Koichi and found him staring at her, his eyes simply glued to her as she moved around in his room. She paid no attention to him as she fixed his things, only to be distracted to see their wedding photo on his desk beside his laptop alongside a photo of her when she was still 'dating' him that he took with his mobile phone more than a year ago. She froze and didn't know what to do, but she simply played it off as having not seen it.

"I'll just bring you your dinner here so you don't need to leave your bed. I'll be back," she told him.

She turned her heel, but Koichi reached out and grabbed her wrist; his hot hand wrapped around her skin stopping her. Aki and koichi were silent, with Aki unsure of what to say.

"Why is it... you're not mad at me?"

Aki slowly turned around, her eyes latching onto his and saw him looking...

...distraught.

"...should I be?", she asked him in a weak voice.

Does she have the right to be mad for an affair that she also herself has gotten herself into? They were at par with each other now, guilt overriding their systems, well on her part, and she can only look away from his eyes as the truth of it all has sunk in.

Since she did see Koichi and Ai Yashida before her eyes, maybe it was time she also become fair and tell him the truth that he wasn't the only one.

But what if Koichi uses that against her?

Either way she'll be on the losing end whether she admits it or not. Aki decided on the lesser evil and decided to just endure it all. At least, her conscience is clean and she can fortify their marriage by sticking true to her virtue and vows.

Looking at Koichi once more, she went closer to him as he leaned back on the bed. She brought the blanket to his chin, tucking him in as she smiled sadly doing so. Koichi's hand emerged from the blanket, wiping tears that escaped her eyes as she made him comfortable in her own way. Stopping for a second, she met his eyes once more and allowed herself to sit on the edge of the bed from his gentle tug.

"Stay a while..." he muttered.

"Aren't you hungry?"

Koichi quietly shook his head and brought himself closer to her. "Can you stay here until I fall asleep..?" he asked her.

That request alone sent her heart sinking, her whole body unsure. There were mixed feelings that told her to go and stay, but also told her that she didn't owe him anything. Aki let her lesser evil win, shifting in her place to have a clear view of him. There he was laying like a little boy hugging his favorite pillow, clinging to the softness as he looked up at her, waiting for her answer. Aki saw him look away again, seemingly feeling hurt that she rejected him, but she simply put a hand to his head and gave it a simple pat.

"...okay... If you want me to..", she said, now gently stroking his hair.

Koichi gave a deep sigh and closed his eyes. There was a small curl at the side of his lip that formed, but Aki wasn't sure. All she knew was, as she saw that, it made her smile a little too, albeit small. If only they were like this in the beginning, maybe she didn't have to...

...but those thoughts didn't continue on.

Her husband was there. Thinking of another man...

...it wasn't the right time for that. From now on, there is no time to think about Kippei... her lover... The one who truly loved her...

She swore to herself to be with Koichi from now on, right? It was the right thing to do.

Watching Koichi fall asleep was calming, but something inside her didn't feel right. Everything fell too in place.

Aki felt there was something wrong.

The quiet that blanketed both of them was room disrupted when her phone rang, breaking the solitude in his room. Aki quickly switched it to silent, her eyes darting to Koichi. To her relief, he was still asleep. It ached a little to leave him just when they were having some moment, but looking at the unknown number calling her, she wondered who it was to be calling again and again. Aki deftly stood up and went out of Koichi's room, turning off the lights as she closed the door behind her. Whoever it was was still calling her. Aki stared at the number, trying to remember where she saw it but had no lightbulb moment. There was no choice but to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Is this Aki Natsukawa?"

It was a woman's voice, and it seemed VERY familiar.

Aki frowned. There was no mistaking the other person on the other line.

"Why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be calling my husband?" she quietly retorted, trying to maintain her calm as she gripped her phone.

Ai Yashida laughed on the other line insultingly. "You're really smart for not even asking who I am. You seem to really know me, Aki."

"No I don't. The fact that you're my husband's mistress is enough. I don't need to know anything else, and please don't call me by my name. It brings me unwanted chills."

Why was Koichi's mistress calling her?

"Tsk, tsk. Not smart, _Aki,_" said Ai. "I was calling to check up on my darling Koichi. He's been mighty sick. I was inviting him over to our special hidden place but he's been avoiding me. I take it that he cares I don't get sick, but it's been a week already and I am getting lonely."

Aki frowned, anger flooding her as she listened to Ai rile her. Instead of lashing out, Aki simply maintained her cool. There is a reason to call her and she knew Ai Yashida might be playing some game on her.

But, what does she want?

"I don't care. What do you want?" Aki bluntly asked.

"Let's get to business since you're not one to chat with your husband's special friend."

Aki rolled her eyes and didn't move from where she stood, but there was no room to be lax. The game starts now.

"I take that my Koichi is home?"

"So what if he is?"

"Tell him I want him to come over tomorrow and I want to make you understand that Koichi belongs to me."

Aki sighed heavily and said, "Okay, and?" She no longer wanted to talk to Ai. There was no time to discuss her trivial shit since she had more important things to do like move on and take care of her husband who's sick.

"You're not taking this seriously are you?" Ai sounded confrontational now. "You really have no idea what you have gotten yourself into."

Aki scowled. The nerve of this woman who just happens to be a mistress and a gold-digger to talk to her in such a degrading tone.

"Look, no one gets by me. I get what I want and whoever crosses me always loses in the end. If you plan on telling my husband and everyone else what I have with Koichi; no one will believe you. You have no proof. Other than that, Koichi isn't as man enough as he used to be to adhere to our relationship because he's guilty of hurting you." ranted Ai. From what she'd said, it was obvious something had happened. After a sigh, she added, "But really, Koichi sees you as nothing, Aki. Believe me."

Aki knew that for a fact, but she did notice Koichi becoming a little more open to her. It was like as if he was already accepting her and he was ready to embody their vows.

"Aside from that, I'd want you to gladly convince your father that my husband is really willing to pay triple to acquire your family's company. Don't worry, I'll make sure to be nice enough and still take care of your stocks.. You're my Koichi's petty wife after all. I at least need to ensure him staying with me without hurting you."

"I'm sorry, but my father isn't interested in tainting his name with you and your husband," Aki sassed. "And Koichi maybe trapped and disillusioned, but he's coming home to me now. That's all that matters to me. Both of us want to try to work things out, so we're going to make it work."

Ai laughed at the other end of the line. "You little idiot, how sure are you?"

Aki wasn't going to tell her she wasn't sure herself, but she'll just play her cards with confidence even if she was heading into the unknown with this viper. "I am sure," she answered calmly.

"Aki, there are so many things you don't know that I do about Koichi. It's best you heard them from me straight. Also, I suggest you cooperating with me... You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself and drive yourself to suicide just to escape the shame," Ai taunted.

"What? Why- why would I do that?" Aki retorted flabbergasted. "You're out of your mind! I don't need to hear this, you're wasting my time!"

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with this woman? Has she been sex-starved for weeks that she's resorting to threatening Aki just to have her fill of Koichi? Aki put a hand to her head and felt the onslaught of a headache from listening to Ai Yashida screw with her head. However, why the hell is this woman so confident in what she's currently doing?

"Evading this isn't going to save your ass, Aki. You and I, we're both the same. There's no need to play off like this pious wife for everyone to commend. You're even fouler than I am," Ai said with relish. "But that will just be between us, I promise, but on one condition. Like I said, cooperate or else I will ruin your life."

Aki was floored. Too much is already enough for her.

"Fouler than you? How can I be fouler than you?! You're the one milking off your husband's money and choking on other men's cocks!" Aki lashed on the phone. She forgot that Koichi was resting in his room and once remembered it, sighed heavily. She hastily went inside her bedroom and closed the door behind her. "Look, whatever game you're playing, please, leave me out. I am not you and obviously will never be you."

"Stop being a pretentious bitch. I may fuck around and have myself plowed by other men, but your husband will ALWAYS be my favorite. And what the hell are you talking about? Remember, this is business. Either cooperate or I will destroy you, you self- righteous piece of shit. You're no one in Koichi's life and you're obviously beneath me. If you want to know everything, I'll gladly meet you for lunch in the Napa Hotel on Monday. I'm charitable enough to spare you from the things that you don't know so you can at least know where trash like yourself belong."

"Shut up. I don't need to see you, nor listen to you compare me to yourself, but fine, seeing that you're not going to stop this, I will go just so you understand I want you to leave me alone. You don't know me enough to say such things. You're a damn whore and everyone knows it. No one just has the guts to rise up against you because you'll rob them off their hard work. You'll come down on your knees one day and- oh, I'm sorry, I forgot how good you are at that already."

Aki's temper flared. This woman was pushing her to her limit and Aki can only take so much from her. To compare her to herself was an insult, but in a way, hurt her. She did engage herself in an affair, but it was for a whole different reason. Even if she did, at least she's now trying to start over with Koichi. Reasons can change the situation drastically and on her part, Aki felt guiltily at ease with that. She didn't engage in the affair with Kippei just to have fun or for sex; she did it because Koichi wasn't showing her that she was special, that she was someone to him and that she was his wife. She found all that in Kippei-

_But... in the long run you did enjoy it, Aki.. You found what you were looking for in him. You know deep in your heart that he's the only one who can give you those feelings, and it hurt you to leave and forget him because you know it will never be the same.. _

Her mind was just being an asshole to her, sobering her from her swaying thoughts about the sadness of the fact that what she felt with Kippei will never be reached by Koichi. Aki was wavering in between their pros and cons, but always found herself in favor of Kippei rather than her own husband.

Why?

Aki and Koichi were starting anew, and having unhealthy thoughts of the man that used to be her secret lover wasn't really allowing her to go anywhere but backward. Somewhere within her was searching for him, yearning and reaching out, but she knew if she allowed it, it will only hinder her improving relationship with Koichi. She wanted to understand herself, but it was hard to since there is still a part of her that couldn't let go of him even after swearing that she will from now on focus on Koichi. She loved her husband, but she was starting to acknowledge now that she had feelings for Kippei too. She wasn't sure what it was, but she needed to stop it. It was for the best, she told herself. Talking to Ai Yashida now somehow made her sober enough to confront what she'd done with Kippei, but in a more hurtful context. She wasn't sure if telling Ai she was a whore, slut, whatever was smart of her since both of them were women who've gone through an affair. She had different reasons though, and Ai was still philandering.

However...

"That may be so, but at least, I didn't get pregnant with another man's bastard kid."

Aki's phone fell on the floor with a dull thud, with Ai Yashida's laughter echoing triumphantly from the earpiece, breaking the quiet of her room.

* * *

"Aki, can you help?"

"What? What's gotten you so frantic?"

"Hurry! Put your fingers on the holes and- HURRY! YOU'RE TOO SLOW!"

"What? Like this?"

"Nggggghh... YES! Thanks, Aki!"

Aki leaned back on her seat as she watched Yahiko wipe the screen of his iPhone next. "What the hell are you playing?" she asked.

"Dumb Ways To Die. It's a fun app and I have been trying to unlock all the characters. I need to get twenty-five hundred more to unlock the dude in the clothes dryer," he nonchalantly explained without looking at her, his tongue sticking out in concentration as he now tapped hastily on his screen. "DIE, BEES!"

Aki sighed as she watched Yahiko play. Seeing him so carefree and happy gave her envy growing fondly in her heart. She wished she was that free and content with herself. Shrugging it off, she remembered Yahiko had a deadline to meet in the afternoon.

"Wait a minute, you have a deadline today. Why aren't you doing your article? You're wasting precious time playing that during work hours," she pointed out.

"That sounds like an Ebihara thing to say,"

The mention of the name 'Ebihara' made something in her belly churn. Aki turned around and saw Choi behind them, a hand placed on his hip. His eyes drifted to Yahiko and frowned. "Hey Choi."

"'Sup, Mr. Watanabe. Are you here to tell me to do my work? Can I just have another five minutes to beat my score?", asked Yahiko without lifting his gaze. He was now drawing something on his iPhone, his eyebrows meeting in the middle. "GODDAMNED MUSTARD, WHY FEED A DAMN HOTDOG TO A RATTLESNAKE?"

Choi leaned over and asked, "Are you playing Dumb Ways To Die?" Seeing Yahiko's progress in the game, he suddenly scoffed. "Dude, seriously, you can't play that, your fingers are too fat."

"SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE! Go talk to Aki, I know you're only visiting this place because of her! Stop disrupting my concentration!", said Yahiko, pushing Choi away with one hand. The desperation on his face to beat his score was evident.

Choi rolled his eyes and sat down on Aki's desk. "So yeah, your idiot friend is right. Here," He handed over an envelope to Aki.

"What's this?" Aki opened the envelope and her eyes grew wide. "Your dad's restobar is already finished?!"

Yahiko looked up, surprised. "What?! Really? Am I invited too?"

Choi nodded to Yahiko's question and turned back to Aki. "Opening is this weekend and I'd really like you to come. You can bring along Koichi if you want, but I don't know..." The tone in Choi's voice seemed pretty uncertain. "Would he be interested to go?"

Aki looked down and thought for a moment. Maybe inviting Koichi would be nice. After all, they were working on their marital status. This could take it one level higher.

"Wait, didn't Ebihara design your restobar?" asked Yahiko blankly, still playing his iPhone.

The air between Aki and Choi grew stiff, with Choi's eyes drifting to Aki who simply lifted her gaze and didn't say anything. Yahiko was right and there was no way to avoid meeting with that fact as it was a sobering reality that Aki was bound to see Kippei if she went. Her mind processed what she was going to do and how she was going to deal with the impending confrontation.

"Uhm, you don't need to go if you feel awkward.." Choi told her, looking apologetic.

_That's right... I haven't told Choi anything after my flight to Nagoya..._ thought Aki. She smiled at Choi and decided that she needed to do what she had to do. "Nah, I'll go."

"You sure? I'll make sure to have bouncers there to haul off men brawling for your sake," joked Choi.

Yet Aki knew it was a possible thing to happen.

Looking at the clock, she saw it was already close to lunchtime.

Aki's insides plummeted. She remembered Ai's call to her and made it a mental note to go and see her so she can at least know what she wanted. She stood up and took her bag with her, sighed and smiled at Choi.

"Choi, you're worrying too much," she told him. "I don't think any of that will happen. Just have faith in me and Kippei."

"I do, but not your husband... and his mistress."

Ai Yashida's coming too? Of course, the Watanabes have business with the Yashidas, it's impossible she won't go. What a damn circumstance, but not hard to deal with... is it? Aki smiled wryly and left Choi and Yahiko, with the latter's triumphant yell at her wake.

She wished she can feel victorious over all this... and hoped that her meeting with Ai Yashida will be to her advantage as well.

. . . . . . . . . .

Ai Yashida wore a plunging top and wore her red lipstick, her staple as a viper who poisoned everything she came into contact with. She smoked her cigarette, nonchalantly blowing the smoke away from Aki as she now settled the stick on the ashtray to commence their girl talk. Aki simply kept her eyes on Ai, trying to understand why she even needed to go and see her when she knew that it could be as simple as falling into her trap.

"Before we start, I must say, seeing you up close again makes me impressed. You really are beautiful," said Ai, looking at her.

Aki sighed. "Cut the crap. Why did you want to see me?"

"Initially, I thought you weren't really going, but seeing as guilt really does make you do desperate things, I am pleased," Ai sipped her chardonnay and continued on. "You must have been shaken to the core with what I've said."

"I am not," Aki said, but in truth she was.

Ai Yashida stared at her and smiled cheekily. She took out a piece of paper and handed it to Aki.

It was a copy of her hospital record from when she fainted recently. She remembered waking up with Koichi beside her bed sleeping. Aki's eyes scanned it quickly, until...

* * *

**Pregnant**: X :** YES** : **NO**

* * *

****How did Ai Yashida acquire something as confidential as this?

Wasn't this illegal?

Aki racked her brain but she was too lost. The hospital record looked legit. Too legit in fact that it was questionable how Ai got it. It was a troubling fact, but somehow she found herself asking how far along she was and when she conceived. Looking back, she recalled the sleepless nights, the vomiting, the mood swings, sensitivity to smell and her unusual appetite... It all made sense now. Aki turned cold and clammy, trying to hide her trembling hands as she lowered the record onto the table, her eyes taking in all the information. Try as she might, no matter how much she willed herself to see differently, there was still that 'X' beside the YES.

She's never seen letters so hateful in her entire life.

Aki looked up, distraught, lost for words as she felt her whole body grow weak. "How did... How did you..."

Ai looked at her slyly. "It doesn't matter how I got it." She smiled wider and asked, "Seeing that I know something that could potentially destroy your life and humiliate your family, will you cooperate now?"

Speechless, Aki looked down once more. There was still that X beside the YES.

Another truth.

And it was inside her.

What she needed to know now was whose is it.


	18. Chapter 18

Aki settled the paper down on the tabletop, obviously riddled with shock as she took a sip from the glass of water the waiter served as he passed by. Ai was simply smoking nonchalantly, lighting up another stick as she finally flashed Aki a triumphant smile.

"I guess you're not really as pure as they say," said Ai, blowing away the smoke from her cigarette. "A child with another man who isn't your husband.. I must say, you're pretty adventurous. A woman like yourself... who knew you could harbor such a secret?"

Aki bit down her tongue and stared at the X on her hospital file. It was a sobering X, even hateful. Slowly, she lifted her gaze and met with Ai's eyes, her whole body shaking as everything now felt all too surreal and unfortunately true at that present moment. There was no kindness in Ai's eyes, not even a tinge of friendliness nor humanity left in her. This woman was the devil, and Aki was one who was on the verge of selling her soul to her. There was a tension between them that the other people in the hotel weren't aware of but it loomed heavily making Aki realize this woman wasn't one who was going to leave this place without her succumbing to her requests.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Aki muttered, her voice low with building rage. "How could you be this demonic to even steal records that do not belong to you?"

Ai didn't seem perturbed by what she said. In fact, she looked like she was having a grand time seeing Aki look uncomfortable. She took another drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke away.

"I just did what I had to do to get my way, Aki. Like I said, Koichi belongs to me alone and you're just his toy to get ahead." She coyly smiled at Aki, but the evil glint in her eye was present. "Look, it doesn't matter how I got the record. Do understand that you need to rethink what your next move will be since I have something that can really destroy you."

"Why are you doing this?", Aki asked weakly, disbelief in her voice. "Are you planning on exploiting this just so you can have what you want? You think you can get away with this? Koichi... you'll end up hurting him too if you keep this up."

Ai gave a giggle, only to stop once Aki mentioned she could hurt Koichi by what she's doing. "Koichi will believe me and anything that I will say, Aki. If you even try to shield yourself from this, that record's against you anyway. Do you think you will have a chance in having the married life you wanted? No. You stole Koichi from me and I am just leveling everything just so you can understand the pain you caused me. He was mine to begin with and you're just some drab, uninteresting little sap who happened to have good connections.. that's why he chose you." She took a drag of her cigarette and ratted on, her former confidence faltering. "His dratted parents met your father and arranged it. My family wasn't favored by Koichi's parents since we were at a financial collapse. Koichi and I were seeing each other when he broke to me that he was to be married off to you. I... I had my own engagement, yet I still chose to see Koichi because he is the one I truly love, but you... you stole him from me," she said bitterly, her fist shaking on the table.

Aki studied the look on Ai's face. She was becoming more human now; the anger was there along with her own pain. She can no longer see the mistress, but a woman scorned by her lover who left her for someone else.

"I almost died knowing he chose someone who he thought was better for himself, but I didn't give up. I cancelled my own engagement-"

"To Choi?", said Aki.

Slowly, things made sense.

Ai went pale and looked away. "His family wasn't better off than mine. Their breweries were going out of business and my family didn't want to deal with that. I didn't care, all I wanted was Koichi. He and I belonged together. You just don't understand how you ruined it all. You destroyed my own happiness and Koichi's. We were happy together, why did you even have to come along?", she said accusingly. "My parents egged me on to meet with my current husband now and I am just stuck with an affair because Koichi is now married to you. You stole what was mine... You just destroyed everything and I want you to pay for what you've done. I am now rich and have all I want, but with you in the way, Koichi will never return to me. I am living a lie and it's all because of you."

Aki now understood. Somehow, the affair Ai and Koichi had was just for them to continue on what they had left off prior to the engagement. And their affair was also Ai's revenge on Aki. In a way, Aki no longer felt anger towards her, but more on pity. Ai only threw herself to the bottom of the pit for her own disillusionment, financial advantage and happiness. To Ai, having an affair was the only way she can escape the pain of not being with Koichi and it was only her way to be with him as well. There was a pang in her heart that magnified, coursing through her body as Ai's words resonated all over her. She didn't really feel the way she used to towards her husband's mistress, more on she felt pity that she was that disillusioned and desperate to keep Koichi even if she knew she was never going to get him back. She looked even more hopeless by doing this, threatening her former love's wife thinking that she will get away with all this. Somehow, Aki couldn't bring herself to get angry. There was even a guilt that her marriage to him destroyed their happiness, but she didn't choose that for herself but her parents. Thinking about it now, she can only feel herself not really far from how Ai felt. She had her affair with Kippei to look for the love she was refused and to give herself leverage to geet through the life she currently had. It wasn't because she wanted to purposefully get back at Koichi, but Aki just wanted somewhere to belong and be treated like someone who was needed, wanted and loved. Aki never imagined that marrying Koichi would provoke someone like Ai to succumb to her current position and be married off to someone else, but thing is, she allowed it on her on.

Just like Aki allowed herself to be married off to Koichi.

Ai and Aki thought of their families sakes, but didn't really want what was handed to them. Their affairs were their secret dreams and wistful hopes that can no longer be a possibility because they've already gone in too deep to come up to the surface and change it.

Affairs were no longer just raunchy or something lewd that only consisted of sex and secrets.

Ai Yashida had her own reasons and having affairs was her only way of grasping the past and keeping herself at an advantage so that she was never left by anyone ever again. Still, it wasn't right, but she did it to be with the one she loved. But was love enough? It obviously wasn't since Koichi was still married to Aki and always came home to her. Aki pitied Ai more for it and felt that Ai didn't deserve to hold onto something that has already moved on from her. She needed to be living her own life instead of destroying others and living it just for Koichi. Even if she felt the responsibility to tell Ai all this, she didn't. Ai wasn't going to listen to her anyway and she had her own problems to deal with.

"I'm sorry...", said Aki weakly. "i have nothing else to say but... I am sorry. To be honest, I didn't know Koichi had someone before marrying me. He didn't tell me anything and we don't... we don't really talk. But... even if that happened to you... You cannot blame me if he chose me because I didn't force him to do so. Like you, I was put in a position where in I had to put my family first, but it doesn't mean I was willing. I just didn't want to disappoint anyone. I don't know if that was your case ofr allowing them, but for me, it's entirely different."

"Liar! Just because your family is way up there, you thought you could buy off Koichi with better connections so you can have him! You knew he was good at his job and knew that he was someone who was going to be influential one day!"

Aki felt cold all of a sudden. The accusations brought her to a point where in she can no longer hear of such fallacies. Ai Yashida was wrong and obviously didn't know what she was doing. Aki, even thought she was married to a promising businessman, wasn't thoroughly happy and enjoying the newlywed life she had. The series of ugly truths are now rearing their ugly heads and making everything darkly sobering. Ai was not aware of how Aki was treated and Aki didn't need to tell her and explain everything. She can accuse her all she wants, even blackmail her for this, but Aki finally has had enough and gave Ai a glare. What a waste. For a moment back there, Aki actually started to care for her. Now, it was back to zero.

"Do you even understand what you're saying?", she muttered in a low voice. "Do you think I plotted this? I didn't even know who he was, let alone what he was like. If I was that interested in him, I would be that desperate to have him choose me over you instead. But who is he choosing now? Who is he coming home to? I never forced him to do anything because I love him and I wouldn't want him to feel like I am taking over his life. How do you think your affair has gotten this far? Aren't you thinking? You don't seem to understand how drastic our situation is and we're not going anywhere by threatening each other with things you think will get you at an advantage."

"You're just blackmailing him with our affair because you know that's the only way you can keep him to yourself! You know if my husband found out, everything he worked hard for will all be in vain and you will come out smelling like a rose, but I am not going to allow that." Ai looked at Aki with a triumphant grin and said, "How is that turning out? That's not working for you now, is it? The tables have turned and you think that pure girl act will last you? You're worse than me in all other ways because you're pregnant with a child who doesn't belong to him and that alone can destroy your reputation. Who's the one with the upper hand now?"

Aki couldn't believe what she was hearing. It was idiotic to the point it was redundant. "You're... stupid."

Ai recoiled seeing Aki look grave, her amber eyes losing their luster as the turned opaque with a harshness that was never there before. Aki stood up and took her hospital record and stashed it in her bag, placed down money and before leaving Ai's company looked back at her one more time.

"I don't mind you destroying my life... but if you love Koichi that much... Shouldn't you just leave him be to accept what our lives now are? If you love him... you shouldn't do anything that will hurt him. I love him and have stopped my own happiness just to see to it that he's cared for by his wife even though he hurts her dearly and doesn't care about her. I am learning to love him more each day and even if it hurts, I cannot hurt him the way he hurts me."

Ai's grin crumbled. Her words seemed to have penetrated her.

"I will take responsibility for it myself and not hide from what I have caused myself. You don't need to go to the extreme to achieve what you want from me. You've already destroyed too much and too many lives and reputations just because of that selfish love you have for Koichi... Families are broken and businesses have suffered because you thought I stole him away from you... but we both know Koichi... He's just someone who wants to get ahead. Stop denying yourself that. If he did care about you, he wouldn't really be doing your husband's whims and see you for you instead with no employment benefits hanging abive his head to reach."

"Don't even tell me you know Koichi better than I do! You don't know anything!", said Ai angrily.

Aki looked at Ai with pity. "If he loved you that much... then Koichi wouldn't have left you for something so trivial like his reputation or work." She looked down and then said, "I don't know and don't need to know what you and my husband have been through... but for his sake, I ask of you not to hurt him if you do love him like you say you do."

"You have got some nerve.. You're one to be looked upon with imploring eyes yet you're the one who goes into an affair herself, comes back with another man's child and nobly takes the fall so that no one else gets hurt. I take that maybe you even care for me by saying those words," said Ai scornfully but a bitter smile played on her red lips. "But that isn't working and I won't fall for such an act! Your care isn't needed and your noble intentions are not going to lighten up judgment placed on you!"

Aki scoffed lightly. "Care for you? I did minutes ago but now, I don't.. I pity you. But I pity my husband more and most of all, myself. Whatever people say about me will scar me for life, but I am one to take all the blame if need be. That's all I've been doing all this time. And this isn't me being noble. I am not just doing this for my own sake, but I am simply doing this because it is the right thing to do. I don't want to see people getting hurt because of me. I hurt you, my father... Koichi... and..."

_...and Kippei..._

Aki looked down and sighed to herself. Yes, she did hurt him but she had to make things right now and no longer look back on those memories that she left in Nagoya with him. She can't just look back without feeling the guilt and now that she's finally coming to the end of all this, she needed to atone for what she's done on her own terms and no longer let fate and destiny do it for her. Ai's accusations, her father's disappointment, her husband's reputation and her conscience... it all burdened Aki that she now wanted to give up... but she can't.

She just wanted to make everyone happy.

She just wanted everyone to feel peace.

She was willing to sacrifice what she can in order to attain them.

Everyone she's hurt deserves that, that even if she has to take all the blame, let go of Kippei and face a life she's unsure of with Koichi, she will do it.

But there was always one thing that was sure...

...she never regretted Kippei.

Ai looked up at Aki and tutted. "Before you go, I do want you to do something for me if you want me to keep this and not let everyone know of your dirty little secret."

Ai Yashida put out her cigarette and stood up.

"Convince your father to sell the stocks to my husband... and..."

"...and?"

"And get rid of that baby."

Aki turned her head to look at Ai once more, her eyes wide. "What... what are you saying?"

"You did say you love Koichi too, right? Get rid of it."

Aki was frozen in her place. Ai's words echoed in her whole system. Asking her to get rid of the child inside her was a sin against all living things if it was brought upon intentionally. She absent-mindedly brought a hand to her stomach, feeling something inside her churn horridly as she brought herself to swallow what Ai had put in her mind. she did say she was going to sacrifice what she can, but sacrifice the child inside her?

Can she really do such a thing?

"That's... that's murder," Aki weakly said.

"That's the only way you won't hurt Koichi and for me to keep this a secret. It will also keep me from telling my husband to demote Koichi for my sake. My husband loves me and I will use that to my advantage just so you can understand that you are in no place to still be a hero. Aside from that, killing off something that you seem to obviously want will mean I finally exacted my revenge on you. Even if you think it isn't going to make me happy, thinking of you suffering and crying like I did will make me happy even just for a little while. You... you did this to yourself, you deserve it."

Aki merely stared at Ai and didn't say anything more. She decided it was best to just leave it at that and go on her way, but Ai stopped her before taking a step.

"Tell me... why?"

"Why what?"

"Why you went for an affair,"

Aki lowered her gaze and slowly faced Ai.

There was an unsure expression on Ai's face that seemed to want to know more. Aki can only see herself reflected in them and knew that Ai personally couldn't believe what she'd done. Even Aki couldn't believe it, but now she seemed pretty sobered by everything. Seeing Ai look at her that way, it only made everything clear for her.

"Koichi couldn't love me the way he loved you... and I wanted to belong to something and someone even just for a moment. Koichi... even if he hurt me greatly, I am willing to give up what happiness and joy I experienced in my affair just so I can love him more and be someone he will someday rely on until the day we die. You only thought of yourself and how I must've been smug having Koichi to myself, but no. You have no idea how much I cried and how much heartbreak he caused me because he couldn't treat me like someone at par with him." Aki smiled sadly. "This isn't me just wanting a thrill or going along with 'all adults do that' phase, no. I have a certain ideal to marriage and I broke it because with Koichi, even if I tried to find the meaning with him, I couldn't because he was busy being with someone else... and that was you. I did my best to be someone worthy for him, of his love and affection, but he couldn't look at me the way he looks at you. Going for an affair might've been a desperate move of mine, but aren't we all stupid when it comes to love? We do things we would never do just to be happy with the one we truly love and even if it's wrong, to us... it will always be the right we've always been looking for."

Aki smiled at Ai. There was a shock on Ai's face that wasn't denied by how wide her eyes went.

"You see, you've always had him all along... I had no room in his heart.. until now."

Ai's gaze wavered.

"You have no idea how conflicted I am. My emotions wouldn't let me rest and my own thoughts torture me every second I am alive as of now. All this because I couldn't escape my husband's infidelity.. All because he couldn't love me and show me that I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.. those were my reasons for my own affair. I don't need you to understand how it is on my part, but I didn't do it to exact revenge on Koichi.. I wanted to.. but if there is one thing that my affair taught me, it is not to bear a grudge and forgive, move on and just look for your happiness while you live your life to the fullest. My affair set me free.. and not once did I feel oppressed. When I saw you with Koichi, I saw how happy he was and how happy you looked as well. I even thought you two looked good together and pitied myself more because here I am, his wife, not even being able to be at par with his own mistress. My affair freed me from that... even if it was built on emotions that have no permanence because I am bound to Koichi and we're both supposed to be together until we die."

Aki's heart started to tighten as Kippei's face flashed in her mind unexpectedly. His smile and how he told her that she was love incarnate as he finally attained forgiveness and happiness through her; the sincerity of his smile and the tenderness of his words.

But all that is in the past.

Her happiness no longer resided in him.

She already decided to look at her happiness somewhere else and that somewhere was with Koichi. Even if it was already this late for him to warm up to her, she was willing to accept him in anyway and every way because that was her vow.

"Are you not mad at him..? At us?"

Ai looked at Aki in disbelief. Aki simply shrugged.

"I used to be mad, I used to hate you so much... but seeing that you're somehow like me, I can't. In fact, like I said, I pity you.. but I pity myself the most. I hated Koichi but now..." Aki shrugged once more, unsure, yet what came next seemed to be all she can say. "I think he's actually trying to be a husband to me after seeing how much I endured. That was all I wanted from the beginning... It he only cared even just a little, maybe I wouldn't have gone through this mess and he and I will be happy, but that isn't the case." Aki sighed and continued on. "He couldn't love me the way he loves you and I had to accept that in another man's arms. Even if that made me suffer, it didn't hurt as much because I was needed by someone else. Despite the fact I know my other life with the man will end soon, I was happy and loved... Now that I am with Koichi once more after leaving that part of me behind, I would want to show him that I am someone worthy of him because someone else saw me in that light. It will take time and tremendous effort, but somehow, thanks to my affair, I chose what was best for everyone and let go of what I needed to release. Koichi... he's trying to be a husband to me now and even if I don't really need to apologize for this, I'll say it anyway.. I am sorry that he chose me over you, but that's the way it has to be. I want to go forward so I can be happy with him."

"But you just said you affair-"

"Happiness is a choice... and I choose to be happy with Koichi instead."

How Aki said that made her feel so hollow that she felt like something took over and said that for her. Her response was zombie-like, even close to deathly that she felt cold inside after.

"But your affair... Didn't you love the man you were with? I bet the happiness you felt was heaven and you must've loved him too.. Maybe even love him until now."

It was strange that her own husband's mistress could say such things to her, but it didn't matter now. She's let go of Kippei, what else is there to recognize?

Aki lightly laughed a little. She knew one way or another, Ai was going to use that as another ace against her. Somehow, it didn't seem to bother her since she could see Ai looking less indignant now, but more on uncomfortable with all that Aki has told her. "Why? Are you going to tell him yourself? You did say he was going to believe you no matter what you said."

Ai Yashida looked almost regretful, but she simply jutted her jaw and said, "About what you said... He's not trying, but he _is_ doing his part to be your husband."

Aki didn't say anything but just waited for Ai to talk more.

"After you fainted from the hospital, his visits to me became less frequent and when we made love it wasn't as passionate as it used to be.." Ai looked pained, but she went on and elaborated more. "One night, he just told me he couldn't do it anymore because he was scared of losing you and being found out, most especially after you saw us together. He said you might tell your father and cut off ties because of it. He didn't want to shame his family by continuing to see me after you found us out. Choi was there too so it makes Koichi look disadvantageous. Aside from that, if my husband found out...", Ai didn't continue anymore.

Aki remembered that night and the pain of it once more ached in her chest, yet it was horrible how it all boiled down to Koichi. He still prioritized his reputation and his work, but hearing Ai say he couldn't keep the affair up was somehow relieving, but the fact that his work was still attached to it made it stale.

"I didn't tell my father and Choi leaves it all in my hands," said Aki. "And I can't put Koichi in a situation where in he will lose everything he's worked hard for."

Ai looked a little surprised. "You didn't? Why not?"

"I have my own reasons. And besides, like you said, I am not as pure as people think."

"I could've almost admired you, but you just keep on giving me more reasons to use all that you've said against you," said Ai with a smile, however, it disappeared almost instantly. "Still, even if all these has come between us, I still want you to lose the baby."

"Leave the child out of this," defended Aki, a serious tone on her voice. "It is not your decision if I am to keep it or not."

Ai didn't back down. "Lose it or I will get rid of it myself. That is the only thing that will equalize everything among us and having that child will just put everything Koichi worked hard for in vain, along with your secret-keeping. You can't keep that forever."

Aki put a protective hand on her stomach. "Don't go overstepping your boundaries."

"If you won't get rid of it, I will."

The heated stares they exchanged weren't cooling anytime soon. It was then Aki finally made a decision that she knew will change everything.

"Who said I was going to keep it a secret forever?", said Aki, finally leaving the hotel as she made her way to her father's office.

She knew she had more of an ace than Ai, but she cannot rely on that alone.

Now was the time to make things right. She needed to be fair to everyone else.

Even if she wasn't fair with her own self.

Of with Kippei.

* * *

_Meanwhile, in another part of town..._

* * *

Two men looked at each other face to face. To the unseeing eye, it seemed like a business meeting, but it wasn't.

The husband and the lover sized each other up, obviously aware of the reason why they were both there. Their eyes didn't leave each other, both of them waiting for the other to speak first. Like samurais in a duel, none made their move but only kept their eyes locked with no hint of distraction. They sat before each other, a mere table separating them and it seemed vast, along with their fondness for each other. They met at a party months back, but neither has forgotten the other's face. On the lover's part, aside from his face, there were more things he couldn't forget and now was the time to bring it all in the open. The husband finally broke the tension by smiling coldly at the other man before him.

"Is this about my wife?", he asked bluntly. "I can this isn't about work."

The lover didn't deny it not one bit. "Yes. It is about her."

The husband's eyebrow twitched. "What about my wife?"

"It's not only her, it's me too," said the lover. He crossed his legs with poise and tilted his head at the husband. "I know you have an affair."

"And so?" asked the husband completely unaffected. "I know my wife is aware of that."

The lover simply asked, "Yes I know... but, are you aware about ours?"

* * *

Aki can only bite down her lip as she waited for her father to come in his office. She was nervous and obviously not ready, but her talk with Ai Yashida rendered her wanting to look cool in her exit and now she has no escape. If she was to make things right, she has to make it right with her father first and say everything. After all, he was all she had and there was no other person who could understand and listen to her in her family but him. The door clicked open and in came Ringo Gojo looking as jolly as ever, but upon placing his eyes on his daughter, immediately looked worried.

"What is the matter, Aki?", he asked. As he sat himself down on the chair where Aki was, he opened his mouth to speak but Aki cut him off.

"Dad, I'm pregnant," she hurriedly told him.

Ringo's face changed faster than a set of traffic lights. From shock to confusion, it returned to shock and he can only look at his daughter with his eyes wide and a huge smile growing. "Is- is this true?", he asked weakly.

Aki nodded, taking out the stolen hospital record and thrust it to her father. "Here dad. Here is the record I had when I fainted."

Ringo adjusted his glasses and frowned. "Aki, kiddo... you stole this? Acquiring this is illegal," he told her firmly.

"I know that... but can you please listen to me...?"

Ringo put the paper on the tabletop and nodded.

Aki continued on and told her father everything that had transpired; how she went to Nagoya and confronted Kippei, not bothering to leave out bits and pieces of what they exchanged and the goodbye she's told him. She told her father how Koichi was horrible to her before but now seemed to be realizing the error of his ways and how Ai Yashida and her met up earlier to discuss what she wanted Aki to do. She told her father everything that she'd hid and told him that she was scared of hurting him, that choosing what was right for everyone else was the right thing she's done in a long time. The more Aki told Ringo of her choices, Ringo's face started to show more agony, pity gleaming in his eyes as he watched his daughter confess to her suffering all this time. Once she's finished, there was silence, with Aki's sniffles only heard in Ringo's office.

Aki bowed her head and wringed the fabric of her skirt. She bit her lip and took a deep breath to calm herself from the litany she regaled her father with. Images of Koichi, Kippei, Choi and everyone else connected to her flashed in her mind, making her even more nervous as she took one step to her emancipation. It was the right choice for everyone, she thought, and making things right is the best thing to do.

However, it all boiled down to one question : Whose child is it?

"Dad, you see... it's not as rosy and wonderful as you think.." Aki placed a hand to her stomach. "I don't... I am not really sure..."

"Of who the father is?"

Aki didn't look up at Ringo and quietly nodded. Tears formed once more and she was ready to receive a scolding, however, all that dissipated when Ringo simply reached over as he placed an arm around her shoulder. Droplets of tears fell on her fists on her knees and Aki can feel the sob rising up her throat. She's disappointed her father once more, but he wasn't taking offense. His gentleness as a father exuded from the tenderness of his gesture to his daughter. Ringo simply gave a sigh, patting Aki as if she was a kid once more.

"You don't need to suffer all this alone..", he told her weakly. "Had I known that this arrangement will agonize you like this, I wouldn't have agreed. And I apologize, Aki... I was only looking at everything through through the eyes of a business and not as a father when I made that decision.. I just thought Koichi would be someone that was best for you and didn't imagine how you would land yourself in the arms of Kippei because of this." Ringo looked at Aki with guilty eyes. "I am sorry, kiddo... I didn't mean for all this to be placed on your shoulder and I will do anything to protect you and your family. Even if I have to sell my company, I will. You are not alone in this."

"Dad, it's not your fault.. I was the one who decided this for myself and I am willing to take responsibility.. Selling your company will only mean I am guilty beyond reasonable doubt and I can't let Ai Yashida and her husband take what's never theirs and monopolize whatever they have." Aki looked up at her father and said, "Even if Ai Yashida wants me to get rid of the baby, I can't.. I always wanted a family of my own and I am going to give myself that. This child is innocent.. No one will take this away from me."

Ringo nodded sympathetically. "Does Koichi know? Does Kippei know?"

Aki shook her head. "I am willing to tell them. But first I need to go to the doctor to know how far along I am. If Koichi decides to divorce me, then so be it, but this baby isn't dying over my own fault."

Ringo understood Aki pretty well and smiled at his daughter. Aki gave her father an unsure smile.

"Dad... am I going to be fine?", Aki asked.

"You will always know where to find me, kiddo. However," Ringo gave Aki a stern, fatherly look. "Make it right this time and do it not because it just feels right.."

He patted his daughter's stomach and with tears in his eyes, kissed Aki's head.

"Do it because it will make you happy."

"Dad..."

"Whatever the outcome, I will always be here. Besides," Ringo wiped the sentiment from his eyes and told her. "We do need to know what's the gender so I can pressure you with the names I want for my grandchild."

Aki embraced her father tightly and controlled herself from crying once more. Her father embraced her too, patting her head gently and once Aki was at the door, Ringo sighed audibly, making her turn around.

"You were never a disappointment to me, Aki... You've always made me proud and you have always been my pride and joy," he said to her.

Aki simply smiled and nodded.

Even if her father wasn't well with words, she knew that she was forgiven and that all the shame she had was washed away.

Now that her father's done, she needed to tell Koichi next.

* * *

"Aki, can you help me with my tie?"

"What? Okay, hold on a sec,"

Aki wiped her hands on the towel hanging from the fridge's handle and went to Koichi who was struggling with his tie. She gingerly knotted his tie, careful not to make it too tight nor too loose. Aki noticed Koichi was looking at her and met his eyes after tugging at his tie gently. Koichi stared at her a little more and gave her a small smile, making her eyes grow wide in their sockets.

"...uhm..."

"You look really beautiful...", said Koichi. His eyes slightly wavered a little, as if telling himself something. He returned his gaze back to her once more and a sadder smile than before.

There was a warmth in his voice, but Aki couldn't help but see there was a flicker of sadness in his eyes. She found it too overwhelming that she can only turn away and go back to washing the dishes. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest and she knew that Koichi was still there watching her. He was... different; almost like a different person ever since he came home the other night. He caught her washing the dishes and embraced her from behind, making Aki almost drop a plate from the surprise. Aki simply watched Koichi go to his room without a word, but she could still feel the heat from his lips on hers when he kissed her before he let her go. It was almost as if he was another person. Now, Aki could remember how he looked at her a minute ago, the sadness in his eyes gleaming beneath the light and making its way into her heart.

"I'll be home at around lunch," he then said, sitting down at the high stool by the counter.

Aki turned to look at him with a look of mild surprise. "Really? That's good to hear."

Koichi nodded. "I figured instead of doing overtime, I can come home early."

Aki turned off the sink and sighed.

Today was the day she had scheduled for a checkup with her OB-Gyne. Conveniently, it was at 2PM.

Gripping the handle of the sink tightly, she slowly turned to look at Koichi who was now reading the morning paper nonchalantly like he usually does.

"Koichi,"

"Hmm?"

"Would you... would you want to accompany me to the doctor today? I have a schedule at 2PM, but if it's alright if you don't want to."

Koichi looked up from what he was reading. "What's the matter, do you feel okay?", he asked, a little frown on his brow forming.

"I... I'm... Thing is.. I'm.."

Aki held her stomach and looked doubtful, but she was already close to her limits anyway. She might as well say it.

"I'm pregnant," she simply said.

Silence was there to answer her and Aki can only sigh to herself. Different images of what Koichi could do to her flashed in her mind's eye and she can only accept what will come next, however, when she looked at Koichi once more, he was no longer there at his seat, and instantly felt arms around her. Aki was shocked as she felt his head on her shoulder, his arms around her completing everything as time seemed to have stopped for both of them that very instant.

To Aki, Koichi no longer felt stiff and rigid; in fact, he felt very warm to her right now. The usual iciness that was there which usually pained her was replaced by a tenderness she couldn't help but indulge in, yet she felt as if she couldn't. Not just yet.

However...

Was he happy?

Was he sad?

Was he angry?

What?

Aki wasn't expecting the reaction to be so far from what she'd initially thought, but it made her worry a little more since Koichi had been acting pretty strange for the past few days. Even if it overwhelmed her to see him like this, she couldn't help but not accept it. This is what she's been wanting from him all this time. Aki can only stay put in her place and let him hold her the way he wanted.

"Koichi?", she said, placing her own arms around his, stroking them gently. "What's wrong?"

Koichi let out a shaky sigh without bothering to raise his head from the crook of her neck. Instead, he tightened his hold around her.

"Koichi, what's wrong? You're making me worry and it's not good if you hold me tightly like that," she told him, but she was shaken.

Koichi loosened his hold on her, turning her around to face him. Before she can say anything, he sealed her mouth with his own lips and Aki can only give in bit by bit. Closing her eyes, she felt like this is bringing her closer to him now...

...and that on his lips, she tasted something salty the longer he kissed her.

Aki opened her eyes a bit and realized what she tasted on her lips were in fact Koichi's own tears.


	19. Chapter 19

"A baby boy?"

"Yes, Mr. Natsukawa, a baby boy."

Aki put her hand to her mouth and felt her eyes get hot with tears of joy. Her heart was warm with the happy news of her conception. She was in the doctor's office with Koichi, updating the status of the early stages of her pregnancy. After going through the ultrasound room, Aki and the doctor came out carrying a photo of the little boy on his way to the outside world from the ultrasound. Koichi wasn't present at the time since he had to attend to a call but Aki wasn't in her mind to care. She now held the photo of her child in her hands. Even if Koichi wasn't told how far along she was and when she conceived, Aki made the ultrasonographer swear to secrecy. There was no need to explain, but Aki knew she was going to tell Koichi sometime.

The doctor scribbled prescriptions on her pad and handed it over to Koichi. "I heavily advise you to please be attentive to your wife's needs. She's going to go through a very life-changing moment and you will too, Mr. Natsukawa. Pregnancies are both a heart-warming and difficult thing, but I would gladly tell you both that this will actually bring you two closer together," said the doctor.

Koichi's face was unreadable. He was just stoic and poker-faced about it, yet he listened eagerly, nodding at what the doctor said.

Aki watched Koichi all throughout. She wondered what was in his mind and what could he be feeling. It was luck that they had a baby boy. Not that it mattered what gender it is.

"And that's it for me. I'll gladly schedule you for next week so please wait on your phone for my text, okay?"

Aki and Koichi bade a good day to the doctor. Once they were out of the hospital, Koichi and Aki made their way to the parking lot without saying a word. Aki felt uncomfortable, suspicious now of what Koichi was thinking. He hasn't said a word and hasn't made eye contact with her. Once the two of them were now inside the car, Koichi quickly reached over and kissed her, his hand landing on her belly. It took Aki by surprise, but her body relaxed as Koichi deepened the kiss, their lips searching for each other even more. Koichi gently broke it off, looking at Aki with his dark eyes and peering into her soul.

_What the... for a moment there... Koichi looked at me the way Kippei looked at me..._

"I don't know what to say... I have no words.. but... I am happy," Koichi gently said to her.

Aki smiled slightly wryly, placing a hand on his cheek. "I'm glad.."

Both of them stared at each other a little longer and as the emotions calmed, both of them pulled out of the hospital and went their way home. Aki stared out of the window, taking in the sights of the city and looked at them with a new perspective. The sun shone and everything seemed to fall into place. Koichi was a little more open to her, his coldness no longer there and he seemed to be more a husband with each passing day. He'd come home and eat dinner, help out with the chores and spend time with her. They even shared the same bed now, converting Koichi's room into his office instead. Aki was happy with the change, however, it was strange that she didn't feel fulfilled with everything. The embrace and kisses that they exchanged and shared were warmth and thoughtful, but Aki couldn't find herself feeling as if she could settle.

Was it brought upon by her pregnancy or was it because of something else?

She shook her head and tightened her hold on Koichi's hand, making him look at her while he drove. She simply gave him a smile, with him actually returning it with a kiss after pulling over on the side of the road. As they continued, Aki willed herself that it was the right thing to do to be with him. He was her husband and she was his wife. They're finally establishing their relationship like most newlyweds are.

_That's right... this was the best choice... I am glad I chose this._

Something in her stomach gave a numbing churn.

It didn't seem to agree with her too well.

* * *

"Tonight's the big night, guys."

Choi dropped over Aki and Yahiko's table wearing a subtle smile on his face. Yahiko leaned back on his chair, watching Choi with a suspicious gaze.

"What's got you all smiling and happy? You're not supposed to be smiling and happy, Choi," he said, frowning. "It's giving me the creeps seeing you like that. It's like you killed someone or something."

"Shut up. Don't destroy my mood." Choi turned to Aki and sat on the edge of her desk. "So... will you really come tonight?", he asked. There was a tone in his voice that also asked, "Is Koichi coming with you?"

Aki nodded. She was in a pretty good mood. "Yes. I am actually excited to see your dad's place."

Choi grinned satisfactorily. "Good! I'll make sure you get to taste what the Watanabe Breweries are capable of serving," he proudly declared.

Yahiko simply grumbled, looking away sullenly.

"What's wrong? You don't seem pretty happy," asked Aki.

"I can't go tonight. My girlfriend wants to stay in and watch reruns of her favorite series. I don't even like that show because it's all about romance, pretty boys and walks on the beach..." he complained. "I told her we can get free booze and all if we go."

"So, what's she pinned on you that made you stay?" Choi scoffed lightly and added, "Do you get a free pass to every position you can think of?"

Yahiko nodded shamelessly. "But the BOOZE, man. Can you deliver that at my place?"

"No."

Aki quietly stifled a laugh and said, "Well, I am there for the food, the Watanabes and the whole place."

Yahiko squinted at Aki. "Not for the booze? It's a fucking mini-brewery, Aki. I know how you like your alcohol. You're a heavy drinker compared to me."

Aki shook her head with a pointed smile on her face. "I am not drinking."

Both Choi and Yahiko's eyes slowly looked dubious. Aki simply pointed to her belly.

"OH- MY- GOD!", exclaimed Yahiko, his mouth hanging open.

Choi immediately understood and then asked rather awkwardly, "And... I know this may come off as rude but..."

Aki shrugged her shoulders. That was all the answer she can give. She met Choi's bewildered stare and Yahiko's gaping mouth. With a sigh, she looked down at her desk and searched for Kippei's number on her phone. She wondered if it was still his number. She finally decided to tell him everything before moving on and away from him. It was the best thing she can do. Her life with Koichi now was what's important, however, something inside her wasn't ready to let go.

"Aki... _he's _going to be _attending_. What do you plan on doing about it?" Choi looked worried now, hopping off her desk as he ran a hand through his hair. "You can't just simply pull this off without your father-"

"Dad already knows... Koichi knows I am pregnant too."

"Did he ask how or who?" asked Yahiko, making sure no one else heard them by looking around.

"No... he actually seems pretty... happy?"

"_Happy?_" said Choi and Yahiko at the same time, shock all over their faces.

Aki nodded innocently. "That's all I want and-"

"Don't bring him." Choi's shock now turned into seriousness. "Ai Yashida is going to be there and it won't look good. I saw her recently and she's been drinking heavily and I heard she's making round hospital for prescriptions for anti-depressants. Bringing him there could be a catalyst for disaster. Kippei's there too and it'll be an apisode of UFC before we can all toast to the restaurant's longevity."

Aki's eyes grew wide. How could she have forgotten about her?

Worry now took over her as she felt her hands turn clammy. Scenes of what could happen crossed her mind and immediately, she bit her lip thinking of what to do. How irresponsible of her to forget that Ai Yashida was going to be there. Of course she will be there, the Watanabes have a partnership with the Yashidas. Bringing Koichi there will ignite everything. Add Kippei to the mix and it will be hell. Aki sighed heavily, clearly angry at herself for forgetting such an important thing. Having the baby seemed to have rid her of common sense that she now was close to endangering her own self, Koichi and Kippei.

_Lose the baby or I will get rid of it myself._

Those words latched on to Aki like a leech and she can only close her eyes as she felt her belly get a cramp.

Choi and Yahiko both rushed to her, asking her if she was okay. After telling them she was, Yahiko went to get her water, leaving her and Choi alone. Aki made use of Yahiko's chore to tell Choi what had happened during her confrontation with Ai at the hotel. Choi looked grayer with each passing minute.

"Aki, don't go," he told her. "You can't just simply head on over and party knowing someone has a threat against you. Why don't you file a restraining order? Have Koichi do it since it seems he's repenting for what he's done anyway."

Aki did feel a little anxious, but she couldn't let it show. "I know, but I don't think she's that crazy enough to do something in such a public place."

"Aki, the fact she still blames you after everything when in fact Koichi was the one at fault proves her to be cuckoo and loose in the head. She doesn't have a conscience to tell her what she's doing is wrong. You may never know. I don't want to endanger you, Aki. You're my friend and I wouldn't know what to say to Kippei if something happened to you," Choi explained. "I feel more indebted to him more than your husband."

Kippei...

Aki looked away and images of Kippei's face wandered into her mind. Her heart felt the warmth he brought that even just the memories they had was enough to pacify her. She couldn't understand why, but her cramp was soon gone.

"You really like Kippei that much for me, huh?" she asked Choi bluntly.

Choi didn't answer her, but the look in his eyes said it all.

Aki smiled at Choi and said, "I appreciate you looking out for me, but if it makes you feel better, I won't bring Koichi and will leave when the Yashidas arrive. Just promise me a back door."

"You got it. But... well, alright, Koichi can come, but leave when the Yashidas arrive, okay? Aside from the fact that I wouldn't want my dad's night ruined, you're better off with no stress considering you're pretty fragile right now," Choi told her. He sighed heavily and patted Aki's head kindly, shaking his head from side to side as a look of disbelief found its' way on his face once more. "You're really something, you know that? Going through hell and back... now you're planning to go back again?"

Aki gave him an apologetic smile. She was about to say something when Yahiko came back with no water, but he did look pretty pale. "Hiko... what's wrong? You look like you saw-"

"Kippei- he's- he's there. He wants to see you," said Yahiko weakly, pointing to the lobby.

Time froze.

Aki and Choi looked at each other. She slowly felt her body get weaker and stronger at the same time. She stood up and wondered where they could talk, but Choi already had that covered.

"I'll get my office ready. Don't worry, I got your back on this one." He turned to Yahiko and said, "Tell Kippei he can come in my office."

Yahiko sprinted away and disappeared. Choi looked at Aki as if to ask her if she's alright with it. Aki simply gave a nod.

There was no reason to run away from Kippei. Running will only mean she's still...

...still what?

Aki stopped herself. She followed Choi into the hallway of his office and felt cold. She was nervous of seeing him again. Their exchange in Nagoya wasn't exactly the form of closer that both of them seemed to be alright with. Aki willed herself to forget emotion and feeling. She needed to focus on logic, what's right and her marriage.

Choi stopped before her, moving out of her way as he gestured for her to go on ahead. "This is as far as I can take you," he said.

Yahiko came out and smiled at Aki with concern. "We'll always have your back, Aki. You can count on us. I'll bully Choi into winning all the characters from Dumb Ways To Die so that I can focus more on my work."

Aki gave them both a small smile and went ahead. She stood before Choi's office and with a trembling hand, opened the door.

Kippei was staring pensively outside the window,seemingly lost in thought.

"Kippei...?"

"I'm sorry for coming here, but I came here because I want to see you even if it's like this."

Kippei faced her now, the sun shining kindly on his profile. Aki couldn't believe he was there. There was a part of her that wanted to run to him and into his arms, but with the ball of her fist, she controlled whatever it was and cast out the feelings that screamed within. He approached her, each step making Aki's heart throb harder in her chest. By the time he was already arm's length from her, Aki stayed in her place and simply locked her eyes on him.

His face didn't seem to bear the usual stoic expression he had that was laced with bitterness. In fact, even if he looked serious, his features were softer and lacked the stiffness they used to possess.

"Aki... I know you won't allow me to hold you nor embrace you, let alone kiss you. I'm not going to do those things," he said.

_Why not?_ her innards screamed. There was something in her that made her feel sick after listening to what he's said. She just kept her gaze at him, trying hard to control herself.

"And I have to admit... it fucking hurts." Kippei gave a sarcastic laugh. "You chose your husband over me because you thought it was the right thing to do, but I am damn sure you're not happy. You can tell me I'm wrong or I have no idea what I am talking about, but I am sure. I am not here to ridicule you nor insult you for the choices you made and what you are now... I'm just here because I want to know the truth."

Aki was shaking inside. She could feel torrents of tears rising up within her. She swallowed them all down to her core and into her heart, doing her best to not give in. "What do you want to know?"

Kippei's gaze intensified now. The mistiness in his eyes did so too. "Honestly... tell me... did you love me?"

* * *

Ex-lovers in their usual hotel room, both naked; the man finally gets up, looking completely remorseful. He puts on his clothes one by one, seemingly decided on what he was going to do. The woman he used to love gets up and embraces him from behind, aware of what he was going to do.

"No, we have to stop this.. I can't do this anymore and hurt her. She's been through too much," he tells her.

The woman holds on tighter, burying her face in his warmth, but it was no longer as warm as it used to be. "But you want it like this... You've always wanted this with me alone.."

He took a while to answer. "No, not anymore. I have... I have her... We're going to be a family soon and I-"

Tears exploded from her eyes. "Then why the hell did you even come here and bed me?! If you want a family, I can give it to you!"

"That's not what I want.. I don't want one with you anymore and I need to be there for her, most especially now. This is the last time we'll see each other," he told her resolutely as he pocketed his neck tie. His wife was the only one who could tie it nicely for him. He didn't want to learn how to tie it. He'll always want his wife to tie it for him from here on.

The hotel room proved to be so little to contain the other woman's anger and desperation. She turned him around to face her, but all she saw on his face was a decided expression that she was sure didn't involve her.

"NO! DON'T! Don't you understand that I love you?! I still do and I want us to be together even if it's only like this!"

"...I'm sorry... but it seems I am the only one who moved on. I can't hurt her. I don't want to lose her for something so futile anymore. This isn't about work anymore nor employee benefits. I can't lose her to something so fleeting."

"...if you leave me... I'll- I'll kill myself!"

She threatened to rummage in her bag, but the man she loves stopped her by pinning her down on the bed, sending her things on the floor. Seeing him look so sure of himself made her tears uncontrollable.

"W-Why not me? Is it because she's got a better leverage against me? Is it because she blackmailed you about us? But she's not the only one... She's not as pure as you thought!", she told him through sobs. "The child she's carrying isn't even yours so how could you stomach that fact and still be with someone as disgusting as her?!"

The man's eyes misted a little, but his hold on the woman's wrists tightened.

"I don't care," he told her.

The woman's eyes widened. "W-What?"

"I don't care if there's another man. I don't care if she has someone else. That's my own fault to deal with, not yours."

He let the woman go and walked towards the door. The woman sat up and sobbed.

"B- But... you're not the father of the baby she's carrying... Don't you feel hurt about it?"

He stopped by the door and without looking back at her said, "I am sorry... but my life doesn't concern you anymore." He turned back to give her a steely gaze. "If you try to attempt something, I won't forgive you. If you get near her and hurt her... I'll kill you myself."

He left her in the hotel room, her sobs absorbed by the paddings on the wall. Her hands caught the tears she cried, but it wasn't enough. Through the sad sunshine and her fingers, she saw something glint by her feet.

Something sharp enough to end her life.

* * *

"Honestly... tell me... did you love me?"

Aki was lost for words, yet the tears in her eyes seemed to have answered in her behalf as they trickled down her cheeks. Kippei's own face contorted to near tears and it was all too quick...

Kippei no longer held back. He took a step and embraced her with his own mix of paradox.

The gentle, yet firm hold on her...

His strength towards his own decisions and his weakness when it came to her...

The coldness of his reality came along with a warmth that only she understood...

The warmth was so comforting, it secured her that her own problems and worries ebbed away once she felt his arms around her. She forgot where they were and what they were now. There was no time and no circumstance to understand. All she knew that precise moment was him, yet her wedding ring seemed to emanate a warmth that brought her back to the present.

Aki closed her eyes, trying hard to resist embracing him back. She buried her face into his chest, a sob escaping her as he clung onto her tightly like a lifeline.

"You're so close... but so far away from me...", Kippei whispered to her hair. "Embracing you like this... I still feel like there's a wall between us. I'm so sorry Aki... I can't help myself. I just can't..."

She covered her face with her hands and tried her best to control her sobs. It hurt so much to have him there, but somewhere inside her felt so at ease with his presence. Staying in his arms felt so right and seemed to be the only place for her to be in that moment.

However...

"Kippei... I can't... We can't..", she managed to say. "We have to stop this now... we can't just go on like this when you and I are in different places in our lives now."

"I know... but I can't stop myself from indulging even if it's just like this. I don't know why I can't stay away from you even if our lives are no longer supposed to clash into each other. I know you've made a decision... but I don't know why I am still hoping that one day you'll choose me instead of him... I still wake up with that dream in my heart and I can't seem to let go of it."

Kippei tilted her face to his.

"It's the only thing that keeps me alive... It's you that makes me happy.. It's that dream that keeps me bound to you and I have no plans of giving up."

Aki felt guilt and remorse take over her. She shook her head and saw Kippei's face fall in sorrow.

"Please... Don't torture yourself anymore, Kippei. Don't do what you did in your brother's memory. I will not be able to live with myself if you suffer because you can't let go of what used to be us." She wavered her eyes, tears still falling down her cheeks. "I... I can't just go back and make your dream come true. I can't do that for you anymore, Kippei.. I'm sorry..."

He shook his head and tried to smile through the pain. "Don't be... I'm not the least bit mad if you can't love me the way I do.. I understand perfectly... but still... I will continue to hope, Aki. There's no place in this world that matters to me but to be by your side.. Even if I am not the choice, even if you're not carrying my name... You'll always be the one I will hold on to. I love you too much to keep myself away from you.. Even if it's just a glimpse of you... I am not mad.. I'm not angry.. I can't be since I have no right... but even if it hurts, do know I never once held a grudge against you..", he choked. "In fact I actually loved you more... and I... I just really love you... I just love you... I don't need any other reason... I love you."

Aki didn't know how or why, but she gently grabbed his face and kissed him.

She could taste his tears...

The lonely, languishing tears that she knew he only cried for her...

Her mind pictured him going about his day as normal as he could but she could feel the pain of having her separated from him. She could see him looking spaced out in his office or could hear his sighs as he did his job. The nights would prove to be torturous. She could see him breaking down and fighting every urge to call her or text her.

And he fought it so well, but even if he had won that battle, his being at her office proved to be quite a loss in the war.

"So, please... tell me... did you even love me..?", he painfully asked in between kisses.

Aki broke away a little and felt Kippei's lips on her forehead, his arms snaking around her once more.

Did she?

Did she love him?

_I can't... I can't... If I do say it... I might not be able to stop myself... _

Gritting her teeth, her hands grasped his lapel a little bit. She fought back the words that came up to her throat. She knew that something inside her was willing her to say it and she almost did, but she stopped herself once Koichi's face came into her mind. There was guilt, pain, despair and confusion in her part. Everything seemed to boil down to her that very instant and her answer to Kippei will either make or break her well-deserved peace.

But was it really peace?

There was still something inside her that was still holding onto Kippei too and it didn't want to let go.

Aki was torn right in the middle and the only way to escape her situation was to choose what was right...

Happiness doesn't always pertain to what's right, right?

But even so, doing the right thing CAN make you happy, right?

"I remember you telling me it's alright if I don't say it back...", she managed to say.

Kippei kissed her once more. "Yes I do... and you don't need to say it... I know.." He tilted her face up to meet his once more. "I love you too..."

Aki's eyes widened to see Kippei trying his best to smile at her. To smile for her.

"Why... Kippei... why are you smiling for me? Why do you smile like that for me?"

"So you understand that I carry no ill feelings in all this... and that I know you somehow feel what I feel as well.."

"Kippei... I'm sorry... I just can't and we-"

"Shh... I told you I understand, didn't I? Don't worry.. I won't do anything, okay? I love you... Please... Trust in me.."

Aki no longer held back and sobbed.

Yes, in fact she trusted him. She trusted Kippei wholeheartedly that it ailed her to have him slip away from her grasp once more. She knew this was another goodbye. She knew that maybe after this, she might never see him again. She held onto his jacket tightly, standing stiff as a board to contain the tears that threatened to pour once more. Aki knew that maybe this time was really it, that this was the closure she had been hoping but never imagined would come where in she was once again finding her way out of her heart's labyrinth of choices. She was lost once more, but she could see the way out, yet she was willing to choose to prolong her stay with Kippei that very moment.

But that proved to be a failure.

She and Koichi were getting along well. They were like a real husband and wife now. There was no point in holding on to Kippei since she was already at a place in her life where in everything seemed to work in her favor.

...did it really work in her favor then?

Something inside her ached, that she placed a hand on her belly without Kippei noticing. It seemed to be longing for him, reaching out to him, but Aki knew this was the last she was going to see of him. There was something in his voice that hinted something like that...

...and Aki's other half didn't want to accept it.

However, she had to.

Happiness may not always mean choosing what's right, but in the end, what's right will prove to be a bigger form of happiness, right?

With one last kiss, Kippei tenderly wiped her tears away and held her tight for one last time before making his way to the door. He looked back at her and smiled once more.

"He's very lucky to have you come back to him... I just wish he makes you happy.." he told her.

Aki stared at Kippei and her hand clutched her belly. She needed to tell him... She needed him to know...

_And then what...? What do you hope to happen afterwards? If you tell him, he'll only impose himself on the situation and everything you worked hard to protect and accept will be useless. What about Koichi? What do you think will happen if he found out? _

She was willing to face whatever hell it brings once more. She was willing to bargain and negotiate. Kippei had the right to know.

"Kippei... wait... there's something I need to tell you.."

"What is it?"

Aki struggled with the words, however, all she could do was look down at her hand on her belly and then back to him with an insinuating stare.

Kippei's eyes slowly grew wide and a gasp escaped him. He seemed to be lost for words as well. He was already holding the doorknob, but retracted his hand once he realized what Aki meant. "You... you... you mean-"

Aki nodded slowly and weakly said, "Yes... a boy.. A baby boy."

Kippei looked so overwhelmed that he was close to tears. "A... A boy..?", he repeated.

The look on his face was priceless. It was a look that said that his dreams have come true once again.

None of them moved. The news somehow incapacitated both of them that only their eyes did the talking for each other. Before anyone could break the contact, there was a knock. It went on several times but no one answered it.

The door to Choi's office opened he came in looking grave. Aki and Kippei were still looking at each other and didn't even bother acknowledge Choi's existence.

"Guys, I hate to break this Hallmark moment, but thing is we have trouble in front of the building," he said hurriedly.

"What? What's happening?" asked Kippei, his eyes not leaving Aki's.

Choi looked troubled and tried to find the words to say. Aki broke her gaze with Kippei and understood that it must be an emergency since Choi wasn't one to look so haggard. He was always composed. Aki knew that Choi meant that whatever it was, it involved her. Kippei sensed it too.

"We have an issue with a crazed Ai Yashida asking for Aki. The guards are trying to control the situation, but she won't leave saying that she needed to talk to you. She's not really making a scene, but she's forcing herself to enter the building."

Aki then asked, "Uh... okay.. So, how was Kippei able to come in here?"

"I called Choi up and asked him to let me in."

Choi gave a quick grin and then said, "Aki, like I said, don't go."

The air in the office filled with tension.

Aki sighed heavily and was about to leave the office to confront Ai Yashida, but Kippei stopped her.

"Don't go. she might do something to you," he told her.

"I am well aware of that, but I can't just wait for her leave. It'll be worse if I don't go," she answered him. "She might end up causing a scandal."

"Tss... As if she hasn't caused enough," mumbled Choi.

Kippei shook his head. He took her hand and held it tightly. "No, you're not going. I don't want that woman doing anything to you... or to our son."

Listening to Kippei say such a thing made her heart leap for joy, but she quickly ignored this. This wasn't the time to be happy about it. Now that the truth finally reached Kippei, there was another truth to be confronted and it was waiting for her outside their building. Whatever purpose she had for being there, Aki knew it concerned Koichi. She knew it wasn't going to look very pretty, but she had to make it right. Her reunion with Kippei was a bittersweet one and it proved to be something she will cherish even if she knew she might never see him again.

It was for the best.

Aki let go of his hand and looked straight at Kippei.

"Kippei... I know you're worried... but this is my own battle and my life. You can't just barge in and try to make a scene in order to make things fall into place. I'm sorry, but you can't be here while she's here and if anyone saw you, we'll both be in trouble," she told him. "I promise, nothing will happen. I'll just send her away."

Kippei looked resolute enough to argue, but Choi agreed with Aki.

"She's right, man. If Ai Yashida knew you're the 'other man', she'll really be crazed with that advantage. I suggest you lay low and let things be. Emotions cannot always win over in desperate times like these," said Choi. "This isn't something you are to deal with since you two don't know each other personally. If you let slip that you're Aki's... well... you'll get her in a much tighter situation and it won't help considering she's pregnant."

Kippei sighed. Though it was obvious he didn't want to leave her side, he had no choice but to listen to logic. "Fine. I'll leave. If something happens to Aki or my son, there'll be hell to pay. If that woman does anything or she attempts anything at all like reach over and grab at your hair, I won't back down from protecting you myself." He turned to Aki and said in a firm voice, "Understood? Tell your husband that."

He turned his heel and left with Choi, hearing the latter say that there was a backdoor which led to the alley where the carpark was.

Aki was left alone now and as she balled her fist, she went out of Choi's office and headed to the front door. Her nerves took over as she neared the entrance and saw Yahiko outside in a heated exchange with Ai.

"Are you him? Are you her other man?", she asked Yahiko.

Aki saw that Ai looked like shit. She had this manic glint in her eye and felt herself go into high alert.

Yahiko was holding Ai by her wrists and held her in place to keep her from advancing into the building. "Shut up, you're not really helping yourself if you keep on doing this and accusing people of what you're not sure of. And why are you so sticky and what's that white thing on your clothes? Eew!"

"ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME?!" Ai looked angrier now. "You have no idea what that woman did to me! She took away from me my life and the man that I loved! How dare you stand up for her? You're just doing this to cover up your affair, aren't you?! You're guilty as well!"

"Aki's my friend and I won't do that to her! I have a girlfriend and Aki's married! No way I'll do that!"

"It's Choi, isn't it?! Where is he?! I'll tell the world that he's Aki's other man! He's gotten back on track from my husband's money after all! He's indebted to us!", Ai shrieked. "How dare he do this to me?!"

Other people were looking at them, curious of what was happening. The guards of the building were shooing people away and covering the scene with their huge bodies. Aki could see people getting wind of what Ai was saying and looking back at her with judgmental eyes as she made her way to where Yahiko was. Once she was finally there, she met Ai's glare.

"You really are still pushing this, aren't you?", Aki asked. "Hiko, let her go. If she has a shred of class left, she won't really do anything more to damage her reputation."

Yahiko didn't want to at first, but seeing Aki's glare, he let Ai go and Aki took his place before her.

Ai gave a sarcastic laugh. "You... you've got some nerve to even be talking to me in such a tone when you should be begging for me not to say anything to everyone." She turned to the crowd that was gathering and said, "That's right, you heard me. This woman is married and had an affair. The child she's carrying isn't her husband's and she's still acting as if she's done nothing wrong!"

Aki felt everyone's eyes on her now.

"Isn't that Ringo Gojo's daughter?"

"That's the boss's daughter, right?"

"How could do such a thing when she's married to one of the most promising businessmen in Tokyo?"

"A child outside of her marriage? What a whore!"

"But isn't that Ai Yashida? What's she doing here?"

"How does she know?"

"What's gotten her that knowledge and why is she angry?"

Aki heard what the people were saying and the hisses of whispers scattered around like wildfire. She felt her face burn, but knew it better than to pay attention to the other people that weren't involved.

"Aren't you cheating on your husband as well? You ruined families and broke apart business partnerships because you were just too selfish to let go of what couldn't be you yours. How thick of you to accuse me when in fact you're the one who almost destroyed my marriage," Aki said. "It doesn't matter who my other man was when in fact your other men actually consists more of your husband's own business partners. I know it, Choi knows it, everyone knows it. What else have you got to hide? Your husband is just forcing himself to make himself blind and deaf to the things you're doing. After all, you just married him for money, right? You think marrying him would get you want you want? Don't you remember you said it yourself, Koichi is actually being more of a husband to me now and has chosen me instead."

There was no longer room to care for what people said. If the truth had to come out, then so be it. if it had to be now, then so be it. Aki no longer wanted to back down. Ai Yashida brought this upon herself and Aki was ready to serve it back but with much more force. if shame is the game, Aki can and will play at her level. There was no one who was going to hurt her child so even if she had to embarrass herself, she will just to protect her son. Reputation didn't matter anymore. Looking at how disheveled, thin and obviously deranged Ai was, Aki realized she was dangerous to society and most of all, to herself. It was better to subdue her blow by blow rather than wait for Ai to lash back.

Ai turned red. Obviously she hasn't thought of Aki's own aces.

Aki pushed on it now. "You are so quick to blackmail me by stealing hospital records. I vividly remember the doctor who checked up on me when I fainted happened to be a man. What did you do? Did you sleep with him too just to get my file and exploit me for it?"

"So what if I did? Koichi doesn't deserve trash like you anyway. Put up this good girl act more and you will regret messing with me. My husband believes me and once I tell him of your philandering, your father's name will be in shambles and you will gladly jump off a cliff just so you can escape the shame of what you did!"

"And you? Are you going back to my husband? Are you even sure he will accept you?"

Ai's tear-stained face contorted into fury and she let out a shrill shriek and grabbed at Aki. She grabbed at her hair and managed to drag her to the ground, both of them in a very aggressive scuffle. Aki pulled at Ai, even managed to draw blood by scratching her skin and hit her at the jaw with a very strong punch.

"YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! KOICHI WAS SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE ME! NOT YOU! YOU'RE NOTHING TO HIM! YOU'RE JUST A PIECE OF SHIT!", screamed Ai, hitting Aki blindly with her fist and managed to push away the people who were trying to break the fight.

"Get away from her!", hollered Yahiko, pulling Ai away from Aki, but she had a tight hold on Aki's hair.

"YOU GO AWAY! I NEED TO PUNISH HER!", she retorted, managing hit Yahiko on the arm.

Yahiko found himself pushed away and saw Choi and Kippei watching from the alley. Yahiko disappeared into the office and seemed to have a plan. Choi knew what Yahiko was thinking and was holding onto Kippei's arm, stopping him from intervening since it was obvious that Yahiko called Koichi up. Even though the fight was happening, he held on, but Kippei escaped Choi's grasp and ran to where Aki and Ai were.

"Kippei, don't!", he yelled.

Kippei pushed people aside, followed by Choi who were being helped by the guards of the building in order for them to make way to separate the two women who were brawling it out on the front entrance of the building. They drew nearer and heard their screams and cries, and to Kippei's horror saw Aki beneath Ai who now was hitting her stomach.

Aki could feel her stomach getting hit again and again and with each blow, her strength dwindled as cramps took over. She already suffered blows to the face, even managed to scrape her head on the pavement. Ai wasn't any better off. She had scratches on her face and arms, had a bruise on her jaw and her clothes were torn. Still, the two women kept at it until Aki finally sent a very strong knee to Ai's back, knocking the wind out of her. Kippei and Choi finally got to where they were and started to pull on each woman, but Ai grabbed on and now had her hands around Aki's neck. Aki could no longer keep up as her cramp was already too much to bear. She turned cold and held onto Ai's wrists tightly, wrenching them open with all her strength.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!"

Aki looked away from Ai and saw Kippei in the crowd pulling Ai away, but heard another voice.

Koichi hauled Aki up and away from Ai Yashida. Kippei quickly was pulled away from the mess by Yahiko who came back from the crowd to keep him from being seen. Choi held onto a still reaching Ai and held her down while the guards helped subdue her with handcuffs. The police came and controlled the situation, shielding the involved from the media that seemed to have gotten wind of the ordeal. Luckily, they were spared from the bigger shame the media brought when they were threatened with force. The spectators dispersed and the employees were kept from seeing more by officials who Choi ordered to dismantle the crowd.

No one needed to see more.

"Didn't I tell you if you hurt my wife I will deal with you myself?!", Koichi hollered at Ai, holding onto Aki tightly as he helped her up.

Ai was sobbing, trying to struggle from Choi and the guards who held on. "She doesn't deserve you, Koichi... Please... Come back to me... She's not who you think she is... Come back to me, please... If you don't, my husband will hear of this! I'll make sure he does! She doesn't deserve you!"

Koichi glared at Ai and gritted his teeth as he looked down at Aki who was now breaking out in a cold sweat while she tried to straighten up.

"K-Koichi...", she managed to say, grasping onto his arm. She wondered how Koichi was able to come at this very convenient moment. "How did you.. what are you doing here?"

Something was wrong. Something hot and wet escaped from her womanhood and she knew it wasn't normal. The cramp intensified and found herself clinging onto him. Her eyes were watery once more and she stayed still to figure out what was going on. It felt completely different and not in a good way.

Koichi didn't know what to do and looked completely lost as he held her.

"Aki... I'm so sorry... I came here as fast as I can when your officemate called me. I happened to be in the area for a meeting and-"

Aki was shivering in his arms, looking at her thighs and legs. It didn't look good, and certainly didn't feel better now that she was on her feet.

Ai Yashida gave a ragged laugh and said, "It seems I still won, bitch," before she was taken into the police car.

"K-Koichi...! Aki- she's bleeding!", said Choi, going white as a sheet.

Deep red blood trickled down her legs and Aki let out a wail as she realized what was happening.

Kippei, from where he stood, saw and heard everything and saw the blood down her legs. He grew pale, but he wasn't allowed to leave his place since Yahiko held both his arms. He struggled, but it was futile. Even if the tears burst from his eyes and down his face, Yahiko held firmly as if to remind him of what deeper trouble he will get Aki in if ever he rushes over to her side. Yahiko understood Kippei and even if he held him back, he can only look away to keep himself from tearing up. The mess was settled and everyone was back to normal. Choi had to issue a statement to the police and Yahiko accompanied Kippei to the other street to get him a cab back to his own office. All the other employees were talking about the fight animatedly and everyone knew this was going to be a huge scandal that they couldn't wait to feast on. The sun still shone brightly in the sky, however, it wasn't as cheery as it used to be.

Aki and Koichi bost lost color, with Aki trembling in his arms. Koichi carried her and was helped into a police car by a cop who saw what was happening. In the car, she was wavering between blacking out and consciousness, with Koichi embracing her as he kissed her again and again, apologizing for what he's done. Aki couldn't hear him, but only felt his embrace and heart his frantic heartbeat as she tried her best to stay awake. Her mind drifted back to earlier when she saw Kippei in the crowd. Her heart sank knowing she wasn't able to keep her promise.

A tear escaped her eye and before she blacked out, she managed to say in her mind. "Kippei... I'm sorry..."

The blood that came from her was unnaturally warm, however it brought about a freezing reality that Aki tried to grasp.

The reality that she might lose the baby.


	20. Chapter 20

The smell of alcohol and sterile sheets made Aki crinkle her nose. The smell was uncomfortable and suffocating, making her slowly open her eyes.

The whiteness of the room she was in only resulted in her realizing she was in a hospital room. Slowly, she sat up, her head still throbbing from the sedatives that coursed within her veins. She wasn't aware of what time it was or which hospital she was in, however, she only thought of one thing : her baby.

There was no one else in the room with her, but she can make out flowers on her bedside table and a basket of fruit on the table that was placed near the makeshift kitchen. The room looked like it was used as she could see the couch's sheets were rumpled and there was a steaming mug on the table where the fruits were. There was an overnight bag and another pair of slippers by the room's wardrobe cabinet. Aki's eyes wandered to the chair by her bed. There was a suit jacket hanging on its' backrest.

Who was there watching there?

Aki felt oddly light-headed, her whole body seemed to be still feeling drowsy as she tried to steady herself. Bleary-eyed and still groggy, she managed to get out of bed to go to the bathroom.

Her reflection showed her a pallid version of herself, her skin pasty white as she stared at herself in the mirror. There were bags under her eyes and she seemed to have lost some weight. The hospital gown hung onto her frail body as she washed her face; the cold water from the tap making her feel more uncomfortable the longer she stared at herself. She didn't feel beautiful nor well. What stared back from the mirror was a corpse.

"Aki? Are you in the bathroom?"

Koichi voice called out to her softly, the door closing behind him and she felt relieved for the company. She slowly walked out from the bathroom, smiling at Koichi as best she can when their eyes met. She saw he had bought toiletries with some food. He even bought a newspaper.

"Hey... What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?", she croaked.

Koichi settled down what he'd bought on the table. "It's already eleven in the evening, Aki... I don't need to be anywhere." He went over to her, pecking her cheek as he took her in his arms. "How do you feel? Are you alright?", he asked. "What time did you wake up?"

"Just a little over ten minutes ago... Koichi, why am I here?"

Aki noticed Koichi look away quickly. There was a shadow of guilt on his face that was obvious beneath the light above their heads. Slowly, the memories crept in her head, her whole body suddenly aching once again like it did when...

_That's right... I got into a fight with her... _

Aki could feel phantom fists hitting her, jolts of numbing pain churning in her core. The events, the words, the pain... it all replayed into her mind and she could feel everything from the first grab at her hair to how she was strangled. What's worse was her stomach getting hit again and again. Her eyes suddenly grew wide, alarm taking over as she escaped Koichi's arms and felt her body all over. She remembered how it felt to bleed, her whole body failing at enduring her stress brought upon her encounter at work. It was mortifying to see the blood down her legs, the blood staining her dress as she feared that the baby might be lost. She could remember that woman's triumphant smile, Choi's fright and Koichi's tight hold on her as he carried her into a car.

Most of all, through the blur of everyone, she happened to see a tearful Kippei being held back by Yahiko in the alley. She could remember vividly how he strained, how his eyes couldn't be distracted from her...

Kippei...

Aki broke her promise of not having anything happen to her. She was paralyzed with fear as she felt herself all over for anything wrong, but she didn't know how or where to start. Her face showed the emergency and worry, her eyes getting glassy as she shivered from the thoughts that raged in her head.

"The baby? Is the baby okay?", she asked urgently. "Did I lose him? Is he still with me? What did the doctor say?"

"Aki, the baby is- Calm down, please. You just woke up. Listen to me," said Koichi, trying his best to pacify her.

"So, tell me what happened to the baby!", she demanded weakly.

Aki looked back at Koichi, her eyes wide with worry. Frozen in her place, she looked at him with a fearful expression and seeing Koichi give her a reassuring smile, she placed a hand on her stomach. Tears welled in her eyes as she felt relieved. It could have passed as a ten-second heart attack. Koichi kissed her temple as he placed a hand on hers.

"The baby is fine.. He did get a little shaken, but there's no need to worry. The bleeding was brought upon by the trauma and you did lose blood, but your OB said the baby is safe. You're not really supposed to be moving much since you need to recover in order to progress with the pregnancy with no trouble. Other than that, he's okay," he told her. "Please calm down? It worries me to have you like this."

Aki sighed heavily, nodding to his words and apologized for raising her voice. Koichi replied with an embrace to tell her he wasn't mad, and then, kissing her tenderly. It still came as an odd spectacle to see Koichi this affectionate, yet it was her closest form of comfort as of the moment. Aki slowly relaxed into him, his own hands finding their way on his chest. They exchanged kisses a little more, with Aki expressing her relief through her lips. They broke off their kiss as Koichi told her to get back into bed before the doctor sees her moving around. She listened to him as he helped her back under the blankets, tucking her in as he transferred his mug from the dining table to her bedside. He brought along his newspaper and sat down beside her bed. Aki watched him do it all in silence, wondering what he was thinking.

"Is there something wrong?", he asked her, leaning closer as he held her hand.

Aki shook her head. "No... I just..."

Koichi's expression changed. From the candid show of concern, he now gazed at her with eyes that showed he actually cared. He stroked her hair, gazed into her eyes as if waiting for her to continue what she was going to say.

_I just want to ask if you already know that the baby isn't yours._

_I just want to ask you if there's something on your mind that you needed to tell me._

_I just want to know what's in your mind because it's a mystery to me when you don't tell me anything at all._

_I just want to ask why you're suddenly like this to me._

With a smile, Aki simply said, "I just want to thank you for being here with me.." she told him.

There was that sad smile on his lips once more. Koichi leaned in and kissed her on the lips. "Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. If not, probably your dad or my parents will come by to visit."

Aki nodded, closing her eyes.

Something really didn't feel right, but it was soon lost once she succumbed to her slumber.

* * *

"Mother, whatever happens between me and Aki is no longer your business."

"How could you be so insolent, Koichi? Your wife has no right to still carry that 'thing' around! Aren't you disgusted?"

"Please... Mother, just leave. Just leave."

"Koichi! How dare you tell me to leave?! You would rather stomach that bastard child and your irresponsible wife than listen to your own mother?!"

"Mom, please! I don't want you here if you're just going to harass Aki!"

Something in the room snapped, forcing Aki's eyes open. Through the blur of her vision, she could see two people several feet from her bed arguing. She blinked several times and realized it was Koichi and his mother, Sachie. Aki didn't say anything but she just looked on wondering what was happening. Koichi's head was turned to her and Sachie had her hand raised. Aki opened her eyes, understanding that the mother had just slapped her son in the face. It was what she heard earlier.

Quickly, Aki sat up, the shock of seeing the argument waking her up.

Sachie's eyes drifted to her. Her lips tightened into a thin line, her complexion graying. "You..." she growled. In quick steps, she rushed to Aki with her hand raised and with all her force brought it down to her face.

Aki won't have it. With her left hand, she caught Sachie's wrist, gripping it tightly. Shock took over her. She didn't expect that attempt to hit her, but she grew angry seeing that Sachie was going to hurt her. She tightened her hold around the old woman's wrist, her eyes not leaving hers. Sachie tried to move once more, but Aki didn't let go of her.

"Don't you raise your hand at me.." Aki muttered in a deathly whisper.

"How dare you?! You have no idea what kind of embarrassment your disgusting deeds have brought all of us!", spat Sachie to her. "And you have the audacity to stop what's coming to you?! Have you no shame?! Carrying a child that doesn't belong to my son! What nerve have you to do this!"

Koichi rushed to his mother, pulling her away from Aki, who now grew pale. She let go of the old woman's hand, her eyes in disbelief as the truth of it all resonated in the hospital room. Aki searched Koichi's face, but all she was an angry man who struggled to protect her from his mother. Sachie kept on hitting Koichi, repeating 'How dare she' over and over as tears fell down her face.

"Mom, get out. I don't want you here!", he said loudly, pushing her mother away from Aki's bed and sending her down to the couch.

Sachie looked shocked at her son. "K-Koichi- how.. how could you do this to me? Have you no concern for what she's done to our family? I always told you to control her, that she's irresponsible... How come you didn't listen to me and that you choose you let her do as she wished?"

Aki felt something pierce her heart. She shivered at Sachie's words, feeling cold as she listened to Koichi's mother. She lifted her gaze up and only saw Koichi's broad back, shielding her. She felt her face get hot, tears plaguing to escape her eyes.

Somehow, she can't help but think that Sachie was right.

Why did she have to do all this?

How could she be so irresponsible?

Is it really worth the shame to find her happiness?

Guilt consumed Aki, her whole body trembling as she tried to keep it together. Sachie's words rang in her head repeatedly, her insides getting cold as she did her best to block out Sachie's voice. She didn't mean to do anything, she just wanted to be happy. She did her best to keep up with her husband's infidelity, but she wasn't a superwoman to endure it all until she died. If she was weak to have had an affair just to find some place to belong, then she admits it wholeheartedly. She doesn't regret it and she isn't going to deny it. Since the truth is already coming out, might as well join the bandwagon. It was unexpected, however, to happen at such an inconvenient time.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. It started with me, not with Aki."

Aki raised her head. She couldn't believe her ears. Her eyes were on Koichi. Even if all she can see was his back, he acted as a wall that shielded her from his own flesh and blood.

"Mother, just like you endured father's own infidelity, she did so with her all and didn't complain. I know what an asshole I've been to her and even if I had chosen to have a mistress, I always had this feeling in me to come home to her instead. It took me time to realize that Aki didn't deserve all those things from me, most especially when she has done nothing but devote herself to me ever since we got married. I did enjoy my mistress, but by the time I realized Aki can slip away from me, I didn't want that because I then understood how much she means to me. She's chosen me, mother. I am a lucky man for having someone like Aki who took all my wretchedness without using it all against me. She could've easily killed me, she could've left me, but she's still here. Saying cruel things to her... I can't forgive you if you say more."

"But look at what she did! How could you say she's devoted herself to you when she has had another man aside from you and that now, she's carrying that man's child!", screeched Sachie.

"You're just lucky that there was no one else crazy enough to divulge your own affair mother. I grew up watching you and father make fools of each other and I thought that was the right thing to do. I got older thinking whoever I end up marrying will have to accept everything about me. I treated Aki like how you and father treated each other: like a business transaction. Do you know how that disgusting that sounds? I am a product of your own parents' business venture. I cannot treat the child Aki's carrying like that. I have nothing against the child even if he's not mine. Aki took a beating to protect him and I am going to do my best to protect her. Mother, I do not have a grudge against Aki for going with another man. I wasn't man enough to show her that she's my woman and that I didn't love her the way I should've. The child... the child is there for a reason. The child inside Aki is borne out of love..."

Hearing Koichi say such things, Aki felt the tears trickle one by one down her cheeks. She still couldn't believe he was standing up for her.

"...love that I should've given her a long time ago. Someone else has beat me to it and I may be too late. Even if now I just recently realized the error of my ways, it doesn't change the fact that it's not mine; however, I plan to love that child because I love Aki. I love her, Mother. If you cannot accept that, I cannot accept you as my mother and wouldn't mind being disowned."

Koichi sighed heavily. Sachie slowly got up from the couch and looked at both of them with eyes full of rage.

"You're an imbecile for doing this to your own family, Koichi. You're an ungrateful brat. Are you doing this because we didn't let you marry Yashida's wife before? Is this payback for keeping you two apart?!", she asked. "I didn't even bother rat you out when I was told you were still seeing her! I let you do what you wanted because I know it will benefit you. Don't you understand that saving Aki's neck is just going to throw all those away?!"

Aki couldn't contain herself. His mother knew that her own son was philandering and consented it shamelessly? What kind of family was Koichi born in? Pity and concern ebbed into her heart as she listened. She reached over to Koichi's hand and took it in hers. He looked back at her tenderly, giving her a hand a squeeze which she returned. Their eyes met, her heart sinking lower as she saw him crying.

"Ai and I.. even if we did continue the affair up until after my marriage, there came times I wanted to stop. I thought that continuing to see her would still feel the same, but it didn't. It did give me promotions and I am indeed close to becoming Yashida's right hand man, but I thought about you and father. I didn't want my married life to be just like yours. I grew up in a household that didn't know what love is and what respect was. I can't do that to my own wife. I cannot take advantage of her name and the work benefits that came with her. You were always telling me what I needed to be, that business is important and that our name is more important than anything else. Aki was there to show me that I can make my own decisions and I am making my own now. All these years... I sacrificed my own happiness for what was right... Doesn't that make you feel guilty, Mother?"

"Are you blaming me for what you've become even after we've provided you with top-notch education, a lifestyle that most would envy and opportunities to succeed?" Sachie asked angrily.

"Yes and no. I blame you for not treating me like a son, for not bringing me up in a home full of love and smiles, for not listening to my own dreams and hopes. Do you think I wanted to be a businessman? You don't know that do you?" asked Koichi. "I blame myself for listening to you and father bully me into being robots like you. I blame myself for hurting Aki and for being such an abusive husband to her. I blame myself for not giving her happiness and for allowing another man to do that in my stead. I cannot blame the other man for taking her away from me when in fact I had all the opportunities and choices to be someone Aki would rely on. I blame myself for these things, but I blame you for ruining me and not showing me what love is."

Aki saw Sachie's face change to shock. It seemed to painfully true that she indeed wasn't aware of how miserable her son was. Even if Koichi did hurt her so much, Aki couldn't excuse herself from not feeling pity and worry over him. His hand tightened around hers and she could see his shoulders trembling even if he spoke normally in a much softer voice.

"What's the point of success if I am miserable? What's the point of all the money I made, the transactions I accomplished and the recognition when I am doing shitty things to get them? There's no point to it all.. It's meaningless..", he said in a half-whisper.

Sachie looked away from her son, embarrassment etched on her face. Aki could see her trying hard to stop the tears, but the old woman faltered. It seems that everything made sense to her, that her son wasn't a puppet and the he had feelings too.

Koichi didn't let Aki's hand go. "Mother, I cannot take for granted what Aki has done for me. I cannot just simply overlook the things I have done to her. I don't need you or father to understand anything because my life now is different. I have my own family to care for and to protect. If you cannot allow me to be a man, how else will I find my own path when all you do is tell me what is right? My right is different from yours, my happiness is different from yours. I don't want to see the world in your eyes, I want my own point of view."

"Have it your way. Still..."

Sachie looked up at Koichi and Aki, her eyes looking betrayed.

"I will never accept that child. Get rid of it, or we will really disown you, Koichi. You will never expect anything from me or your father and we will forget that we ever had a son," she shakily said, clutching her chest. "We've brought you up well.. and I do admit we had faults, but we never taught you to be this stupid and waste your life for this woman who has no breeding and gets pregnant with some bastard child. And you," Her eyes darted to Aki. "I don't know what you did to my son, but you have no room to have your way when you're just someone who's come from a business transaction as well. What makes you think love will make you survive in this world? Only country bumpkins and hillbillies believe in that garbage!"

"You're... you're vile."

Koichi and Sachie turn to Aki who has her head bowed. Aki controlled her own tears and did her best not to lash out since she was still Koichi's mother after all, however it proved to be difficult. Hearing a mother say such things to her child made her feel mad and sad at the same time. Whether or not Aki was from a business transaction, her father didn't treat her that way, and even if he did, he apologized to her. Ringo gave her room to make things right for her own sake and not everyone else's. He gave her freedom to be happy. The Natsukawas caged their son, brought him up with ideals that caused him to be insensitive to other people's feelings and gave him misery that he simply shielded by doing what they wanted just to make them happy. Aki couldn't stand it. Even if he hurt her and made her cry lots of times, she can only feel anger towards how he was treated. He didn't deserve it all.

"What did you say?!" retorted Sachie, but Koichi put out a hand to stop her from coming closer to Aki.

"You're not worthy of being called a mother if you still continue to threaten your son with pointless consequences! I suffered because of your own negligence towards your son and you can't even take responsibility for it?! Koichi hurt me and almost destroyed me, and all this time I thought it was because of his own decisions, but now... you're a monster! I may have no room to speak, but you're hurting him more now when you tell him that the life you forced to have him live is what's right for him! Koichi isn't a puppet, nor your toy you can put in different scenarios and have him do your bidding! Haven't you considered his feelings?! Didn't you think of his well-being? You may have given him everything but your deprived him the most basic thing and that is love!" Aki shook her head in disgust at the old woman, grimacing as everything poured out of her mouth. "I always thought Koichi was heartless and someone who just wanted me to be miserable, but it was just him doing his best to make you happy even if it cost him his own smiles.. Now that he's man enough to admit his faults and take responsibility for the things he's done... you're upset because he no longer wants to be a cause of pain for others? He's being man enough to show you that whatever he's gotten himself into is going to be dealt with properly. Those values... he's learned on his own. You're not proud of him for that?"

Aki didn't back down. She didn't notice Koichi's eyes widening as he watched her talk back to his mother.

Sachie looked angry, but there was a helplessness that was obvious in how she stood.

"How... _dare_ you talk to me in such a tone..." She glowered at Aki and pointed a trembling finger at her. "You have some nerve to shame me before my own son and you talk to me as if you know him. You're just masking the fact your own errors are now out in the open and you're using this new information about us to protect yourself. I always thought of you as stupid, but seeing how you can be such a conniving bitch beneath that innocent face of yours, I admit I have underestimated you."

Aki scoffed. Sachie's words reminded her clearly of Ai Yashida. Those pointless accusations and that misconstrued logic, it reflected her so well. Its as if they were two peas in a pod. "Well, you must've been too senile and slow to actually notice anything. At least Koichi didn't inherit that crazy, dingbat mind of yours. Clearly you're too cocky to not even size me up when you paired me with him. It should've been already obvious when I didn't want to stop working that I wasn't one to back down so easily."

"What did you just say?! See here, you're the one at fault and blowing yourself up with another man's child isn't the doing of a normal woman! You're shameless, dirty and can be equally at par with a prostitute! You have nothing to boast, nothing to be proud of! You should be glad my son married waste like you! Doing this to him... I cannot fathom how you think you are worthy for talking back to me when you are lacking any common sense for what you've done!" Sachie eyed Aki dirtily. "You have no right to lecture me... I don't need to hear this from someone worthless like you. You will soon understand what you've done has dire consequences, Aki. I swear my very name and breath on that fact and I will be there to laugh in your face when that happens."

"Mother, you're out of line... Didn't I tell you to just leave me and Aki? Your being here is causing stress to our family," growled Koichi. "I don't want any word from you anymore and if you think I am no longer worthy to be called your son, so be it. I don't need a mother and a father who have screwed themselves and are living pointless lives day by day. I have my own life now. I have my own family. And you... you will not do anything to harm Aki or my son."

_Koichi... referred to us as a... family..._ Aki said in her mind, her eyes quickly glancing at him. _And he's... called the baby his son... But..._

Sachie gave a mocking laugh. "Family... A family built on shame and dishonor. Do not stress yourself, Koichi. You'll realize that this woman will be in the wrong and will be indebted to you her whole life for what she's done. I don't want to consider divorce since transactions during this peak month is crucial. You should both be thankful that both your fathers are covering up this disgusting scandal that you two are involved in. You should be grateful that the other and bigger business partners have not gotten wind of this. We're shelling millions to keep this in private just so you two can still have some face to show. If Yashida was to find out, you'll be left with nothing, Koichi, and you will come crying back to mommy for help in order to nullify your marriage with this very woman who will soon destroy your life. That's how it will be. And you Aki, will find yourself no longer relevant in this prestigious world of business. The sons of your father's partners will know of your indiscretion and you will be blacklisted as a woman stained with dishonor. You should've just listened to me and become a housewife to escape all this mess instead of creating one out of your selfishness."

"Get out. If you do not leave now, I'll drag you out myself. I don't care if you're my mother or not. I can't have you talking to my wife like that. Please, I am asking you, get out," said Koichi, bowing low to Sachie. He was breathing heavily and it seemed like he was trying to calm himself. "This is the last thing I'l ask of you so please, mother, leave us."

Aki didn't say anything. Something about Sachie's words proved to be some sort of warning. There was a foreboding in her words, an omen finally leeching itself onto her as she kept a steady face to show she's not afraid of Koichi's mother or whatever was out to get her. She and Koichi still had their hands clasped, her heart racing as she watched Sachie proceed to the door.

With one last look, she gave both of them a cold smile. "This isn't over yet," she finally told them, and left the room with the door softly clicking behind her.

* * *

"How serious are you about her?"

The lover didn't break eye contact with the old man who was looking at him from the other side of the table. He could see in the old man's eyes the concern and the interest that was directed to him and his relationship with his daughter.

"Serious enough to accept that she's still chosen her husband over me despite everything... and serious enough to take over the responsibility of being her child's father."

The old man nodded. He fondly looked at the lover and smiled at him. "When she told me... I couldn't believe it, but somehow knew it was you. I don't know how things will work out in your favor, however, I would want you to understand that this situation you're in isn't to be taken lightly. You can't just sweep her away from her husband expecting the divorce will come as planned. He's come to his senses and will be holding on to my daughter tightly that you might not be able to have room to even hold her hand."

The lover nodded. "I understand, sir. I do not mean to intrude in their lives, but even so, I would like to be recognized as the child's legal and biological father. I cannot have anyone else covering me up," he said firmly. "I love your daughter, even more so now that she's carrying my child. I will protect her and our son even if it is from a distance. I know he won't give her up easily, but I will not just back away. I am a father now, I want to be there by her side no matter what... even if it is a little further away than I'd hoped."

The father kindly smiled at the lover, reaching over and patting his shoulder in a fatherly manner.

"Having a man like you for a son-in-law would bring so much honor and pride... You were brought up well, son. If only circumstances would've been different... I wouldn't have given her away and allowed her to be a pawn in some-"

"Sir, please... She loves you and does not take offense for what has happened, neither do I."

The lover gave the father a reassuring smile.

"Life brought me to her in this strange series of events. Whether it is to get better or worse, I'll always be by her side for her and our son. I know I may not be recognized as her husband and will greatly earn the ire of everyone if I was to be revealed, but I will take responsibility because I love her. My reputation doesn't mean anything to me nor my work. I just want to live a life with no regrets. We may have put ourselves in great risk because of this affair, but I gained my redemption through her. I was able to forgive myself for the things I couldn't do and I have sworn to live my life to the fullest. I cannot thank her enough for showing me all this.."

He bowed his head to his loved one's father.

"..and thank you, sir, for being kind to me even until this moment."

The father couldn't help but stare at the lover with a gleaming respect in his eyes. "For all your patience, understanding and love for my daughter.."

He also lowered his head, bowing to the younger man.

"You've earned my undying gratitude and respect. Please watch over her and always know that I welcome you no matter who you are. You are a strong and reliable man. Anyone would be lucky to have you as her husband."

"I only have my heart and everything set on your daughter, sir."

The old man raised his head and smiled sympathetically. "Even if she can never be yours?", he asked.

The lover's eyes wavered, a sad smile curling on his lips. What the old man said was a truth that he will be soon forced to accept, but even so, he bore no ill feelings nor grudge to the fate he was given. All he knew was her smile, her laugh, her tears... everything about her was all he cared about. He was happy and though there was a loneliness that misted in his eyes, he didn't mind at all. Just knowing she was safe and their son was healthy was all that mattered to him.

"Yes... even if she can never be truly mine and I am at the losing end of all this. I am, after all, content knowing she became mine even just for a moment... and with that, I am happy."

* * *

Aki and Koichi were silent.

Both of them still had their hands clasped as Sachie's warning slowly left the room. There was a very uncomfortable feeling that she'd left, making the room seem uneasy to be in. It was weird. It felt like the room was a morgue. It was stifling and the air was suffocating; add to that the cold air from the air conditioning, the room turned out to be a freezing vacuum of unsung truths and misery.

"Are you alright?"

Koichi turned around to face Aki, sitting on the edge of the bed. His other hand still hasn't let go of her, his grip tightening a little more as he gritted his teeth and swallowed a sob. Aki felt hurt for his sake. She didn't imagine standing up to his own mother would cause Koichi to break down like a deck of cards.

"I am... Don't worry about me..", she replied softly, shifting in her place in order to get close to him. She gave him a smile, albeit forced.

Koichi looked at her imploringly, his eyes brimming with tears. There was almost a boyish fearfulness present in his eyes, his hand shaking slightly as he tightly held onto hers. "I'm... I'm... I'm so sorry for how my mother talk to you... To even witness her about to hit you..." He closed his eyes and tears fell down his cheeks. His breath was shaky and ragged, that he tried so hard to keep it all in. "Aki, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry for doing this to you!", he cried breathlessly, embracing her. "I know I cannot use what has happened to me as an excuse, but I know now that I am going to take responsibility for all that I have done. I don't mind you hurting me, I don't mind you cursing me or having me feel what I did... I don't give a damn about that.. I'm sorry, Aki, for hurting you when you least deserved it."

Aki can only blankly look at the whiteness around her, feeling Koichi's body tremble as he clung onto her. She felt on her skin his hot tears that flowed down to her heart and the misery he's kept all these years. She allowed him to cry on her shoulder, to hold her in his arms as he released all that he's kept in him. Gone was the Koichi who only knew of his job, his mistress and his benefits; there was a boy who rose from the tears, searching for a place to belong to as well, to be shown love that he's been deprived of in his youth. Aki deftly placed her arms around him, stroking his back as she felt her own tears quietly leave. She felt his pain and understood him better now...

...but it didn't simply erase the hurt she went beneath his former self.

It still scarred her and reminded her of the cruel things he's done and said to her, but now, the pain wasn't bad as it used to be.

"Shh.. I'm not mad...", she told him. "And you didn't deserve to grow up unloved and uncared for.. You didn't deserve those things, so please don't take it as a right to suffer for hurting me.. Koichi, you didn't deserve those things and you didn't deserve to be told those horrible things. I am not angry. I am not going to hurt you just so you can understand how I feel. I am not going to take advantage of this nor use this against you. Don't think I am mad.. I just feel so sad that you had to go through all that. I'm sorry, Koichi,, for how you were raised.. for how they ignored you.. I am sorry if you thought the world was a cruel place that you had to be cruel too.. But do know you never deserved that. I tell you, you of all people didn't need to be treated that way.."

Koichi broke his embrace and looked back at her. "I don't know how you can't be after everything I've done to you... You still care.. I don't even understand how you could still hold me like this and still be here knowing that I didn't really care for you at all when we got married.. Aki, please... Be mad, be angry if you want to.. Hit me, I will accept. I will gladly atone for all my sins... I will even allow you to see him, just please, don't leave me.."

"Koichi..."

Aki didn't know what to say. She could very well see the desperation in Koichi's words, the urgency in him to know if she will leave him or not. Even bringing Kippei into the mix just showed that Koichi didn't mind him at all. It just showed Koichi was more concerned about them now rather than anything else. Knowing such a fact warmed her heart, but it gave a chill down her spine as she can only feel a cramp protest a little. Secretly, she told herself that Koichi now means no harm and is changing before her eyes, but...

_Why just now? Why not sooner?_

"Koichi... you don't need to say things like that... I have more faults than you and I... I'm carrying a baby that belongs to someone else.. You should be the one who's mad. You should be the one who's angry... Not me," she told him.

Even if he was just changing now, it was better than never. Aki thought of that and simply accepted it, but there was something else in her that couldn't just settle with it.

Koichi placed his hand onto her cheek. He shook his head and swallowed his emotions. "No... I don't care about the other man. I don't care if the baby you're carrying isn't mine... I don't care about anything else, I just want you to understand that I cannot give you up. I am willing to let you see him, I am willing to father his child like my own.. I am willing to love your baby and care for him.. I am willing to be a better man for you, Aki... I can't lose you because of my faults... Please..."

He bowed his head, retracting his hand from her face and placed it over his eyes. Seeing Koichi be so helpless made Aki's own heart constrict in her chest.

"Please allow me to make it up to you... Please give me a chance..."

Aki couldn't break away from him. Koichi took both her hands to his lips and kissed them, his own hand shaking.

"Please... Aki.. Please forgive me..", he begged.

She could feel the lump in her throat wanting to escape into a sob, but she held it back to give way for Koichi's own release. He needed this. He needed to lessen the misery that was pent up in him all these years. Aki wanted to free him from it...

...but she wasn't sure if it was that easy to forgive him.

Thinking back on what he's done, she could feel the hatred rising once more, but only to dwindle as she listened to him crying. How he clung onto her hands erased all those bitter times he left her to nurse her broken heart on her own, and how he tenderly gazed at her now showed her that he was indeed willing to show her he wanted her to stay with him. It came as a shock to her, but it gave her a sense of relief that only eased the pain that she's held in his name all this time. She couldn't of anything else, but she did acknowledge the fact that forgiving him isn't just a one-day thing. There were still those scars, those words that wounded her soul that she tried to shun away but failed. It wasn't easy to just say 'I forgive you', only to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and then resent him for what he's done. Aki cannot simply just give him that too quickly. She wanted to forgive him in her own time and way and she didn't want him to be indebted to her. She can't treat him the way his parents treated him. If he wanted to earn her forgiveness, he had to atone for them and be someone better, not only for her, but most of all, for himself. There was still so much more that they needed to talk about, that they needed to settle...

..and most important of all, what about Kippei?

The mere thought of him sliced through her like a knife, the pain so bittersweet that she didn't bother wince. Aki can only wish that things didn't have to be so complicated. Kippei brought upon a confusing clarity that only he can do. She knew so well what she really wanted, but given the current situation now, she had to weigh things by importance. It was hard. Both Kippei and Koichi were important to her.

"Koichi... I don't... I'm not sure if I can forgive you that easily... but, I am not closing my doors to that possibility," she told him honestly. "I have my own feelings to deal with and I wouldn't want you just living your life in search of your forgiveness..."

Aki's mind drifted to Kippei now, her feelings recalling what it felt like to listen to Kippei explain to her that he breathed and lived to find the forgiveness he's searched for for not being able to do much for his brother Kouhei and for not having both their dreams come true when he was still alive. She saw how withdrawn and miserable Kippei was and she didn't want that for Koichi. Koichi didn't serve to be indebted to someone even after what he's done. She wanted him to be free from all the pain and regret in his heart, and he can only be free from it by forgiving himself first.

That was the right thing to do.

"Forgive yourself... Forgive yourself for everything you've done and free yourself from carrying such a burden... Koichi... even if you did hurt me and caused me so much strife... You don't deserve to suffer because of it. You don't need to bear it all on your own.." Aki sighed and gave him a reassuring smile. "It may take time for me to forgive you, but forgive yourself first and be someone who will live their life in search of happiness. You're not a bad person.. You're not evil.. You're not a robot, nor a toy.. You're Koichi Natsukawa. A man with his own life, dreams, choices, limitations, strengths and weaknesses... You are a man with emotions and doubts... but you are free to be who you want to be.. You do not need me to show you the path to forgiveness because that is something you must show yourself first..."

Koichi raised his head up and looked like he was going to cry again. "Aki... you...", was all he can muster.

Aki smiled kindly at Koichi and said, "Do not count your faults and beat yourself up for it when you can just live freely and atone for it with your sincerest smile and happiness. I want that for you, Koichi.. I will always want what's best for you... I want you to be happy."

Koichi looked so overwhelmed. Speechless, he can only kiss her tenderly, his arms around her tightly as he gave her himself through every kiss on her lips.

"I love you... I love you so much, Aki..", he said over and over again through every kiss. "I love you so much.."

Aki welcomed his apology wholeheartedly, feeling her own set of emotions settle a little since they were on the road to becoming mutual. However, from here on, where are they headed now?

Koichi broke their kiss and said the most heart-stopping thing. "I know I really hurt you... and I won't pressure you at all.. I just want you to know that I love you sincerely... I don't mind if you don't say it back..." His gaze then turned serious, his tender hold on her face now had a little determination. "I will win your love from him if I must. I love you... and I am not willing to share you with anyone, most especially to him."

Ak's eyes grew wide.

Koichi's voice didn't sound like his own. To Aki, it was as if Kippei was there in the room with her.

She simply accepted Koichi's kiss once more and allowed him to hold her in his arms.

Both of them were quiet, with Aki unsure of what she was feeling but there was a comfort within her that stirred knowing Koichi was on his way to becoming someone better. She smiled feebly as she listened to him breathe, calming himself as he didn't let go. She could hear his heart beat, his own smell making her drowsy as the earlier confrontation tired her out.

With a heavy sigh, Koichi released her and looked deep into her eyes.

"That reminds me, I hope you don't mind, but I already signed papers for us to move into another apartment. I don't want to stress you in our old one seeing that it harbors pretty bad memories and..." A blush appeared on Koichi's cheeks. "I do want us to start anew away from everything that will only stress you."

Aki couldn't help but give a teasing smile. "I can't believe this is the first time I am seeing you blush, Mr. Natsukawa."

Koichi wiped his nose and took the remote on the bedside table. He averted his gaze, his ears pink. "Be quiet."

The television switched on with a press of a button and both of them were thrown into silence as the news gave a flash report.

**Yashida tycoon currently in hospital!**

Aki quickly glanced at Koichi who only looked stoic as he raised the volume. His expression was unreadable, but it was as if Koichi knew what was happening.

_"Sources tell us that Mr. Yashida suffered a heart attack earlier today at around 9AM. Information  
about his younger wife, Ai Yashida, having illicit affairs among his business partners have  
surfaced and reached the tycoon. One of his associates, Koichi Natsukawa, has broken his silence  
and has admitted to being one of the men involved. He is the son of Tetsuro Natsukawa of Natsukawa Holdings,  
and is the son-in-law of Ringo Gojo, head of Gojo Group of Companies or GGC.  
We have not yet had word on the whereabouts of Ai Yashida, but the legitimate children from his first marriage have agreed  
to not allow her to visit or to have any part of his estates, stocks and assets if ever the tycoon turns in  
for the worse. The children, however, wish to alert the public to surrender Ai Yashida for counts of embezzlement,  
fraud, extortion, grave scandal and serious physical injuries inflicted on Ringo Gojo's daughter, Aki Gojo-Natsukawa  
recently. If anyone has seen her, please alert the authorities._

Aki was speechless. She didn't expect to see her name on television, let alone have Koichi do something so radical. She couldn't breathe, let alone think of what to say. Slowly, she looked at Koichi. He had his head bowed and his hand reached over to hold hers.

"I want to start anew.. and I can't just do it right if I don't do the right thing. My reputation nor my family name doesn't matter to me now. I can't continue doing something so selfish..." he muttered.

"But... Koichi... you didn't have to...", Aki told him. "What about-"

"I said I didn't care about my reputation. What I did was wrong and it was only right of me to correct it even if it will only bring shame to my family. I am not ashamed at all since I accept that what I did isn't easily overlooked. I don't want to live if I have to surround myself with business that will only ruin lives." Koichi glanced at her and sighed. "You are worth the sacrifice, Aki. None of this is worth it if you are the one suffering in my honor."

Aki gazed in his eyes and saw the sincerity and seriousness. She couldn't help but trust him. She felt his hand tighten its hold around hers.

"I want to move out of our apartment because it's pretty dangerous now considering Ai is volatile. I know her too well and once she doesn't get what she wants, she ends up doing things that usually do not benefit everyone around her. I put it out there so that the authorities can apprehend her before she does something stupid. Better let the public be aware rather than give her an advantage. This is also penance for the families and lives she's destroyed."

Koichi placed a hand on Aki's stomach and affectionately stroked it.

"I may not be him... but I am going to protect you," he told her.

Aki didn't feel the least scared, nor felt insecure. Koichi was already making her feel safe, but one thing crossed her mind..

...does Kippei know of this?

She placed her hand on top of Koichi's and felt a cramp.

It horribly didn't feel right.


End file.
